VII.

As Remus grew up, he learned to cope. Never did he complain about anything, and he always tried to help everybody in any way he could.

His teachers grew concerned about his constant ill health and the gashes and scars that could not always be covered up, but he always wrote them away as something unimportant. Though his teachers worried about him, they did not pry, as it did not seem like he wanted to talk about it.

He became a social recluse during his time at primary school, opting to sit alone and not make any friends. Despite his teachers' urging to open up to his classmates, he refused, saying that he did not want friends.

Dumbledore became Headmaster in December of Greta's fifth year after Professor Dippet died suddenly after being ill all term. Professor McGonagall became the new Deputy Headmaster.

Meanwhile, at home, Remus was becoming even more of a recluse. Usually the only time he carried on a conversation with anybody was when he was speaking to his immediate family. Greta was the most annoyed out of all of them, and constantly tried to get Remus to open up.

"Remus John Lupin!"

"What?" an eleven-year-old Remus looked up from his book. The only thing Remus seemed to enjoy was reading, and he constantly clamored for more books.

"What has been wrong with you for the past five years?"

He glared at her. "You know bloody well what—"

"Remus, you know not to use that language in this house!" Their mother came in with a large bar of chocolate. "Here, eat this," she instructed her son, "I've always found that chocolate helps to dull pain." Remus gave her a strained smile. The full moon had been two days before and he was still trying to recuperate after a particularly nasty night.

"When you feel up to it, your father has something for you downstairs. He thinks he may have found something to help." Remus smiled at her again, and she left his room after making sure he was all right. After the door closed behind her, however, Remus sighed and turned to his sister.

"How many 'experiments' are they going to go through before they realize there's never going to be a cure?"

Greta scowled at him. "It sounds like you want to be a werewolf!"

He bristled. "How could I want to rip myself to shreds every month and want to give up my mind to that monster?"

She seemed to shrink under his glare. "Well, it sounded like you've resigned yourself to being one, is all…"

"And why shouldn't I? I don't want to say anything to Mum or Dad—they're trying so hard to find a cure—but most of the stuff they're giving me is doing more harm than anything."

"And how is that?"

"Some of them don't do anything at all, which I don't mind. But some of them make it worse, and I hurt myself more than usual. And the last one we tried—" he shuddered, "—I didn't tell Mum or Dad, but it didn't make me black out at all—"

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Greta asked, confused.

"—but I still didn't have control. I had to watch myself beat me up all night."

Greta's eyes widened and she embraced him in a gentle hug. "If you tell Mum and Dad that you want them to stop looking, I'm sure they will…"

"But they seem so desperate to cure me," Remus said. "They're acting like it's their fault—"

"That's exactly what they think," she interrupted. "Dad especially—they blame themselves for what happened to you."

"How is it their fault?"

"I'm not entirely sure," she lied. She did know, in fact, but her parents had forbidden her from telling Remus. They thought that he would not be able to cope with the truth, and she agreed with them…for the time being at least. "I think it has something to do with their letting you go outside that night—"

"I was the one that decided to go into the forest!"

"Well, they still blame themselves, and I doubt that anything you say will put their consciences at ease."

"I'm going to ask them to stop spending so much money trying to find a cure," Remus said decisively. "It just makes life tougher for all of us, and I'm not worth that—"

"Remus John, you know that you're worth all the gold in the world!" Greta said sternly, "And you had better not ever think otherwise!"

"No I'm—"

"What is it with you and your inferiority complex?" Greta said loudly over his response. "Remus, you are just as great of a person as you were five years ago, and nothing will ever change that!"

He just shrugged and didn't reply. Greta sighed and stood up. "Just yell for us if you need anything, all right?" He didn't reply, and Greta left his room, shutting the door behind her and walking to the kitchen.

"How is he doing?" her father asked. She shook her head.

"He's got a major inferiority complex that he needs to work out. I don't know what to do with him; he seems to think that he's not worth all the money we're putting into finding a cure."

"But of course he is!" Ian said. "Doesn't he realize that we still love him?"

"I'm not sure if he does," Greta said sadly. "He has no self-esteem whatsoever."

