I don't own nothing!

Well, colour me purple if this wasn't just the greatest 'Oh Shit Moment' of my existence so far.

I plastered myself against the glass door, broke open the plastic casing for the control pad and frantically typed 1402 in. Nothing happened. I tried a bunch of other combinations; my birthday, Independence Day, St Patrick's and Christmas. I mentally cursed that I didn't know of any particularly Scandinavian holidays. I tried to hurl myself at the glass with no result. Trust Eric to find vampire-proof glass for his penthouse bunker.

There was no shade. At least it didn't hurt. I sank down and curled into as small a ball as possible, covering my head with my arms. I hyperventilated. Well, why not? It's not like I needed the air. I didn't know how I got here, much less how to get back inside. Most of all, I couldn't believe that I would be leaving Eric alone again, so soon after coming back to him. I had seen what he had suffered and now I was leaving him again, this time with a big dirty Sookie shaped smear on his rooftop decking.

"Goodbye, I love you," I whispered and tried to find peace in the fact that my time in the existence I hadn't wanted was going to be short lived. To think that the loss of the sun was one of my largest objections to becoming a vampire – how ironic.

I don't know at what point I started counting in my head but it didn't take me too long to establish that if I was burning to a crisp I was taking my own sweet time about it. I chanced a glance at my hand. There was not so much as a blister on my alabaster skin. I drew back the sleeve of Eric's shirt and my exposed arm did not catch fire.

I'd seen the fangs. I had crawled out of my own grave. I was killed by a vampire. I was pretty sure I was a vampire. Not that I was ungrateful that I wasn't turning to toast, but I was confused as hell.

I stood up and set myself down again in the chair swing. It was a large comfortable pillow on top of a rattan style circular seat, supported by strong wooden beams in the shape of a giant tripod. The wood looked weathered but sturdy. I positioned myself in the centre of the swing and sat back. It swung round in gentle circles and I looked up at the sky. It was late afternoon, I couldn't guess the exact time but I'd guess there was at least another hour to go until sunset.

I wondered what time Eric would rise. I'm sure he'd told me before that he woke before the sun went down because he was so old. I wondered if my concept of age might change drastically now that I was bulletproof. I'd seen vampires die. I knew that immortality was only good if no one wanted to drive a long pointy bit of wood into you, or to slice off your head with something sharp and equally pointy. I considered whether or not all phallic symbols might be bad for one's immortal health and chuckled.

I hoped Eric wouldn't give himself an aneurism when he woke to find me gone. I wondered if we might be able to find a little peace together before some vampire head honcho tried to kill us for murdering a monarch and his minions. I thought about the Queen's trial at the summit. Would Eric and I have to defend ourselves to the Ancient Pythoness? How would we convince her that Eric was trying to protect me from a homicidal power junkie who was directly violating his King's protection order over me? Would my being dead help just a little?

I swallowed that sarcastic thought and I felt Eric come to life in the bond. Oddly, I didn't feel him panic. I just felt a crushing sadness. I paced the terrace. If only I had a cell phone I might be able to call him, reassure him I'm alright, that I haven't left him. I raised my hand to bang on the door but quickly thought better of it. I might be toast proof but Eric certainly wouldn't fare well if he threw open his doors to the day.

I tried again to work out how I'd come to be on this side of the door. I'd been standing thinking about standing in the sun. Had I wished to be outside on the terrace?

I tried wishing I was back in bed with Eric and counted to three. Nope, still stuck on the terrace. Eric's sadness was crushing now. I sent him all the love and reassurance I could through the bond.

His sadness was replaced by momentary confusion, and then more despair. Jesus Christ Sheppard of Judea this was getting old fast.

Finally after what felt like days, the sun set. It was very pretty but I was too het up to care much. I was practically dancing around like the proverbial cat. The shutters started to raise in the apartment and I started banging on the glass in earnest. Several moments later a befuddled Eric appeared in the lounge and looked at me as if I was a ghost. 'Come on, hon, open the door!'

"Eric Northman, open this damned door!" I yelled out loud.

That did it - Eric was heading over in earnest. As soon as the door opened he crashed into me, dragging me inside with him. "Lover, what the… are you hurt? I thought… I thought I dreamt and you were… really gone… burns?" he gasped as his hands started running over my bare legs and down my arms, making sure I wasn't singed.

"Eric, I am so sorry. I woke up and had a blood and the next thing I was outside on the terrace."

He hugged me to him so hard. He had woken and thought last night was a dream. "I felt you in the bond but thought my mind was playing with me, that I had finally snapped and gone mad with sorrow."

I hugged him back. I had felt everything he felt along with him. I knew. He pulled back a little and took a long slow steadying breath, looking at me intently. "Explain again, please," he said.

So I did. I told him about wanting the blood, being surprised I was awake before him, thinking about being outside in the sun and feeling the warmth and then actually being there in it and not turning to cinders.

"It sounds a lot like teleportation. Your fairy genes seem to have become more powerful since your transformation. It might be worth mentioning to Niall. I thought only full blooded fae could teleport," he said when I'd finished.

"Oh, the 'poofing' thing?" I quipped with excitement.

He smiled indulgently at me and quirked an eyebrow. It was a gesture more fitting on Pam's features but I elaborated anyway, "It's how I term that thing that Niall and Claude do when they just appear somewhere and then disappear again."

"Well then my dear, yes, I'd have to say it appears you can now 'poof'. It might be wise though not to attempt to 'poof' anywhere anytime soon until Niall can give you some pointers on how it works and what its limitations might be. It was exceptionally lucky that you took no harm from the sun but then, as a new vampire, you are surprising me at every turn. I've always assumed the day-walking legends were just that. It's the holy grail of vampirism."

"Maybe I'm not a vampire?" I hedged.

"Vampires are magical creatures. The Fae are too. We live on the blood and you seem to crave it now. Fae are inherently gifted as are you. The Sky Fae thrive in the sun and it appears you still need it. I don't know if it is your heritage or Niall's Breath but I think we should contact him soon."

"Even undead I'm a freak," I sighed.

"You're unique and lovely and I love you," Eric told me sincerely. "Just don't go all sparkly on me, okay?"

I swatted him playfully. "Douche bag. We need a plan. I need clothes and possibly another shower, not necessarily in that order. And I need to know how much trouble we are in over the Felipe/Victor fiasco."

Eric's phone beeped. "Well, a shower can be arranged so long as I can join you, Pam's got an outfit or two in the spare room and then it seems we need to head to Fangtasia."

We followed the plan. We dallied a little in the shower to share an orgasm or four but I reasoned Eric was taking care of my vampire needs. Pam's 'emergency residence' wardrobe consisted of a long black backless Morticia-esque number, no doubt one of her costumes for 'enthralling the vermin', and a pale blue pair of yoga pants and a matching sweater. Until I was formally allocated my hours at Fangtasia for enthralling duties I felt entitled to opt for comfort. Pam's feet unfortunately were about two sizes bigger than mine but Eric assured me he'd have someone bring me some in the correct size later. As we would be flying there, it didn't matter too much.

It was around an hour later that we arrived at the employee entrance of Fangtasia. The onslaught of human brain activity never ceased to knock me sideways after any period of relative quiet but I found my new improved shields quite effective. I slammed them down and felt a relaxed smile fall across my face. Maybe I'd never need to be 'Crazy Sookie' again.

I entered Eric's office behind him and thanks to my new mental defenses, was blindsided when I was accosted by strong arms from behind.