Okay so this is another flash forward to a few weeks before the wedding. I probably won't be going forward in time for quite a while longer. But enjoy! Thanks for reviewing, putting this in your favorites and alerts!
Three weeks before the wedding
Rachel's hand shook as she knocked on the large wooden door in front of her. Her stomach was filled with intense butterflies as she waited for someone to answer.
He pulled the door open and she knew she just knew that this was the right choice, he stared at her a mixture of shock and interest as he leant against the door frame. "What are you doing here?" he asked softly.
"I want you" she whispered her mouth barely able to form the words she had just said.
Sam felt the tightness in his stomach instantly disappear as he pulled Rachel toward him by the lapels of her jacket, his mouth met with hers in seconds, they warmth of their lips colliding. It was everything that he had remembered, the sensations that it led him to have not changed since their last kiss.
"I love you" Rachel whispered against his mouth.
Sam smiled, his heart bursting, tears of joy almost set to fall from his eyes "I was so scared that you'd never realise" he whispered, his mouth finding hers again.
Sam only realised that he'd been day dreaming again when his coffee missed his mouth and spilled down his shirt. It was white and clean on that morning; he cursed as he put the cup on the table and pulled the shirt off. He grabbed the closest clean shirt to him, it just so happened to be Finn's, it was a little tight around his arms but it'd have to do. He'd promised Kurt that he'd spy on Mercedes and her new boyfriend with him. He'd only agreed because he wanted to ensure that this guy was good enough for Mercedes since she was one of his closest friends.
"Are you going for the hulk look?" Kurt asked later at the mall.
Sam looked at him with a moody expression "No. It's Finn's, I got coffee on my shirt" he muttered.
"Must have been thinking pretty hard about something" Kurt mused looking at his friend with a knowing expression.
Sam sighed "Yes, I was thinking about Rachel" he replied. "Does everyone know about the way I feel, apart from Rachel and Finn?" he asked sounding annoyed.
Kurt shrugged, "Well you make it so obvious" he said.
"Not obvious enough apparently" Sam muttered under his breath.
Kurt pulled him behind a store door "There she is" he whispered.
Sam looked around "Rachel?" he asked.
Kurt rolled his eyes "Keep on track Sam. Mercedes is over there."
Sam nodded, he looked over and saw her standing outside Baskin and Robbins, with some guy with dreadlocks. "Dreadlocks? People still have those?" he asked Kurt, making a face.
Kurt wrinkled his noise "They shouldn't" he replied, sounding disappointed in his friend's choice of boyfriend.
"I'm sure that he's a nice person in spite of his hair" Sam commented, he couldn't believe that Mercedes wouldn't choose a good guy to go out with.
"Let's follow them" Kurt said and placed some sunglasses over his eyes.
Sam made a face of confusion "She knows who you are Kurt, I don't think the sunglasses are going to hide it that well" he told him.
Kurt sighed "Come on, let's just follow them" he said.
Sam followed his friend as they walked behind Mercedes and her new boyfriend. Kurt said that they had to make sure they were at least a metre behind them at all times so that they wouldn't be seen. Sam didn't know why Kurt couldn't wait for Mercedes to introduce her boyfriend to them when she wanted to.
"Sam!" A voice said from behind him and Kurt.
Sam turned his heart leaping out of chest as he recognised the voice "Hey Rachel" he said quietly smiling at her.
Rachel felt a grin tug at her lips as she took him in. It had only been a few days since she had last seen him but he looked even better than she remembered. Inwardly she cursed her heart for still feeling these things as she stared at him.
"Hi Kurt" she said finally acknowledging her friends presence.
Kurt let his sunglasses fall further down his nose as he looked at her "Hi Rachel" he said, recognising the look of dopiness on her face. It was the same face he made whenever he saw Blaine. He still couldn't believe that Rachel was going to marry Finn when her feelings for Sam were so obvious.
"What are you two doing?" she asked them curiously.
"Kurt wanted to go incognito to see Mercedes boyfriend" Sam told her, bobbing his head awkwardly. He felt totally out of sorts whenever he saw Rachel; his body had this whole chemical reaction to her that he couldn't control no matter how hard he tried. "What are you doing here?" he asked her.
