Chapter 7

Death

"Your progress doctor."

Sandra Carson looked up from her computer terminal at Adalius as the commander entered her lab. She had been going over the designs for the warhead, two of which she had successfully created, attempting to find ways of introducing variable yields. Having access to the Cerinian gems for the past week had provided several breakthroughs in her research, breakthroughs she would have preferred never having been able to make. Not that she could do much to prevent them. "My team has completed work on a pair of warheads. I'm currently going over their designs, trying to find ways to make the weapons more precise. At our current pace we should be ready to begin production of the first series within two to three weeks."

Adalius quirked an eyebrow. "A precision antimatter warhead?" Sandra nodded. "Interesting. Tell me, are the two prototypes deployable as they stand now?"
Sandra blanched. She'd been wondering when someone might ask her that. "Technically yes. But they are hardly a refined design. I would not recommend it."

"Unfortunately my superiors are anxious to see results." Adalius replied. "They want a test."

"A test?" Sandra stood up. "You intend to detonate one?"

"Yes. Have one of the warheads prepped and then loaded onto my flagship. You will accompany me to oversee the first field test."

"Commander." Sandra began. "I really must protest this. As it stands now this an unrefined warhead. It could annihilate a city in the blink of an eye..."

"Excellent." Adalius nodded. "My superiors would be very interested to see that."

Sandra paused for a moment, staring at the wolf, trying to make certain she had just heard what he had said correctly. I'm working for mad men. She thought to herself before asking, "And who are your superiors Adalius?" She could feel the hackles on the back of her neck beginning to rise. She'd had about enough of the vague references to superiors she never saw or spoke to. For all she knew Adalius had gone rogue and planned to use the weapon for himself. Not that the alternative, that Andross or some sort of successor to the mad scientist now gave orders to the wolf would have been all that much better. "I want to speak to them. Directly."

Adalius arched an eyebrow. "What about? You have concerns about the weapon?"

"Yes." Sandra said. "Don't you?"

"No." Adalius said flatly. "My only concern is ensuring that the weapon reaches full production capacity as quickly as possible. My superiors feel that it will give us a decided advantage for the future."
Sandra narrowed her eyes. That didn't seem to add up quite right. "Advantage? Against who? I thought the war had already been won?"

Adalius didn't blink. "There are always matters of internal security, as well as external threats. Lylat is not the only technologically advanced system in our neighborhood. Have the weapon ready for deployment in six hours. I'll relay your...concerns to my superiors in my next status report."

"And when will that be?"

"After the weapon has been successfully tested." Adalius answered, confirming Sandra's suspicions.

The lioness sat back in her chair, feeling suddenly deflated.

"Six hours doctor."


There are times in everyone's lives when they wonder how they got to where they are standing. What series of choices, innocuous at the time, led to something so utterly horrifying, or, at the very least, unexpected. This was the feeling Sandra Carson felt as she walked, one hand on her warhead, towards the missile launch bay of the Ra-tem. How did it comes to this? How had she been so blind as to think working for Andross would lead to anything good for the universe? And how would she be remembered? As a fool. At best. She thought.

The warhead, smooth, glistening, made of white metal molded into forms entirely too aesthetic for a weapon, yet at the same time suggesting, just vaguely, the power it contained, glided along on an antigrav generator. The crew of the ship looked at it with somewhat mixed emotions. These men and women were not as heartless as it may have seemed. They were, however, loyal. They would follow their orders, and they would let anyone burn if they were told to let them burn. And how different am I? Am I doing anything different?

When Sandra first began working with antimatter at the Cornerian Research Institute she had been filled with hope for the future. She had seen the potential, the possibility that it would lead to something fantastic for the universe. Limitless energy, and energy that could be used to power warp drives ten times or more powerful than anything possible now. She had imagined stardrives capable of propelling people to the far corners of the galaxy, and one day, perhaps beyond. She had envisioned cities powered by a single generator no bigger than an apartment. She had thought of the transfer devices used to move large objects by disassembling and reassembling their component atoms turned into devices that could replicate and generate matter of any sort. The theory was there, but the power was not. She had imagined a world in which food, clothing, housing, virtually anything, could be created in limitless supply. A post-scarcity world in which the idea of inequality, wars over the limited resources of worlds and star systems would be a thing of the past. She had felt utopia within her grasp.

One person at the Research Institute had been less wide eyed and innocent. Beltino Toad was a well known and respected scientist. He had designed numerous inventions that had advanced Lylat to its status as one of the most technologically advanced societies in the known galaxy. More importantly he had designed weapons and thus was aware enough to know when the potential for destruction existed. When she brought the research to him he had been encouraging, telling her that what she proposed might be possible, but that she should be extremely cautious about who found out about it. He had warned her that in the hands of the less innocent, the less peaceful minded, what she proposed could be perverted into a deadly weapon. Did I listen to him though? No. And now look what's happening.

