Erin had faded in and out in the ambulance ride over to Med. Every time she'd opened her eyes though, she'd seen Jay watching over her. She knew there were other people in there with them, she'd felt them tugging at and prodding her, but it was only him she'd had time to notice. He was sat above her, his hands on either side of her head, fingers stroking her hair, trying to provide comfort. She knew he was saying something, she imagined it was soothing and nurturing, but she couldn't hear anything except the booming of her heart; which seemed to be echoing all over her body. She wished she could say or do something to ease the look of absolute anguish that he wore on his face.

She had been lucky; the bullet had gone through and through. Amazingly, it had managed to avoid hitting both her brachial artery, which would've probably had her bleeding out in minutes, and her humerus, which would definitely have broken upon the bullet's impact. She was burned pretty badly from the stippling splayed outside of her wound, a byproduct of the gunpowder's heat against her skin. She'd managed the get her arms over her face to feebly shield his access to her head. In her adrenaline-induced reaction, she'd managed to move and buck her body around wildly enough that the two gunshots he'd managed to get off had been weak attempts. Clearly not a trained to wield that pistol, Rooster had sent the first shot into the headboard. The other, the one that had somehow managed to make contact with the underside of her forearm, had only just done so. The pooling of blood was almost instant but thanks to shock, the pain was not.

Rooster's hands had made matters worse and his thumb had penetrated into the small wound left by the graze of the bullet, ripping at the already fragile and gaping skin. The screams Erin had let out at that action had echoed in Jay's ears the entire ambulance ride over, playing like a broken record in his mind.

Due to the overall uncleanliness of her attacker as well as bed and room she'd been in, Dr. Choi had been most worried about the possibility of infection. Though the pain of recovery would be a bitch, she was going to be fine. It would take some time, but they'd told her she would make a full recovery. Of course, her first question had been when she could get back out in the field. He was relieved when he managed to avoid answering that question as she'd slipped back into the drowsy state that accompanied by the wearing off of anesthesia.

In addition to being shot, she'd suffered several other injuries. Fingerprint bruises were already forming on the sides of her neck. In their skirmish; Rooster had landed a few good punches on her face and abdomen. They'd checked for signs of internal bleeding, head trauma – the full work up and everything checked out positive.

After cleaning her wound and stitching her back up, she'd been moved from the ICU to a post-op recovery room. Being that she was PD, and basically the family of Dr. Will Halstead, she'd been given a nice private room at the end of the hall. Maggie had insisted that it had one of the best views in all of Chicago, Erin had decided to take her word on it for now.

Jay's time in the waiting room had been excruciating. He'd struggled to keep his emotions at bay and not confront Hank. He should've been out there with her. He's out there, this NEVER happens. No one could've convinced him otherwise. His emotions must've been drawn all over his face because, after awhile of tense silence, Voight - against his better judgment (And Al's advisement), had addressed him. "You got something to say, Halstead?"

"Not a thing, sir." He'd kept his response brief and without emotion, if only because he knew that the last thing Erin would want was the two of them arguing at a time like this.

Ever the hot head, Hank had persisted. "Let's hear it. You got doubts about your team's ability to do their job, I think they deserve to know."

If looks could kill, Hank Voight would've instantly dropped dead given the enraged one that had shot at him from Jay's eyes. "So, we're going to do this right now, really? This is important to you while she's up there…alone, battered…bruised…bleeding?" Hank's silence seemed to indicate that he did in fact want to go there. It was probably only his own worry over Erin that was prompting his rash behavior, but Jay didn't have the time or energy to consider Hank's feelings. Not right now at least. "You want to hear me say I told you so? Fine, I DID." Jay raised his voice to emphasize that last word, he knew he should stop there, but he was angry and blinded by it. "Ruzek is fine police, he can cover me any day on any job, I trust him with my life. I know he had Lindsay's back, don't fucking twist it. But we both know it should've been me out there with her. I know her better than anyone, better than you." He dared, his eyes alit with passion; both from his anger at Voight and his fears over the uncertainties with Erin's condition. What would he do if he lost her? He couldn't even allow his mind to entertain that thought, it would've sent him over the edge.

His knuckles were white from where they gripped the arms of the feeble chair where he sat, his clutch all that kept him from standing up and doing something he knew he'd later regret. "Ruzek had her back just like he would me, or Atwater, or you. That's why it should've been me. She is my world, Hank. And you can protect and cover your partner. You can be incredible at it. But you can't tell me that you don't protect your world just a little bit more than anyone else can." And with that, he'd stood up, slamming the chair back behind him as he rose; storming off. He was going to find Will, or April, or Maggie…anyone who could give him an update on his girl and get him the fuck away from Hank.

It was like Will had read his mind because just as he'd rounded the corner towards the nurse's station, he had basically run into his older brother. Instantly recognizing how heated he was, Will reached out to steady him with his shoulders. "Whoa, whoa, you good bro?" He'd asked Jay, who could only look at him with livid eyes. This prompted Will to offer him reassurance; "Listen, she's okay. Choi checked everything, got her cleaned up real good and he managed to close the wound in a way that will leave her with barely a scar, okay? She'll be milking this for weeks to get you to spoil her," He attempted to lighten the mood but Jay's face, despite showing some relief, was still twisted in a scowl. Sensing that it was not yet the time for humor, Will added more seriously; "..she's in recovery now, let's go tell the rest of your guys what's up and we can head up there. She really needs to rest so she won't be up for many visitor's but, April said she hasn't stopped asking about you since she woke up."

