Hey, you(:
Well, first of all, thanks to all those who subscribed and are following, and of course to those who reviewed (you guys are the ones that make me do a happy dance!). I was going to ask you, because I've seen many authors do it, if you guys prefer me to reply to your reviews on a private message or would you rather have me post my reply at the beginning of a chapter? It's up to you, of course! I tried to make this chapter both serious and funny at the same time; so, you tell me how I did!(:
I hope you enjoy and that you find it entertaining.
First five cuts are Hermione's, and the other five are someone elses[: (You'll see whose they are), then, the last one is another Hermione point of view...
A/N: I own none of the characters or recognized names; what I do own is the plot, and all other things.
"You didn´t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
Now and then I think of all that time
You screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something
That I´d done"
-Gotye
Vous Préférez Je Lui Dire?
You're a coward
A week had passed since I had last seen and heard from Fleur, but I guess that's expected, since she had made it perfectly clear she wanted me to make a decision.
"I need to think, alright?"
After the French blonde woman had left and I had fallen into my small depression and fed off of my thoughts, Ronald had come home with great news.
Awesome
"Love; 'Mione, are you home?" I heard him ask; his voice travelling throughout the cottage 'till it reached my ears all the way in the master bedroom.
His tone seemed excited as if it had something to do with quidditch or any other sport. For a second he reminded me of the child like Ron I knew, but I knew it couldn't be. Ron had grown up, and had turned into a wonderful, young man.
I got off the bed, and walked out the room before I hollered at him in a faint, cheerful voice.
"Be right there, darling," I said as I pulled the door shut with my ankle and walked towards the stairs.
He was waiting down at the last step; flowers held in one hand and the other casually tucked into his front pocket as he smiled at me.
Oh, no…
Flowers
Guilt suddenly dawned on me, and images of Fleur and me invaded my mind; thank God he wasn't good neither at Occlumency or Legilimency. A fake smile placed itself atop my lips as I reached him, and he carefully leant in to peck my lips; quickly withdrawing.
"How was your time with Fleur, girlie?" he asked out of thin air as he extended the flowers to me, and pulled me by the hand to sit by him on the couch; the exact same spot where Fleur had been seated hours ago.
I mouthed a quick 'thank you' as I inspected the flowers, and caressed his hand in between my fingers; I didn't want to look at him.
I refused to.
"We had fun; George stopped by as well, so, yeah…"I told him as I looked at the one of the flower petals.
Why did they have to be flowers…?
Just like…Fleur.
Why couldn't they be…books or, maybe even chocolate? Not that that I was unappreciative of them, it's just it reminded me her.
"That's wonderful, babe," he began excitedly again as he threw himself back; relaxing against the cushioned couch while keeping my hand in his." It's good you feel better than yesterday…" He trailed off; smile still placed on his lips.
After a couple of seconds of grinning at me, I slapped his arm softly, and leant back with him.
This was my best friend; even if I didn't love him that way, I still loved him, and there were times like this that I definitely appreciated.
"Alright, spit it out," I encouraged him as I gave him my complete attention. "You're basically glowing, Ron…"
He chuckled at that, and raised my hand to his lips as he kissed it tenderly; love in his eyes.
"I'm not losing the job at the Ministry, 'Mi," he began enthusiastically as he straightened his back and leant towards me; his hands coming to rest at my waist. "I got promoted, Hermione!" He yelled happily as he hugged me against him.
I welcomed the embrace as I inhaled his so 'Ron-like-smell' and smiled happily into his neck.
"I'm so happy, Ron," I murmured into his pulse point," So glad for you."
He pulled back a bit, and his smiled brightened.
"I got promoted to Head of Department…" he kept going ecstatically, "for the Department of Magical Games and Sports, love!"
"Oh, Ron…!" As I pulled him close again. "Really, I'm so happy for you, darling. This will be great for you."
I assured him as he unexpectedly leant forward and pecked my lips with his; a bit startled I returned the loving gesture and kissed him softly.
"You're the best, Hermione," he whispered to me.
