Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, it's been twelve years since I last updated. Yes, I have excuses. No, I will not bore you with them. Yes, I will remind you what happened last time because be honest, you have no fucking clue, do you?

Previously: Ouchie my hand. Doc, you sexy. Here, have a crib. It's a boy! Something's up with Sam. Cas. Cas. Cas. Movie, burgers, Twister, kiss.

Now that you're caught up, please read and review! Thanks!


"Yellow, Jess? Yellow, really?" Dean sipped his mocha Frappuccino disapprovingly.

He trailed behind Jessica, who held up a soft yellow onesie with a lion face smiling in the middle. They stood in the baby section of Target, where Jess had somehow coaxed him into shopping with her, while Sam was once again dragged away with client business. Jess would pick up any and every article of baby clothing and coo about how tiny and cute it was.

"But look at the little lion. See? It's fuzzy!" She brushed the lion's mane with her finger. Entertained by it, she set the onesie on top of the stack of clothes already in the cart. Dean winced like he had just been shot.

"My nephew is going to wear fuzzy yellow leotards."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Would it make you happy if I dressed my soon-to-be newborn in flannel and denim?"

A curvy brunette squeezed past Dean between the too-close clothing racks before he had a chance to give his snarky response. As she walked away, Dean's eyes fell on her backside. Jess saw and folded her arms. "Really?"

He didn't seem to hear her, so she smacked his arm. He flinched and glared at her as he held his assaulted limb. "What was that for?"

"This is why you're still single, Dean."

"Maybe not for much longer." He kept eye contact with her as he slurped the remainder of his Frappuccino. She eyed him questioningly.

"Wait…what do you mean?"

He shrugged and smiled before spinning on his toe and stalking away. "Hold on. Wait, Dean!"


"One chicken BLT and a bacon cheeseburger?"

"The burger goes to me." Dean leaned back as the waiter set down the food for Jess and him.

The young man smiled kindly at the two of them. "Do you guys need—"

"No. That's good, thanks," Jess answered quickly and waved a hand to dismiss him. "Okay, Dean. Spill."

"Spill what?" Dean chomped on his burger and chewed it slowly in appreciation of its meaty flavors. He loved bacon and beef so much he didn't even want to think about what his cholesterol level will be when he's fifty. This bacon cheeseburger was good. Great, even. But still not as good as Cas's stuffed burgers.

"The date, Dean. You said you'd tell me about it if I took you to Biggerson's."

"Is that what I said?" He was already regretting it.

"Yes. It is." She looked around the room as if to double-check they were in the right place. "We are at Biggerson's," she confirmed.

Dean set down the cheeseburger and folded his hands in front of him. I'm volunteering to dig my own grave, he thought. "What would you like to know?"

Jess stared at him disbelievingly. "Well, how about what's her name? And how did you meet her? Is that who you've been texting all day? What's she like? Feel free to start with any of those."

"You sure do ask a lot of questions, Jess."

"You promised."

Dean sighed and rubbed his chin. This was going to be harder than he thought; her most basic assumptions were already incorrect…but he wanted to tell someone. And Jess was the only person with which he could feel somewhat comfortable talking about this.

"Before I say anything, you have to promise you won't tell Sammy."

Jess raised her eyebrows. "Don't tell Sam? Why would you not want him to know about a simple date?" She then paused and gave him an accusing glance. "Was it with one of his old girlfriends or something? Or do we know her already? Oh my god we do know her don't we?"

Dean scratched nervously at his ear. Crappity crap crap crap.

"Just promise me, Jess."

"Okay. Fine. I promise." She held her hands up in sincerity. Dean sighed again.

"Alright I'm just gonna say it. Four nights ago, I went out with Dr. Novak. We went to see a movie, ate at his house, and…that's pretty much it." Dean felt too awkward to mention Twister or the kiss. "To answer your earlier question, yes, that's who I've been texting." He then shoved his burger into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else.

"Doctor Novak…." She said slowly, apparently failing to remember where she'd heard that name before. Instead of jogging her memory, Dean just watched her until the light clicked on behind her eyes.

"Your hand. The cute surgeon, Dr. Novak."

"That's the one."

"The guy."

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Jess stared at Dean as if she didn't hear him correctly. They sat in silence for a moment while she poked absent-mindedly at her sandwich. "Well this is embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed."

"Not you, I mean me. I assumed things, and I'm sorry. I just didn't know that you were…so open-minded."

Dean scoffed, nibbling awkwardly on a french fry.

"So Sam doesn't know about your - erhm, bi-ness?" She grimaced at her made-up word.

"No. Of course, neither did I until I met Cas." And he can go straight to hell for it.

