To those of you thinking I've forgotten our dear Aunt Catherine I assure you I haven't. I'm a big fan of flashbacks.
Chapter 7
At the Gardiner's Elizabeth and Jane were having breakfast with their relations. While the sisters usually enjoyed the time with their favored aunt and uncle, and of course their darling children, they were less enthusiastic about this trip for apparent reasons. Madeline Gardener had taken the girls aside the night prior and asked about Elizabeth's surprise engagement to Mr. Darcy, one of the most sought after bachelors in all of England, and once she'd learned of the particulars she'd become very apprehensive.
When Mr. Darcy had come to them in London not even a week past telling them he had located Wickham and Lydia and needed them to act as witnesses in the wedding, she had definitely harbored suspicions about his motivation in helping their family escape ruin, but she had never expected it to be because he desired her favorite niece Elizabeth so much he intended to use the near scandal to force her into marriage. As much as Madeline wanted to see her niece well settled, she was not pleased with this arrangement.
Now as the entire family waited for Elizabeth's suitor to call, Madeline found herself asking, "Are you anxious to see Mr. Darcy, Lizzy?"
Directing her attention to her aunt, Elizabeth replied, "I would not call it anxious, Aunt, but I find myself very eager for his company. Mr. Darcy and I have a great many things to discuss between us. The beginning of our relationship was not ideal, and a great many misunderstandings lie between us. I have high hopes that we shall be able to resolve them all and move forward in our relationship."
"That is good to hear," Mr. Gardiner commented. "We were not much in his company when he came to call about Lydia, but he does appear to be a good man."
Nodding her head, Madeline added, "Very serious however."
"Indeed," Elizabeth agreed, "he is a man that takes his responsibilities very seriously, but I think that is one of his better attributes." What Elizabeth didn't say was that while she loved her father very much, she was not unaware of his faults. He often hid in his library to keep from having to address the responsibilities of his family or estate. As such it had led to him put little away in the form of dowry for his daughters, and had allowed his silly wife to raise two of them in such a way that they were half wild while another distanced herself from society with her strict adherence to scripture. So while Elizabeth still felt Mr. Darcy's pride and arrogance needed addressing, she did not worry at all that he would ever fail to do his duty to her, their family, or their estate.
Knowing what she was about to ask was unorthodox, but needing to ask it all the same, Elizabeth addressed her family, "I know this will seem very strange, but I was hoping you might allow me some privacy with Mr. Darcy when he calls today so that we may discuss a few matters of great import."
Madeline and Edward shared a look before Edward replied, "Lizzy, while your aunt and I know you would never do anything improper we feel that all means of preserving your reputation must be taken. With Lydia's near scandal and the differences in yours and Mr. Darcy's situation there will be much speculation that this marriage is a necessity. We must do all we can to ensure your reputation. If we allow you to be alone and others were to hear of it there could be rumors."
Having expected this argument, Elizabeth persuaded, "I know, and that is why I ask for the privacy here in your home. Your servants have been with you for nearly a decade, and they are most loyal to you. I have the greatest confidence they will not speak of anything they should not, and Mr. Darcy and I really do have much to discuss. Matters I would like to see to before we are wed."
Again Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner shared a look before her uncle finally declared, "So be it. We will allow you and Mr. Darcy some privacy, albeit not for long, in order for you to discuss whatever it is you need to, but remember, Lizzy, it will not be for long and your Aunt and I will be near."
Understanding her family's fear of more scandal in the wake of Lydia's foolishness, Elizabeth assured, "I give you my word that nothing untoward shall take place. There are simply several matters that Mr. Darcy and I must address."
The rest of breakfast passed quickly and soon enough it was time for callers. The family was in the parlor when Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley were announced. As soon as both gentlemen were announced Elizabeth realized that Mr. Darcy must have gone to his friend immediately to set things right, and it only further proved that he was willing to go to great lengths to make her happy. Now that she had had time to cool down from her initial anger, Elizabeth could acknowledge that Mr. Darcy had not separated her sister from his friend to be cruel, but because he thought it was the right thing to do. She still didn't disagree with what he had done, but she no longer hated him for it. He had made a mistake, and by Mr. Bingley's presence it was a mistake he had obviously acted quickly to right. She was pleased with his willingness to right his own wrongs, proving behind his haughty exterior there was a genuine and true heart, but in light of her discussion with Jane previously about Mr. Bingley his presence this morning did present a problem.
