Well my dears, who would have thought a stressed out old bag like me would have 7 chapters in her? Hope you enjoy this one.
As has been said before, I own no part of any characters or nuffin.
Ch 7 - connections
***************************
Within a week of the shooting, Gale was fully involved with his treatment. He plunged ahead with physical therapy as if something was chasing him. Something was; his fear of relapse. He had daily check-ins with Chaff his sponsor. Atala and he had established a regular, although still very painful schedule. He figured the more he put into his regime, the less time he had to dwell on morbid thoughts of his future.
A new element had been introduced in the form of a most unusual acupuncturist. Gale thought she might have been the most unusual person on the planet, if indeed she was from this planet. Dr. Tigris, as she called herself, appeared to be of indeterminate age. Her life story was almost as mysterious as her appearance. She was covered in tattoos and had shaved her head. Her remaining hair was gray, but her face bore no wrinkles at all. With wide set almond-shaped eyes and high cheekbones, she had a definite Asian air to her appearance. When she spoke, she did so in a low, guttural tone, but with a refined English accent. B.T. had done his homework, however and came highly recommended. She and Dr. Seeder and Atala seemed to work well together, despite her strange and mysterious ways.
Gale recalled their first meeting. The unusual woman peered down at him as he was resting on a table in the rehab unit. He opened his eyes and nearly fell off at the sight of her. Her lips curved up in the slightest smile.
"You are called Hawthorne, are you not?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I am Dr. Tigris. I do not usually see patients outside my office, however, your case interested me, due to the remarkably open and intelligent approach of your surgeon, Dr. Seeder. I find your physical therapist, Atala, to be most intelligent as well. Now I am here to assess your worthiness for my services."
"What would you like to know about me? I don't know what would make me worthy in your eyes." Gale was wondering if a test was involved...
"That is an acceptable question. You do not think like many others. Why do you want to use acupuncture?"
"Let's see... First, I have great respect for non-western medicine and culture. Second, I know people who have been helped by acupuncture. Third, it can't hurt any more than Atala's torture chamber. Fourth, but maybe most importantly, I have been in recovery from alcohol abuse for the last two years and I want to limit the number of substances I put in my body."
"Hmmmm." She practically purred. "Hawthorne, I will take your case. You are a friend of Mr. B.T. and I respect him highly. I can also see that you are searching for the right path and I believe I can help you. We will attempt to re-balance your qi. We will begin tomorrow. Do you meditate?"
"I've read about meditation and I've tried yoga, but I don't yet have a regular practice. I've always been anxious to learn." Geez, he felt like a stupid high school kid again. Did he really make that lame excuse?
Dr. Tigris let that tiny smile appear again. "Meditation is essential to clearing the mind of confusion and obsession. It is required preparation for any of my patients. Here is my book on the subject."
Gale hesitated. How much would this cost? He thought, but did not speak his concern. But Dr. Tigris seemed to sense his question. She said, "Hawthorne your employer has arranged for payment of all charges not covered by your health insurance. I sense you do not want to be in anyone's debt. Let me tell you this: trees do not stand too close together in the forest, neither do they stand too far apart. Why is that? It is because they, and we, are all connected. What you take in gratitude today you will give back with an open heart tomorrow."
And then she left. Since that day he had seen her four times. Each time she blew his mind away with more wisdom. He was so busy opening his heart to her wisdom that he almost forgot about his pain. And his fear.
###################
Gale's mother had returned home after a week. It was a tearful goodbye between she and Delly. They had stood on the porch of Delly's house waiting for the taxi that would take her to the airport. Hazelle encouraged her to call. Delly promised she would. She had so appreciated the support and affection of the older woman. After getting to really know Hazelle, she knew where Gale got his gentle strength from. Hazelle had told her, "Delly, every life has some story of pain and suffering. It's what makes us human. It's what gives us compassion. You have a great deal of compassion. You are also stronger than you know.
When Gale's father died, I did not know how I could go on, but I did. I had the kids and no time to really sit and wallow in my misery. But, I'll tell you, I never thought about what it would be like to be happy again until I found Haymitch. We both had our share of pain, but now we are both each other's joy. So I am glad you found my boy and he found you. You deserve to be just as happy as anyone else. I hope to see you dancin' with Gale at that wedding!" Delly thanked her and hugged her. She realized how much she missed her own mom at that moment. Hazelle got in her cab and was gone. Delly went inside and called her brother, Niall. She really needed to hear her little brother's voice.
"Hi, baby bro. How's it goin'?"
"Hey sis! It's great to her from you. You just caught me before I go to my next class. Things are going good. I'm interviewing for an internship with a really great architectural firm. They are into sustainable methods and design. I'm psyched. What about you?"
"Well, I'm ok, but there has been some heavy stuff happening lately. I'm sorry I didn't call you before, but I kinda didn't want to lay this stuff on you. Now I realize that was a big mistake. You're a grown man, Niall and I should start treating yo like one."
"OK, so now I'm getting worried, Delly. What heavy stuff are you talking about?"
