ShadowedLight: Hey guys! We know it's been a long time since we updated, but Eternity has been hassled by Walker and I'm entering a writing contest. Therefore, we don't have much time to work on the new chapter. Sorry but we can't guarantee when the next one will be out, but we'll try our hardest for sometime next week. Anyway, to satiate the masses we've decided to release this special intermission chapter…Authors in Their Natural Environment! This is a real conversation, edited only for clarification. We had this talk shortly after thanksgiving, and it all started with a discussion about Lord of the Rings…
Eternity And A Half: ...now, why, precisely, are we here?
ShadowedLight: Eternity, you're Sam. Go make rabbit stew. Queen of the Harpies, you're Gollum. Now go act suspicious.
Sam: ...lol
ShadowedLight: Meanwhile I'll be Frodo and just sit here and sleep
Gollum: ...I love the fish in the pool
Frodo: zzz
*Eternity And A Half busies self making stew*
Gollum: Okay Sam, we're gonna gang up on the hobbitses...and take the precious. Then WE BE THE MASTER
*Frodo wakes up and sees that the stew's not ready*
Frodo: Faster eternity! FASTERZzzz
*Gollum turns away looking innocent*
Frodo: zzz
Sam: ...um, call me confused, but aren't I a hobbit?
*Frodo wakes up again*
Frodo: WHERE'S MY STEW?
Gollum:...nasty stew...you take all the flavor out of it!
Frodo: Lazy eternity! And yeah, and you do take all the flavor out of it! Bad cook!
Gollum: you can have it with your nasty chiiips *spits on eternity*
Frodo: Yeah! More chips with mine!
Eternity And A Half: Dammit...why am I always stuck being the fat sidekick everyone hates?
Queen of the Harpies: No, we all love you eternity
Frodo: Less talk more stew!
Gollum: Oui...less talk more PRECIOUS
Frodo: ...
Eternity And A Half: Less talk, more beating IMPATIENT PEOPLE OVER THE HEAD WITH COOKING SUPPLIES
Frodo: Care to run that by me again? Don't make me get all hobbit on you!
Gollum: ...Whatcha gonna do? Kick him with your feet?
Sam: lol. Those things HURT
Frodo: No, I'll put on the one ring and EAT ALL OF YOU!
Sam: ...that's the best you can think of?
Frodo: I'll put YOU into a stew! Do you hear??? Tis stew one way or the other!
Sam: Oh, stew this. *beats Frodo with raw fish*
Frodo: Hey! Don't be waving a fish around Gollum!
*Gollum makes a mad dash for THE ring*
Frodo: Gah! That's MY ring!
Gollum: mine! mine!
Frodo: MINE!
Queen Of The Harpies: MINE
*Frodo grabs fish from Eternity...*
Eternity And A Half: sigh...well, seeing as I'm nothing more than a useless plot device, I'll go amble off now.
*...and proceeds to whack eternity with it*
Eternity And A Half: *amble amble amble*
*Frodo kicks eternity with feet*
Eternity And A Half: OW…hey, I have hobbit feet too!
*Eternity And A Half kicks ShadowedLight back*
Lord Maldazzar: Dude, its called deodorant. Tis not expensive
*Smeagol sits back and snickers while eating some raw rabbit*
Queen of the Harpies: LORD MALDAZZAR!
Forgotten One #1: Hey guys!!
Eternity And A Half: ...O.o
Queen of the Harpies: Who are you again?
Forgotten One #2: How about a game of monopoly?
Eternity And A Half: Now you've got me all mixed up
ShadowedLight: No no no, it's simple. You're...Kel'Thuzad right now
Queen of the Harpies: And...I'm also the first female death knight
Lord Maldazzar: Tis not true! Don't believe a word she says!
Forgotten One #4: I call the doggy!
Eternity And A Half: ....this is very bizarre
Forgotten one #5: Eternity, wanna play?
*QotH sighs*
Queen of the Harpies: Deal me in with the iron
Forgotten One #1: HEY! There Are only 4 forgotten ones, how's there a forgotten one #5???