She looked at her bags "Oh I was just buying some things for the wedding" she said quietly.
Sam nodded pretending that hearing the word wedding didn't literally break his heart. "Oh that's nice" he mumbled.
"What are you guys all doing at the mall?" Mercedes asked them, her tone sounded pissed.
Kurt smiled "We were helping Rachel with wedding stuff" he told her confidently. "I didn't know you were coming today" he commented looking her boyfriend up and down with an evil eye.
Rachel and Sam looked at one another "So who is this?" Rachel asked gesturing to Mercedes shopping buddy.
Mercedes cheeked darkened "This is Joe" she said quietly.
Joe smiled at them all, "Hi everyone" he said happily. "You must be Kurt, Sam and Rachel right?" he asked them.
They all nodded dumbly "Mercedes never stops talking about you guys! It's great to meet you all" he told them.
They all grinned, "Well we're her best friends" Kurt said breezily. "It's great to meet you too."
Sam nodded "I like your hair man, its cool" he remarked, mainly for Kurt's benefit than anything else.
"So you're getting married?" Joe said to Rachel. If she was honest she was becoming sick of talking about her upcoming nuptials. Maybe that sounded bad but she was just so confused already that talking about it didn't help her. She looked at Sam to see if he even cared that they were talking about her wedding. He wasn't looking at her; he was inspecting the cuff of his shirt sleeve. She couldn't tell if he was avoiding her gaze or because he just didn't care.
"I need to talk to you about something" Rachel said as she walked into the Hudson/Hummel household, she placed her jacket carefully on the coat rack and walked into the living room.
Sam was certainly curious as to what Rachel had come by to talk to him about. "I need to ask you something."
He sat down at the opposite end of the couch to her, not wanting to be close to her. He never knew what he might do if he got too close to her. "Okay" he said quietly.
Rachel's long dark lashes fluttered nervously as she opened her mouth "Last year, when you and me, we had that thing."
Sam had not been expecting her to talk about this with him, when she had broken things off she'd barely spoken to him then so months on he wasn't exactly expecting her to talk about with him.
He swallowed hard "When we were together" Rachel continued, unsure of what to say "Do you ever think about it?" she asked him, her voice was soft vulnerable as she stared at him.
Sam wanted to tell her that he thought about it ever second that he was awake and probably at least half the seconds that he was asleep. He wanted to tell her that he never had time to think about anyone else, or being with anyone other than her. That she was the stars that he looked for in the sky at night and the sun that he waited to rise in the day time. But he didn't know if that's what she wanted to hear. Maybe Rachel was just here to get closure and she wanted him to say that he was okay, over her, that she never even crossed his mind.
He licked his lips nervously "Sometimes" was his response.
Rachel felt her heart beat speed up "And what do you think?" she asked her, she was on the verge of crying, or laughing or totally losing it.
Sam breathed deeply "I don't know" he said "I don't know what you want from me Rachel" he admitted, his eyes searched hers for some sort of answer.
She looked down quickly "I'm sorry, for the way I treated you" she whispered.
He shook his head "It's okay, you were confused, I know that it was a hard time for you" he told her. He did know that, but it hurt like hell when she cut him out off her life without an explanation.
Rachel felt the first tear slide down her blushed cheek "I'm sorry" she whispered again.
Sam moved closer without a second's hesitation, he placed his arm around her shoulder, his fingers resting on the top of her arm. Her head found the familiar crook in his body. His heart was beating so fast that he felt as if he was running and not merely sitting with her. He didn't want this to be goodbye, he wanted to hold her again, love her again.
"Rachel I… I never stopped, you know, thinking about you" he told her, his voice was quiet, fretful, he still wasn't sure that he should be telling her any of this.
She looked up at him, her face a mixture of beauty and sadness "Sam I…"
Someone was letting themselves into the house through the front door; Rachel tried to quickly gain her composure as she pulled away from Sam, her hands wiping away any trace of tears. With one last lingering look she placed a smile on her face to greet whoever had just come in.
