A/N: Guys I am sooo sorry about the slow updates I've been super busy lately with school and some other stuff, so here I hope it's been worth the wait and I will try really super hard to update faster this time. Please review!
Thanks! Emjoy :)
Chapter Seven
Scorpius POV
I woke up to the sun shining through the window hitting my bare back. The room was quiet and for a moment I felt peaceful. I felt around the bed, keeping my eyes closed, looking for Rosie's little body, but the bed next to me was empty. When I realised she wasn't there I panicked. I jumped out of the bed, looking around the room for a sign to where she could have gone, but there was no sign of her anywhere in the room. It was only 6, no one would be up yet. As I dressed my stomach started growling so I decided that I would go down to the kitchens before heading out to look for Rose in all of her usual places, and since the kitchen was one of them, it wouldn't be too much of an issue.
I swiftly pulled on my dark blue genes and a grey long sleeved t-shirt along with my converse runners. I made my way down through the quiet, chilly corridors, the only sound being my footsteps echoing softly off of the cold stone walls. I loved this place, the castles spoke to me, the ancient ways of it's existence and it's solidity. I felt secure in such a unmoveable place. It kept me grounded when I felt alone and wasn't sure where I was going in my life. I knew all of the castles nooks and crannies and twists and turns and secrets and faults and I loved it. In my first year I had gone around the castles touching and looking at and talking to the portraits hanging in the halls, which is how I found the entrance to the kitchens.
I tickled the little green pair and stepped back as the door swung open, revealing the bustling kitchen. I ducked inside and was ambushed by Swinks.
"Good morning Scorpius!" She squeaked, bustling around my knees and rushing me towards the table in the back. Swinks was rambling on and on about how the other elves won't let her do any work, but I wasn't really listening. My mind was wandering, worrying about Rose. Where would she have gone? Was she okay? I had no way of knowing until I found her. I had to find her.
"Swinks?" I asked, interrupting her rambles. She has brought me my usual food, an enormous pile of hash browns with waffles and a bagel with cream cheese.
"Yes?" She asked, her voice sounding worried suddenly.
"I really don't want to be rude, but I'm very distracted this morning, would it be okay if I ate in silence? I promise I will come back soon and you can tell all about what's going on with all these meany elves okay?" I said, winking at her. She gave me her gap toothed smile and a nod and walked away to go clean up. I sat alone and finished my food quickly, leaving the kitchen and giving swinks a little wave and a smile before I left.
I walked up the the great hall to start looking for Rose there and on my way I thought about where she would go, and came to the conclusion that she would have gone down to the lake. I made my way outside. The morning was cold and misty, clouds covered the sun. I pushed my hands into my pockets and hunched my shoulders in an effort to resist the cold. The fog was incredibly dense, rolling off the lake in curls and puffs. It was so thick that I could just barely see the tree tops of the dark forest only about twenty meters away. I walked towards the lake and spotted Rose standing by the bank watching the fog dance off the water. She was wearing my sweatshirt and in all honesty she looked quite adorable. He red wavy hair tumbled down her back, all the way down to her hips. It swung forward over her shoulders as she leaned forward over the water.
"Rose?" I called to her as I approached. She jumped at the sound of my voice and her head snapped up in my direction. I was surprised to see the fear in her eyes.
"What do you want?" She said to me, as I stopped walking, standing three feet in front of her.
"I woke up and you weren't there? I got worried I had to make sure you were okay and I figured this is where you would come." I said cautiously, as she seemed very on edge and I feared if I made the wrong move I would set her off. "Are you okay?" I asked her, hesitantly.
"I'm fine." She stated, turned her face away from me. "Leave me alone, Scorpius."
"Why?" I asked, feeling hurt that she wanted me away.
"Just go away." She said turning and walking away from me.
"Rosie!" I called after and she stopped, turning her face so I could just barely see the paleness of her skin, her jaw bone, and that one of her beautiful big green eyes was looking sideways at me. "Why are you being like this? What's wrong?"
She turned on me quickly and I abruptly stopped the step I had been about to take towards her. "What's wrong?" She said in a deadly quiet voice. "What's wrong is that I trust you. What's wrong is that I let you see a side of me that no one has ever seen, and what's wrong is that I have no reason to trust you." Her voice had risen now, and she was yelling.
"Rosie-" I started to say but she cut me off.
"No. You don't get to say anything. You asked me what's wrong so you are going to hear my full answer and if you interrupt me I will leave and not talk to you again." I nodded at her to show that I understood and would respect this.
"Scorpius, you have hurt me more times than you could possibly imagine. You and your stupid girlfriend bimbos and you ignoring me and you never make time for me anymore and all I wanted all I ever fucking wanted Scorpius was for you to want me back. I didn't know what to do, I never thought it could happen, no one has wanted me my whole life, so why would you. I'm just an ugly whiny bitch who isn't worth a damn and is too damaged to love. I get it. So before you get my hopes up and then my heart gets broken and I'm too hurt to continue living just go, and don't ever speak to me again."
By the time she was done there were tears running down her face but her voice had impressively remained steady. She was now looking down at the ground, shaking with silent sobs while tears dripped off of her delicate nose. My body ached to move to her and wrap her in my body and kiss away her tears. But boding her warning from before I said, "Rose can I talk now?"
She Nodded. I started to slowly move towards her so that I didn't scare her.