But suddenly he froze and I followed his line of sight.
Severus' letter lay on the ground completely forgotten.
Ron pulled completely away and crouched on the carpet picking it up and mumbling something about 'what's this…?' before drifting away into his thoughts to read it.
A few moments passed, and he looked up; an uneasy look in his eyes as he tried to find the right words to use.
"I'm sorry; when did it…?" he trailed off as he tried to finish his sentence, but miserably failed. He finally shook his head slowly and began speaking.
"People really don't choose who they fall in love with, do they…?"
I shook my head sadly as I joined him on the carpeted floor, and sat next to him; letting my head rest on his shoulder as I reached for the letter.
His hands came to rest at my side as he mouthed softly into my ear.
"I'm really, very sorry, 'Mi…"
I merely listened to his words as I nodded; refusing to cry.
So, now, here I was; lying down in bed without finding sleep.
Restless
Ron's soft snoring was what kept me from crying.
I hadn't made a decision in regards to Fleur, and I hadn't even talked to Severus yet.
Oh, and what I had planned for him…
Yep.
Plus all those letters he had sent me after I had deservedly refused to answer the first one; honestly, I was surprised he hadn't stopped by yet.
But maybe, just maybe, he had gotten the hint that I didn't want to speak with him just yet.
Fleur…well, she was another dilemma. I was grateful that she was giving me time, but at the same time I didn't want her to give me so much of it.
She was angry again, and this was her way of letting me know.
Another person I hadn't seen since then had been sweet George, but in difference from Fleur, we had spoken various times and he had even tried to knock some sense into me.
"Hermione, you gotta stop eating shit," George freely expressed through the cell's speaker as I heard the annoying ticking of the car's signal lights as he made a turn on the road. "How do you say it...? Oh, yeah, bullshitting around!"
I sighed softly as I realized he was right.
"I mean, listen," he told me as I heard him turn down the radio, "you know I care for you, for Fleur as well and that's why you have to make a…"
He trailed off as I heard the loud honking of his horn a few times; sounding a bit distant.
"George…?" I called on him, feeling confused as I couldn't even hear him anymore; only the honking.
Then, I heard…
"You bloody wanker!"
Yep, that sure was George piping at another driver.
"Don't you know what sodding signals are? Aren't you an educated English idiot?"
"Stuff it, ginger!"
I heard the offender yell at George as he, apparently drove off, and I couldn't help much but to giggle girlishly.
"Ginger..? Oi, you! Get back here; I'm not done with you...Love, let me call you back," he excused himself quickly and then the line went dead without giving me a chance to say goodbye.
I shook my head as I looked down at the phone smiling before deciding to hang back up.
George and Fred both had cell phones; they were my gifts to them. That way we could communicate a lot more; we could get a hold of each other anytime. So far, they liked the muggle technology as far as getting even more muggle-ish luxuries.
It was considered an advancement; at least they had agreed to try it unlike Ron...
George had a car (from Fleur; a Porsche 930), a cell phone (from me; a Danger Hiptop), a landline and a variety of Apple products. Fred had all plus a telly set minus the car as he was still learning how to drive.
Ronald didn't even want to get a cell; that's why he always owled.
I heard the sound of something vibrating coming from my right and looked over to my side table where my phone lay; either someone was calling me or I had received a text message. I glanced at the clock and it read 5:30 am.
If I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon might as well see who it was. I was very curious actually; everyone I knew would be asleep by now. I extended my hand over to my phone, the same one as George and Fred's, and pressed the side button which caused the screen to light up. It was a text message from an unknown number. My brows furrowed as I opened the message and read the text.
Come down and open the door, ma chérie. I'm outside.
I felt my heart speeding up as I finished reading it, and directed my eyes back to clock; 5:40 am.
Was she being serious?
I became startled when the phone vibrated two more times. Rubbing my eye, I looked back down to the screen.
It's cold outside.
Apparently, she was.