Thus Elizabeth immediately looked to her sister to see her reaction to being in Mr. Bingley's company again so soon. Seeing Jane's expression guarded, Elizabeth worried over how the afternoon would proceed. She also knew that Mr. Bingley's presence might make it harder for her to meet privately with her betrothed.
Introductions and the standard polite greetings were made, as well as the common and expected initial discussion of weather and carriage traffic in London that might have effected the gentlemen's journey here, before Mr. Darcy took a seat near Lizzy, and greeted, "You are looking well today, Lizzy."
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy, I am very well. I hope the same can be said for you."
"Now that I am in your presence again I am quite well."
Blushing slightly at the compliment, Elizabeth replied, "Truthfully I am glad to see you again. I feel there is a great deal you and I must discuss."
"Indeed."
Eyes darting to Mr. Bingley, Lizzy whispered, "I had spoken to my aunt and uncle this morning and begged them to provide us with some privacy, but with Mr. Bingley here it might be impossible. With Lydia's antics my family feels that my reputation, and my family's reputation, must be guarded at all costs."
Understanding her reasoning, Darcy assured, "Bingley would never say anything to cast doubt upon your character, Elizabeth, but perhaps your uncle could take him to his study to discuss business? Bingley still has many investments in trade and I'm sure your uncle could keep him occupied for some time."
Liking the idea, Elizabeth turned to her uncle and suggested, "Uncle, perhaps you would like to take Mr. Bingley to your study? Mr. Darcy tells me there are many things the two of you could discuss. I do believe you have an upcoming shipment you are worried will be too large for your current warehouse if I am not mistaken."
Knowing what his niece was getting at, and recognizing Bingley's name, though he'd never met the man himself his father had built quite the empire, Mr. Gardiner stood and offered, "Indeed, Mr. Bingley, I have heard much of your father's prowess in business, and I do believe there is much we could discuss."
Charles looked very much like he wanted to decline the offer, but he couldn't think of a polite way to do so. He'd been trying to engage Jane in conversation since arriving, but she had said little beyond the required polite greeting and civilities. She had mainly kept her eyes on whatever it was she was sewing, and he knew that regaining her regard was not going to be an easy task. Seeing no other alternative Mr. Bingley rose from his seat near Jane and followed Mr. Gardiner from the room.
Once they were gone Jane and Madeline rose from their seats, as Mrs. Gardiner said, "We shall just be out in the hall. We'll keep the servants from intruding and we'll be able to hear Edward and Mr. Bingley returning before they make it down the hall so we will have time to rejoin you before they do."
Lizzy's aunt gave her one last meaningful look before ushering Jane out of the room to provide the affianced couple a chance to speak privately. Once they were gone Mr. Darcy moved quickly to kneel before Elizabeth. Taking her hands he implored, "My Elizabeth, please, please tell me how to earn your forgiveness for my mistakes!"
Entirely taken aback by Mr. Darcy humbling himself before her Elizabeth could only gape at him as he continued, "I am so sorry for what I have done to your sister and my friend. Looking back I can see that you are right. I let my own pride and conceit cloud my judgment, and you are definitely correct that I had no right to interfere between your sister and my friend. I have already confessed all to Bingley, and it is my hope that the rift I caused between him and your sister might be quickly mended so they can continue on before."
When Elizabeth merely continued to stare at him with an astonished expression, Darcy gripped her hands tighter, begging, "Please Elizabeth, please tell me how to earn your forgiveness! I want to be the best of men for you, and I see now that my own pride and arrogance clouded my judgment and blinded me to my own faults. I promise to do my best to never act in such a way again."
