CHAPTER 7

Revelations

As they left the hospital, Shmi reflected how natural it felt to walk beside Qui-Gon with her hand gently resting on the crook of his elbow. They had walked this way each day she was in the hospital, either talking quietly or in companionable silence, while Anakin went to visit his friends. This will probably be our last walk together, she reminded herself. She smiled down at her son who was holding her other hand, and realized neither of them were likely to set foot on Tatooine in the future. "Why don't you go say goodbye to your friends, Ani?"

"May I?" The young Padawan looked over at Master Jinn with hopeful eyes.

A surge of jealousy rose within Shmi's heart. He's my son, damn it! I already gave him permission when I told him to go.

Qui-Gon's head lowered in a slight nod. "Do as your mother says. Meet us back at the ship in a half hour."

As she watched Anakin run down the street, she sensed Qui-Gon's eyes on her. She suddenly felt ashamed of her feelings. Blushing, she looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head slightly. "For?"

She felt her cheeks burning even hotter with embarrassment. "I just..." she looked away from him as she hesitated. When she continued, her voice was barely above a whisper, "It bothered me that he asked for your permission when I told him to go." Raising her eyes back up at him, she apologised once more. "I was angry at you, but, it's not your fault. I mean, you're... I... know I have to let go, but..."

"Shmi," he said softly as he shifted his arm so he held her hand. He reached up to cup her jawline with his other hand. "You don't have to apologize to me for your feelings. I wish I could ease your burden."

As his fingers caressed her cheek, she stepped towards him to give him a hug. She felt his strong arms wrap around her shoulder, and a slight pressure as he kissed the top of her head. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Is there anyone you wish to say farewell to?"

She pulled away as she thought about it before shaking her head. "The friends I have here visited me in the hospital, and we already said our goodbyes."

In silent mutual assent, they resumed their walk toward the spaceport, with Shmi again taking hold of Qui-Gon's proffered elbow. She studiously kept her eyes on the ground in front of them as she commented, "I'll miss this."

"What will you miss?"

"Walking with you."

There was a moment's hesitation before he asked, "Do you wish to go check your old residence to make sure nothing important was left behind?"

"I really didn't have much of importance Anakin wouldn't think to already pack."

"Okay." He chuckled. At her questioning glance he explained, "I was trying to make our walk last a little longer." Shmi laughed even as Qui-Gon put his other hand on top of her fingers that held his elbow. When their eyes met, he said quietly, "I'll miss you, too."

The two walked the rest of the way to the ship in silence.

Qui-Gon slowly turned the co-pilot's seat around to look at Shmi as they waited for Anakin to arrive. "We haven't spoken much about this, but now that we're about to leave Tatooine, is there anywhere you wish to go?"

"I'm actually at a loss as to where to go," she replied quietly as she stared at her hands which were folded in her lap.

"Sometimes, when we don't know where to go, it's time to go where we've been."

She glanced up at him with a confused frown.

"Do you remember where you were born," he asked by way of explaining what he meant.

She shook her head. "I was so young when pirates attacked the ship we were on. I don't know where we came from... or where we were going."

Qui-Gon's lips thinned as he considered what she said.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a burden."

"You can stop that kind of talk," he chided gently as he leaned forward and enfolded her hands in his. "You are not a burden, Shmi Skywalker." He squeezed her fingers before adding, "Perhaps we could narrow the options down by eliminating the places you don't wish to go."

A slow smile played upon her lips. "Any planet in the outer-rim territories can be ruled out."

"Well, that eliminates roughly three hundred worlds which are habitable to humans. You still have roughly one thousand to choose from."

"Is that all," she laughingly replied. "Well, if we eliminate the core worlds, then only the mid-rim worlds are left... do you have any suggestions?"

"Hm... well, there is one planet that comes to mind. A place someone will welcome you with open arms."

Tilting her head in curiosity, Shmi asked, "Which world would that be, and who are you talking about?"

He smiled slightly as he informed her, "I'm certain Queen Amidala of Naboo would be quite willing to return the hospitality you granted to her while she was on Tatooine a few years ago."

"Queen Amidala?" She shook her head in confusion. "I know Padme was her handmaiden, but..." she stopped in mid-sentence when Qui-Gon's grin widened. She raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Padme is Queen Amidala."

Shmi's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? But, she was so sweet and... well, she didn't act like a queen." Her expression turned slightly suspicious as she asked, "Did you know she was the Queen when we first met?"

"I... strongly suspected that was the case." It was Qui-Gon's turn to be curious. "Would you have done anything different if you knew?"

"Well... not that I could really do anything different, but I'd have been a bit more... self-conscious about having her in my home."

"Then it was good you didn't know. Padme would not have liked it if she made you uncomfortable under your own roof." After a minute's silence in which the information sunk in, Qui-Gon added, "As it is, she and the people of Naboo would graciously welcome you. Especially since your son is considered a hero there."

"What?" Surprise once more danced across Shmi's features. "What did he do?"

"You'll find out in detail from the Queen herself if you go to Naboo."

"Qui-Gon," she scolded, though there was a hint of laughter in her voice, "you can't just drop this bomb on me and not elaborate!"

