Happy Reading everyone! Its not every day I update so many chapter and for both stories :)
I own nothing of the following... I used book "Four" as a reference. All credits are to go to Veronica Roth
Please leave comments below tell me what you think so far! Next chapter is Beatrice
Chapter 7
Four P.O.V
I stand in the middle of the pit. I watch has all the members of Dauntless join together passing bottles of alcohol. They all join together chanting Amar's name.
"Amar."
"Amar."
"Amar."
I didn't know Amar long to grief him like I grieved my mother, when she passed away. The grief I felt for her, was a weight that made it impossible to move through each day. I remember stopping in the middle of a simple task to rest, and forgetting to start them again, or wake up in the middle of the night with tears running down my face.
Bea helped me through it though. She would sit in complete silence with me for as long as I needed her. Sometimes she would wrap her skinny small arms around me. Other times she would just hold my hand. But just having her present alone meant so much to me. It would instantly calm my sobs and slowly help stop my tears.
I don't carry Amar's loss like that. I find myself feeling it every now and then, when I remember how he gave me my name, how his friendship helped me more then he could possibly have known. I know I'm a better man because of him. Because of him, he helped me over come my fear of harming Beatrice. He showed me different ways to vent out my anger instead, techniques that I would and could use in the future to help me.
But mostly I just angry. I know his death had to do with Jeanine Mathews and the evaluation of his fear simulations. I know it. I also know Eric is also involved , which leaves him responsible for what happened to Amar.
He had warned me, that my Divergence possibly showed in one of my fear landscapes. I was too fast and only had four fears. Eric, who is a former Erudite, hated being beat by me, a stiff.
The Dauntless had a memorial service for Amar that same evening of his death. Everyone was drunk by late afternoon. Shauna, Zeke, Lauren, Mia, and myself gathered by the Chasm. Zeke had passed me a cup of dark liquid and I graciously swallowed it all without thinking. The liquid calmed me instantly and I swayed a little on my feet and passed the cup back to Zeke. The sound of the Chasm also helped calm me.
Jeanine Mathews seemed to accept that my own abnormal results were just a problem with the program. But I couldn't help the what if's that tried to sneak into my thoughts. What if that was just an act? What if she comes after me the way she came after Amar? What if this puts Beatrice in danger when she joins me here? I pushed the thoughts out of my mind. That won't happen, I won't allow it. I will protect her with everything I have. Max appeared before me, planting his hand on my shoulder.
"You all right, Four?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said and it was the truth. I was all right. I am all right because I was still standing and not slurring my words.
"I know Amar took a particular interest in you. I think he saw interest in you. I think he saw strong potential." Max said.
"He was a good man." I said. Also true.
"He was always little troubled, a little unbalanced. I think losing his grandparents really took a lot out of him. Or maybe the problem was deeper... I don't know." He said grabbing my shoulder tighter. "depending on how you do on your final intimation tomorrow, you and I should talk about the future you'd like to have here in Dauntless. You're by far our most promising initiate, despite your background."
There were no words, I just kept staring at him. What was he saying? And why here at Amar's memorial? Was he trying to recruit me? And just like that he was gone before any words could be formed.
The dinning hall is packed with both initiates and Dauntless members. I stand next to both Shauna and Zeke. Waiting for Max to reveal our rankings. The death of Amar, just yesterday already has been forgotten to most of the Dauntless members. I stare at Eric, I know he is responsible for what happened to Amar. He continues to smirk at me, I want nothing more than to smack that smirk off his face. I know there's nothing I can do about it. Its his word against mine. I have no prove. I can still see Amar's body lying broken on the pavement where he fell, every time I close my eyes.
"A few weeks ago, a group of scrawny, scared initiates gave their blood to the coals and made the big jump into Dauntless." Max says. "To be honest, I didn't think any of them would make it through the first day." He laughs at his own joke, that truthfully was not all that funny. "But I'm pleased to announce that this year, all our initiates attained the required scores necessary to become Dauntless! So here are the rankings of our New Dauntless Members."
Four
Eric
Sean
Lauren
Ryan
Zeke
Ash
Shauna
Ashley
Mia
John
Callie
Shauna lets out a excited scream, wrapping both one arm around Zeke's shoulder and her other arm around me. Zeke and I both return the embrace as well as each other.
I did, Bea. I made it! I told myself, wishing that I could tell her.
My name, which is only "Four." Now. I am no longer Tobias Eaton and never will I ever be again. I am Dauntless.
Needless to say the Dauntless lottery was kind to me, because of my first rankings and my choice to live alone. I was entitled to the biggest single apartment. Most intiates that decide to live on their own usually get a studio apartment. In my case, I was lucky that a one bedroom came up for grabs. Those that decide to room with another initiate usually receive a two bedroom apartment if available. Since I am anticipating Beatrice's arrival in little over a year from now, I rather live alone so she could easily move in with me once she is done with her initiation.
