Chapter 7 - Dice

"No. My answer is no. I must decline your flattering proposal. Please do not travel to Coal Valley. My answer will remain no. . . . That will be $1.45."

"Thank you, Ned. I'll wait while you send it out", Elizabeth said as she reached into her coin purse and then handed the $1.45 to the man across the counter who had just read her dictated words back to her for confirmation.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll do it right now." Ned glanced over Elizabeth's shoulder. "Be with you in a moment, Constable. I just need to send this telegram to Hamilton."

Elizabeth swirled around in surprise at hearing the word Constable.

Jack, his eyes looking tired and bloodshot, was standing three feet behind her. Elizabeth noticed a nick on his jaw where Jack had carelessly cut himself shaving that morning.

Before Elizabeth could say anything, Jack turned and hurried out the door.


"Let's summarize this." Abigail said as she refilled Elizabeth's teacup and then sat down at the table across from her. The older woman reached over and took the pad of paper filled with notes from Elizabeth.

"He flattered you and acted like he was interested. He kissed you. He ran away from you after he kissed you. He avoided you. He was friends with you. He kissed you for the second time. After he kissed you, he got angry when he thought you were entertaining the attentions of another man. He told you to marry the other man. And now that he knows you've turned down Charles's proposal, he's run away like a scared rabbit."

Elizabeth nodded. "That's about it."

"I see only two reasons for his actions."

"Me too. He despises me and I'm a terrible kisser", Elizabeth grumbled.

Abigail chuckled. "Those weren't the two I was going with. But if you want to believe those, go ahead."

Elizabeth looked up from her cup of tea. "What were your two reasons?"

"He's protecting you and he's protecting himself."

"Protecting me? From what?"

"He's a Mountie, Elizabeth. It can be a dangerous job. He may not want to have you get involved in a serious relationship with him because he may . . . He may-"

"He may what?"

"He may one day die in the line of duty. He doesn't want you to be hurt that way. Which may be why he told you to marry Charles. So that you would be in a safe marriage."

"A safe marriage to a man I don't love", Elizabeth retorted.

Abigail shrugged. "Women have been worse off than that. From Jack's perspective, you'd be in a safe secure marriage to a man who could provide for you, and without the risk of you becoming the widow of a Mountie. Perhaps even a widow with young children. He wants you to be taken care of."

Elizabeth sighed as she thought about it. "I know his father died when he was boy. I suspect his mother's never gotten over the loss. I suppose that's always in the back of Jack's mind. And that he and his brother had to grow up without a father.

But why did you say that he's protecting himself? Why does he need protecting from me?"

"I think that's obvious."

When Elizabeth stared at her questioningly, Abigail finished her sentence.

"He's worried you're going to break his heart. One way or another."


Jack waited until the last of the children had left the Saloon and then looked at his watch. He had at least an hour until Mr. Trevoy came to open the Saloon and serve alcohol and barely edible food. Jack only needed five minutes.


"I want to apologize for my actions. I haven't always been very nice to you", Jack said as he stood in the doorway and held his hat in his hand, looking down as he bent the felt brim nervously.

Elizabeth, who hadn't even heard him enter, looked up from her paperwork in surprise. "If you're talking about what happened during our walk the other evening -"

"I'm talking about more than that. I just - I just haven't treated you right. And the other evening after we . . . kissed, I was rude and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

She gave him a smile, but his serious face didn't smile back.

"And please accept my apology for being forward. I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Why not? Didn't you like it?"

"Of course I liked it. Obviously I liked it!", Jack said as he looked at her in surprise. "That's not the point."

"What is the point? Because I haven't had as much experience as you, but I thought the point of kissing was to like it." Her voice was more mocking than she intended.

Jack scowled at Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth! You are not making this easy!"

"Why should I make it easy when I have no idea what's going on because you won't talk to me. You just keep running away!" she responded crossly.

Jack took a deep pause and looked almost imploringly at her. "I'm not the right man for you."

"I'll be the judge of who the right man is for me."

"I haven't always behaved properly." Jack hesitated before continuing. "Before I moved to Coal Valley. I've done some things that aren't forgivable."