That though made him weak. Erin Linsday, whether she wanted to or not, truly needed him. He refused to deny her, and subsequently himself, that need any longer. "No. Take me to her now, I have to see her." Jay's tone was one of tormented despair and one look at his red eyes, his brother just couldn't justify putting up a fight. He'd take Jay up to Erin and page Choi to go address the rest of the team. This was a side of his little brother he had never seen. Sure, he knew that things with him and Erin were serious when they'd moved in together. Jay wasn't like him; he didn't rush into things that serious without being sure. He knew things were even more serious when he'd learned that Jay had started to go that veteran's support group, something he himself had suggested to him for years, starting after he'd first gotten home.

It took something real and special to want to "fix" yourself to be better for or worthy of someone; so you could be your best for them. Of course, Will had understood all of that, but only on a very surface level. The concern he had for Erin now, the love that was completely obvious on his face… It made Will realize that he didn't even have a fraction of that for Nina. He let the thought sink in before he turned his full attention back to his brother as they reached the elevator. Will had to keep from laughing as he watched Jay slam the up arrow button almost a dozen times, even though he knew it wouldn't make it arrive any faster. Suddenly, the redhead understood his own longing to be that… desperate for someone.

Despite his brother's news that Erin was going to be fine, Jay's entire body still stood stiff with tension the entire elevator ride to the eighth floor. Will had tried to help him relax, offering other bits of encouraging information about Erin's prognosis, but honestly; Jay had tuned him out.

All he wanted – no needed - was to see her, kiss her, tell her he was sorry he hadn't fought harder to be the one out there with her - her eyes and ears. Once the doors had finally pinged open, it seemed to take an eternity to get down that endless hallway and to her room. Will had opened the door for him, but out of respect, had moved to let Jay pass by him to go in alone. "You can have a few minutes with her, but the nurses will be in to check on her soon and, if they kick you out you better listen." He'd warned. Jay cast him a look of appreciation before slipping into the room and closing the door gently behind him.

The dim lighting of the room cast contrasting shadows off the curtained windows and various adornments. But, his attention was immediately drawn to her form; which seemed so small now as she lay there in the hospital bed, hooked up to several different monitors and an IV. Her eyes had been closed but as he'd moved into the room, the sound had caused them to flutter open. A smile instantly grew on her lips as she felt his presence even before her eyes had focused enough to confirm it was him.

He was at her side instantly; no time to be ashamed at the fresh tears that sprung from his eyes as he'd moved to be next to her. His hand moved instinctively to take hers, barely able to stand seeing her in such a fragile state.

With a rasp much more pronounced then usual, she managed a small greeting, "Babe…" She beckoned him even closer to her, wanting to ease the pain and worry that she felt all around him, and saw so clearly in his sad eyes. She knew that, though she was technically the one who'd been injured, he'd just spent the last however long it had been in a state of anxiety that had probably tortured him just as much, if not more. "I'm okay," was her whispered promise.

"Shhh," He'd responded, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "It's okay just rest, I just needed to see you. See for myself that you're…." He couldn't manage the last word or he would've dissolved into sobs and he couldn't do that here. He needed to be strong now, for both of them. Taking a moment to collect himself, he forced out a more relaxed and meaningful smile. "I was just so worried about you, baby." He whispered, sitting down carefully on her right side, next to her legs.

Because of her struggles with drug abuse, specifically of the prescription variety, she'd long ago added a waiver to her medical file advising that under no circumstance, should she be given pain medicine of any strength not approved by the FDA for over the counter distribution. That meant, after the anesthesia wore off, she was in for a real treat. They'd already started her on around the clock regiment of ibuprofen to try and stay ahead of the pain, but Maggie had warned her that it was going to be brutal. For that reason, they were going to keep her there for the next few days to help her with pain management and to keep an eye on the wound for any sign of sepsis or infection.

Jay's eyes had begun to study every visible inch of her and the more he saw, the angrier he grew, he couldn't wait to have a crack at the son of the bitch who had left marks and scars on his beautiful girl's perfect body. Though, to Erin's credit, she had left him with some very permanent damage as well. "I'm so sorry this happened babe…I tried to…" He knew better than to place blame. When it really came down to it - this was no one's fault but Rooster's. Deep down, he knew that, even if he still felt a lot of rage and animosity towards Voight; especially for the way he'd gone after him just moments before he'd headed up here with Will. He forced those thoughts out of his head, he could be angry later; right now he was going to be grateful.

