A/N Thank-you for all the reviews, follows and favs for this story. This little Caskett family I have created (with the help of AWM of course) is very special to me so I'm glad that you guys enjoy their stories as well. I hope that this chapter is a little lighter after the last one.
Chapter 7
He's not sure how he made it downtown to the 12th precinct. He knows his mother came with him, that she had managed to hail a taxi even in the peak hour New York traffic. He had been too impatient to wait for the car Ben was sending and too distraught to order a town car. He needed to get there now.
They left Alexis at the loft with the kids. He couldn't even make up a story to tell them as to why he was leaving so he just allowed his eldest to make something up. He just needed to go.
He can see the orange glow in the night sky before they're halfway done the block, his chest tightens and he struggles to breathe, his breath coming out in short pants. She should have been safe, she had been at the frigging precinct. How can you not be safe inside a building packed full of cops. He feels his mother grab has hand and crush his fingers as he struggles to gain control.
"Katherine is a strong woman, Richard. She will survive this." Martha pats their fisted hands, hoping that her words won't be proven to be lies.
"How could this have happened? She was supposed to be safe." Richard chants absentmindly, not really answering her question as he peers out the window his gaze fixed on the orange glow down the street.
They pull to a stop, their way blocked by crowds of people milling about. In the distance he can see the flashing lights of the rescue vehicles but they are still so far away. Castle tosses some money at the taxi driver as he jumps from the cab. He pushes through the crowd, his panic rising as he finds it harder and harder to slide through the dense crowd that has gathered to watch. He finally reaches the barricade that has been erected and gets a proper look at the devastation in front of him.
His knees shake and he can taste the bile in the back of his throat as he barely recognises the building that he has spent almost every day in for the last sixteen years. The grey facade has crumbled into a pile of rubble under the force of the explosion. The roof is gone in most places, collapsed in on what remains of the floors below. The west side of the building is well alight creating the orange glow in the sky that could be seen for miles around. There were fire trucks, patrol cars, ambulances and rescue vehicles scattered across the empty street between him and the 12th precinct, their flashing lights causing the surrounding buildings to be lit up like a Christmas tree. Castle shudders as a chill runs up his spine. How does someone walk away from such utter devastation? They don't. The little internal voice whispers the fear he is yet to voice out loud.
Castle climbs under the wooden barricade, needing to be closer. A large shadow falls over him and a restraining hand clamps down on his shoulder even before he is fully upright on the other side. He gazes up at the uniform blocking his way, his large frame obscuring his view of the building.
"No civilians past the barricades, sir"
"My wife, she's a detective with the 12th. She's inside." He stammers, trying to shrug the restraining hand from his shoulder.
"I'm sorry sir. But I still can't let you pass." The uniformed officer steps closer, forcing Castle to retreat back against the wooden barricade. The man reaches behind Castle and lifts it out of the way indicating for Castle to step back behind it.
"But I need to be down there. My wife is inside that building. I'm her partner." Castle yells, trying to side step around the officer.
"You need to stay behind the barricade. I'm sorry but it's too dangerous to let civilians into the area." Regret spreads across the young man's face but he doesn't move to allow Castle through. "What's her name?" He asks suddenly.
"Er…It's Kate. Detective Lieutenant Katherine Beckett. Homicide division."
"I'll ask around, see if anyone has heard anything. But you need to stay here behind this barricade. I will arrest you if you step back over to this side." He turns to leave after erecting the barricade In front of Castle again.
"Officer.." Castle calls out to his retreating back.
"It's Officer Perez, 9th division." The man says as he turns back around.
"Officer Perez, my wife's partners, Detective Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan were inside as well. Can you ask about them too?"
"I'll ask."
Castle paces back and forth in front of the barricade, earning angry glances and muttered curses as he pushes past people. He needs to get down there but he doesn't recognise any of the police officers walking around. He can't see anyone from the 12th which causes more dread to unfurl in his stomach and blaze to life.
'Richard, darling. Katherine?" He looks up as Martha approaches him.
"I don't know. They won't allow me past the barricades."
"Seriously, when have you ever let that stop you before?" She's right, he's made a career out of pushing the boundaries and sticking his nose in where it wasn't always appreciated, so why now when it matter most was he passively standing back.
"You're right Mother" he bends down to kiss her cheek as he pulls his phone from his pocket and states making calls. Martha watches as he continues to pace back and force, ignorant of the angry glares from the others around him, but this time he has sense of purpose as he makes call after call.
Martha turns back to the scene in front of her, gasping at the chaos in front of her. She watches as a young police officer approaches the barricades, his gaze searching the crowd for someone.