I turned my head around to check on Ron, and he was still asleep: head thrown back against the plump pillow as his mouth hanged open. I smiled at his sleeping form before I silently began getting out of bed; tucking my phone in my panty line. This was Ronald; sleep, eat, and work. I shook my head as I giggled like a school girl. Since being in my underwear wouldn't help, I reached for some pants, which were thrown at the foot of the bed, and put them on as I left the room barefoot.
I felt shivers surging down my spine as my feet made contact with the wooden stairs (my room had carpeted flooring); it was extremely cold. Realizing that it would be even colder outside, I hurried to the front door through the darkened room. Arriving at the door, I hesitated; why was she here?
Dismissing the question for now, I opened the door and found her standing by the main steps; though I couldn't see her with details, I could tell she was shaking from the chilly, morning air. As she got closer to me, I could see what she was wearing. She was in some black, skinny jeans, a white v-neck shirt, and a black, leather jacket as her blonde locks fell down her shoulders lazily. There was a huge contrast right now between her and me; I was in a pair of Slytherin pyjama shorts (from Severus; the man had insisted that we should compromise as he now owned a Gryffindor v-neck), and a dark gray tank top as my hair was tied up in a loose bun.
For a minute, I felt very self-conscious.
Seconds later, I noticed her car (a 2000 Mini Cooper S) parked by the distant road hidden by the trees' shadows; at least she hadn't walked.
"Are 'ou going to invite me in, ma belle?' she asked in a hush tone as she looked at me quietly.
I didn't trust myself to speak so I merely nodded at her question and stepped aside to let her come in. She walked passed me, and I peaked outside hurriedly before closing the door silently.
"Fleur, what are you doing here?" I asked her when I went back to the living room; she was seated on the couch as she waited for me. "It's late; well, technically early..." In my opinion, she seemed a bit nervous...or even anxious. Her hands lay on her lap as she played around with her fingers before looking up at me.
"'Ermione, love..." she began as I looked down at her. I could see small, ringlets of water at the corners of her eyes; she was already beginning to cry. "I tried to wait, but I couldn't; I can't." She stated in a broken voice, and for a second I thought she would openly cry.
"I just can't, ma chérie," Fleur said as she wiped her tears away. "I've waited long enough." She spoke softer now as she asked me," 'Ave 'ou made 'our decision?"
My eyes tried to seek hers out, but now she insisted on looking away; focusing her cerulean orbs on another object in the room.
I didn't know what to say to be honest.
Yes, I have given it some thought; hence why I was awake at this hour!
But, the real question was...had I given it enough thought? Could I hurt Ron the same way that I'd hurt Fleur by leaving him?
I walked over to the couch and sat next to her; I can't lie, I felt a bit awkward sitting there, especially in this unbearable silence. I looked down at her hands before reaching for them and grabbing one with mine; though, I never looked up.
I wanted to be with Fleur. I wanted to be Ron's friend forever. I wanted them both, but at the end...could I ever have them both?
"Non..." I heard her whisper as I looked at her; confused.
"Pardon...?" I asked her as to what she meant.
"'Ou can't 'ave us both, 'Ermione," she answered and I couldn't contain the expression of incredulity that invaded my features.
Had she performed...?
She shook her head before she gripped my hand tighter, but not very harsh; I guess she didn't want me to pull away now.
"I know 'ou, okay? I know zat 'ou want to, in ze end, keep us both..."she said and smiled sadly before looking down to are entwined hands "but 'ou can't, 'Ermione. It's either me or 'im."
I felt it; this was it, this would be the last time we would ever be talking about this again. I could feel it in the way she was acting.
Fleur wanted me to pick now; she had waited for a week, and for her that was enough.
I don't know if she let go of my hand out of defeat or because she didn't want to hold it anymore; all I know was that now I was back on feet standing before her. My breathing had hitched up as we looked at each other intensely in the eyes. Fleur still wore that sad smile on her lips as her eyes held mine.
"Fleur..."