"Don't worry," Delly said, trying to remain calm." I'm really ok. Let's see, where do I start...OK, so you remember Gale Hawthorne, right?"
"You mean the incredibly intimidating older brother of the fair Posy? Yup. Not an easy guy to forget. What about him."
"Well, we've been seeing each other for a few months and we've been getting really close..."
"Delly, are you pregnant?" Niall broke in.
"God NO!" She screamed. "No, we haven't even done the deed yet. But I really care about him - even used the "L word"..."
"Lesbian?" Niall teased.
"NO! Stop being funny!"
"OK, OK. So what about Gale?"
"He got shot. He's been in the hospital and is recovering and we love each other and when he gets out he's moving in with me. There. I said it! Niall?" There was a pause on the other end.
"Sis, I'm not sure, but did you just say that Gale Fucking Hawthorne was going to move in with you?"
"I did."
"Are you happy?"
"Delirious! Well, except for the part where he got shot."
"Then I think it's just great. Weird. Definitely will take some getting used to, but great. Look you are my big sister and you've given up so much for me, for which I am eternally grateful and I love you to death. I am so glad that you have finally done something for yourself that makes you happy. I mean, I was worried that when you moved away from home after all those recovered memories came back, well, that you would be really lonely. I am so glad that you have someone to love. Delly, you are so full of love it comes busting out of you! Now, the only bad part is that I will have to try to kick Hawthorne's ass if he hurts you. And, like I said, he is one intimidating motherfucker."
"Oh, Niall! I know it's weird. It blew me away at first, but he is a really good person. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel good. He doesn't mind that I'm not perfect. I think he likes it, actually. He has his own demons he's been battling and we are really good for each other... I love him." Suddenly she felt as if a giant stone had been rolled away. She had told her baby brother that she loved Gale. She felt a whole layer of doubt slide off of her. They chatted easily for a few more minutes and then signed off.
She went to work that day and sailed through her shift. She called Gale at her break, but kept the conversation short. She had planned on stopping by the hospital after work on her way to an individual session with Cinna. She had not been to group since the shooting and she frankly did not feel up to sharing all that had happened without sorting through the feelings herself. No way could she stand having emotional daggers thrown at her by Clove! So she hurried home, picked up a little something she had gotten for Gale and practically ran to the hospital.
Gale was sitting in his chair, looking out the window. His brow was furrowed and moist with sweat. His eyes half closed in pain, he was holding a stress ball in his left hand. He turned his head and gave a weak smile to her as she came crashing in.
"Hi handsome," she said as she kissed him hello.
"Hi beautiful," he replied.
"I brought you something," she said, extending her hand with a bight blue bag tied with a yellow ribbon. Gale opened up the bag. He looked inside and looked back up with a puzzled expression.
"Dels, scissors?"
"Yeah, smart guy. They're for your manual dexterity. And they're left handed. You've probably been cutting things with your right hand your whole life."
"Wow. You never cease to amaze me, Ms. Cartwright. Although my hand already feels like it's going to burst into flames just from squeezing this little ball. I guess I know why they call them "stress" balls."
"Oh no, don't you think you'll be ready to try them?" She looked kind of hurt, like the kid at the birthday party who gave the really dumb present.
"Can we take a walk and talk about this? I am dying to get outside. These walls are starting to close in on me."
"For you, my lord, anything." She shifted herself under his good arm and helped him get up. Despite his amazing progress, he was still very weak. His therapy took a lot out of him and she could feel how tired he was as he leaned against her for support. They slowly walked down the hall toward the elevators, stopping to check in with the nurses.
They found a courtyard and sat a bit. It was twilight and the autumn air was cool. He put his arm around her and she snuggled into him. He let out a long, slow breath. He always felt more relaxed around her. He smiled at her, but she could see he was still worried.
"Dels, I know this recovery gig is going to be a long road. It's already really frustrating and I'm really needing my art right now. And I can't even get close to drawing yet! I mean, all this emotional stuff I've been going through...we've been going through...it's like it's all percolating inside of me. I feel like I'm about to scream or cry every damn day." His voice cracked ever so slightly here. She raised a comforting hand to his chest, being careful of his sling. He looked down at her and then rested his cheek against her hair. He took a few ragged breaths. She could hear his heart beat faster. She wanted to comfort him, hold him. She wanted to say something.
"Sweetheart, I've been thinking a lot about you and your art. I may not be an artist like you, or Peeta, but, I do know how much pleasure I get out of doing creative things. And I know how important it is to you. Maybe you're not able to draw yet, but we can figure out something. Maybe we can do something together?"
"Like what?" he asked, a slight tinge of pessimism in his tone.
"I don't know. Maybe we could do collage, or what do you call those box things...assemblage. You know, like that mother and daughter artist team we saw at the art gallery. Bettye Saar, right?"
"Right. Bettye and Allison," he said with a far away look. He clearly was thinking. A moment later he seemed to have a breakthrough and squeezed her tight. "You are a freaking miracle, you know that! This could be really cool. Maybe we could even make something for Catnip and Perfect Mellark. What do you think about that?"