"Mr Castle" he calls
"Richard?" Martha turns towards her son, his phone still up to his ear as he talks rapidly, his free hand running a path through his thick brown hair.
"Officer Perez" Castle hangs up mid-sentence and slides back over to the barricade.
"Apparently you have contacts in high places, Mr Castle. My captain got a call from 1PP, apparently we are to provide you access to the recovery effort and I am to be your personal escort." Castle heard the derision in the police officer's voice, none too pleased to be relegated to babysitter.
"Mother?"
"It's alright Richard, I'll stay here. Come let me know if you hear anything?'
"I will" Castle slid under the wooden barricade, too eager to wait for it to be moved aside. Neither speak as they head down the street, Castle too preoccupied as he searches the faces around him for a familiar face, Officer Perez still bristling with indignation at the change in his orders.
'This way, sir" he is directed past the patrol cars and emergency vehicles to a marquee that has been set up a safe distance from the building. It's warmer here and the air is full of grit and smoke as it curls around him. He is reminded of the day Beckett and he stood outside another burning building whilst the boys were trapped inside. Today he feels even more useless than he had then. Today Beckett was also trapped.
"Rick" He tears his eyes away from the burning building as his name is called. Turning he recognises the Police Commissioner standing under the marquee with another man and woman. His tuxedo at odds with his surroundings.
"Rob." He reaches out to clasp his hand. "Is there any survivors?"
"So far we have 52 survivors. I'm sorry Rick, Kate's not amongst them but we haven't been able to reach the top floors yet." He pulled Rick over towards the others under the marquee. "Rick, meet Captain Ian Donovan from the 9th and Chief Teri Arnold, FEMA Urban Search and Rescue. This is Rick Castle, his wife is one of our best homicide detectives at the 12th"
He watches as Donovan and Arnold nod in acknowledgement but neither's gaze quite meets his eyes as he reads the sympathy in them.
"Chief Arnold has a team scaling up the east stairwell to access the 3rd and 4th floors as we speak. We should have news about Kate soon."
Castle wanders away as they start discussing the logistics of the rescue and recovery process, he's not sure he can cope if they start talking about body recovery. His imagination is too vivid to allow him to go there. So he wanders away, walking aimlessly through the uniformed personnel gathered around him. They all stride up and down the street with a purpose as they yell out orders to each other, like a coordinated ant hill, their sole purpose to find survivors. Walking around the back end of an ambulance he sees a familiar face, covered in soot with a river of blood running down his face as he grimaces in pain at the attentions of the paramedic attempting to stem the flow of blood from a large laceration on his thigh.
"Tom! Demming!" Castle yells as he races towards the stretcher.
"Castle." He startles, a look of dawning understanding washing across his face. He looks up at the remnants of the upper floors lying under the collapsed roof. "She's up there?" Pity leaks into his brown eyes.
"Yeah, Ryan and Espo too. Have you see anyone from homicide come out?" Castle's gaze shifts back to the rescue crews moving back and forth from the burning building, unable to handle the pity in the other man's eyes.
"No but Castle its utter chaos in there. I haven't been able to locate half my team and we were in the same room." He doesn't have the heart to tell the writer that he had seen parts of the top floors collapse down on them just after the explosion. He figures he'll find out soon enough anyway.
"She's tough. One of the toughest detectives I know. Male or female. If anyone is going to make it of this mess alive its Beckett."
"She is. She's tough, fierce, determined and stubborn. But she's also pregnant" Castle wipes the perspiration from his forehead as he breaks out in a cold sweat. Being here so close to the building has dimmed his hopes that any of them will make it our alive. Demming is right. It is absolute chaos and he's surprised so many have walked away as there has been.
"I'd heard you guys married. Your first?"
"Fourth" He smiles briefly at the shock on the other detective's face. Yeah, it still surprised Kate and him that they had ended up with that many too.
"Wow. Four. Huh, wouldn't have guessed Kate for the maternal type."
"She's an amazing mother."
"Gentleman, I really need to get this man into the ambulance now." The paramedic releases the brakes on the stretcher as she lifts the back wheels to slide it through the open doors.
"Rick." Tom calls out to the writer as he starts to turn away. The lost look in his eyes intensifies as he glances again at the ruined building. "She's strong Rick. She'll make it out."
Rick looks back at the detective as the doors of the ambulance close on his final words. "I hope you're right" He whispers as he wanders off to find others to talk to. He figures that someone must have seen Kate or the boys before the bomb. Someone must know where they are. He doesn't even know if they are on the 4th floor. His only clue is the text Kate sent him to say that she was just finishing up paperwork and she was leaving soon but that had been sent 45 minutes before the bomb.