Suddenly the sound of the clock striking interrupted my words, and that's when I knew that Ron would get up. Both of us looked up to the miniature version of the Big Ben in the living room; 6:10 am. There were soft thumps coming from upstairs before we both saw Ron walking down the wooden stairs wearing long, pyjama pants and a white t-shirt. His hair was all ruffled up, and when he passed by us he merely happily mumbled a quick "Morning, girlies" before disappearing into the kitchen.
After a couple of seconds of rummaging through the kitchen, I heard his voice calling on me.
"'Mione, babe, did ya eat already?"
My eyes were trained on Fleur when he asked the question, and if looks could actually kill, I would be lying on the carpeted floor; pulse less. I let go of her eyes for a moment before turning my head and directing my answer to him.
"No, Ron," I told him in a hurried tone, "I merely woke up."
All that was heard next was...
"I'll make us breakfast, mademoiselle," he said, and I swore if Fleur could, she would have screamed or even hexed him, but instead she only hissed at me angrily.
"Now 'e speaks French?" She spat at me as she got up the couch, "can't the boy be any less original?"
As I felt my eyes widen, she walked towards me and leant to brush her lips against my cheek, then approached my ear slowly.
"Do 'ou really want to be with a copy of me, 'Ermione?" she began as she nibbled on my earlobe.
She was going to make me lose my fucking mind.
"Why not just be with me; the original...?"
"Original what?" came Ron's voice from behind us.
I flinched, scared, but Fleur stood her ground in front of me. Her gorgeous eyes screamed "Tell him now, or else!" and I couldn't look away as I addressed Ronald.
"Nothing, Ron...well," I was a mental mess right now; For crying out loud...I was in the room with both of them at the same time! One was completely oblivious to the situation while the other was actually...the cause.
Was now really the time to talk about this, hadn't he just woken up!
"Vous préférez je lui dire?" You prefer that I tell him?
She threatened me in a low whisper as I stepped back from her with a hint of perplexity to my face. She wouldn't I thought, but I knew...she would.
"No, please, Fleur," I told her, but I think since my nerves were everywhere it came out as if I was begging. I turned around, trying to keep my dignity and strained my eyes on Ron's form. There was this look of total confusion on his face; he knew. Ronald Weasley was not a stupid man; he knew something was wrong...he sensed it.
Guiltily, my eyes travelled down to what he had held in his hand.
He was holding a tray full of food; four plates towered with eggs, bagels, bacon and strawberries and small plates filled with cream cheese. I couldn't help but feel bad instantly as I looked down; gulping.
He decided to clear his throat as he set the tray on the centre table.
"Ron," I began in a shaky voice as I tried to look up into his eyes again, but failed miserably.
"Préférez-vous que je lui dis au lieu de faire vous-même?…?" Do you prefer that I tell him instead of doing it yourself? I heard her ask me again in the same threatening tone and shook my head as I tried to think.
I think he sort of sensed what was coming...
"Does this have anything to do with what happened two day ago?"
"Food's ready, darling" I heard her voice calling on me from the kitchen as I sat by the window waiting to see if I would ever see the Weasley owl ever again.
"Be there in a second," I merely said.
Was it wrong of me as her friend to have wanted her to accept Bellatrix? Was it terribly wrong of me to have wanted Hermione to know about us? Was it really, really that bad that I had somehow fallen in love with Bellatrix Black?
I have owled Hermione a couple of times already, but she is yet to owl back or plainly is refusing to talk to me. I knew this would happen, and I wished I had had the...balls to have actually went and talked to her personally, but instead I had owled her and sent the invitation a week ago.
Say it.
Severus, you're a coward.
I was being one right now; only if Potter was here to say it to my face again, and make really sink in. The only difference would be that...now, he would be speaking the truth.
It was expected of Hermione to have taken the news badly, but I had still expected some sort of reply, even a howler; she was my...friend, after all.
Bella is worried; for me and for Hermione, but not for herself.
The raven, curly headed woman is concerned for our friendship because of what she did to Hermione during the war; all the suffering she caused the younger witch. Bella didn't want me and Hermione to stop talking; she didn't want me to lose Hermione, but at the same time I felt that if the younger woman left, then she wouldn't be really being a friend.