"Cas? Is that really his name or is that supposed to be short for something?"

"It's short for Castiel. But apparently I'm the only one to call him that."

Jess grinned widely. "One date and you already have a personal nickname for him? That's adorable."

"Shut up." Dean used his cheeseburger to hide his flushing cheeks.

"What's he call you? SarDean? Deandilion? Deanie baby?" Dean gave Jess his best 'not amused' face, but it only encouraged her. "Deanasaur? Big D with the big D?"

"That's enough, Jess."

She leaned back in her chair and stroked her prominent tummy. "I'm imagining it now. You and the cute doctor…I haven't even really seen you two together and I already love it."

He smiled to himself as he stole one of Jess's untouched potato chips. "I gotta be honest, I didn't expect you to be so chill about this."

"Chill? As opposed to what?"

He simply shrugged at her question.

"You want me to act like I'm disappointed or some shit like that? Let's be real, Dean. Did you really think I'd give a fuck as to who you're attracted to?" The mother of a young child sitting in a nearby table shot Jess a dirty look for her language, and Jess returned it unabashed before adding, "And you know Sam wouldn't, either."

Dean raised his hand up to flag the waiter for a drink refill. "You're right. It's just something I need to tell him myself, you know?"

The waiter refilled Dean's soda and returned it to him; Jess watched intently as Dean chugged the Coke. Suddenly quiet, she frowned as she remembered something. He went to ask what's wrong when she blurted, "Sam's been drinking."

He nearly choked on an ice cube at her statement, and coughed a few times into his napkin. "S-Sam….drinking? Like alcohol?"

"No Dean. Fucking grape juice."

He ignored her sass. "Why?"

Jess just shrugged, appearing distant.

He studied her face, her slight frown darkened the room. "Is it—is it bad?"

She stared blankly at him, expression unreadable. "If he doesn't find anything at home, he'll head to the bar. They all know his name there." She began tracing patterns into the table with her fingernail as she continued, "But usually he'll spend his evening in front of the TV with beer or scotch...It's not like him, you know?"

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Dean offered earnestly.

She shook her head. "I'm thinking it's just work, it's really stressing him out. This is still only his first year as a proper attorney," she reminded him.

Dean eyed her for a moment, wondering if there was more to the story. He had become very close with Jess since she married his brother, so he had no problem siding with her if Sam was being an ass. "He's not…causing any trouble with it, is he?"

"I don't want to get into any serious arguments with him, so I usually don't say much," she admitted.

"But it bothers you."

"I won't lie and say it doesn't….but I'm sure it's just a temporary solution for him. An outlet for the stress of work and preparing for the baby."

Dean nodded slowly, still uncertain. Why was she making excuses for him? "You just let me know if I need to beat him senseless."

"Yeah, okay."

"Promise?"

She hesitated a moment, then nodded in agreement. "Promise."

The waiter set down their check, and Dean snatched it out of Jess's hand.

"Now I was supposed to be the one to take you to Biggerson's," she protested.

"It's only 15 bucks, I got it."

"So you're not going to get pecan pie this time? Who are you and what have you done with Dean?" she joked, despite her slightly spoiled mood.

"I have pie at home," he told her.

"Store-bought is just not the same." She quoted him from a few months earlier, when he complained that some cookies Sam purchased didn't come close to the chocolate-chip ones Jess made on occasion.

"I know. It's homemade."

"You baked?" She asked disbelievingly.

He actually laughed out loud. "Hell no. Cas made it."

"Oh I see. It has nothing to do with sexuality; he told you he would make you pie and you immediately fell for him."

Dean would have replied with sarcasm, but he realized what she just said was surprisingly accurate. His silence made her crack up.

"Oh my God, that's what happened, didn't it? He lured you in with freakin' pie! I should have known!"

"It was damn good, too." Dean made his way to the register, leaving a cackling sister-in-law behind. He momentarily worried if he was really that much of a shallow glutton.

Jess made her way up to the counter and nudged Dean's back. "You do know you're going to tell me all about it on the way back home, right? No details spared."


Later that evening, Dean received the chance to see his real-life Dr. Sexy again. They decided that a simple walk outside by the university campus was sufficient. Dean waited by a fountain, watching the water shoot upwards and fall down a bubbly substance, the impact of the fall created a soft mist. Coins covered the bottom of the fountain, and Dean could only assume what college students wished for. Good exam grades. Scholarships. Love. Money for tuition. Roommates to move away. Money for anything at all.

"It's amazing how people still carry out the water-wishing tradition after thousands of years."

Dean turned to find Castiel standing beside him, with hands stuck halfway in his jean pockets.