Rick wanders through the rescuers and survivors alike for the next few hours, he asks endless questions about Kate, the boys, Gates but no one seems to have seen anyone from the upper floors. All the survivors that they have pulled out so far are from the 1st and 2nd floors. Even now the flow of survivors has slowed down to a trickle. He has avoided texting his mother or Alexis, because he doesn't know what he would say. He has nothing to tell them because he still knows nothing. His mother sent him a text hours ago to say that she had located Jenny Ryan in the crowd and that they were waiting together. He hadn't replied to her. Not sure he had the strength to deal with Jenny's fears on top of his own. The only person he has texted is Ben and he hasn't responded. Castle's not sure if he's glad because it means Ben is still searching or scared that it means Ben is avoiding his calls because he doesn't have the courage to tell him she's not going to make it out. So he wanders up and down the street asking his questions. Every few minutes he would pause, pull out his phone and call up her number. Pressing the call button he would wait as it rung once, twice, hoping that this time she would answer. His heart would crack further as her voice mail message would fill his ear.
"Hi, you've reached Katherine Beckett. I can't come to the phone right now so leave a message after the beep. If this is Castle and you're not with me then hang up now cos you should be writing not calling me!" Despite the desperation of their current circumstances it still makes him smile. She has always known him too well.
"Castle" He hears her yell his name, anger clear in her tone. Spinning he sees her striding across the street, her pink scrubs covered by a beige coat that flaps as she runs. Shit, he forgot to call Lanie. He thinks he probably should have remembered to do that but really he hasn't been thinking straight since Ben called.
"Lanie" He winces as she punches his shoulder. For a small woman, she packs a punch.
"Rick. How could you not call me? I had to hear it from Perlmutter when he called me in to assist as he's swamped." He sees the tears in her eyes and the hurt resonating in her voice.
"Awww, Lanie I'm so sorry." He tugs her into his arms, ashamed that he hasn't bothered to call either Lanie or Jenny. He feels the anger seep from her muscles as she sobs into his chest. "I should have called."
"Yes" she mumbles into his shirt, he can feel the damp of her tears seeping through the material.
"I'm an idiot" He whispers.
"Yes" she continues to sob.
"You can punch me again" He offers.
"Are they alive?" She whispers into his shirt.
"I don't know Lanie. No one has seen them."
"I asked Perlmutter. They're not there. They're not at the morgue." He shudders as her quiet words allow some hope to seep back into his heart.
"God, god" His legs shake and he finds himself being supported by the small woman in his arms as the relief grips him. He hadn't been able to get any answers about the dead from the rescue teams and he had been avoiding calling the morgue because if he didn't then no one could steal that last bit of hope he was holding onto. It was stupid and so unlike his usual need to have the answers but he found when it came to Kate and his baby he would take hope anyway that he could.
They stand like that for minutes, oblivious to the hustle and bustle around them as the rescue operation continues. Providing solace to each other in this maddening chaos they have found themselves thrust into.
"It's been forty-seven minutes" He breaks the silence to whisper those terrible words.
"What?"
"It's been forty-seven minutes since they brought out the last survivor. Since then it's just been bodies." His voice wavers over that last word, it sticks in his throat refusing to be uttered. "It's almost midnight now"
"It doesn't mean that there isn't still survivors in there" Lanie argues.
"No but the probability isn't on their side."
"Stuff probability, Castle. When have those guys ever been swayed by probability. God, you and Kate wouldn't be together now if she believed in probability. After four years circling each other, it was highly improbable that you guys would ever get it together but here you are. So stuff probabilities."
"She once said to me that we didn't make sense on paper. She was concerned that we wouldn't make it because we were from different worlds. I told her that we didn't live our lives on paper so it didn't matter that we didn't make sense. So no I don't believe in probabilities any more than she does."
"Good. So what are they doing to get them out of there." He explained the current rescue operation. Explaining that two FEMA teams were heading up the rescue with NYFD and NYPD personnel providing additional men on the ground. "Access to the upper floors has been hindered by the roof collapse and the fire in the west wing. Apparently the structure is too unstable to mount a direct approach, so there is a FEMA team attempting to scale the eastern stairwell. But it's been hours and they still haven't reached the top floors. They are just finishing the second floor now. Apparently a whole section of the third floor appears to have collapsed down into the second and its hampering the rescue effort on that floor. One of the men they pulled out seemed to think that the collapse involved the fourth floor as well but he didn't have a clear view."