Finally finding her voice, Elizabeth slowly pulled her hands from Mr. Darcy's and replied, "Mr. Darcy, it gives me great hope that you are able to see your actions for what they were, and even greater hope that you were able to recognize your own character flaws. I am glad you are taking strides to correct them, but the truth is the separation of Bingley and my sister is not entirely your fault."
"I do not understand."
"I spoke to my sister about Mr. Bingley and she said that regardless of your advice to him he should have followed his own heart, that he should have had the strength of character to follow his own heart regardless of yours or his sister's wishes or advice. She fears that a man so easily influenced by others could not provide her with the happiness in life that she desires, and I cannot help but agree. If Mr. Bingley's character is so weak that he would abandon a woman he had such depth of feeling for because another told him it would be best than Jane is right, and he is not good enough for her."
Clearly taken aback Mr. Darcy rose from his kneeling position before Elizabeth and paced the room as he ran a frustrated hand over his face while muttering to himself. Finally he turned to face Elizabeth and declared, "I have truly made a mess of everything! And now I have lost my greatest friend! It is no wonder you despise me so!"
"I do not have the pleasure of understanding you."
"After I told Bingley of my mistake and your sister's feelings for him he was furious with me. Rightly so."
Remembering Mr. Bingley's amiable persona Elizabeth offered, "I am sure once he has some time that he will forgive you."
"No he will not." Looking increasingly distressed, Mr. Darcy explained, "Charles made it very clear that if your sister does not forgive him he will not forgive me and shall end our acquaintance."
"Oh dear."
When Elizabeth fell silent again, Darcy retook his seat near her and whispered, "You were right about me. Everything you said was true. I am a hateful man. My arrogance and conceit and selfish disdain for the feelings of others have cost me my greatest friend."
Seeing how upset he was, and wishing to allay some of his dismay, Elizabeth reached out to take his hand and soothed, "Fitzwilliam, look at me please."
Raising distressed eyes to meet those of the woman he loved so deeply, Darcy's breath hitched at the kindness and warmth reflected in Elizabeth's. He felt a stirring of hope and ruthlessly pushed it down. Elizabeth had been right about him. He cared for no one and nothing but himself and did nothing but hurt those around him. She was right to despise him, and right in that he did not deserve her.
Offering her fiancée a soft smile, Lizzy assured, "Mr. Darcy, I have said some unjust things to you, and while I do believe you have partaken of some hurtful and damaging actions, I no longer believe you to be a hateful man."
Eyes now alighting with hope, Mr. Darcy asked, "Truly?"
Smiling wider, Elizabeth promised, "Truly. I think you are a man that was raised never to question his status or surroundings, and that is not entirely your fault. You were raised to see the world one way and one way only, and I am pleased that you are beginning to see beyond station to partaken in the characters of those around you. I assure you the more time I spend around you the more hopeful I am of our future."
Turning his hand to clutch hers that was atop it, Darcy replied, "You do not know what your words do to me, Lizzy. I fear your rejection more than anything else, and I am very glad that knowing you is allowing me to become a better man."
"I think perhaps the goodness has always been inside you. It was simply hiding."
The two shared a smile before Darcy asked, "But what am I to do with Bingley?"
"You are asking for my advice?"
Nodding his head, Darcy explained, "You are the most intelligent person I know, Lizzy, and you perceive the world differently than I do. In a way that I wish to, so yes, I am asking for your advice."
Pleased with his words, Lizzy offered, "Then my advice is to do nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing," Elizabeth repeated. "Whether or not Mr. Bingley is worthy of my sister is up to him to prove to her now. She will make his own choice as he must learn to make his own choices."
Elizabeth was thoughtful for a moment before suggesting, "Fitzwilliam, it seems to me that you befriended Mr. Bingley in school where he no doubt had few friends due to his connection to trade. Am I correct?"
"Quite."
"So it seems that he learned to follow your lead as you come from a long line of landed gentleman. I am sure his father encouraged his going to you for guidance."
"Indeed he did, and I was always happy to provide it, though now I wish I had not inserted myself into his affairs so much."