The apartment is bare but does have some furniture to start with. I have what appears to be a queen size comfortable bed, a dresser, and night stand in my bedroom. The living room, dinning room combo has one small couch and two people table. Defiantly would be nice to get more furniture in this place, along with a few interesting things to spice up the joint. But I don't intend to do much. I would prefer if Beatrice and I both worked on making this place our home together when she arrives. I do though have a kitchen, its not much. I have a stove, oven combo with a fridge, and a small counter space to work on along with a sink. No coffee maker. Better add that to the list.
I hear a knock on my door, thinking it must be Zeke, I say "Come in!" But instead Max walks into my apartment. He surveys the apartment with every step he takes in my apartment. I stand unsure what to do. There's a faction leader in my apartment and I have no idea why.
"Hello," I say.
"Sorry for the interrupt," he says. "I'm surprised you didn't choose to room with your fellow former initiates. You did make some friends, didn't you?"
"Yeah. This just feels more normal." I say. Not completely the truth but he doesn't need to know my real reasons for choosing to live alone. For now.
"i guess it'll take you some time to let go of your old faction. This afternoon you'll pick your job. Did you have anything in mind?" Max asks.
"I guess its depends on whats available." I answer truthfully. " I have been thinking about something wit teaching. Like what Amar did, maybe." I say. I haven't given to much thought about the whole ordeal. Other than I need to make enough points to care for me and Beatrice when she arrives. I scratch the back of my neck while speaking.
"I think the first ranked initiate can do a little better than "initiation instructor" , don't you?" To be honest one of my fellow leader of Dauntless is getting old for the job, the remaining team thinks its time for new blood to fill that position." Max says looking at me.
"I appreciate the offer, Max. But leadership isn't a position I am interested in at the current moment." I polity turn down the job. A government job is something I know I don't want. The responsibly, the twenty four hour, seven day a week on call life, not to mention the high risk of running into Marcus again. Defiantly not for me.
"Well if you ever change your mind. Offer will always be on the table for you. Just think about it, Four." Max says as he leaves my apartment, closing the door behind him.
The next morning I wake up, not having stocked my fridge yet I go to the hall to grab my breakfast. I slept last night like a baby for the first time since I was a kid. Knowing Marcus was back in Abnegation, and no initiates were in the same room. One thing I also wont miss about the dorms the uncomfortable cots they call beds, and the non privacy in the bathrooms.
Today we pick our jobs. I know I don't want to be leader like Max offered me yesterday. Initiation instructor is one that I am interested in. although its just a seasonal job, I will have to choose another job to fill the rest of the year. I am good with computers... Zeke did mention the control room, aka intelligence. The roles are to help monitor the city through computer programming and cameras. The role does sound intriguing. I think about the other jobs that were mentioned... I am not interesting in Ambassador might as well be leader if I took that job. There is tattoo parlor, fence guard, chef, and jauntor, openings.
"Four." Max calls me to announce my job choice.
I stand and make my final choice. "Initiation instructor and Intelligence." I announce. Max thanks me and I take my seat. I made my choice.
"Come on man. I promise you would have a blast tonight." Zeke says patting my back. "I need a wing man. This girl Maria wont come out with me unless I can find someone for her friend. It'll be fun, a double date."
"No." I glare. This isn't the first time I have had to dodge a date with Zeke. He doesn't know I already have someone. I take a long gulp of my beer. Should I tell him?
"Four, you haven't dated since you got to Dauntless. If you keep this up.. you going to end up like a old stiff." He comments, playing with the label of his beer bottle.
"Zeke." I warn.
"Na, man. Shauna won't talk to you about this, but I will." He begins but I cut him off.
"Shauna? What does she have to do with this?" I ask.
"Because we are your friends and we are worried about you. You barely come out with us and you don't date. Girls hit on you all the time. Hot girls may I add... and you always turn them down. What up with that? You know that chick, Lauren has the hots for you? Come on! You are Four, the Dauntless prology. You should be hitting that up." Zeke says giving my back another unwelcome pat.
"Zeke." I begin to say... but what do I say. He doesn't know about Beatrice. The only one that knew was Amar. I lay back further into the couch at Zeke's place, contemplating rather or not I should tell him.
"I get it. Is it cause they are women and not... I mean cause if that's the cause... It's cool dude. We can find you a hot guy." Zeke says with all seriousness.
"Zeke." I glare alright this has gone far enough. "I just... I have someone already."
"What? Who? Why didn't you tell me? We could have been going out on double dates already. Oh is she married?" Seriously?
"What? No! Its not like that. Her name is Beatrice. She is back in Abnegation. We were best friends since we were little kids, and than we became more. We had been together for three years before I transferred. We have a plan for her to follow me." I explain.
"So... your betting this girl to follow you? After two years? With God knows what is happening in her life. For all you know she might have already replaced you." Zeke points out.
"She's not like that. Trust me. Its complicated. But the answer is still no, I will not go on a double or single date with you. Not until she gets here." I say laying down the law.
"Alright man. What ever you say. I just hope you are not wasting your time waiting for something that wont happen."Zeke says trying to place doubt in my mind. But it wont work, he doesn't know Bea the way I do.
I love Beatrice more than anything. I will wait for her for how long as it takes. Just like I know she will wait for me.