"Isn't it for me to determine that? For me to decide what I'm willing to forgive?"

"I'd just end up hurting you."

"Why do you say that?" Elizabeth's eyes were gentle as she looked at him.

"Because -. Because I just would!"

"Jack –"

"You deserve better than me!", he said angrily. "Just leave it at that!"

"I don't want to leave it at that!"

Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself. Somehow, Jack managed to jumble her emotions like dice. He could turn her from happy to angry to sad as easily as if he were rolling six-sided cubes out of dice cup, scattering them on a table and seeing what came up. And then just as quickly pick them up and roll them again.

"Please, Jack. Can't we talk about this? I like you. I think you like me. We enjoy each other's company."

"I think it's best that we are just friends. Good friends. Friends that can count on each other. But nothing more. It's probably best for both of us."

Elizabeth sighed deeply. Resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't get much farther with Jack today.

"Fine. Friends it is. If that's what you want."

"It is."

Elizabeth looked sadly at Jack as he moved to walk out the door.

"Jack."

He paused and looked to her.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You don't need to protect your heart from me", she said gently.

He simply looked down at the hat in his hands before putting it on his head and walking out the door.


"You look like you're going riding. Does that mean things are better between you and Jack?", Abigail asked a few days later as she walked into the parlor and saw Elizabeth lacing up her boots.

"No. He's still being distant. I'm going by myself."

"Is it any better?"

"Well, on Monday he apologized. On Tuesday he said hello to me in the street. By Thursday he was okay staying in the same room as me. And yesterday, we actually had a nice little talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"The weather." Elizabeth gave Abigail with a weak smile.

Abigail smiled as she began folding clean napkins from her laundry basket. "Just give him time. He'll get there."


Jack sat at the Café table nursing the mug of coffee he held between his hands. The empty lunch plate was off to the side. He had eaten but couldn't remember what it had been. He hadn't cared.

"I'm glad you liked it", Abigail said as she picked up his plate. "Would you like some dessert?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks, Abigail."

"How about some more coffee?"

"No, thanks. I should get back to work."

"Before you do, can you do me a favor? I don't know exactly what's going on between you and Elizabeth, but can you go look for her? As a friend or as a constable. Nothing more. She went out riding and isn't back yet."

"Riding? By herself?" Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"She wanted to practice. She's been gone over an hour. I'm sure she's fine. But I would feel better if you checked on her."


Jack had been riding ten minutes when he saw Elizabeth trotting in his direction near one of the recent logging sites. Keep your heels down. Gently rise up and down with the rhythm of the horse, he silently instructed her.

He couldn't help a smile from forming on his lips as he watched her. She was getting there. Slowly but surely she was learning to ride.

The thought had been only in his mind for a second when he saw them.

The logs. They lay in the grass. Most likely they had fallen from a sawmill wagon as it left the nearby logging site.

No. Slow down. Don't try to jump it. Don't let the horse jump it! Don't let the horse jump!

"No!" The sound escaped from Jack's voice as he kicked his horse in the flanks and galloped towards her fallen body.


Jack sat on the parlor couch, his head in his hands. Every so often, his shoulders would shake despite the warmth of the room. His hair was messy due to his nervous fingers having run through it. His face was unnaturally white, as if the blood had drained from it when he had seen Elizabeth injured.

He had held her in his arms as he rode them back to town. Not caring that her blood was staining his clothes. When he gently lowered her down from the saddle and held her across his arms, she had weakly argued with him to let her walk. Her obstinate personality was no match for his, and he had sternly overridden her demands and carried her inside.

Now Jack sat alone with his thoughts while the doctor finished tending to Elizabeth in her bedroom.

Abigail paused in the parlor as she carried a pot of warm clean water upstairs. She didn't understand Jack's overwhelming sense of dread, but her motherly heart ached when she saw him sitting pitifully on the couch.

He looked like he already knew what was coming. Like he had been here before.

Like his world was about to come crashing down.


"Jack, there was a lot of blood because head wounds tend to bleed profusely. That's why there was so much that got on her blouse."

There was a lot of blood because head wounds tend to bleed profusely. Obviously you saw it all over his uniform.