Squeezing his hand, Elizabeth continued, "I am sure when he was younger he needed your guidance. From the moment you were born you were taught what to do to be landed gentleman, how to not only manage your estate but navigate the Ton, and I am sure Mr. Bingley was not, but it is time for him to be his own man and to make his own decisions. You have done what you can by telling him of your mistake, but now he must accept responsibility for his share of the dilemma. He is an adult, and he chose to leave. You did not kidnap him or force him to leave Meryton. Advice or no, the decision to leave was his own, and now he must make it right."
"If it can be made right."
Another moment of silence stretched between them where Mr. Darcy allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of Elizabeth's much smaller hand encased in his own, but soon he found himself asking, "Do you think your sister can forgive Bingley?"
"I am sure she will, but I do not know if they can go on as before. She was greatly wounded by his abandoning her the way he did."
At Mr. Darcy's crestfallen expression Elizabeth reminded, "Fitzwilliam, you may have advised Mr. Bingley, but you did not make his decisions for him."
"But he would never have left if it were not for my ill conceived counsel."
"Perhaps, but as my sister said in the end Mr. Bingley is his own man. His decisions are his own. He chose to follow your advice over his own heart. That is a weakness in his character he must overcome if he expects to win my sister's hand, and I am quite certain that Miss Bingley had a fair hand in separating your friend from my brother."
Letting out a bitter laugh, Mr. Darcy agreed, "Oh yes, Caroline was only too happy to help me in my foolish and hurtful plan. I am ashamed I ever allied with her in such a way."
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Lizzy teased, "I must admit I am most curious to see Miss Bingley's reaction to our engagement."
Sharing Lizzy's humor and offering her his own smile, Darcy promised, "Believe me she is less than pleased with our upcoming nuptials. I was forced to have words with her when she made foolish threats."
When Elizabeth arched a brow in question Darcy explained, "You are aware of her aspirations to being my wife and Mistress of Pemberley?"
"I do not think anyone who has ever met Miss Bingley could be in doubt as to her intentions towards you."
"Quite right. Well when I called on Bingley to divulge my mistake to him I was forced to spend the evening with Miss Bingley. She pressed me on the issue and I verified that we were soon to be wed, and that I was indeed marrying you because I wished to and not because of entrapment. As expected she was quite furious. She made very foolish threats to slander you and your family to the ton."
Tightening his hand around Elizabeth's Darcy assured, "I promised her if she made even the tiniest bit of trouble for you I would make sure she would never be welcomed by the Ton or any semblance of polite society again. Miss Bingley has only been allowed into the social circles she is because of her brother's friendship with me. I made it quite clear I would cut her publically and destroy her reputation if she tried to harm you in any way."
Once again Elizabeth found herself touched by Mr. Darcy's dedication to her and she said, "It truly amazes me how little I knew you."
"Pardon?"
Gazing into his eyes, Elizabeth answered, "It is obvious to me now that you are a man with a very loving heart, but I cannot help but wonder why you hide it so well."
Pain flashed in Darcy's eyes for a moment before he said, "I was raised to believe that a gentleman never shows his emotions. That I must keep myself under regulation at all times."
Elizabeth could tell that there was more to the story than what her intended was currently sharing, but she knew now was not the time to press him. Instead she commented, "It surprises me then that you are drawn to me. I am quite the opposite."
The pain fading away from his gaze, Fitzwilliam replied, "I believe it is your joy and vivacity I admire most about you. Well that and your fearlessness."
"Fearlessness? I have never considered that to be one of my traits."
"Well it is. I do not know one woman of my acquaintance with the courage you possess."
Still disagreeing with him, Lizzy laughed, "I am many things, my dear Mr. Darcy, but fearless is not among them. My courage may always rise, but that does not mean I am without fear."
"Perhaps it is courage, but the fact remains you are a woman that follows your own heart. You believe what you believe, and you do not let the feelings or opinions of others dictate your behavior. I admire that. I admire you, and I wish I had such courage."