"Well, we'll have to work on that. I've just sent a letter to Dumbledore asking if Remus can go to Hogwarts. It's not very likely, but it's worth a shot."

Greta raised her eyebrows. "Do you really think he'll let Remus go? I mean, he's a great man and all, but—"

"I know. That's why I'm not telling Remus. It'll break him if we get his hopes up only to have to crush them…"


Later that evening, Remus came downstairs, pale but resolute-looking. Before anyone else could say anything, he took a deep breath and said, "Mum, Dad, I don't want you to spend so much money trying to find a cure for me. I'm not worth it."

"Remus John Lupin, you are worth it!" Ian said loudly. "It is in no way your fault that you were attacked by that werewolf, and you should not blame yourself!"

"Just…don't waste any more money on that, please?" Remus pleaded with him. "There's so much more you could buy that's worth it…I'm sure Greta wouldn't mind some new school robes and she's wanted that Cleansweep for a while now…"

"Remus, I would wear second-hand robes for the rest of my life if it meant curing you," Greta said. "What's more important: saving you from a lifetime of pain or my getting new robes?"

"At least what you want might actually happen," Remus said bitterly, "Nobody's ever going to be able to cure lycanthropy."

"Remus, at least try this one," Alex asked him, "If this one doesn't work, we'll stop trying them unless there's one that's proven to work."

He considered the idea. "Fine."


The end of Greta's Easter holidays came quickly, and she reluctantly went back to Hogwarts, making her parents write the moment they got the results of the newest potion. Nearly a month later a letter arrived for her—

Greta—

The potion seems to have lessened the amount that he hurts himself, but it's been four days now and he still hasn't woken up. He's also shaking all the time, and we don't know why. If he doesn't wake up in the next three we're taking him to the hospital.

– Mum and Dad

The next day, as Greta opened her newspaper, the headline nearly made her choke on her pumpkin juice.

'Cure' for Lycanthropy Poisoned

In an apparently malevolent attempt to kill many of society's werewolves, Maximillian Nott put out a potion on the market, claiming that it helps lessen the pain of the werewolf transformation. According to family of the numerous anonymous werewolves that opted to test this new potion, it did seem that they had hurt themselves less than they normally did.

'When I unlocked the barn in the morning,' one mother recalled, 'my daughter seemed less bloody than she normally did. I didn't suspect anything until she hadn't woken up after three days; usually it doesn't take that long.'

It is unclear how Nott poisoned the 'antidote;' no traces of silver were found in a sample of it and neither were any commonly-known poisons.

Despite the threat to society that this man seems to pose, the Ministry has let Nott off with only a warning. This has angered many people for various reasons:

'This man is a threat to everyone, not just society's werewolves,' an anonymous Ministry worker said, 'By letting Nott off, the Minister has set him up to attack every man, woman and child in this country. Just because he hasn't yet doesn't mean he won't.'

Another Ministry worker took a different view: 'If you really think about it, the only werewolves that would be taking this potion would be the ones who don't want to hurt others and who don't want to transform every month. If this man must target one group of werewolves, he should target the ferals, who present a much bigger danger to society. And because of Minister Bagnold's obvious bias against the unfortunate people who have taken this potion, their numbers will likely skyrocket in the next few months.' …

Greta couldn't read any more of the article. That man tried to kill my brother! The article had not said whether the poison had actually killed those who took it or simply knocked them out, but she was determined to make sure Remus was okay. Standing up quickly and without saying a word to Amelia and Dorcas, she left the Hall and walked straight to the gargoyle leading to Professor Dumbledore's office. Just then, she realized that she didn't know how to get in.

"I need to see the Headmaster," she told the gargoyle. It did not move. "It's urgent," she added impatiently.

"No password, no entrance," it said in a gravelly voice. Greta growled.

"I need to ask him to use his fireplace to see if my brother is still alive or not—"

"You need to see the Headmaster as well, Miss Lupin?"

