Walking up the stairs to the roof, Mitsuki felt anxiety gnawing at her insides. She knew she really should give this boy a try, but as disgusting as she was, she did not want to be with, not even remotely. At the end of the day, the only person she wanted was…
Aware that he was holding the door open for her, Mitsuki gave Tohru a thankful nod and headed through underneath his arm.
They both leaned against the railings, and Mitsuki dreaded this conversation.
Tohru coughed lightly. "I feel we should talk about what happened yesterday." Mitsuki agreed very quietly. "Was there a reason that you avoided my kiss? Were you not ready?"
"No, that wasn't the case. I'm sorry for reacting like that."
Tohru chuckled and then he was leaning in towards her, eyes intense and hooded. Mitsuki turned away from him.
"No, that's not it. I'm sorry."
Tohru pulled away, hurt. "Oh."
Mitsuki shook her head. "I should have just been honest with you from the start. I don't think I was ever interested in a relationship. I only wanted friendship." She paused. "I'm a tad bit lonely," she admitted.
"I can't see why, everyone envies you," Tohru said a little shortly, and Mitsuki knew he was bitter.
"I'm not as perfect as I seem. I know you wanted more to happen with this, but I just can't do it. I'm really sorry."
Tohru rubbed the back of his neck, laughing mirthlessly. "So this is what heartbreak feels like, I see…" Mitsuki felt her stomach drop and didn't know how to comfort the poor guy. "Can't friendship develop into something more?"
"In some cases, maybe. But I don't think it will in this case." She averted her eyes. "Sorry." She internally slapped herself. She just kept repeating her apologies without purpose.
After a moment of silence, Tohru asked, "Can we still be friends?"
Mitsuki's eyes softened. "Of course, but don't get your hopes up."
"I'll try my best," he croaked, his eyes betraying his sadness.
Mitsuki still had to ask, to sate her curiousity. "What did you like about me in the first place?"
Tohru looked back at her, eyes gleaming. "You were interesting." He chuckled. "I liked how you didn't care for appearances or who people were, you just cared what was on the inside." Mitsuki gulped at how spot on that analysis of her was. "Thank you for at least giving me a chance." The girl looked down at her feet, ashamed.
Don't thank me.
Akihito wouldn't lie; he had expected that confession. He still felt slightly uncomfortable, knowing this information, but watching his friend take on all the burdens for himself was just too much to bear.
After Hiroomi had revealed that he was in love with Mitsuki, the boys had gone silent, and Akihito knew that was all he was going to get out of the man. Hiroomi had quickly changed to other subjects, and Akihito was eager to comply to his wishes. He didn't know if he even really wanted to know much more. Did Mitsuki know? Perhaps that was the reason why the relationship between the two of them was so tense.
Akihito walked back from the grocery store, finding that he still was a weakling and the bags were slightly heavy. He assured himself of his strength as he reminded himself that he was making dinner for both him and Mirai, and Mirai ate like five stocky men.
He entered his apartment and started to cook. He knew the food wouldn't take long so he sprawled out his English notes on the table, preparing for the test the following day.
His heart skipped a beat when he heard that lovely voice call out, "Senpai!" Akihito smiled as Mirai tackled him with a hug. She was tired and probably a little bloody, but he couldn't care less. They quickly sat down for dinner, and Mirai started prattling on about her day. Akihito responded in kind, also giving away tidbits, though he was careful about not mentioning what he had discussed with Hiroomi.
"Oh, Senpai! Did you know? Mitsuki told me today that what had been bothering her was that she had a crush on somebody!"
Akihito paled as all the pieces clicked.
Mitsuki entered their lonely house and whispered a weak, "I'm home." She walked by the servants and greeted them, and they all allowed her a forced smile. Mitsuki immediately locked herself in her room and threw herself into her studies. She needed to distract herself from the shame.
Once it was nine, she was done with her schoolwork and had no idea what else she was supposed to do. She didn't know if she could interact with Hiroomi again, not after everything. She needed to escape from this.
She exited her room to watch television after much debate. Yakiimo followed close behind. Mitsuki absentmindedly flipped through the channels, eventually deciding to stare at the screen while a strange reality show was playing. Yakiimo curled up against her side, and she found comfort in petting him, no matter how trivial it actually was.
Mitsuki heard the door open and shut and panicked. How was she supposed to react? She didn't know what to expect at all. How would the rest of their days together be going now? She blamed herself.
Hiroomi walked into the room, and Mitsuki pretended to act disinterested, leaning against the arm of the sofa with the remote lazily hanging in her hand. "Mistuki," Hiroomi said her name quietly but with authority, so Mitsuki actually listened for once. "Turn off the TV." She did so and sat up straight.
Instead of even bothering with small talk, Hiroomi got straight to the point. "What happened last night…can not happen again."
Mitsuki nodded, but on the inside she felt her heart get crushed by a hammer. "Okay."
Hiroomi felt proud of himself for doing the right thing, but it felt so wrong. "I should have been better. Set up boundaries. Not giving into my hormones." He tried to laugh but found that he couldn't. "It's pretty gross when you think about it."
Mitsuki found herself more and more disgusted with herself with every moment. Of course he was disgusted. She had just imagined him wanting her. She was the only one who felt this way. She powered through the pain and smirked. "You're right, stupid Aniki. Who would really want to make out with their brother? I was just teasing you, as always." That wasn't true. She so desperately wanted him to hold her, to kiss her till she ran out of breath.
"You should probably start to sleep in your own room though. I can't always be there, silly girl." He had a fond smile on his face, though it was mixed with pain.
"Of course, the nightmares have stopped anyway." They hadn't. The next few words passed by without much of a thought. "I'm going out for a bit. I'll be home soon."
Hiroomi nodded and wished her well, a smile ever present on his face. However once she was gone, the Nase clan head finally broke down and let his face fall into his hands. "I am scum, I am scum of the earth," he repeated to himself, clawing at his face. He locked himself in his room and without wanting to, cried himself to sleep.
Ayaka was just about to close up shop when she heard the door open, and she was surprised to see that it was Mitsuki. She smiled gently, and Ai greeted the black haired girl as well before heading off. Ayaka asked, "What brings you here so late at night?"
She heard a rumble on the table and looked down to find fifteen Youmu stones.
Hi! Sorry for the long wait guys but I've finally updated. I know, I know, it's been forever, but I'm gonna try to update more regularly. Please read and review and all that. :3 Love you all, and have missed you, my faithful readers. Sorry for being so slow once again.