Eternity And A Half: AAH!! DEATH...I mean, I'll take the shoe
Queen of the Harpies: Somebody just kill him already...if not make him undead
Forgotten One #5: Sure I'll do it
Eternity And A Half: ...eeep.
Queen of the Harpies: God, i'm surrounded by idiots
Forgotten One #2: Hey, Eternity! I got the shoe!
Eternity And A Half: Bleh, we all know I'm gonna die anyway
Lich King: Hey, thats not a bright outlook on life
Forgotten Ones: Wait...WE KILLED YOU!
Lich King: Oh yeah....
*Lich King zips away*
Eternity And A Half: doesn't anyone around here stay dead?
Saddam Hussein: Nope
Medivh: Negative.
Sauron: Nope...hey look, monopoly!
Kel'Thuzad: Hey guys! *puts down a six pack* Did one of you guys say MONOPOLY?
Sauron: I call the shoe!
Eternity And A Half: NO! THE SHOE IS MINE
Queen of the Harpies: I got the iron!
Forgotten One #2: NO! THE SHOE IS MINE!
Eternity And A Half: SHUT UP! I'LL EAT YOUR TENTACLES!
Forgotten One #2: ...what?
Eternity And A Half: You heard me!
ShadowedLight: The One Shoe was forged in the fires of the Parker Brothers mansion....prepare for the WAR OF THE SHOE!
*Queen of the Harpies grabs bowl of popcorn*
Eternity And A Half: o.O
*Gollum eyes shoe*
Gollum: Hey there, my precious...
Eternity And A Half: oh forget it, I'll take the battleship
Fidel Castro: Jeeze guys, can't we have a normal game around here?
Kel'Thuzad: Castro? Who the heck invited you here?
Fidel Castro: Hey, I do what I want, kapish?
Eternity And A Half: Kapish? Aren't you Cuban?
Fidel Castro: HUSH!
Kel'Thuzad: Oh, well, that was rude!
*Kel casts death n' decay on Fidel*
Eternity And A Half: too bad D&D is the most useless spell EVER
Kel'Thuzad: Muahahahaha...*sees lord maldazzar* ...Arthas? ARTHAS!??!
*Kel runs over and starts worshipping the maldazzar shrine*
Fidel Castro: Oh yes! And now I use my ultimate! FERAL COMMIES!
*communists run everywhere burning everything*
Forgotten ones: Shouldn't we kill them all?
*QotH is chatting with forgotten one #4* and isn't he soo cute? Just look at him..ow! that hurt you commie!
Eternity And A Half: ...I just work here.
ShadowedLight: *yawn* types on computer and an Archmage appears
Archmage: Eat blizzard foo!
*blizzard employees rain from the sky*
Eternity And A Half: ...did he just say "foo"?
*Kel sees archmage* oh shiznit
Eternity And A Half: Aren't Archmages like 106 year old white guys?
Archmage: Thas rite mah homies! I'm in da house!
Ghost of Arthas: I reiterate...DOESN'T ANYONE STAY DEAD ANYMORE?!?!
Queen Of The Harpies: Oh…arthas!
Blizzard Employees: HI!
Eternity And A Half: You could cut the tension in here with a KNIFE
Queen Of The Harpies: They'll sue for copyright infringement! RUN!!!!
Eternity And A Half: HEY! WHERE'S MY ACT TWO AND THREE?
*gollum succeeds in stealing shoe*
Blizzard Employees: We've got acts 2 and 3 hostage! We wont release them until you give us what we want!
Queen Of The Harpies: Which is what?
Blizzard Employees: North Dakota!
Eternity And A Half: Um, my family more or less owns South Dakota. Is that good enough?
Blizzard Employees: No! We want NORTH Dakota!
Eternity And A Half: But south dakota has...erm...farms!
Blizzard Employees: Dont make us take World of Warcraft away too!
Eternity And A Half: All North Dakota has is...the U.S. nuclear arsenal!
*resounding screams from gathered crowd*
Eternity And A Half: AAH! NOO! NOT MY WORLD OF WARCRAFT!