Greta spun around to be face-to-face with her Transfiguration professor. "Yes Professor, I read the article about Nott in the paper and my brother took that potion and I don't know if he's okay or if he's dead and I would really like to use Professor Dumbledore's fireplace to Floo my parents and see if he'll be all right—"

"Understandable," McGonagall said, her face softening in understanding. "Lemon drop," she added to the gargoyle. It sprung aside to reveal a familiar staircase. Greta ran up the steps and knocked briefly before barging in.

"Good morning, Miss Lupin. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Dumbledore asked, looking rather surprised at her entrance.

"I was wondering if you would let me Floo my parents because my little brother took that poisoned potion that was in the paper today and I don't know if he's all right and I would really like to know, if you wouldn't mind…" all of the words came out in a huge rush, and it took the Headmaster a moment to catch up. Finally he nodded and said,

"Take as much time as you need to; the Floo powder is in the jar on the mantle."

She thanked him quickly and ran to the fireplace, putting her head in as McGonagall finally appeared in the doorway. She yelled out her address and finally come to a stop looking out into the kitchen of her house. Nobody was there; she assumed they were upstairs with Remus. "Mum! Dad!" she roared at the top of her lungs. A pair of footsteps came down the stairs, and soon her father was squatting in front of the fireplace, huge purple bags under his bloodshot eyes.

"Is Remus all right? I read the article and—"

"He's alive, but he's having a rough time of it," he said quickly. "I've gone to St. Mungo's already, they have something that seems to be helping and we've been giving that to him…"

"Can I see him?"

He hesitated. "Will Professor Dumbledore allow…?"

"I'll ask him." She pulled her head out of the fire and turned to the professors across the office. "Would you let me go all the way through, sir?"

He hesitated only a moment before finally nodding. "Be sure you're back in a few minutes."

She nodded and, after a few seconds, was standing in her kitchen. Her father was there waiting for her, and the two of them walked up to Remus' bedroom.

He was paler than Greta had ever seen him, and occasionally a very violent electric shock seemed to go through his body. "Before he was shaking all the time," her mother said softly. "That antidote seems to have helped a little."

"So when should he wake up?"

"Nobody really is sure," her father said, "Seeing as the poison was only discovered yesterday, nobody knows exactly what it is. There's some people working on it, but all we really care about is that Remus will probably be okay."


A bit less than a week after the publication of the article, Greta received a letter from home that brightened her day considerably:

Greta,

I'm okay now. I didn't realize how long I'd been out until Mum gave me the week and a half's worth of homework from school I need to catch up on. That potion was really horrible…Mum and Dad promised to stop spending money looking for a cure, and I'm happy about it.

I can't wait for school to be out so Dad can start teaching me magic! It's not as good as going to Hogwarts…but I'll be okay. Plus, Dad promised to bring me to Diagon Alley as soon as school is out to buy me a wand!

Have fun with your O.W.L.s! Dad said they're horrible, but I'm sure you'll do fine.

Love,

Remus

Greta was torn between laughing and crying. Of course, she was glad that Remus was all right, but she felt bad that she was getting this wonderful education at Hogwarts while her completely competent brother had to be homeschooled!

"Greta, what is it?" Amelia asked curiously. Greta quickly shoved the letter into her pocket.

"It's from Remus, he's been sick for a while, but now he's better."

"He'll be starting here next year, right?" Dorcas asked. "Didn't he just turn eleven?"

Greta swallowed, but did not tell them the truth. "Yeah."


The next two months put all of the fifth and seventh years under enormous stress, but after their exams they were finally free. After a rather uneventful train ride home, Greta stepped away from the barrier and was immediately tackled by a brown-haired something.

"Hey Remus!" she said happily, hugging him back. "You feeling okay?"

"Yep. Plus I get to get my wand today!" His good mood so reminded Greta of the happy-go-lucky boy she remembered from five years ago that she couldn't help but grin too. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

After they got home, Remus immediately ran into the kitchen and to the fireplace. "C'mon, dad, please?"

Ian laughed. "It's nice to see you in such a good mood for a change, kiddo."

Remus scowled. "Let's just go!"

"Right away, your majesty," Greta joked, but walked over to the fireplace as well. "Are you going to be getting books and stuff too?"