Erin's eyes drifted up to meet his, casting him a comforting look accompanied by a reassuring squeeze of his hand. "I know- you don't have to say it. I know." She brought his hand up to her lips and placed the softest kiss to the soft skin of his palm before changing the subject slightly, instantly consumed by her own worry. She hadn't been the only one out there who'd been hurt! "How's Adam, is he okay? I'm sure he feels like shit…and he flew pretty hard down those stairs, did Will or somebody check him out or was everybody in such a fuss over me that they forgot to give a shit about him?" Maybe it was leftover loopiness from the anesthesia, or perhaps even the come down from her adrenaline high, it could even be what some people might call the silver-lining effect; a new found sense of appreciation for life, living, and laughing about it after you experience a tragic event. Whatever it was that had motivated it, she'd figured that even though Jay probably wouldn't yet be in the mood for humor, she was concerned about Ruzek and she had to do something to relieve the tension that had clearly knotted into her boyfriend's entire being. The whole ordeal could end up just as much of a trigger for him and she would be damned if Rooster or this injury did anything to hurt her or Jay any more than it already had.

This was exactly why this woman constantly amazed him. Here she was, laid up with a GSW and countless bruises and in the first ten minutes of being awake enough to talk to someone who wasn't hospital staff, she was asking about her partner. She was a far better man than he, he mused.

Her tactic had worked, but not how she'd intended. Rather than the humor relaxing him, it was her genuine tenderness and concern for Ruzek that reminded him he needed to let go of being so angry and instead focus on that fact that she was here, she was okay, and that tonight could have gone a lot worse than it had. Only Erin Lindsay could have ever had such a pacifying effect on him. He gave in to her playfulness, if that's what she needed right now, he wouldn't disappoint. "Ruzek is fine, a little banged up, but more worried about the ass beating you're going to give him when you're better."

Erin laughed, happy to see him in good enough spirits to banter along with her. "Don't give him too much shit okay, it was a rookie mistake him going behind me on those stairs, I'll give you that, but it's just because he knows I'm such a bad ass, if I hadn't lost access to my knife, it would've ben a different story." With that last part, she seemed to lose all the progress she'd made getting him to relax and she watched him promptly stiffen at her mention of how she'd been so defenseless mere hours ago.

Deciding to try something else, she tugged on Jay's arm, beckoning him closer. "He shot me in the arm, nothing wrong with my lips. Besides that human ashtray is the last thing I kissed or touched and I am going to need those memories to be immediately replaced by ones of you." Erin didn't mean to make light of the seriousness of the situation she'd just gone through. Rooster had almost successfully assaulted her and he could've potentially ended her life. She wasn't ready to process or deal with any of that right now though, so she resigned to her old habits and shoved all of that deep down inside of her, using misplaced humor in its place to avoid addressing the new darkness looming just under the surface that threatened to consume both of them.

He had to brace himself as not to react physically to her words, he knew that this was how she needed to deal with it now, so he'd let her, but it was hard to hear her say those things so casually. It was harder yet that he'd bared witness to the entire thing from the confines of his car, splayed across the screen of his phone. He knew though, that he needed to just play along, for her sake. "You are a bad ass." Jay managed finally and to avoid saying anything else, he kissed her lovingly on the lips, careful not to overdo it, afraid he might hurt her.

He could only silence himself for so long, however, before he'd been compelled to add; "And I promise I will kiss every single spot where that bastard touched you until the only thing you can remember being there is my lips." He moved his strong hand to cup her face and he studied her for a long time. For a long time, neither of them broke the intense eye contact and connection as they really looked in to one another again, just like they had after they'd exchanged those letters.

Suddenly, he was speaking again those his eyes never left hers; "I'd ask you to marry me right now but you deserve much more than a panicked hospital proposal after you've just been through hell. Because all this, it isn't even why I'd ask…" Jay hadn't expected it to come out quite like this but, his confession was honest and real. "Just know that...I want you forever. And there is nothing I want more than for you to be my wife. So it's not time yet and I'm not asking, not like this. But I just…I needed you to know that…. that's where my head is at. That's where my head has been since we moved in together. Hell, since way before that. And tonight when…when I wasn't sure if I had lost you…I realized you didn't know that. And I couldn't exist anymore without making sure you did." He said softly.

Erin's eyes fogged with tears now, as she watched him deliver the most absolutely perfect and romantic sentiment she'd ever heard. Her heart swelled with love and gratitude, taking a moment to appreciate how lucky she had been to find and fall in love with such a loving, strong man. And more importantly, how lucky she'd been that - even though he was just as jagged around the edges as her- that tender, incredible person had loved her back. "Oh Jay," She'd whispered through the tears. "I love you so much," She kissed him deeply; fuck the pain in her arm and…well the pain everywhere, it was worth it for that kiss.

His lips perfect lips were a better relief than any of the drugs they could've pumped her with to take away the pain. "That's what I want, more than anything." She confessed, finally breaking the kiss as the pain and the act of holding herself up like that had become too much to handle. Erin had never figured she'd want a husband – mostly because, thanks to Bunny's example, she had never believed that a healthy, functioning marriage was even possible. But loving, and especially living with Jay, had shown her that she was in fact the marrying type. And… maybe even one day…the mothering type as well. Only Jay Halstead, her soul mate, could have ever made her consider herself to be either of those things.