Flushing at his praise and looking down at her lap, Lizzy whispered, "Though you must admit my so called courage causes quite a scene from time to time. You must have thought me a wild country thing when I arrived at Netherfield that morning covered in mud."
Reaching out with his free hand to take hold of her chin and bring her gaze back to his, Mr. Darcy assured, "My dear Elizabeth, it was that moment I truly began to fall in love with you."
Staring into his intense gaze, Lizzy asked, "Truly?"
Brushing his thumb across her cheek in a ghost of a caress, Darcy promised, "Elizabeth, when you were shown into the breakfast parlor that morning and I saw you my heart skipped a beat. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes so bright. I never even noticed the mud on your dress. All I saw was you. I saw this beautiful woman that had walked three miles to care for the sister she loved so much. All I could see or think of was the beauty of your heart. It may have been your very fine eyes that attracted my attention, but I assure you it was the beauty and strength of your heart that won my own. Never doubt that."
Elizabeth's eyes softened and she was reminded again that the true Mr. Darcy was nothing like the proud and disagreeable man she had despised so much. Holding his gaze, Elizabeth said, "I like this Mr. Darcy much more."
"This Mr. Darcy?"
When he finally pulled his hand from her cheek with a final caress of her cheek, Elizabeth explained, "I like this Mr. Darcy that speaks honestly and can admit he makes mistakes. I also like this Mr. Darcy that does his best to rectify them."
"I am glad I am beginning to please you." Hesitating a moment Mr. Darcy finally asked, "Did you truly mean it when you said you have hope for our future?"
Nodding, Elizabeth affirmed, "Indeed. The more we speak, the more I get to know you, the more I realize you have all the attributes I had been looking for in a husband."
"Truly?"
"Yes. I wanted a man that was honest, compassionate, loving, and willing to let me have my independence. I wanted a husband that would support me in my desire to learn. You have proven you do not wish to control me, and I believe you are an honorable man with a good heart. We simply must work on getting you to show that side of you more than the prideful part."
Offering her a soft smile, Darcy explained, "Would you believe me if I told you my aloof behavior has more to do with shyness than pride when in society?"
"Certainly not! Why would a man in your situation in life be shy?"
Shrugging, Darcy answered, "I cannot explain why I am shy, but I assure you that much of my desire not to converse with people I do not know is because I find myself ill equipped to recommend myself to people I am unfamiliar with. I find I have not the talent to converse with ease as others do."
"And so you simply stalk about the room ignoring everyone hoping they will leave you alone?"
"Foolish, isn't it?"
Elizabeth was silent a moment before letting out a tinkling laugh as she teased, "Well I assure you Mr. Darcy that your days of sulking in corners is over. I love society and I refuse to let my husband chase off any potential friends. Prepare yourself to be well versed in socializing."
"I look forward to it. I think you shall be an excellent teacher."
They shared a smile and Elizabeth was about to bring up the topic of her family, considering her mother's behavior and that of her sisters she felt it important to make clear to her fiancé that she had no intention of shunning their company no matter how embarrassing they were, but before she could her aunt and Jane returned and quickly retook their seats a few moments before her uncle lead Mr. Bingley back into the sitting room.
"So sorry for the delay, but Mr. Bingley and I started discussing a few business matters and before we knew it the time had simply run away from us!"
Elizabeth smile a true smile at her uncle, wanting to show him without words that the time alone he had afforded her with her intended had been most helpful, and assured, "It is no bother."
Not paying much attention to anyone else in the room Mr. Bingley quickly made his way to where Jane was seated and greeted, "Miss Bennet, I was wondering if you and your family would like to dine with us sometime this week?"
Finally raising her eyes to meet Mr. Bingley's, Jane replied, "I am afraid my sister and I will be very busy preparing her wedding trousseau and my aunt and uncle have a busy schedule I do believe."
Mr. Bingley's hopeful expression immediately fell and he tried again, "Perhaps next week? I understand you shall be in town for a few months until the wedding, yes?"