There was an amused gleam in the Jedi's eyes as he relented. "Well, the Jedi Council sent Obi-Wan and me to escort the Queen back to her homeworld. On Naboo, we had secured the hangar bay, and I instructed Anakin to stay in a cockpit of a fighter where he would be relatively safe while the rest of us went on to battle the enemy forces on the ground. He wound up taking off in the fighter and blew up the enemy's droid control ship which deactivated all the droids on the ground."

"You told him to stay put in what is essentially a glorified pod-racer," she commented dryly.

"Well..." he paused to clear his throat, "... yes."

"And you really expected him not to do what came naturally to him?"

"Well, I really didn't think that over thoroughly enough," he admitted and he saw her close her eyes as she shook her head. Qui-Gon hastily defended his actions, "We were in the middle of a battle, and it was safer for him there than coming with us... that is if he followed my orders... but then if he had done as I instructed by the letter, then he would have wound up in even more danger, and many more people would have died."

Shmi took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she reopened her eyes to quietly regard the Jedi.

"So," he broke the uncomfortable silence, "do you wish to go to Naboo? Even if you don't wish to live there, it would be a good place to stay until you figure out where you wish to settle."

Instead of answering his question, she narrowed her eyes. "I thought Ani wasn't supposed to go on missions until he completed the initiate tests. Why was he with you in the first place?"

Qui-Gon quietly sighed. He had hoped to steer the conversation away from that detail. "At first, the Council had decided against training Anakin, citing that he was too old to begin training and they sensed fear in him. I defied them by saying I would train him on my own. This meant I would have no support in his training by anyone in the Order, and I had to take him with me when I was assigned on the mission."

"So he's not officially a Jedi initiate?"

"He is now. He proved himself on Naboo."

"By disobeying orders and blowing up a ship?"

"Actually, it was what happened after all that which changed their mind." Qui-Gon paused only slightly before continuing, guessing his audience would not yet be satisfied. "Master Yoda questioned Anakin while I was recuperating under a Jedi healer's care. The lad apologized to the Grand Master for the rift he perceived between myself and the Council, and asked him for advice on where he could go after withdrawing his apprenticeship to me so I wouldn't be in trouble." The Jedi Master smiled slightly as he remembered how touched he had been by Anakin's intended sacrifice on his behalf. "This led to Yoda speaking to the Council on the boy's behalf, and they changed their decision."

Shmi remained silent for a couple minutes, her expression pensive. "Were you in danger of being thrown out of the Order for taking Ani as your padawan?"

Qui-gon quickly shook his head. "No. The Council and I have often been in disagreement on various issues, but I have never given them reason to dispel me."

"Then why did Anakin feel he needed to leave you so you wouldn't be in trouble?"

"I believe he overheard a conversation between Obi-Wan and I, and he misunderstood what was said. Be that as it may, I have faith that Anakin has the strength to overcome any fears he has, and will become an extraordinary Jedi. Most of those on the council now share my belief."

"Thank you, Qui-Gon." She lowered her eyes as she added, "I'm sorry."

"For what," he asked, nonplussed at her apology.

"For doubting you."

He reached out once more to take her hand, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze. When their eyes met, he fought back the urge to lean over to kiss her.

Slowly...

Reluctantly...

He pulled his hand away, his fingers stroking the back of her hand as he did so. He found it even harder to peel his gaze from hers. He swallowed before turning the subject of the conversation back to its original subject. "So, does Naboo sound like a good idea?"

"Yes, at least temporarily until I figure out where I wish to settle permanently." She shook her head as she added, "I... never thought this day would come."

"What's that," he wondered.

"I never thought I'd be deciding on where to go. I mean, it's never been an option for me. Before I was a slave, my parents made the decisions, and then my masters dictated where I lived. Even though I was almost freed twice before, I had never had a chance to give much thought on where I would go once it came about." She smiled at him. "Thank you."

Qui-Gon nodded wordlessly in acknowledgement of her gratitude. "So you came close to freedom twice? How, and what stopped you?"

"Before Ani was born, one of my masters was going to free me, but she died before she could, and her relatives were not inclined to carry out her wishes. The second time was actually a couple weeks before you returned to free me." Pain crossed her features, and she looked away from him as she continued in a subdued tone, "A moisture farmer befriended me, and he and his son were going to attempt to purchase me from Watto in trade for a tobal lens, planning to free me after the trade. However, when they were headed toward Watto's shop, they were accosted by a street criminal who shot and killed..." Her voice broke, and she began weeping. Getting up, she ran from the cockpit.

The Jedi was quick to rise and followed her. She stopped at the exit ramp, leaning against the wall beside the opening. "Shmi," he whispered as he stopped behind her. He gently rubbed her back as her shoulders were wracked with heavy sobs. He held her when she turned and wrapped her arms around him, saying nothing as he continued caress between her shoulder blades.

Once she stopped crying she pulled away, still sniffling slightly.

"I'm sure Cliegg would be glad to know you're finally free," he said softly, hoping to encourage her.

Shmi frowned at Qui-Gon. "How did you know his name? I didn't mention it."

Before he could formulate an answer, a sudden disturbance in the Force brought him to his knees. A scream of anguish escaped his lips, "Anakin!"