"I stitched her up."

I stitched him up as best as I could but the wound was pretty bad.

"Head trauma can be serious. We need to watch to make sure she's not dizzy when she gets up."

Head trauma can be serious. We need to watch to make sure he's not dizzy if he wakes up.

"Elizabeth needs her rest."

Your father needs his rest.

"Constable Thornton?"

I'm sorry. His trauma was too severe. It's time to say goodbye.

"Jack?"

Jack, Tom. Boys, wipe your tears and go kiss your father goodbye.

"Jack?"

I know he promised to stay with you. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried. Yes, I promise that he tried. He loved you boys more than anything. Dry your eyes. Jack, you're the man of the family now.

"Jack! Have you heard a word I said? Elizabeth is going to be fine. She's got a headache but she's going to be fine."

A confused Jack looked up at the doctor who was standing in front of him, talking to him. "What?"

"I asked if you heard what I said? Elizabeth's going to be fine."

"She's going to be fine? Are you sure? There was a lot of blood. And she seemed pretty dazed."

"She's pretty dazed because she hit her head. And there was a lot of blood because that's what head wounds do. If you had been listening to me rather than letting your mind drift off to who-knows-where, you wouldn't be so worried. Do you want to see her?"

Jack shook his head. "No. No. That's okay."

He glanced at the staircase, almost regretfully, and then turned and walked out the door.


Elizabeth finished a hearty breakfast the next morning and realized that she had been practically ravenous after skipping dinner after yesterday's injury. Her head hurt a bit but it was much better than last evening.

She took a last look in the mirror and winced slightly when she touched the side of head and felt the ten stitches.

Deciding against wearing a hat, Elizabeth closed the front door behind her and headed towards the jailhouse to thank Jack for bringing her back to town after her fall.

Despite Jack's earlier declaration that they were just friends, Elizabeth had seen how worried he had been when he lifted her off the ground.

She had heard his quiet pleading when he held her in his arms as they rode to town, and he had whispered "Promise me you'll be okay" softly into her ear.


The jailhouse door was unlocked and she didn't bother to knock as she turned the knob and walked inside. Elizabeth frowned when she saw that the room was empty. She had hoped to see him before he went on his morning rounds. Now she'd have to wait until school ended for the day.

She paused as she started to walk out of the building. Something was off. Something wasn't right. Turning back around, she looked at his simple wooden desk. The top surface, which was always neat but usually contained a pad of paper, the Mountie regulations, or the day's mail, was empty except for a small envelope.

Jack's desk nameplate was missing.

Elizabeth approached the desk and curiously picked up the envelope. Her name was written on the front of it in Jack's handwriting. It was obviously meant for her. But why would he leave it here instead of delivering it? Maybe he meant to give it to her later? She wondered if it were an invitation to dinner perhaps.

With a shrug, Elizabeth opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. She read the four simple sentences. And then read them again. And then again.

Elizabeth frantically pulled open the top right desk drawer.

Jack's sketchpad, his drawing pencils, his letters from his mother, they were all gone.

She jerked open the other drawers. Not caring that she was yanking them too hard.

They were empty of all his personal belongings.

Whipping her head around, Elizabeth looked at the jail cell. The cot was missing its blanket. The small table was empty of the picture frame that Jack normally kept there.

It was as if Jack had never been there.

He was gone.


Jack had come to Coal Valley with one Achilles heel. He left with a second one. Elizabeth Thatcher.

The young constable rode silently across the valleys and waded through the streams. He took his horse down into steep rocky canyons, and climbed hills of lush grass that gave way to forests. He lay in his tent at night while the rain pelted the canvas. He let the sun warm him while he traveled for days to his new duty station.

And all the time, he thought of only one thing.

How his heart had plummeted when Elizabeth had been injured.

If she could do that do him after only two kisses and just a few months of knowing each other, he didn't want to imagine the pain he would face if they had been together longer.

He liked to believe that he was not afraid to face his fears.

But he was afraid. He was afraid that loving Elizabeth could destroy one of them.

It would be better for everyone if he never saw her again.

Better to leave now before they totally gave their hearts to each other.

Up next: Chapter 8