Chapter Seven
Carlisle
We were becoming increasingly worried about Jasper who had changed since we left Forks. He had become morose at first driving Alice away with his coldness despite her efforts to connect with him. Eventually, she could take no more and asked me to talk to him. I wasn't sure he would listen to me but I promised to try. Unfortunately, as I had feared he wasn't interested in anything I had to say, I began to doubt he even understood the reason for his change of attitude.
Alice left choosing to stay with Carmen and Eleazar rather than stay and be ignored by her long time love. I did ask her if she had seen this change but she hadn't.
"It's funny Carlisle, Jasper asked me more or less the same question. He wanted to know what I saw in his future."
"And what did you tell him?"
"Nothing, I couldn't see anything in his future, it was dark and that scared me."
"How did he react to that?"
"He just shrugged as if it didn't matter."
"Do you think it might have something to do with Bella? The way we left Forks?"
She had shrugged her shoulders looking hurt and very vulnerable.
"Does it matter? I think we burned our bridges there, besides, I never saw anything before we went there or while we were there."
"True, but as you said yourself you couldn't see Bella's future or anyone connected to her."
"Promise me you won't give up on him Carlisle, you're stronger than me and he needs someone."
I had given her that promise but now I was about to break it. Jasper was becoming a danger to all those I loved and his behavior was becoming more erratic as was his temper. He had argued with almost everyone at one time or another since he and Alice joined the family but he had never been cruel, violent, or hurtful to Rosalie yet just yesterday he had come close to hitting her as he shouted horrible things when she tried to talk to him and I had seen the hurt in her eyes as eventually he and Emmett had almost come to blows. I could no longer stand by while he destroyed the family Esme and I had worked so hard to build.
Jasper
I was sick of being watched and criticized for everything I did. The whole family thought they were better than me, watching with smug expressions on their faces as I forced animal blood down my throat and asking why I was so angry and depressed. Did they really have no idea? Were they so wrapped up in themselves they didn't see what we had done sneaking away from Forks like mangy dogs? Where was their pride?
Of course, I couldn't explain the main reason I was feeling so frustrated and angry, they'd probably just laugh! The first time I had seen Bella I had thought she was the most beautiful creature I had ever encountered but she was Edward's girlfriend and I was involved with Alice. I know she felt something that day in the Phoenix hotel room but she ran straight back into Edward's arms when he appeared and I knew she would never be mine. Leaving Forks was hard, why would Edward turn his back on the girl he loved? He said it was to keep her safe and everyone else seemed happy enough with that explanation but not me. Bella was a girl who attracted danger and would be far better off with us around her, people who could keep her safe. Instead, he chose to creep away and we went with him. When he made us all promise to stay away from Bella and Forks I argued but was overridden by the rest of the family so they should understand why I was so angry with them, they refused to see sense, instead blindly following Edward's orders as if he were the head of the family.
I felt myself changing, I knew I was more impatient, less willing to listen to people when what they were talking was sheer crap. My temper began to flare up once more and I felt more like The Major than Jasper Hale. He wouldn't have allowed himself to be dictated to if he thought the orders were wrong. He wouldn't bow down to a set of stupid rules just to please an idiot, or in this case, several idiots, Carlisle who I had once thought so knowledgeable had turned out to be as stupid as his "son" and the others weren't much better.
I knew what Carlisle wanted when he asked me to join him in his study but I went along anyway followed by the eyes of everyone else in the room. I knew they all feared me now but there was a tinge of sorrow in the air too. Did they think I was going to beg to be allowed to stay? Was I going to fall to my knees and promise to be a good boy if they would allow me to stay? If they did then they were in for a big disappointment.
I didn't bother with the chair Carlisle indicated and smiled to feel his trepidation.
"Let me save you from all the bull shit you are about to spout. I'm going so you don't need to ask me to leave."
"Jasper, if only you would talk to someone I'm sure we could help you."
"Save your breath."
"Son please, this isn't you. You're better than this."
I shook my head smiling,
"Actually this is the real me. I'm sick of pretending otherwise and I'm sick and tired of following Edwards directions."
"You are becoming a danger to yourself and everyone around you son."
"I am not your son and this fake family you've built up is all smoke and mirrors, Carlisle. One of these days it will come crashing down around your ears, my only regret is that I won't be around to see it. Oh yes, by the way, don't give me any shit about living among the humans and fitting in, not after what you did to Bella and the people of Forks. A doctor wouldn't just walk out on patients who need him and a family that cared about someone wouldn't just drop them without a single word of explanation. You live in a glass house Carlisle and one day it's gonna shatter into a million pieces just remember that. You aren't God Almighty and this isn't a perfect life you have."
I didn't bother to wait for whatever crap he was going to try next I just opened the door and walked out slamming it shut behind me with enough force to split the wood and bend the brass hinges. I was out of here!
Carlisle
I hadn't thought I was going to get through to Jasper, I knew I'd lost him but I hadn't expected such hatred and rage from him. Esme would be heartbroken, she was worried he wouldn't be able to survive without our help and it wouldn't be easy for her to let go. The only person who would be celebrating was Edward. He and Jasper had never gotten along, I think envy was Edward's reason, he thought he was intellectually superior but he didn't have Jasper's charisma and fighting skills and was jealous as a result.
Personally, I felt a failure. I had never failed with any of the family but I had been unable to supply what Jasper needed most, a leader he could look up to. It was true that I allowed Edward's wants and needs to influence my decisions and Jasper was not the only one to see that or resent it but my first born was my Achilles heel although I had tried to distance myself. To an extent, I managed that, I would have lost Esme if I had been unable to but I had much further to go. Perhaps Jasper had given me a wake-up call but too late for him. I could only hope he would find peace with someone, somewhere in this world.