"He's actually got most of them, either from you or from buying them before," Ian said, smiling. "He is quite the bookworm."

Remus scowled again. "C'mon, dad!"

Both parents laughed and walked over to the fireplace as well. "Who's first?"

Eventually all four of them were standing in the Leaky Cauldron. After politely refusing drinks from Tom, they walked back behind the pub. Remus was practically jumping with excitement by this time.

"I'm glad you're going back to the happy boy I used to know," Greta said, ruffling his hair. He just grinned at her.

They began walking up the street toward the wand shop. Ian constantly stopped at random stores, looking into windows and purposely irritating Remus.

"Dad!" he said after he stopped for the fifth time. He turned to his son innocently.

"What?"

"We're supposed to be buying my wand!"

"Oh yeah!" he said in mock remembrance. "Well, lead the way, Master Remus!"

He rolled his eyes but walked down a few stores and entered Ollivander's. A bell chimed somewhere in the depths of the shop. Remus waited impatiently for the old man to come out from between the racks. At long last, he appeared somewhere from the left side of the store.

"Welcome," he said, and then glanced at Greta.

"Miss Greta Lupin…13 inches, yew, dragon heartstring? Very good at charms?"

"Er…yes," she said, pulling out her wand in surprise. Remus was in awe.

"How'd you—"

"I remember every wand I've ever sold, young Mister Lupin," he smiled at him. "And Ian Lupin…9 and a half inches, cherry, unicorn hair, rather stiff…am I correct?"

"Yep."

"So, Mister Lupin, are you going to go to Hogwarts this September?" Ollivander asked kindly as he began browsing the shelves and the tape measure took measure of Remus on its own.

Remus flinched as if slapped. "No…dad's going to home school me."

"Oh, for whatever reason?" he asked in surprise. "Hogwarts provides an excellent education, you know."

"I don't think the school will let me go," he mumbled. Ollivander came out from behind his shelves, put the wand boxes he had picked on his desk, grabbed Remus' shoulders gently—he flinched—and said,

"You know that Albus Dumbledore is Headmaster now, yes?" Remus nodded, not looking at the old man. "If I know Albus, he will not deprive any child of an education if he or she wants it. He was a few years younger than me at school, and I never knew him to speak badly of anyone. There is no reason as to why you should not go to that school, despite anything you may think will prevent it." Remus finally looked into the wandmaker's eyes, and knew—somehow—that he understood.

"Now, try this one: holly, phoenix feather—eleven inches. Very whippy."

Remus took the wand from Ollivander and waved it a bit. Greta's hair disappeared completely, and she screamed in horror. Remus laughed weakly, Ian restored her hair with a flick of his wand, and Ollivander took the wand from Remus' hand. "No, I don't believe that's the right one for you," he chuckled. "Not to worry, we'll find your wand."

Remus tried a few more wands without success. "What if none of the wands want me?" he asked his father frantically. Nearly all of his good mood was gone by now.

Ian shook his head. "I went through at least fifteen wands before I found mine. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Ollivander came back, carrying a few more boxes. "Yes, I think this might…try this one, dogwood, phoenix feather, 13 inches. Excellent wand for jinxes. Go on!"

Remus' eyes widened at the name of the wood but took the wand. Suddenly a wonderful warmth spread through his fingers and to the rest of his body. Red and gold sparks shot out of the end, and Ollivander beamed at him.

"Yes, I do believe that this is the wand for you, Mister Remus Lupin. Congratulations! That is a rather powerful wand," he added as he rang it up. "I expect you'll go far in the world."

"But—"

"No, I'm sure you will, despite any barriers you may think are blocking your way," he winked down at him. "Now, off you go!"

Remus was very quiet on their way back to the Leaky Cauldron. "Knut for your thoughts," Greta offered as they stepped into the pub.

"It's just…do you think Ollivander was right? Will Dumbledore really let me into Hogwarts?" His eyes were so wide and hopeful that it broke Greta's heart.

"I don't know, to tell the truth. We'll just have to wait and see if a Hogwarts letter comes for you."