"Rick, no!" Lanie cries, covering her mouth as the full horror washes over her. Her eyes wide with terror as she tries not to think of probabilities.
"Rick!" Castle hears his name being called from a distance but spinning in circles he can't find the source. "Rick!"
He turns towards the eastern side of the building and sees one of the FEMA Urban Search and Rescue team members break away from the others as they exited the stairwell to run towards him. He watches as his son-in-law removes his helmet and tosses it to one of his colleagues as he races by. His normally brown shaggy hair slicked back with perspiration.
He catches Ben up in a hug as the younger man reaches him, pounding him on his back in what he hopes is a manly fashion because all he really wants to do is hug him tight and cry.
"Rick we found Javier." He pulls back to see the grin on Ben's soot covered face. His blue eyes standing out in stark contrast to the black of his face. Castle feels his mouth turn up in a matching grin.
"Where is he?" Castle asks as he looks past Ben to the stairwell he had just exited from.
"He's pretty messed up. The paramedics and the rest of my team are still working on him but he should be out soon. His legs are trapped under a roof beam. He's lost a fair amount of blood from the leg and pelvic fractures but his vitals were good when I left him."
Castle turns to look at Lanie when he hears her gasp. Tears are tracking slowly down her cheeks. Kate has always said that she thought Lanie cared for Espo beyond the friendship level but she couldn't work out why neither of them was willing to admit it. She had learnt to hold her tongue about it around her best friend because she always denied it so vehemently and on more than one occasion had stormed off when Kate pushed her. Five years ago they had all watched as Lanie married someone else and Esposito had almost cleared out the bar at the old Haunt in one weekend. But since her divorce three years ago, Kate had often remarked that they appeared to be growing closer again. Looking at Lanie now, Castle surmised that maybe they were a far bit closer than even Kate had guessed. It seemed like maybe Esposito was better at keeping secrets that he had thought.
"Did he see Kate?" Castle grabbed Ben by the shoulders.
"He's really out of it Rick, what with the blood loss, and I raced out as soon as I saw who it was to tell you. I'm going back in now with some more equipment to help shift that beam but I just wanted you guys to know. She wasn't with Javi. He's the last one on that floor. We're moving to the upper floors now. I'll find her Rick, I promise." He is pulled into another bone jarring hug by the slimmer man.
"Thanks Ben" He hugs him back before reluctantly letting him go. Silently he watches as Ben races back to his rescue vehicle to get the expert equipment he needs. Castle lets out a shuddering breath, relief at Javier's rescue tinged with grief that Kate was still missing. It had been almost six hours now since the explosion and Javier was the only survivor found in the last hour. He shook his head to clear the doubts swarming through his mind.
"Castle" He smiles down at Lanie as she chokes out his name through her tears. He reaches over to grasp her hand and pull her in to his side as they both continue to stare at the east stairwell.
"I know, Lanie." Because he also feels the resurgence of hope that Ben has brought with him.
They stand like that watching for more movement at the entrance to the stairwell that might signal more good news. They hear the loud cheers and clapping even before they see the soot covered rescuers carry Esposito through the narrow doorway. Running forward they are caught up in the crowd that has surged forward with them. Castle pulls Lanie through the crowd until they stagger clear. He lets go of her hand as she rushes towards the still figure on the stretcher. He hears her sobs and cries as she bends down to take his face tenderly in hers, careful not to dislodge his oxygen mask. Her cries are soon drowned out by the cheers of the rescuers around him as the first member of the homicide division is brought out. He isn't above admitting it himself that the tears running down his face might not be solely due to the acrid smoke in the air.
Ben's arms close around him and he is spun so quickly he thinks he's going to be sea sick, but the ear-splitting grin on Ben's face makes everything else fade quickly away.
"We found Kate. We found them Rick." Not for the first time since this nightmare started, Castle is speechless but looking at the joy on the face of his son-in-law he has to believe that he means he found them alive.
"Alive?' He chokes out.
"Yes alive. I didn't speak to Kate but Kevin says she's ok. Got a bump to her head but she's alive." Ben leads him away from the crowd, having noticed the photographers that had popped up to record the rescue effort. He lowers his voice as he explains the news to Castle. "She had the baby Rick."
His heart clenches at this news as it starts to race. All the facts he had been telling Kate about premature births last night started to race through his mind but then he realised that they didn't really apply here because those statistics applied to in-hospital births not ones in bombed out buildings. His face loses color as beads of sweat burst out across his forehead, he feels like he is about to be sick as nausea swirls in his stomach.