Blizzard Employees: Yes! And if you want your precious games, you'd better do what we say
Sauron: *buys park place* Haha...foolish mortals...I now own the monopoly board
Eternity And A Half: ...Dammit. Knew we should have kept an eye on him
Forgotten Ones: Damn you sauron and your cheating...all seeing...eye
Blizzard employees: o0o! Monopoly!
Eternity And A Half: Why do you always have a zero in there, anyway?
Blizzard Employees: Give us boardwalk and park place! Or else!
Castro: back off man...too many players anyway
*random commie runs up with fiery torch and throws it at the game*
Random Commie: Muahahaha
*commies still running around, eating stuff and regurgitating it into chitin to restore Castro's armor*
Commies: Buzzzzzzzz
Eternity And A Half: Damn you and your utopian ideas ruined by idiotic leaders!
Kel'Thuzad: Relax guys...*casts misc. frost spell* *great sigh of relief from monopoly players*
Archmage: For all mah homies! *casts mass teleport*
Eternity And A Half: ...that's the Goblin Sapper's line
Homie #1: Hahahaha
Homie #2: Thats rite!
Homie #3: Ahehehe
Homie #4: Inertia is a property of matter
Eternity And A Half: ...thanks, Bill Nye
Homie # Really Pissed Off: Man! Damn Archmages and their mass teleports #@$%*#@!
Queen Of The Harpies: I LOVE BILL NYE!!!
Archmage: Shut yo mouth foo! I'm from da streets!
Eternity And A Half: Bill Nye is the pwn
Queen Of The Harpies: that's "love" with bold...as in I LOVE Bill nye…blasphemy, eternity, blasphemy!
Eternity And A Half: Um. What did I blasphemy again?
*Lord Maldazzar comes and repossesses the Maldazzar shrine*
Kel'Thuzad:...Arthas? OH MY KING! I MISSED YOU
Eternity And A Half: ...Ooh god
Lord Maldazzar: NO YOU FOOL! AND STOP THAT! I AM A HOMOPHOBE!
Eternity And A Half: Why do I get the feeling maldazzar is gonna get some skellie lovin?
Lord Maldazzar: I AM MALDAZZAR! YOU SEE??? MALDAZZAR!!!
Queen Of The Harpies: Kel, baby, I like you..but you gotta stop messing with my death knight
Lord Maldazzar: NOT ARTHAS!!! MALDAZZAR!
Kel'Thuzad: DAMN...*goes off to search for Arthas*
Lord Maldazzar: YOUR PAIN SHALL BE LEGENDARY!
*begins playing barney music*
Eternity And A Half: ...that's Arthas' line.
Queen Of The Harpies: *laughs from the monopoly board*
Forgotten Ones: NOT BARNEY! OH IT BURNS! IT BURNS!
*Castro lights HUGE cigar from the forgotten ones burning*
Eternity And A Half: ...wait, what does barney being a dinosaur have to do with anything?
Queen Of The Harpies: Eternity...does anything ever make sense here?
Eternity And A Half: ...mmm. Not really. But tis quite entertaining!
Castro: *takes puff of cigar* Yes, it is
*Gollum picks up one ring*
Eternity And A Half: Oh who cares about the ring anymore
Gollum: HAHAHAHA PRECIOUS PRECIOUS PRECIOUS! GOLLUM THE GREAT!!!
Eternity And A Half: the shoe is where it's at now
Queen Of The Harpies: it's all about the shoe now, dahling…AHHHHHH!!! WHY MUST ETERNITY AND I BE SO CREEPILY ALIKE?!?!
Eternity And A Half: Why is it every time I talk to you, you start screaming?
*Gollum waves hand. Lord Maldazzar appears before him, and gollum has a knife to his throat*
Gollum: Now everyone bow down...TO MEEE!
Queen Of The Harpies: I can't..I'm flying
ShadowedLight: she's always screaming
ShadowedLight: Archmage: Don
Queen Of The Harpies: QotH:....not true
Eternity And A Half: and what's with the random caps?
*tudorrose gives up on QotH and goes to sleep*
Archmage (to gollum): Don't make me b*tch slap yo a*s back to yo momma!
Eternity And A Half: o.O Okay, the World of Warcraft has no ghettoes, you freak!