"We have a tendency of grabbing every sliver of hope we can get our hands on," He stated, still dazed by the bubbling and splashing of the fountain. He closed his eyes, and before he could stop it, a flashback to his childhood flooded his mind.

It was the evening of November 2, 1990. Dean and Sam stood in front of the pretty tile fountain at a park in west Lawrence. It was the anniversary of their mother's death, and their father was out getting drunk somewhere, as he usually did, but he acted the worst on this particular day of the year. Dean pulled a nickel out of his coat pocket and held it up in the fading sunlight. He had stolen a ten dollar bill out of his father's wallet in order to purchase Sammy a new pair of sneakers, and this nickel was part of the change he received from the cashier at the outlet store. He nudged the youngest Winchester and placed the nickel in the boy's palm. "Make a wish, Sammy." The seven-year-old looked up at his brother and smiled before making his way to the fountain's edge. He closed his eyes for a brief moment then tossed the coin into the water. "What did you wish for?" Dean asked him.

"If I tell you then it won't come true," insisted Sam. Dean hoped that whatever it was, Sam would receive his wish. He took out the last coin in his pocket, an old penny, and held on to it as tightly as his eyelids were closed. Please give me the courage to stand up to my Dad when he gets angry at me and Sammy, he wished silently. The coin flew from his fingers and disappeared beneath the foamy surface of the water. Dean watched the fountain for a moment, not really believing it had any sort of wish-granting powers, but he thought he must at least give it a shot. He slung an arm around his brother's shoulder and led him to the playground portion of the park, wanting to prolong their time away from home in case their father was there waiting for them.

"You alright over there?"

Dean pushed away his thoughts and turned to Cas. "Yeah I'm fine. Just...thinking. Anyway, how's life at the hospital going?"

"Chock full of innocent people suffering. You know, the usual."

"Well aren't you just a big ball of sunshine," Dean retorted.

"It's my positive outlook on life that keeps me young," Cas replied with flawless sarcasm.

"That and all the philandering you do with younger boys."

"I'm only two years older than you, Dean."

"So you admit you're trying to philander with me. I don't appreciate being objectified." Dean crossed his arms and tried to hold a serious face, but it slipped into a grin when Cas started laughing at him. He realized at that moment Castiel didn't laugh too often, but when he did his nose wrinkled and his smile grew wide, causing dimple lines in his cheeks. Dean thought he probably had the most charming little chuckle on the planet.

The pair walked alongside each other around the almost empty park; Dean managed to get Cas to open up about his most recent ex, Lance Crowley, who he'd broken up with due to betrayal seven months prior to this night. Dean couldn't think of any reason why anyone would want to cheat on Cas, he was such a sweet, awesome guy who was anything but boring. As Dean was telling the tale of his Lisa Braeden era, he could feel the doctor walking slightly closer to him now, to the point of grazing shoulders. Their fingers brushed together once, twice. His brain went into overdrive, as it usually did with close proximity to Castiel. It became apparent that Cas wanted to hold hands with Dean, but the now overly self-conscious mechanic withdrew his hand to scratch awkwardly at his neck. He hoped Cas would dismiss the small rejection, ignore it and carry on. But, as fate would have it, he would not let this one slide. Cas stopped suddenly and turned towards Dean, the setting sun behind him creating a golden outline of his handsome features. "What type of relationship are you looking for, Dean? I'm not clear on what it is from me that you seek."

Where'd that come from? Dean wondered briefly as Castiel's ocean blue eyes searched his. I thought it was pretty clear that I….Wait, what do I want? Dean knew he wanted a meaningful relationship…Right? And he knew he wanted one from Cas….Didn't he? His uncertainty must have been displayed clearly across his face, because Cas then shook his head in slight annoyance. Dean jumped when a vibration in his pocket startled him out of his thoughts, and he broke eye contact to fumble with his phone.

"Sorry, let me just – one second." He saw the name Jessica Winchester light up across the screen, and exhaled sharply in irritation. I talked to her earlier, what the hell does she want now? He tapped the answer button and stared at the ground as he answered. "What's up, Jess?"

"Dean." He immediately noticed her voice was off, too high-pitched. "Dean, I don't know where he went." His head shot up when he realized something was very, very wrong.

"Jess, are you crying? What are you talking about?" He noticed Cas's eyebrows furrow in concern.

"We had a fight and he just…left."

"Left where?"

"I don't know," she repeated.

"You said he usually goes to the bar, you think he went there?"

"No."

"Which one does he go to, the Roadhouse?"

"No, Dean."

"Which one, then?"

"No. No. Dean he – he took a bag."