Part of Sandra wanted to do something, anything, to stop what she knew would be a catastrophe in the coming hours. Part of her wanted to chain herself to the warhead and refuse to let it launch. But a larger part of her, a part of her that managed to be far more rational, figured she would be able to do more if she kept her silence and simply went along with her overseers plans. More rational? Or more cowardly?

Arriving at the missile launch bay one of her team entered the access code before they guided the single warhead inside. The Ra-tem's she-wolf tactical officer stood waiting for them. "Doctor. Good to see you have the warhead ready on time."

"Of course." Sandra replied. "I wouldn't think of delaying."

The other woman gave Sandra a strange look, like she knew that was a lie. For a moment Sandra wondered if everyone suspected her of dragging her heels. "I've been fully briefed on how to load the missile. If you'd like to head to the bridge..."
"I'll remain here and assist you." Sandra answered.

"All due respect ma'am, commander Adalius wants you on the bridge. I'm more than capable of handling this." The she-wolf said.

"And all due respect to you this is an extremely sensitive piece of technology." Sandra bit back, her temper flaring. "One misstep and we could incinerate a city sized portion of this planet's polar ice cap."

"I know what I'm doing ma'am." The she-wolf looked to be getting about as flustered as Sandra. "Now, either go to the bridge or I'll have to inform the commander that you're disobeying one of his direct orders. What'll it be ma'am?"

Sandra sighed, suddenly feeling the fight drain out of her. It had been getting harder and harder to bring herself to fight back against her task. The closer she found herself to completion the less will she seemed able to summon. She knew she'd done enough of the groundwork at this point that anyone trained in her speciality would be able to pick up where she left off. She knew she wasn't as indispensable as she might have been nine years ago. She got less and less indispensable as the years went on. Now was not the time to make things any more difficult than they already were. She would accomplish very little having a pissing war with the Ra-tem tactical officer. That and she could guess why Adalius insisted on having the she-wolf load and prime the weapon. It was just another manifestation of the fact that he had begun to lose what little trust he might have once held in her. He's worried I'll do something to make it misfire, something to spoil his test. Would I though? Would I?

Sandra wanted to think she would, but sometimes even she doubted herself. After nine years the work had become very important to her, despite the fact that it wasn't the work she'd set out to do in the beginning. It could be very hard to bring oneself to sabotage nine years of one's own work, one's own life. "I'll be on the bridge. Please be careful though. I wouldn't want us all being incinerated before we even launch."

"I'm certain that won't happen." The she-wolf assured her.

You're sure it won't happen now you mean. Sandra thought bitterly to herself before walking out of the missile bay and taking a turbolift to the bridge.

It concerned her though, the fact that Adalius clearly no longer trusted her. It meant a number of things. It meant that her doubts, her worries about how this weapon would be used were likely true. If he no longer trusted her because of those it meant he did not believe he could risk telling her the total truth, that this weapon would be used, and it would be used against innocents. Something else concerned her, something more worrying than the fact that he had given orders not to allow her to oversee the arming of her own creation. He had yet to tell her what this warhead would be used against. Sandra assumed, or rather hoped, it would be used on something like a comet, or a dead moon, something that would prove its destructive power without loss of life. She knew better than to believe that however, what she hoped for with this project often proved irrelevant, she remained at the mercy of these "superiors". And, if his "superiors", whoever they might be, would be interested in seeing this weapon destroy a city she had a sick feeling that they would not be patient about it. I may have just argued with a woman over who gets to sign the final death warrant for thousands of people.

The doors to the turbolift opened and Sandra stepped out onto the bridge. Adalius stood at the front, hands clasped behind his back. The rest of the crew went about their duties, preparing for launch. Sandra had always been amazed at the ingenuity of Andross's engineers in designing the facility. A few arrangements with specific locals and work began. A few years later and Sandra had been introduced to a hollowed out glacier perfectly catered to her needs.

Walking to stand next to Adalius she said, "Do we have a problem?"

Adalius looked down at her, taking on a puzzled affectation. "Problem? Why none at all doctor."

"Then why am I not being allowed to do my job?" Sandra asked, keeping her voice low. She knew better than to make a spectacle of her challenging the commander on the bridge of his ship.

"You are being allowed to do your job doctor." Adalius replied, his tone matching hers. "Exactly your job. Nothing more, and nothing less. Besides, I wouldn't want you to miss the launch."

"How kind of you." Sandra responded dryly as she stood there, resigning herself to the inevitable. The doors to the hidden launch bay opened and the ship began to ascend on thrusters. The deckplating shook for a moment before the inertial dampeners came online, then the movement became almost unnoticeable. The Ra-tem soared into the skies of the Kathari moon, penetrating the atmosphere and soaring into orbit, its cloak enabling as it broke through the cloud cover. The vessel floated above the moon, invisible to sensors and the naked eye, a spectre of death waiting to unleash judgement upon an unknowing, inoffensive people. Who would those people be though? The Kathari who had unknowingly, for the most part, sheltered them for years? Or would it be someone else?