"Rosie, honey, I had those girlfriends because I was trying to survive. I am so madly in love with you and I thought you would never feel the same. You kept to yourself so much I just thought you didn't want to be bothered by me. I had to fill my time to distract myself from the fact that I couldn't have you. I just wanted you that all just you, you, you, you. I want you Rose."
She was looking at me now, her brow furrowed and tears still present in her eyes. "But why? Why would anyone want me?" She asked me, her voice shaking now.
"Why?" I said, sounding slightly amused by accident. "Rose you are so beautiful, every part of you from your hair to your toes to your scars. You are so thoughtful, and kind and you make me happy by just smiling at me. You always take care of people.. it's amazing. You are amazing. But Rosie, you need someone, you need me. I can take care of you. You can't do this alone. You have had such a hard life, and I am here now. I want to take care of you, I want to help you heal. You aren't too damaged."
"You have no idea how damaged I am." She murmured looking back down at her feet.
"I don't care. When it comes to you how ever damaged you are it will never be too much." I tentatively touched her arm. To my great relief she didn't jump away from me, letting out on a small flinch.
"I'm having a really hard time believing you Scorpius. I just don't see that at all. I can't let myself believe you incase you are lying to me."
"I can prove it." I said. "Let me prove it to you?" I asked. She nodded.
I stepped back from her slightly, and tried to roll my sleeve up above my bicep, when that failed, as I figured it would, I pulled off my shirt. Goosebumps erupted on my skin as the cold air hit it. I dropped the garment on the ground and I held out my left arm to Rose.
"Look" I said simply, tipping my head slightly to my arm.
She stepped closer to me and I watched her face as she took in what was in front of her.
Rose POV
I looked at Scor's arm and what I saw brought tears to my eyes. There were scars on his shoulders and arms. A lot of scars. Faded and white. But on his left bicep was what caused me to catch my breath in a sob. In jagged letters, etched into his arm, were the words I love Rose. I took a ragged step back from him my hand going to cover my mouth trying to hide the sobs. I leaned down over my knees, and pressed my hands over my face to gather myself for a moment. I was thankful that he didn't say anything. After a few minutes I straightened and stepped in close to him. I touched his arm where the words were written. When I tipped my head back and looked up into his eyes, which were shining with unshed tears.
"Scorpius..." I whispered. I didn't know what to say.
"There's more..." He said quietly. He lifted his arm up, showing me is ribcage. There it said only her forever and then I started looking and I noticed one right about his hip that said I will love her always then there was another that said simply love her. I was beyond myself now. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. I held him to me as tears streamed down my face. And then I started to feel his shoulders start to shake and he pressed his face into my neck. I could feel his tears on the bare skin of my neck. I pulled away from him gently, but just enough so that he was standing up straight again, but our bodies were still pressed against each others.
"You really love me" I said. It wasn't a question. Just a statement. I had to let it sink in. The boy of my dreams loved me. He loved me. Me. I couldn't believe it. He was nodding at me, smiling slightly at me as a tear slowly slid down his cheek. I wiped it away, gently.
"Rose can I ask you something?" He said quietly as a serious look came over his face. My stomach instantly dropped and dread shot through my limbs. I nodded though, trying to keep my composure.
"Will you, well, like, would you like to be my girlfriend?" He was blushing. For real blushing. He was the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen. But being his girlfriend? What if I messed up? What if he started dating me then figured out he liked me better as a friend? What if he hurt me? What if I hurt him? I stood there watching him, not sure what to say. "Rosie, all of those what if's that you are thinking of right now, just don't. They aren't going to happen."
"But-" I started to protest.
"No" he said
"Yeah but-"
"Be my girlfriend" He was smiling now
"But-"
"Rosie be my girlfriend" I was starting smile and laugh a little.
"Fine" I said laughing now. He beamed at me and I felt his big strong hand grasp me around my waist holding my hips. He lifted me up and was holding me above his head and spun me around. My hair tumbled down and over my shoulders and almost tickled his face. I smiled down at him. I really smiled. For the first time in years. This boy... just him. He made me so happy. But also so sad. It was slightly scary how much I depended on him for my happiness. Actually no. It was terrifying.
He lowered me down slowly and my arms fell around his neck and his arms went around my waist. He held me to his chest and I rested my cheek on his shoulder. He was so tall that my feet were dangling above the ground. I loved this boy. This amazing person. I just didn't understand. How could we have both been so dumb to just not even think that it's possible that the one of us liked the other?
Right now I didn't care. I was in the arms of the boy who loved me so much he felt the need to carve it into his body. His scars showed his love for me. It was a beautiful and terrible thing. I had never thought there could ever be someone who would love me this much. I had always figured that I'd be settling for some guy who abused me in every way and had a substance abuse problem. A guy who was going nowhere in life and would keep me from going to what small places I could go in life. But now here I am. In Scorp's arms.
I turned my head towards his neck and gave it a small nuzzle.
"Scorpius?" I asked.
"Yes, Rose?" He replied slowly pulling back to look me in the face.
"You know that like now that this happened it doesn't really make me magically all better right? I still, I guess I'm still damaged and stuff. You can't just forget about that."
"Rosie I know that. Incase you didn't notice I've sustained a good amount of damage myself." He said. I had noticed. the scars littering his arms and shoulders and hips were hard to overlook.
"I noticed" I murmured pulling him back into me, in an attempt to comfort him.
"But Rose, my point is that I love you, no matter what. I will do anything it takes to prove that to you." And with that he pulled me away from his chest and planted a claimin, intense kiss on my lips, like his lips were a man on death row, and I was his last meal.
