Chapter 6: Conscientious
When I woke, the light was filtering into the room through the double windows in the living room. I felt warmth all around me, and a strong heartbeat beneath my ear. I tilted my head up to see Edward, still asleep, his arms securely around me as we were contorted into one mass on the couch. Our bodies seeming to fit together like a lock and key. There was a blanket over us and I heard some clanking in the kitchen.
Slowly pushing myself up, taking care to not wake him, I looked over the back of the couch to see Alice in the kitchen making coffee. Her iPod was on, assumingly she had come from the gym since she was still in her work out clothes; shaking her little body to whatever music she was listening to. She looked up, saw me, and gave me a wicked grin. I sheepishly smiled in response as I twisted around to see Edward's sleeping form next to me. He long legs hanging off of the end of the couch.
I reached down and gingerly ran my fingertip along the outline of his facial features, his strong jaw, straight nose and warm brown eyebrows. Looking at him brought back the entire splendor of the previous evening. The way his lips worked with mine, causing me such ecstasy, I thought not possible from a mere kiss. As I was tracing, he began to stir. I pulled my hand away.
"Don't stop." He murmured with his eyes still closed. I paused, but I didn't. I continued on my exploration, to his perfect lips, along his jaw to his ears. As I ran my finger along the tip of his ear, a small smile came on his lips. I couldn't help but bend down and taste them.
As I did, twisting my body over his in the tight confines of the couch, his hand found its way back into my hair, pushing it behind my ear. Our lips met, so softly, my hand on his broad chest to support myself. I pulled back slightly, "good morning," I whispered into his mouth, which turned up into a big smile. "Yes it is," he dreamily replied.
I hadn't even realized that we had fallen asleep on the couch together, having stayed up late talking and kissing. But when I woke in his arms, I felt unquestionably safe, happy, and reassured he was still there with me.
I reluctantly pushed myself up again and looked at my watch, it was nearly nine. Alice had mentioned the day before that she wanted to be on the road by ten to avoid traffic getting out of the city. The last thing I wanted to do was leave Edward's side. It had taken twenty-four years for me to find him, and now all I could think about was spending every moment with him. I weighed my options in my head, and then went out on a limb.
"Edward?" He slowly opened his eyes and fixed his deep gaze on me as I hovered over him. He continued stroking my hair, pushing it behind my ears, letting his fingers linger along my neck.
"Do you have plans for Easter?" I should have asked Alice first, but was certain neither she or Carlisle and Esme would mind.
"Emmett and Rose invited me to spend the day with his family, but I hadn't committed. I was probably going to pick up another shift at the hospital so that someone else could spend the day with his or her family. Why?" He inquired as he then ran his fingers along my arm, causing goose bumps.
"Alice and I are going to spend the weekend with her parents in Rockford. We are leaving this morning and will be back tomorrow evening. Would you like to join us?" I asked with hopefulness. I wanted nothing more than to continue spending time with him.
He raised his eyebrows in uncertainty, "are you positive? I don't want to impose."
"Not at all, I am sure they would love to meet you. They are like my second set of parents. Plus, you and Carlisle should have a lot to talk about, doctor-like things." I saw the indecision in his eyes, but hoped he did want to join us.
"Please." I whispered pleadingly.
His lips curled up sweetly, "you do know you are a very dangerous woman Bella Swan? I can't possibly say no to that." He began twisting a strand of my hair around his index finger. "I wasn't ready to say goodbye to you either." As he pulled me to him again, kissing me softly.
"Ah hem." I heard from over our heads. I reluctantly released Edward's lips and turned to see Alice hovering over us. She had her hands on her hips and an annoyed face – the sight of which made me rethink not asking her permission to invite Edward – who was still casually playing with my hair.
"Is that okay Alice, if Edward joins us this weekend?" I asked sheepishly.
She rolled her eyes and then a big smile spread across her face. "Of course it is! I was just playing, but I still want to leave by ten if possible."
I turned back to him. "Edward, do you mind driving since your car is much bigger than Alice's Beatle? I don't think your legs would even fit in there with the seat all the way back."
"That's fine with me, I just have to run home and grab some clothes and shower. I will pick you ladies up at ten." He replied.
Since we only have an hour to get showered, packed and ready to go, we clamored off of the couch. I gave him a quick kiss goodbye, the separation made much easier knowing I would see him again in just an hour as opposed to a whole weekend.
I walked towards my bedroom and was accosted my Alice. "Bella Swan. You have got some talking to do and you better do it fast before he comes back." She exclaimed excitedly.
As I got in the shower, she stood at the mirror putting on her makeup and I replayed the whole evening for her, paying special attention to when he kissed me, how I felt like I was levitating. Alice was clapping her hands in delight at all of the sweet and romantic details.