"Helm." Adalius said. "Take us into firing position above Cerinia's secondary island and lock onto the coastal city at the following coordinates." Adalius instructed, rattling off the coordinates.

How fitting that the location be summed up in a simple series of numbers. Soon that would be all the inhabitants of that city were. Numbers, statistics. The death of one could be intimate, the death of a thousand, ten thousand, or more could not be comprehended, not by mortal minds. I work for murderers. And what does that make me?

The Ra-tem began to angle itself into firing position. There would be no need to descend into the atmosphere, the missile had more than sufficient range to reach the city on its own. The bridge remained quiet, the only sounds being the hum of machinery, the beeping of consoles, and the collective breath of the dozen or so individuals present. Who will weep for them? Who will weep for the people that I have spent nine years slowly condemning to death? Will it be anyone here?

"Target locked and acquired commander." Came the voice of the officer at tactical. Not the she-wolf, this one a lion like herself Sandra noted. She could see on his face a slight tinge of regret, as if he knew that he, more than anyone else, would be responsible for what happened next. He would be the one fated to pull the trigger.

"Fire." Adalius spoke the word without emotion, as if he were giving the order for his lunch that day. Sandra hated him for his emotional control, for his unwavering devotion to his duty. She also envied him for it, wishing she could hang on to her own cold rationality in the face of what they were doing.

As a scientist Sandra believed in the rightness of logic, of cold, rational thought. When she agreed to work for Andross she had assumed it to be the logical thing to do. The offer couldn't have been better, she would have the ability to make lives better for billions, trillions even. Was that logic? Or blind ambition?

Sandra didn't know anymore. Though she began to wonder if perhaps she had been insane when she accepted the offer. It would be a convenient, and perhaps not unexpected defense if she were ever captured and made to face judgement for her crimes. I never once committed a crime before. Not even a parking ticket. Now look at me, what does this say for the virtue of being a law abiding citizen? What does this say for any of us?

Her gaze fixated on the missile as it left the Ra-tem's launch bay. It glowed bright red, light from the force field surrounding it strobing in all directions. Some part of her found that it looked quite beautiful. Death in the prettiest of masks. But that's all it is, death. All I've done is create a weapon, a new way for us to kill each other. What have I done?

The viewscreen followed the missile in, giving no one on the bridge any hope of avoiding the outcome of their collective action. All of them would remember what this new death looked like.

"Impact in five seconds." The tactical officer informed them, breaking the hushed silence on the bridge as he counted down.

Sandra watched, knowing that she saw the last five seconds of life for an entire city. Thousands or even more, men, women, children. Each one a unique individual. Each one with hopes and dreams. Loves and hates. Each one a source of limitless possibility. Which one of them would have surpassed me? Which one of them would have ushered in utopia for their world? What have I stolen from creation?

"Impact."

The moment the word left the lion's mouth the viewscreen filled with a fire that began as a white column of plasma, then turned blue, then red, then orange as it fanned out across its kilometers long range. How many lives? How many accomplishments? How much have I stolen away from these people? What have I done?

Something in Sandra snapped then. She looked around the bridge, saw the repressed horror on the faces of everyone there, and realized she could no longer claim to be what she was. She could no longer be called a scientist. She realized she would not usher in a utopia for her world, or anyone elses world. She would never be remembered for anything but what she had just made possible. The death of innocents. A new method for the tyrants of the galaxy to threaten each other with mutual annihilation.

"Successful detonation."

"Successful." Sandra whispered to herself. "So that's what we call calamity now. Successful."

"Doctor?" Adalius looked at her, a note of mild concern in his voice.

Looking up at the wolf she said, "If you'll excuse me, I have quite a bit of data to go over now that we've had our first detonation."

"Of course. Helm, take us home."

Sandra walked off the bridge, knowing that she still had much work ahead of her. She would get to see and analyze everything she had just done. She would make a report on the burning of innocents. She would make a report, and it would end with how to make it easier, more efficient, to kill thousands more. What have I become? What have I made possible? And what do I do now?

These thoughts echoed in her mind as the turbolift doors shut behind her, as she sank to the ground, her legs no longer willing to support her. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. She would weep for the souls she had condemned to an early grave. She had made her choice.


A/N: This chapter went through about six variations before it got itself into the form you see here. A huge thanks to Nail Strafer, my awesome beta reader, for helping me come up with this idea, he actually kind of saved the story for me.

This chapter does signal a bit of a turning point in the story, so expect things to actually start happening. I realize the last two chapters have been a bit slow, hopefully now we can get into the somewhat faster paced stuff.

I'll aim to have the next update done a bit faster than I did this one, though I'm resuming classes this week so I'll have a bit less time to work on my writing. Either way let's keep our fingers crossed.

As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please leave a review and tell me what you thought! Until next time...

-general whitefur