Author's Notes: Beta'd by LauratheChef.
"Goldi...licks?" Emma looked at Regina incredulously. "You granted a business permit with that name?"
"Dear, I cannot control the name of the businesses."
The blonde scoffed. "You just think it's clever."
"Perhaps."
"What is this place?" In an effort to make her blend in, they made the Evil Queen wear something particularly non-descript. Grey pants and a black turtle neck. This was complete with a big Audrey Hepburn glasses and her hair in a bun. "Why are there so many inebriated people? I can feel myself itching just being close to these commoners."
"We're in a strip club." Ruby added.
"A strip club?"
The wolf came closer and talked directly to her ear. "This is a place where women dance naked. I'll give you a show later if you're interested."
The Evil Queen moaned and leaned to her. "I am definitely interested in that. Come home with me?"
"Can't wait."
"Let's just come in before something happens between the two of you. Ruby, seriously?" Emma ushered them all in.
Ruby shrugged. "What? She's hot."
The first thing that assaulted them was the loud, thumping music. Then the smell of sweat and a barrage of cheap perfume. Came next were the naked bodies on top of counters lined with pink velvet. Some of the patrons glared at them and some hid their faces upon seeing the Mayor and the Sheriff. The Deputy not so much since she's been here a couple times. They saw an empty table and all sat down, still looking around.
"Why have we been here just now?" The Evil Queen was so impressed with what she was seeing.
Regina ignored that. "Nova, darling, can you please look around for the Seer?"
Nova had her head tucked down but had to force herself to look. She inventoried every single gyrating body in the place, checking their faces and hair. The last determining factor was her blue grey eyes but in this lighting, it was really difficult to tell. After everyone was accounted for, she shook her head to the Mayor.
"Alright. I'll go talk to the Manager. What name was she using in this land?"
"Sierra."
Emma chuckled. "A little on the nose."
Regina stood up and went to the back. A naked waitress approached them while she was gone. "Hey ya'll, what would you like?" The waitress stood next to the Evil Queen and played with her shoulder. Ruby almost growled.
"Nothing. We're looking for someone actually and I hope you can help us."
She transferred to Emma next. "For the Sheriff, anything."
"We're looking for..."
"Ladies and Gentleman, Sierra!" The lights came up and gorgeous red head came out. The music changed to a much more sensual one and she started moving her body to it, gripping the pole as she did. The waitress walked off when she noticed that they found out who they were looking for.
They all watched as the red head twisted and turned her body, tearing the already tiny pieces of clothing she had on. Her top cover up was slingshot to the audience and it left her with a bikini top. Her mini skirt was next and for this, she threw it to an eager costumer who's been waving at her.
"That's her?" Regina asked when she came back.
"Yup."
The beat dropped and she pulled the string of the garment, freeing ample sized breasts topped with peach nipples. The whole table collectively dropped their mouths as soon as they saw this. Her breasts jiggled as she moved with the music and wrapped her legs on the pole. She whipped her hair next and licked her lips slowly, making sure everyone saw it. Before the music ended, she picked the strings of her bikini bottom and tugged on it softly. It loosened and eventually dropped to the floor, sending the audience howling.
Nova was conservative, obviously, so she hid her eyes behind her hands. Regina and Emma was neutral about it while the Evil Queen and Ruby enjoyed the whole thing. A couple more moments and the music died and Sierra got off the stage.
"Well, that was certainly interesting." The Evil Queen noted. "I'm going to have these kind of establishments back home."
"Why would you do that when you have chamber maids that will get undressed on your comma-" Regina didn't finish her statement and coughed instead when she heard what she was saying. "Anyway, the manager said that we can go back and talk to her after her set. That was her last for the night. Let's go."
They all piled into a long black hallway and stopped before a room that had a plate with the words 'Dancers' etched into it. Regina was first and she opened the door. Light flooded her eyes and when she blinked open, she saw more naked bodies. Some winked at her, some checked her out.
"Maybe, maybe, well stay outside and you can fetch her?" Nova walked back out.
"I'm staying." EQ announced.
"Everybody else, out."
The twins approached the woman who was toweling the sweat off her body. The woman looked up at them and her eyes widened. "Madam Mayor?"
"Hello dear."
EQ pushed Regina back and held out her hand, a little too eagerly. "Hello, darling. You've got some nice... moves."
Sierra smiled proudly. "Thanks! Can I know your name?"
"Please ignore her. May we talk to you outside? Once you've put on clothes, of course."
"Am I in trouble?"
"No, no... we just want something from you." Sierra suggestively raised one eyebrow. "Not-! Not that, We'll explain, if you'll come with us. No one will touch you inappropriately or make you uncomfortable." She threw a thumb back at the Evil Queen. "I'll hold her down."
"She's hot. Honestly, I don't mind."
"Great. We'll wait outside?"
"Sure. I'll be right out."
