Chiron's three:
Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordian.
We were gather for a purpose…..the greatest robbery of all time. We have the four hoofed genius who looks like Santa and reads Manga, the perverted goat with hairy legs and small squickly squirrel eyes, the man who's self delusion is only surpassed by his incredible loyalty and academical abilities, and last, but so far from least it's farther than um…something, myself. The young gun. As yet, I have never robbed on this scale before……but I am Percy Jackson….the inevitable…..the incredible….the beautiful……..excuse me. I need some alone time.
"The gods……" whispered Rod softly…… "That's code for wheaties right?"
" Mount Olympus….." I said breathlessly. "I have often dreamed of going back….in womens clothing…and dancing….." I had that far away but oh so dreamy look in my eyes again.
Grover coughed. "Um…..I think I found a small logical flaw in our plan." Oh curses….
"What is it, my young'un?" asked Chiron.
"Well……" said Grover. " The fish paste." Oh no……not now……after so much time…..
"I'm confused." Said Rod, speaking into a microphone, one of those commonly used by the police during sting operations. " How are fish paste relevant?"
Chiron paused. "We teach our campers….a lie. That the gods go to wherever the flame of the West burns the brightest….that is a lie. They go to wherever the largest fishpaste factories are….follow the pattern….Ancient Greece….Rome…..England…..France…..Euro Disney….Spain….and finally… ….right here in………U.S.A."
"The Usa!" I said. "Oh crap, that's where we are now!"
"Exactly, young Presumes….I have weathered two thousand years…in an epic wait for the three greatest criminal minds of all time ever….to help me steal the gods." Said Chiron.
I bowed before him. "You shall have to wait no longer. We shall steal these precious gods and sell them on Ebay for you…..and then…we um……why are we stealing the gods?"
"Excackly! I have all we need in this van!" said Chiron, taking out a small toy car. "To the Empire state building!" Oh yeah! Road trip!
The empire State building:
" Hello." I said, smoothly, adjusting my disguise. "We are four traveling builders bearing pizza. Let us in fair gate keeper."
"Percy!" hissed Chiron. "Didn't you read your lines? Does were not your lines!" Bloody puissant.
"Look." I sharply retorted, turning the argument in my favor. "Reading is hard. So I improvised."
" I ap to the ologaise for my comrade day!" said Grover. "We are pizza delivery men! We are high, on crack, so that we can go up the little happy tower to the gods and not be suspicious or tell people about it afterwards." Hmm……..yeah right. Like anyone will believe we're on crack.
" Oh…." Said the guard. " Lord Zeus has the oddest fancies..remember, everything weird is caused by the crack. There are no gods up there…..just, um…very tall business men…..who like pizza….be on your merry way…" He idly pressed a button and the lift opened. We moved towards it when-
"Hang on a minute!" said the watchman, turning his head towards us. "Why are you dressed us builders?" Damn……..he needs a strong argument, more than the usual "It's the fashion, governor!"
"Ummmmm……." Said Grover looking to us in support. I knew I had to intervene.
"We are part time builders." I said. "We're building two architects after this."
"Oh…..and why are there four of you?" he asked, sharply, wittily, seductively.
"This shit is for the gods dawg!" said Rod arrogantly. "It's like…..very heavy! All of us have to carry it."
"Oh ok." Said the guard. "Go right on up." Up we went…….upwards.
Rod suddenly ran to the guard. "Call the Police. Say Agent R.O.D called. He's infiltrated the gang and will stop them at all costs. You're country thanks you." He turned back to us. "Just found out what the time was. Don't want to miss tonights episode of….um….tv…"
"Excellent shuffling Mr.Shuffly…." I muttered incoherently, having dropped the pack of playing cards I've been carrying.
The elevator moved upwards, with us fiendishly going over our roles and checking our equipment. It was a nerves thing. You functioned better if you knew the things you need are working. We four we're the quite defiance of the gods…. Ready to rock……
"Hey Chiron…" I said , as the Lift continued upwards. "Now that you don't have to pretend to be a be a pawn of the gods anymore, can you tell me the so called Prophecy that could be about me?" At last…..I shall know….
"Sure thing Jack…." Said Chiron, using my criminal name, as we criminals do. " I shall speak in Italics, to make it seem more significant!"
"Wait, what?" said Grover.
The blood of mortal and the blood of gods
United in one one to unite
The powers of all
One will reunite and save the gods
Or all shall fall
At the sixteenth one's choice will divide
Between titans and gods the world's fate to decide.
Unless he does something crazy earlier like try to steal the gods in a little box while dressed as a builder or something.
"Ha." I said. "Good thing we know the oracle is probably retarded by now or something."
"Yeah and we have nothing to worry about anyway." Said Grover. "My man the action Percy Jackson is not crazy so we're safe." I feel so honored by my friends' faith in me…..all hero's should be surrounded by love and respect for max heroing!
"By the way….." said Chiron….. "Mr.D…..the two of you devised a way to confuse him long enough for us to steal these gods? You may wonder why we didn't simply steal Mr.D first….while imagine carrying around a box that smells like Mr.D for about three hours….excackly.
"Yes…." I said…..cackling like a mad goat woman covered in taco's.
Meanwhile, back in CAMP HALF BLOOD!
"This gravity is all over the camp….in vibrant blue….I must deduct who did this…" said Mr.D, as all the campers looked on in fear.
Before him, in the afore mentioned vibrant blue paint, stood "THIS WAS NOT DONE BY PERCY JACKSON!"
"Hmm….I can clearly remove Percy from the list of suspect….seeing as it is, underlined…." Said Mr. D idly. "But who cares enough about Percy Jackson to want to ensure he does not suffer for their heinous crimes?"
His brow darkened. "Annabeth Chase! You have been found guilty! Thus you shall be forced to go with me as I shop for something which actually goes with this monocle."
"But Mr. D!" began Annabeth.
" Shut up." Said Mr.D and paused. "If anyone asks, we're not related. Come along now." And off they went, for several eventful hours.
BACK IN THE LIFT!
"Chiron, I have a question." I said. "If a man is amazing right…..he's amazing plus a man….does that mean he's mayonaising?"
"No. And we're not going to deal with the metaphysical." Said Chiron, closing the conversation. Aww…..but I love the metaphysical!