"See, I told you! Wasn't it worth working through all that stuff so that you could both see that you really like each other, maybe even love?"
I laughed at the childish way she said love, all drawn out. "Yes, Alice. I am happy to say that this time you were right."
"Silly Bella, I'malways right."
"Are you sure it is okay that I invited him this weekend? I feel bad that I didn't ask you, but I really wasn't ready to say goodbye for two days," as I was drying myself off.
"Of course, you know my parents, the more the merrier. Plus, Jasper is driving out tomorrow morning to meet us so I will ride back with him. Hopefully he and Edward will get along and we can double date," twinkling in her eyes as she walked out of the bathroom to allow me the space to finish getting ready. I liked the idea of going on a double date with someone I actually liked.
I hastily packed my bag, briefly dried my hair so it wasn't completely wet, and put on a little blush and mascara. I was ready and waiting at five until ten. Edward rang the downstairs buzzer and Alice came running out of her room with bag in hand. "Be right down." I responded into the intercom.
It was a sunny, beautiful March day when we exited our building, made all that more splendid by the sight of Edward standing by his car, all showered and shaved. My stomach did flips as I walked up to him and wove my hand in his. He smiled down at me, took our bags, and threw them in the trunk, gracefully making his way to the driver's side after he opened our doors for us. Alice considerately let me ride in front, but demanded full control of the music selection in return.
We made our way easily through the light Saturday morning traffic. "We need to stop for coffee and bagels before we get on the highway." Alice commanded from the back seat.
"Sure, where's the best place?" He replied, looking in his rear view mirror at her.
"Turn left at the light and there is a good place on the corner there. I think there is drive thru as well." She instructed.
There was a drive thru and after we had our caffeine and carbohydrates, we were all a little perkier. I had no idea what time Edward and I had finally fallen asleep, but the smooth, quiet ride of his Volvo was making it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open. I rested my head on the window and gave in. I felt his hand on my thigh, his warmth, and smiled as I drifted off.
"Bella," I heard a whisper, was it still a dream, I couldn't tell. I had been dreaming about Edward and me dancing. I wore a beautiful, flowing gown and he was in a tux. I cracked my eyes open to realize I was still in his car, but it was stopped. I looked over at him. He was gently stroking my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"Hi sleepyhead, we're here."
"Sorry for falling asleep. I didn't realize how tired I was." I responded in a groggy voice.
"That's okay. Alice and I had pleasant conversation. What were you dreaming about?" curiosity evident in his voice.
"Oh no, what did I say?" mortified.
"You said, 'keep twirling me,'" he chuckled.
"I was dreaming about us dancing." I smiled shyly as the blush in my cheeks increased. "What did you and Alice talk about?"
"I didn't realize you enjoyed it so much. I will have to make sure to take you again very soon." Running his fingers down my arm, sending chills through me. "We talked about how wonderful you are." He smiled, "and she said that if I hurt you she would hunt me down."
"That sounds like Alice," always protective. I smiled, as he leaned over and kissed me gently. My hand found its way to his face, pulling him closer to me, deepening the kiss. His wonderful scent filled my senses.
There was a loud tap on my window that made me jump. "Hey you two lovebirds! Get inside. My parents are dying to see you." Alice commanded from outside the car. I reluctantly released Edward and gathered my things in the front seat. Edward retrieved our bags from the trunk and we went inside to greet Carlisle and Esme.
"Bella! We're so happy you could join us this weekend, it's been far too long." Esme said as she pulled me in for a tight hug, and then handed me off to Carlisle. "Good to see you Bella." He said smiling.
"Carlisle, Esme, this is my," boyfriend, man I am obsessed with, man that makes my knees shake with his lips, not sure what was appropriate, "friend Edward Masen."
"It's very nice to meet you Edward." Esme said holding out her hand.
"You as well, thank you for having me this weekend." He smiled brilliantly as he had an arm around my waist pulling me to his side.
"Alice tells us that you are in your second year of residency at Children's Memorial in pediatric cardiology." Carlisle said as he put a hand on his shoulder, ushering him in to the living room to 'talk shop.' I winked at Edward as he walked away.
"Bella dear! Where have you been hiding him? He's adorable." Esme gushed as we went into the kitchen to have a cup of coffee and catch up.
"We actually just started dating." I responded with a casual tone, but hoped more than anything we would continue seeing each other. After last night, it seemed that he had finally let down his expertly crafted armor.
"Well, I can tell he cares for you very much. The way he looks at you." Esme nodded her head with a knowing, motherly expression.
"Really?"
"Oh yes dear. You hang on to him." She patted the back of my hand. Alice came over to us at the table with the coffee mugs.
"Bella, tell her how you met." Alice chimed in as she sat down. I shot her a little glare. I really didn't care to explain to anyone the circumstances. Even though I came out of it having met Edward, the night still haunted my dreams.