Regina had to physically pull her twin to get out of the room. They went back to the table and got settled in. "Is anybody hungry? It's already about nine."
"I could eat." Emma answered. She ate before they left but of course Emma had some space left. She called a naked waitress and ordered the standard, burger and fries for her, chicken salad for Regina and the evil twin. Ruby ordered a burrito and Nova ordered a chicken burger.
Their food came the same time as Sierra who now dressed in an outfit not fitting of what she usually does. She was too covered up. Emma pulled out a seat for her and she gave everyone at the table a smile.
"Do you want anything, dear?"
"No, I'm fine. Thank you." She turned to her left and finally noticed Nova. "Oh hey, Nova. You're with them?" Nova only nodded, mouth full of food. "Okay, so what is this about?"
Regina swallowed before she started. "The Evil Queen was brought to this land a couple weeks ago. Now that the reason for it has already been fulfilled, we need to send her back. The only way we can do that is through a spell. One of the requisites of said spell is something you can give us."
Sierra nodded. "You know, I saw that coming."
Emma eyebrows furrowed. "Is that a seer joke? Did you actually see us coming?"
"Through the window of the dressing room but magically, no."
"Anyway, we just need your tear and the Evil Queen will be on her merry way." Regina pulled out a vial that shimmered in the low lighting. "It didn't not specify if it needed to be from a painful experience so maybe we can tickle you until you cry of laughter. Or you can cry naturally too, if you'd prefer. We will really appreciate the help, Sierra."
"Just a tear. That wouldn't be hard since I carry a blackness of heart." Sierra took a deep breath before she concentrated.
"That's really why you shouldn't smoke." Ruby shrugged.
EQ patted Ruby's hand. "Dear, heart, not lungs."
Sierra's lips trembled as she gathered all of the said darkness and she asked for the vial. She placed it right below her eye, just in time for the solidary droplet to land inside the container. The surrounding glass glowed and Regina quickly pushed the cork in to trap the power.
The Mayor was able to breathe in relief. The Evil Queen is finally going home and order can be restored again. The town currently has no villains so they can finally focus on rebuilding. She and Emma have been in and out of Storybrooke trying to battle the baddies, leaving the real problems in the town forgotten at the moment. The economy was weak and the school was a mess. The one good thing was that the crime rate from the actual residents were close to zero. Aside from all that, she can finally visit the idea of furthering things with Emma. Maybe they can even date properly. "That's it. Thank you for your help, Sierra."
"Sure, Mayor."
"Let's all go home them and prepare for tomorrow-"
"Let's get drunk." EQ suggested.
Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. She was starting to feel like the mother of a overly sexed, overly hyped up teenager. "No. We're all going home, we'll get to bed and-"
EQ wolf whistled one of the waitress. "Darling, a round of, Ruby what is it, Margarita!"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow so why not spend my last night here having fun? We don't have this back in our land, lest your forget."
Regina hissed. "I am not going to be around for this and you aren't either!"
"I am and you will. Everyone's going to notice that we look alike once I take off these glasses. Embarrassing you in this realm will be easy, maybe I'd even give dear Ruby a lap dance. So you will stay here and enjoy with me. Is that clear?"
"You evil bitch!"
Regina flew out of her seat but Emma got to her just in time and held her down. "Regina, babe, calm down. I'm here and we'll have a good time, okay? We owe her our relationship, let this be our payment." She rubbed her shoulder and gave a soft kiss to the cheek. "We're going to have the rest of our lives because of her."
It did the deed. "Well, when you put it that way." She turned her head and kissed Emma on the lips. "The kids are with Snow, do you want to maybe... when we get home?"
"As much as I want to, I would prefer to be our first time after an actual date. Not after a strip club.. That okay?"
"You're so sweet." Her hand on Emma's face, they kissed more firmly. Someone near them saw what was happening and hooted. This caused them to quickly break apart.
"Don't worry. They're all drunk, no one's going to tell."
"Hey love birds, if you're both done sucking each other faces, bottoms up." EQ pushed two margaritas to them and finished the one she was holding. She quickly followed it up with another one and was treating the fully filled Margarita glass like shots.
This worried Regina even though her body had a high tolerance from drinking potent drinks from back in her time. There's a high chance of something going wrong so she decided to skip on the Margaritas and probably-
"Wine?"
Emma handed her a glass of her favorite red and it turned Regina on immensely. She could've read her mind by how in tune the blonde was to her was something else. She took the glass and put it down on the table before throwing her arms around Emma and kissing her hard.
"See? She isn't even drunk yet. Just get a couple drinks in her and she'll practically hump our dear Sheriff. I should know, she's me." EQ and Ruby clicked their glasses and down the hatch went the alcohol. She picked up a fry and fed it to Ruby, who not only ate the fry but also pulled it into her mouth. An eager tongue licked the finger raw before it was given back to her.
"Or you can just hump me..." Ruby salaciously added.
"Trust me, dearest. I'll do more than that."