Before Jane could reply, Mrs. Gardiner offered, "As Jane said our engagements for the week are quite set, but I am sure we can arrange something for next week."
Madeline may not know the particulars of what transpired between her eldest niece and Mr. Bingley when he had resided at Netherfield, but she could tell Jane was deeply affected by him. She would need to see the two of them more in company before deciding if she should help Jane to avoid him or to push the two of them together more.
"Excellent!" Mr. Bingley gave Mrs. Gardiner a dazzling smile before focusing on Jane and saying, "I am so looking forward to spending the evening in such delightful company. I had never had such a marvelous time as I did in Hertfordshire."
Eyes hardening a bit, Jane commented softly, "And yet you left so suddenly and with little word to anyone you profess to have taken such pleasure in spending time with."
The room went silent at Jane's declaration and Mr. Bingley's smile fell completely. No one was quite sure what to say, but Mr. Darcy saved them all from the uncomfortable silence by standing and bowing to Elizabeth and his hosts as he announced, "Forgive me, but Bingley and I really must be going. I have several appointments today I must keep. I look forward to seeing you all this evening when you join us at Darcy House."
Focusing on Elizabeth, Darcy added, "My sister is most interested in meeting you, and my cousin will be joining us as well."
"I am very much looking forward to meeting Georgiana, and I did so enjoy Colonel Fitzwilliam's company in Kent. We shall see you tonight."
The proper goodbyes were made and once the gentlemen had gone Jane rose and excused herself from the room quickly with Elizabeth hurrying after her. Once the girls were gone Mr. Gardiner said to his wife, "It seems as though one problem is sorting itself out while another is in the making."
"Indeed. I know some of what transpired between Jane and Mr. Bingley from your sister's letters, but obviously there is much more to learn."
"Agreed. I know very little of Charles Bingley, but he seems an amiable sort of man. His father was well like and respect, but his son has done his best to distance himself from trade."
"Which is understandable," Madeline offered. "It is what we hope for our children, but for Jane to have behaved in such a way he must have done something to hurt her deeply."
Nodding his head, Edward suggested, "I shall make inquiries about him and perhaps you can speak to the girls and find out more. If Jane truly does not wish to be in his company I shall have to speak to Mr. Darcy."
Madeline patted her husband's hand and agreed, "I will give them some time to speak together, and I will try to speak to them tonight after dinner. Something tells me Mr. Bingley will be there when we dine with Darcy's. I wish to see Jane interact more with this Bingley fellow first."
"An excellent idea."
…
…
…
Outside Bingley said little to Darcy until both of their horses had been brought around and they were on their way. Once they were far enough from the house Bingley turned to his friend and practically hissed, "I shall be there tonight, and you had best hope I can make this right! Or I swear I shall call you out!"
Before Darcy had a chance to reply Bingley had spurred his horse onward and he disappeared into the London traffic. Darcy searched the crowd for him for a moment before muttering, "Damnation! How could I have mucked this all up!"
He continued on his ride thinking over the morning's events and while he was very worried about the situation between his friend and Elizabeth's sister, he couldn't help but be joyous over his conversation with his fiancée. She had alleviated so many of his fears. He had shown her he could be more than she thought he was, and no he simply had to keep proving himself to her. He was more determined than ever to win her heart. He must simply find a way to do it while at the same time helping his friend heal the breech with Jane. Perhaps he should ask his sister for some advice?
Feeling ever more hopeful Darcy spurred his own horse forward. He needed to meet with the jeweler and finalize the order for Elizabeth's wedding ring and the jewels he wished to gift her with during their engagement. Not to mention he was ordering many of the Darcy family jewels to be reset. His mother favored large and ostentatious pieces, but he knew Elizabeth would like more delicate jewelry.
He couldn't help but smile at the thought of gifting Elizabeth with the pearl and sapphire set his jeweler had promised would be ready for tonight. He knew they would look stunning on her, and he couldn't wait to see her wearing jewels that had once belonged to his mother. He could imagine giving them to no other woman for Elizabeth Bennet was born to be Elizabeth Darcy.