"I think you are a genius, Mr. Hawthorne." He released his hold on her and she raised her hand to his face, now slightly in shadow from the darkening sky. He kissed her, slow and deep and then rested his forehead to hers.
"I hate to leave you now, but I do have to go meet Cinna, " she said.
"OK," he said, not moving. "Will you be back tomorrow?"
"Yes, baby. Just like every day. Tomorrow we should talk more about you moving in."
A huge grin appeared on his face. "Yeah, moving in." He kissed her again, with small, sweet nuzzles on her neck. She felt the buzzing in her guts that he obviously knew he created every time he touched her neck. Ooooh how does he do that and don't stop, don't stop, don't stop...
"OK, I gotta get outta here before I'm late for Cinna. See you tomorrow, love."
"Tomorrow, then." He slowly released her, still holding her hand as she turned away. "Oh, and Delly?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for the present."
And she thought she could catch a glimpse of that boy he used to be, who knew the present was kind of lame, but liked it anyway.
Delly smiled and waved as she went back into the building. She smiled all the way to Cinna's office and didn't even care if she looked like an idiot.
When she arrived at Cinna's, she realized she actually was a few minutes early. It was just before 8:00 and she would have to wait about 15 minutes. She sat down and closed her eyes and tried to remember that beautiful grin Gale had on at the thought of them moving in together. She tried to think about how she would tell Cinna about everything that was happening: getting close to Hazelle and calling her brother. working on Gale's rehabilitation and art together, making a gift for Katniss and Peeta...she drifted off to a little daydream of picking out paints with Gale to set up an art room at her place, goofing around with paint and getting it all over themselves. She dreamed about cleaning it off of his face, smiling and then kissing him and kissing him and kissing him again and again...
The door opened and another client came out with Cinna. As he said goodbye to the man, Cinna warmly clasped his hand and said, "See you next week, Gloss. Remember what we discussed." The man nodded, his overly tanned, overly groomed face looking very sad. Cinna turned to Delly, "Well, You look great, Delly. Definitely better than when I saw you last. Come in, won't you?" Delly rose and followed his welcoming gesture.
When her 45 minutes were over, Cinna and she embraced. He told her he was so proud of her. He was proud of the risks she was taking. He reminded her, though, that her issues with boundaries would be coming up a lot. He warned her to be careful to listen to all the parts of herself, happy and sad and scared and suspicious. He had suggested she keep track by keeping a journal of sorts. She knew he was right, this wasn't some Lifetime Channel movie. She knew there would be times she and Gale wouldn't be perfect with each other. His journey was going to be a long one and she wouldn't always know what to do or say to help him. Beyond that, she had to remember to take care of herself. Yoga every day, keeping up with her other friends, coming to group; all of this was good for her and therefore good for Gale and she together.
As she made her way home she felt tired, but good. She made a quick list of things to talk to Gale about tomorrow. She knew if she wrote them down, right or wrong, the list would keep her honest with herself and with him. She felt good about all the promises to herself she had kept. She had promised herself that she would not just jump headlong into trying to save Gale: she didn't want to fall back into old habits of being "super helpful" and losing herself in the process. She needed to have honest but tedious talks about money and expectations around housework. She expected Gale to make all kinds of adjustments to living with someone again. She hoped he wouldn't think too much about his past with Maysilee. She would need to remind him not to be strong for her, to let her help him, but to tell her when she was doing something wrong. The more she thought about it, this horrible accident would actually be good for them. It would force them to talk about things many couples avoided. A good foundation, she thought, for a long life together.
Wow. "life together?" Wow.
As she walked inside her home, her phone was buzzing. It was Peeta! What a surprise! She filled him in on all the details of Gale's treatment plan and moving in, most of which he knew from Hazelle. Still, it felt great to talk as they used to. For his part he told her how the wedding plans were progressing.
"Delly, Katniss and I have been talking a lot about the ceremony. We do not want it to be exactly what everyone expects. Not that Katniss has ever cared what anyone else thought, but we want this to be really special. So, anyway, will you, ah...will you be my best man?"
"What? Peeta that is so cool! Of course I will! I'd be honored. What do I have to do? Oh no. Do I have to give you a stag party? That can be some pretty sexist stuff, you know."
"Nah, forget about it. The last thing I need is some stripper's boobs in my drink. Let's talk about it with the other guys and see what we can come up with. Delly, you're my best friend. I remember when Katniss and I almost broke up that summer before college. If it weren't for you, we probably would never have made it."
"Aw, shucks, Peeta. You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?" The two old friends continued their talk for a while longer. God it felt so good to have someone reach out to her. Later that night, when her head hit the pillow she was out in a minute. A rich, restful, dreamless sleep washed over her. The next morning she woke up, did her morning sun salutation and moved along in her day.
Many thanks, my friends, for your kind thoughts and words. You really give me a lift when I see your names. I have no idea what's next for these two, but hopefully inspiration will hit soon. Feel free to share any ideas you have. Come see me on tumblr - same name. Ta-ta for now! - jane