But then, I ask myself...how would I feel if Weasley had been my torturer and Hermione was marrying him? I'd feel betrayed; I really would.
That's how 'Mi felt.
"When will you tell her? You don't have to if you don't want to, Severus..." she asked and then suggested with a hint of uncertainty in her dark brown eyes.
"Of course I want to, Bella!" I yelled at her in complete frustration.
She was pushing me too hard; one moment she wanted me to tell Hermione, and the other she wanted me to back down; it was all because she was afraid, and mad.
She had tortured Hermione.
She had had to.
She didn't have a choice.
"But how can I tell her; what do you suggest, huh?" I ask her with a sardonic hint to my voice, and I regret it as soon as I see the hurt look in her eyes. I shake my head slowly; I'm not going to cry, but seeing the tears threatening to come down her cheeks breaks my heart. I look towards the floor. "Why her, Bella...?" I ask her in what came out as a strained whisper; the tears obviously clouding my voice...those same tears that were begging for release.
I didn't know she had walked up to me until I saw her bring herself up on her tiptoes (just like Hermione does) and felt the short woman's arm encircle my neck, and pull me closer in a tight embrace as her lips closed the distance with my ear. My arms instantly wrapped themselves around her waist as I hugged her.
"She wasn't my choice, love...I didn't have one, Severus," she whispered to me; her tears wetting my cheek.
I reached one of my hands up to her face and pulled slightly away from her, then moved my hand down to grip her chin. My eyes found hers, and I could see them full of regret shinning up at me.
"We all had a choice," I told her in a hard voice; I knew I was being harsh, but I was defending my friend. I knew I should be having her back as well. I just didn't know what to do. "You broke her, Bella."
I told her before I moved away.
As I left the room, I heard her murmur in a quiet and upset voice.
"Forgive me, Granger."
That won't work, Bella; Hermione has to hear it. She needs to believe it.
I needed to get away for a while, then when I could come back home again, I would be a bit calmer.
As a man I am ashamed to say this; even maybe embarrassed, but I just...needed to cry it out.
Cry it out; alone.
Bellatrix wants to speak with Hermione.
She isn't expecting the younger witch to forgive her anytime soon, but deep down inside, she really wants to be forgiven.
I know it'll be hard, difficult, for Hermione to accept that Bella is honestly sorry, that the older witch has actually changed, but I need, no, I want her to understand that I love Bellatrix and that this is what I truly want.
I want to marry Bellatrix, but I don't want to lose Hermione either.
It wasn't with Lily who I found true friendship with, but with that curly headed young woman.
"You're late, Severus," I heard her speak to me the second my feet touched the concrete ground. "Let's hope..."
Little chit; I was already prepared for her.
I sighed heavily and moved in to grasp her hand.
"I know, alright? Thank you, Ms. Obvious," I told her as I began to pull us out into the open; into the crowded sidewalks of Muggle London. I heard her snort softly behind me as we walked a bit faster, albeit I knew she was struggling to keep up; her legs were way shorter than mine causing my strides to be bigger.
"Severrus," I heard her squeak as we pushed through a big crowd and I almost let her slip away from me. After that instant, I just kept tugging at her small hand; not wanting to lose her.
Damn muggles...
"I thought you wanted us to hurry, Hermione?" I asked her without meaning to sound too snarky but it couldn't be helped.
"Hey, hey..."
"Forgive me," I told her as we made our way through an alley way; distancing ourselves from the crowded trails.
"It's okay, I suppose," she whispered playfully, "old habits die hard," she continued as she began to giggle and suddenly stopped beside me; tugging at my hand making me stop as well.
"Wait, now, let me take a good look at you," she told me in a determined tone, and just had to sigh once again, although I took the chance to look at her as well.