Kel'Thuzad: Wait...are you harming...my king??!
Queen Of The Harpies: *casts numerous spellish things at gollum*
Lord Maldazzar: I'M NOT ARTHAS!!!
Queen Of The Harpies: Yeah really Kel...I've been barking up that tree for years
Eternity And A Half: hmm...you know, Arthas' body might still be on Icecrown somewhere...
ShadowedLight: Silly co-author. It melted, remember? The flesh melted.
Queen Of The Harpies: See? That's what I told him *points to ShadowedLight*
Eternity And A Half: Oh yeah. Well, the skeleton is still there somewhere. And perhaps the helmet.
Kel'Thuzad: *perks up* Skeleton?!
*Kel'Thuzad runs off to Icecrown to find Arthas' skeleton*
Eternity And A Half: ...OH GOD, MY VIRGIN EYES!! THE IMAGES!!! THE GOGGLES!!! THEY DO NOTHING!!!
*ShadowedLight puts on blindfold*
ShadowedLight: I'm blind, not deaf.
*Big Guffaw from the QotH corner*
Eternity And A Half: lol
Queen Of The Harpies: Illidan!?!?!
ShadowedLight: No, I'm not Illidan
Queen Of The Harpies: Damn
Eternity And A Half: You're SILLIDAN!
Queen Of The Harpies: Let's not go over that again
Eternity And A Half: lol
Queen Of The Harpies: oh...hold on
Archmage: Now that is just messed up. Noe wut im sayin? That is MESSED, UP!
Queen Of The Harpies: Wait…nevermind
Eternity And A Half: THERE ARE NO GHETTOES IN AZEROTH! GET OVER IT! YOU'RE NOT BLACK!
Archmage: Wut joo talkin about? I'm from da streets!
*Eternity And A Half smacks Archmage with plank*
ShadowedLight: ShadowedLight looks around
Queen Of The Harpies: If there's one thing I know, its fake ghetto...and you're not it
Archmage: Thas rite foo! I'm the real thing!
ShadowedLight: Don't you think that we might be straying into inappropriate territory now?
Queen Of The Harpies: Perhaps...but I mean, we kinda went there with the whole Arthas/Kel thing
*QotH dreams about Arthas*
*Archmage slaps eternity*
Eternity And A Half: *rubs face*...ow.
Random Commie: I'll mace you good!
*slaps eternity again*
*Eternity And A Half hits Archmage with magical plank of smiting and all things fluffy*
*commie walks over and slaps eternity too*
Commie: Haha! Thats fun!
*Archmage slaps eternity…again*
Eternity And A Half: DAMNIT *puts on Lich King helmet* NOW, WE...ARE ONE!
*commie eats the helmet*
Queen Of The Harpies: Oh c'mon Eternity…stick up for yourself
*Forgotten Ones all slap eternity*
Eternity And A Half: grr...
Queen Of The Harpies: Haha, stupid idiots
Eternity And A Half: Goes of into corner and sulks…wait a minute. The Forgotten Ones don't have hands!
Lord Maldazzar: Haha! That looks like fun! *slaps eternity*
Gollum: Yes precious! *slaps eternity*
*Eternity And A Half runs home crying, hides under blanket*
*Blizzard employees cast....Blizzard*
Eternity And A Half: NOO! BLANKEY
*Blizzard Employees all slap eternity*
*Eternity And A Half curls up in fetal position*
Eternity And A Half: Can't sleep...clowns will eat me...can't sleep, clowns will eat me...
Random Priest: What ails you, my son?
Eternity And A Half: I have funny dreams...and im crazy...and I see things…NO, WAIT! I'M NOT CRAZY! AND THOSE DREAMS WERE BROUGHT ON BY SPICY FOODS!
ShadowedLight: Whoops, gotta go. Cya guys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eternity And A Half: SL had to go at this point. But still, quite an interesting conversation, eh? Hope this makes some people smile. And please, don't kill us for the delay. Please? We'll get back to it as soon as we get a spare moment. Oh, and by the way, the ones involved in this were ShadowedLight, Queen of the Harpies and myself. Just thought you might like to know. Cheers until next time.