"Rick! Rick, they're both ok. Ryan says they're both ok. Kate and the baby" Castle feels his legs give way underneath him as he falls to the ground, his head in his hands. He can't help the pent up sobs that escape as a wave of relief washes over him. She's safe. They're both safe. He feels Ben's hand grip his shoulder in comfort but he is too exhausted to acknowledge it as he continues to sob.
"Ben? Castle?" He hears the concern in Lanie's voice but he can't move. It isn't til her small body collides with his that he is stirred into motion. Grabbing her up in a hug he spins her around, a deep rumbling laugh escaping his chest, even as the tears continue to spill down his cheeks and Lanie starts to smile at the joy radiating from him.
"We still have to get them out" Ben starts to explain the details of the next stage of the rescue as Castle and Lanie stop spinning. Once Ben leaves them again to coordinate the last minute details with his crew, Castle and Lanie help load Espo into the waiting ambulance. Castle refuses to let Lanie stay behind with him, he tells her that Javi needs a friendly face with him and he promises to call as soon as there is any news.
Things happen so quickly from that moment, that Castle still feel like he is spinning forty minutes later when he sees Ben lead the procession out of the east stairwell a small bundle in his arms. The cheers are deafening as they bring out first Ryan, then Kate. Jenny is by his side as they sprint towards the detectives. Castle only has eyes for his wife, she looks so small strapped into the portable stretcher, an oxygen mask sits over her face. As they lower her stretcher to the ground he slides down beside her. Her eyes are closed and there is blood mattered in her hair and streaked across her forehead, dirt and soot have formed a thin layer over her skin but to him she is the most beautiful person he has ever seen. He gently links his fingers through hers as he leans forward to lift the oxygen mask to allow him to place a soft kiss to her lips before he drops it back into place.
"Castle" Her voice is gravelly, like she has a cold. She turns her head towards him and groans as a pain shoots through her head but it's not enough to prevent the soft smile that forms on her lips as she sees him.
'Don't move Kate." He whispers as he gently tucks her hair behind her ear before tracing his finger down her soot coated cheek, leaving a trail in its wake.
"No, babe. The baby" She whispers hoarsely, her head twisting around as she tries to locate her daughter, the vein on her forehead popping out when she doesn't immediately see her.
"She's here, Kate" Castle looks up to see Ben crouching down on the other side of Kate's stretcher, a small purple colored bundle held tightly in his arms. Castle reaches across to take the tiny baby from his son-in-law.
"She's ok?" He asks, his voice breaking as he is yet again reminded of all he could have lost tonight.
"The paramedics have checked her over and they want her to go to the hospital to be checked over by the neonatologist given her prematurity and to check for any signs of smoke inhalation but for now they are happy she is ok" Ben reassures them as he places the tiny baby in her father's large hands. The baby looks even smaller now that she is in Castle hands. He feels her squirm and let at a soft squeal at the sudden movement.
Castle places her on Kate's chest so that they can both see their daughter. He slowly unwraps the purple cloth to reveal her soft pink rosebud lips and clear blue eyes staring right back at him. With a gasp he catches a glimpse of the downy red hair poking out from under a corner of the cloth and he squeals excitedly before turning to look into his wife's smiling hazel eyes. Kate laughs as she lifts the oxygen mask off her face with her free hand.
"Yep, another redhead female to torment you" her laugh is cut off as Castle places a kiss to her lips, he deepens the kiss even as he breathes in her unique scent. It's overwhelming and exciting and beautiful all at the same time. He feels the baby wiggle under the hand he has placed on her little back to hold her in place. Breaking off the kiss that has left them both a little breathless, he whispers softly into Kate's ear.
"Thank-you" too overwhelmed to express the words that are tumbling through his mind so he settles with something simple and classic. For now anyway.
Turning back to his daughter, he is amazed at how alert she is as her blue eyes make eye contact with his for a split second before they squeeze shut as her little rosebud mouth opens in a deep yawn. He reaches out and touches the soft smooth skin of her cheek and she turns her head towards his finger, rooting with her mouth. Her little starfish hands coming out to wave in the air as she squeals with indignation when she fails to capture his finger. He knows that it's really just a primitive involuntary reflex of all newborns but his heart blooms as he falls in love with his daughter.
"She's just like you" Kate laughs softly into his neck where she has managed to tuck her head against his shoulder, he can feel her soft breath tickle the sensitive skin of his neck as she laughs. "All she wants to do is sleep and eat just like you"
He looks from his daughter's clear blue eyes to his wife's hazel eyes and realises that tonight he has so very much to be thankful for.
"Nuh uh. I think she's more like you." He whispers as he presses another kiss to her soft lips. "She's extraordinary"