Hermione Granger was wearing a knee-length, pale, tiffany blue sundress with a low heart shaped chest line (showing off some of her cleavage) and a gray cardigan. Her legs, although not bare, were shielded by skin coloured tights as she wore silver, girlish oxfords. Her chestnut curls looked quite tamed today, for a change; very shiny and glossy looking, too. She wasn't wearing any make up, but that was expected; it was Hermione, after all.
"May I?" I heard her ask me and snapped out of my haze. Her hands were halfway in between us, and that's when I figured that she wanted to fix my tie. I hadn't worn one since my Hogwarts years and my mother's funeral and even then, I had used magic to tie it; which, did not really perfect the knot. I merely nodded at her, and saw how she smiled warmly at me before setting about in fixing my tie; pulling at it with her feminine fingers and adjusting it a lot better. The entire time she was fixing it, I looked straight ahead, so I didn't have to leave my eyes to wander on her.
I was wearing a dark green button up shirt, a black tie, a matching vest, and because she had insisted (and as much as I had wanted to, I could never deny Hermione anything; just like I could never deny Bellatrix anything either) black, tight, straight leg trousers with black oxfords. Also, my hair...was slicked back with something Hermione had given me weeks ago; I think she had called it mousse or gel, some shit like that, and had held it out of my face.
"There we go," she said as she straightened herself back up. Her smile brightened before she spoke in a fun, and juvenile voice, "Now we are ready."
"Where are you taking me, Hermione?" I asked as we started walking once again; this time she was the one dragging me in the other direction out of the alleyway back into another crowded sidewalk.
I had planned something for us if she hadn't, but she always did.
"Tonight?" she inquired, smile still on her lips in a secretive tone. I nodded impatiently as we turned on Fullham.
Hermione was always playful around me; ever since we started working together for the Order (1996) and had each other's backs, but it hadn't always been like that. We were student and teacher, and because we were so much alike in some ways we had to learn to trust each other, and we did. Now we rely on each other most of the time, and spend time together because I know Hermione will have to leave soon.
"Tonight, my dear Severus," she spoke as we rounded the corner and looked up at an old, royal looking building with a bright billboard with lettering on them, "we are going to the movies."
As we made the line to buy our tickets, Hermione explained to me that it was 50's night and that all the movies showing today would be from that era. When we got to the booth, the dunder head working there wouldn't stop looking at her, gawping, but Hermione didn't seem to notice or was completely ignoring him.
"So, what it this moovie about...?" I asked her as we approached the theatre doors, and before she could pull it open I had opened it for us both; if Hermione had been surprised by my manners, she decided to stay quiet.
"It's an American film, Severus," she told me in short laughter," and it's movie; don't roll the 'o'. It's a comedy film about the original movie monsters and how they are found out by two men, who...let's just say, are not the brightest."
"You've watched this film before then?" I asked as I followed her into one of the rooms and we scanned the rooms for seats.
"Yes," she spoke softly as we sat down somewhere in the middle of the rows, "with my parents."
"You didn't even tell me what it's called, Hermione," I said to her, and she giggled.
"Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein." She said and as if on cue, the lights in the place went off as the big screen lit up and started rolling.
That was actually my first time at the movies, and it had been with Hermione.
She was the first woman (beside my mother) who had really showed me love; she had held my hand, she had sang me happy birthday six years in a row, and had kissed my cheeks and hugged me when I needed it.
Let's just state that my childhood years weren't the best, but this woman, this young lady, was trying to reinvent those years and create for me better memories.
I never imagined I would ever lose Hermione, and I really hope I don't.
She and Bella needed to work things out after me and she had a talk; which, in reality, I was dreading.
"Hermione, you know..."he began in a concerned voice, "you can tell me anything, love."
I could feel his eyes on me as well as Fleur's, and all that ran through my head was the same statement over and over again.
This is isn't the time, 'Mione. This can wait; just go talk with Severus, and it'll buy you time. Yeah, just do that...
I heard someone take a huge breath in the room, and it wasn't until my eyes met Ron's that I noticed that it had been me. Horrified, I turned to the couch, and made to sit feeling as if any second now I would lose it.
"I think I need to take a seat," I voiced out before collapsing on the couch.
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