(A/N: I'm glad that you guys have stuck with me this far, I'm not adding any new warnings as yet, but that doesn't mean that there won't be some soon. So without more rambling, on with the show!)
A Cold Sleep
Part 7
Harry felt himself drifting off, his eyelids were heavy and the warmth had truly settled over him like a blanket. The book could wait, he supposed, beside him Tom shifted, a sound that was unmistakably a snore issued from his lips. A long sigh accompanied an arm that settled around his middle and Harry almost blinked himself awake, instead he allowed himself to roll with it and relaxed into Tom's hold as sleep finally claimed him.
It was probably the most comfortable nap that he had ever taken, of course he had never actually slept curled up with someone before. When he woke it was to Tom's entire body curled around him, holding him close, breathing softly, but not evenly enough that Harry believed he was asleep.
"You're comfortable," Tom said softly, bowing his head so that his cheek rested against the top of Harry's head.
"You too. I don't think I can think of you as some big bad Dark Lord though, when you're this cuddly and you let me call you Tom, you can't really be that bad, can you?" Harry said and chuckled, all but smirking when Tom let out an exasperated sigh.
"Tom's my name, Voldemort is my persona. But you know there's a difference. Dark isn't always evil, Light isn't always good. I've done terrible things, yes, I can't excuse that, even if I wasn't myself at the time, some part of me still did them. I found my way into Dark magic through blood rituals, trying to track down my birth parents, to ask them why. But I also found a means to punish those that had hurt me for so long, and I did not take the high road, I had my revenge," Tom's hand spread out along Harry's chest, holding him tightly. "Only, once I was recruited by Dumbledore, things got so muddled, I maintained my original goal of extended life, but somewhere along the way…something changed. I knew I was corrupted, but I couldn't stop it. Still I gained followers, somehow, having people that relied on me; it kept me from getting too far off track. When Dumbledore turned on me, publicly denounced me, I realized how far I had fallen. I didn't know how to change it then and I continued to spiral. It took me so long to come back to myself, to start fixing the damage I had done. And then he sent me after you and I died with my work unfinished. It was only once you brought me back that I was able to restore myself, only then was I really myself again. I really am that bad Harry," Tom said softly, his body tense, his fingers having clenched into the material of Harry's shirt.
"But you got better; you got out from under Dumbledore. He's the truly evil one. If you hadn't been taken in by him, you might not have done those awful things," Harry said and rolled over, looking into Tom's eyes, not caring that they were pressed together still. Tom's hand trembled slightly as he allowed himself to touch Harry's face, closing his eyes against the sincerity in those glowing green eyes.
"Your capacity to forgive is truly staggering. No wonder Dumbledore fears you, the lie he has lived so long, defender of the Light, it's who you are. And yet, here you are, in the arms of a Dark Lord," Tom said softly, blue eyes opening again waiting to see the anger in the other man's face. Harry only smiled at him.
"There is no Dark without Light, no Light without Dark, that's the power he knows not, that we are stronger together than we are alone," Harry said softly, his own interpretation of the prophecy causing a smile to blossom across Tom's lips.
"Sometimes I think I could kiss you," Tom said with a slight chuckle, his cheeks slightly tinged pink at the brazenness of his comment.
"Well I'm certainly not going to stop you," Harry responded, smiling at the look of shock that played over Tom's face.
"Really?" Tom asked softly and Harry simply gave a bob of his head. It was with that assurance that Tom leaned in and sealed their lips together; wrapping both of his arms around Harry and holding him close. Harry responded in kind, kissing Tom back with equal fervor, sliding his hands into the other man's hair and holding on through the wave of euphoria that crashed into him. He didn't protest when Tom gained the leverage to tip him onto his back, instead he tilted his head up so that their mouths fit together even more completely and relished the taste of increasingly deep kisses.
"I've been waiting for that," Harry said, tangling his fingers in Tom's hair and smiling brilliantly.
"Have you?" Tom asked, leaning down and kissing Harry softly, the barest brush of lips.
"Kind of, yeah, I mean, for a few years now," Harry responded and blushed fiercely at the look of confusion that caused Tom's eyebrows to vanish beneath his now thoroughly tousled hair.
"Years? Harry, whatever can you mean," Tom said, stroking his thumb along the other man's jaw, staring down into green eyes with rapt attention.
"I met you, in my second year, well, not you, but a Horcrux I suppose. The diary, I think he probably wasn't quite right, being stuck in a book and all. But he was really charming and attractive and, I mean, not right away but after a year or so, I kept remembering you, or him," Harry sputtered, his face absolutely burning with embarrassment. Tom stroked flushed cheeks and pressed his forehead against Harry's.
"That couldn't have been easy for you, being attracted to someone you believed to be your greatest enemy. It shouldn't have been a monster like me," Tom said softly, one hand sliding down to rest over Harry's hammering heart.
"But you aren't a monster, I mean, I was a bit conflicted, but not because it was you. I didn't understand it, because I had been attracted to girls too, and I thought maybe something was wrong with me, liking both, you know? My family, well my Uncle and Aunt, they always said that there were good honest people and then there were deviant freaks who liked people of the same gender. And I didn't know what to think. I thought, maybe I was broken, or that I really was a freak. It wasn't like I ever got 'the talk' and I didn't know how anything worked really. And then Draco and I talked and he pointed out that I was probably bisexual and he had to give me a whole lecture on how it's normal and all that and I shouldn't be ashamed and, yeah, that's where the problem was, not that it was you," Harry said quickly, between rapid draws of breath to keep himself going.
Tom waited patiently, his hands still working to soothe the panic in the other man. There had to be some form of punishment for the relatives that had treated Harry in such a manner. Of course he'd already thought about such a thing when the Patronus had found him and urged him out into the world to find its caster. Seeing Harry curled up, almost dead from cold and hunger, it had nearly been enough to send him up the road to kill the relatives then and there. But now, seeing the complete medical report that Severus and Narcissa had compiled and hearing what those people had done to him for so long, his resolve was fortified. He'd spare the cousin, but the Uncle and Aunt needed to go.
"Oh Harry," Tom whispered, and kissed the other man, holding him close and once again marveling at the level of compassion and love and trust and hope that existed inside of him.
(A/N: Well that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed it and will leave me a comment or a review. I really do love hearing from you guys.)