Sam watched Rachel have a frenzied conversation with Finn's mom about something. He couldn't hear what she was saying, he couldn't hear anything, and it was like the pain was blocking everything else out around him. He shut his eyes; he just wanted to be okay again. But as long as Rachel looked at him the way she just had, he knew he never would be.
"Okay so bachelorette parties are kind of lame when you aren't anywhere near twenty one" Quinn said holding up a giant pink balloon.
Mercedes laughed "Hey at least we tried" she said. They had tried to create a girly haven for Rachel's bachelorette party, but so far they had just filled Quinn's living room with balloons and a buffet consisting of carrot sticks and cucumber. It didn't look promising.
Quinn sighed "We should have just let Kurt arrange this" she grumbled, as the balloon connected to her hair with static.
"He can't, he wanted to go to the bachelor party" Mercedes reminded her friend.
"Which is even weirder, what exactly is he going to do there?" she asked.
Mercedes shrugged "I don't know" she admitted, grinning at the thought of her friend watching a female stripper.
Quinn sat down on the floor crossing her legs " 'Cedes do you think this whole thing is a bad idea?" she asked her friend, a wrinkle appearing on her forehead.
Her friend looked at her "The party? Or the wedding?" she asked, twirling a streamer with a pair of scissors.
Quinn nodded "The whole thing" she said.
"I don't know, for a long time I honestly believed that Finn and Rachel would be together forever, but I found something out that kind of changed my mind" Mercedes told Quinn. She wasn't sure if Quinn knew about the whole Rachel and Sam thing yet.
The blonde looked at her expectantly "Tell me" she said "If it's important than I need to know it."
Mercedes sighed "Rachel and Sam had a little bit of thing, when Rachel found out about Finn and Santana last year" she said.
Quinn's eyes widened "I can't believe that Rachel never told me that!" she said "But still if she and Finn weren't together then why does it even matter? Unless she still likes Sam" Quinn said questioningly.
"Well I don't know about Rachel, but I have it on good authority that Sam still likes her. Maybe even loves her."
Rachel leant against the wall outside the Fabray's living room, she had only been listening for a couple of seconds but it was obvious that they were talking about Sam, Sam and her. She took a deep breath, could it really be true that Sam was in love with her, until the other day it hadn't seemed like he even thought about her at all. But him and Mercedes were so close, she knew that if he was going to tell anyone about how he felt it would be her.
Sam downed a shot of tequila and gave a thumbs up signal to Finn who had been waiting for him to do it before he tried it. Finn downed his and coughed and spluttered half of it back out in shock.
"How do you do that?" Finn asked, "Just drink it like water?"
Sam shrugged "It's not that bad" he replied. It was probably because Sam had been hanging out with Puck a lot more lately and that involved drinking a lot more alcohol. He knew drinking copious amounts of alcohol wasn't the best way of getting rid of the pain, but it did work.
Finn had no idea that Sam and Rachel had ever dated, sometimes Sam wondered what Finn would do if did find out. Would he break up with her? Or would he just let it go? Sam had considered telling him, but he didn't want to hurt Rachel.
Sam sat down on couch that usually served as his bed in Finn and Kurt's basement. It had turned been turned into a western themed bar by Kurt and Blaine earlier that day. It was pretty cool looking.
"What's wrong man?" Mike asked sitting down next to him.
Sam shrugged "You're so lucky man, you found the girl that you wanted and you got her" he mumbled into his cup.
Mike looked confused "Are you wasted already?" he asked.
Sam laughed "Not exactly, just thinking" he said.
"Well if you want the girl you have to go out and get her. You should tell her how you feel. What's the worst that could happen?" Mike said.
If only Mike knew, the worst that could happen? Rachel could reject him, marry Finn in front of all their friends and hate him forever. Finn could find out and kick him out of his house and punch him in the face. The entire former glee club would hate him. There was no way that he could tell Rachel how he felt without ruining everything that mattered to him.
It was around midnight when Sam's phone buzzed to tell him that he had received a text.
I miss you
That was all it said.