I sighed, letting Alice know I wasn't happy about this, "he saved me when I was being attacked by a bum in an alley." I said softly.
"Oh no! Were you okay?" Esme said drawing her hand up to cover her mouth in shock.
"Yes, Edward found me just in time. He knocked out the guy and took me to the hospital." I smiled gently.
"And you have been dating since?"
"No. We met a few times, mostly by chance after that night. We have only been on two actual dates." I responded taking a sip of my coffee.
"Really? It seems more serious than just two dates - must be fate." She smiled gently. She and Carlisle had met by fate. She was a patient of his when she broke her leg. He was the attending doctor in the emergency room that night. Having seen Esme and Carlisle's marriage, it gave me hope the institution, that not all married couples were doomed like my parents had been. Yes, must be fate, I thought smiling as well.
We talked for a while longer before Edward and Carlisle came in to join us. Edward stood behind my chair with his hands on my shoulders. I don't think I will ever get used to the thrill of his touch, so warm and gentle, yet strong.
"We thought we would have a movie night tonight." Alice said as we got up to put our mugs away. Esme was starting to make lunch. We all sat down and ate. Then Alice said she and Esme were going shopping. I luckily got out of joining them, "Do you want to go for a walk? It's so nice out." I asked Edward as I put out plates in the dishwasher.
"Yes, that would be nice. I need something to perk me up."
We donned our coats, it was still only in the forties, and headed out the Cullen's front door. Carlisle and Esme lived in a large, traditional colonial with white siding and black shutters. It was nestled in the middle of a nice neighborhood a few minutes outside of the city. In Forks, they had lived in an amazing house, set back in the woods on the edge of the river. I loved spending the night there because I got my own bedroom, with a big king sized bed and private bathroom with a big tub. Which was more than I had at my Dad's house; we shared the one small bathroom upstairs.
"Carlisle and Esme are very nice." Edward commented as we made our way down the sidewalk, hand in hand. The sun was streaming through the thick canopy of the old oak trees that lined the street.
"Yes, they are wonderful. They really are like my other parents. I spent so much time at their house my senior year of high school. Then when we started college out here, Alice and I would go visit them about once a month and get a good home cooked meal. In some ways I am closer to them than my own parents." Edward was quiet as we walked, pensive. I realized that I may have been insensitive – here I had two sets of parents and he didn't have any.
"I'm sorry Edward. I shouldn't have gone on like that."
He stopped me in the middle of the sidewalk, turning to me, taking both of my hands in his. "Bella, you shouldn't ever hold back on telling me about yourself because you are worried about upsetting me. Yes, it still hurts," he paused and took in a breath of air, "but somehow talking with you the other night, getting it all out, has made it start to hurt less. I feel like maybe I am finally starting to accept it. I know I haven't dealt with the pain of their loss very well - maybe I am now." His smile was sad.
"I just don't want to see you hurt at all," in a soft voice, my eyes averted to the sidewalk.
"Unfortunately it is a fact of life. But, meeting you makes me start to believe that there is still enough good in the world to off set the bad. You truly have been a ray of sunshine in my world Bella." He smiled one of his glorious grins that nearly knocked the wind out of me.
I bowed my head shyly, not sure how I could be that for someone, but thrilled at his words all the same. We continued walking for another half hour and ended up back at the house by mid-afternoon. Alice and Esme had not returned from shopping yet. Carlisle said we would be lucky to see them before dinner.
"Carlisle, do you know if Esme has anything planned for dinner?"
"Not that I know of, I think she mentioned ordering pizzas to eat while we watch the movie." He responded from the couch as he watched some sports game with Edward.
"Then I want to make dinner for everyone, if that's okay."
"That would be nice. You know we love your cooking." He responded.
I came around the couch to sit next to Edward, who put an arm around my shoulder.
"Do you want to go to the store with me?" I asked as I nuzzled into his chest, in reality, all I wanted to do was take a nap, but wanted to do this nice gesture. He nodded and we got up and loaded ourselves in the Volvo. I knew of a grocery story a few blocks from here that would have everything we would need.
"What are we making?" Edward asked as he picked up a shopping basket.
"Chicken enchiladas - they are one of Esme and Carlisle's favorites. Plus, they're pretty easy." We went around the store gathering all of the necessary ingredients.
"Do you cook much?" I asked as we loaded the groceries into the car.
He shrugged, "Some, though I have found since I started my residency, it is the last thing I want to do when I get home. I always wanted to take some cooking lessons, just to know how to make the basics."
"I could teach you a few things. I cooked almost every night when I lived with both my mom and my dad. Either that, or we would have had pizza every night." I chuckled as we pulled in the driveway.
Edward brought all of the bags in and put them on the kitchen counter. I started digging around for the chicken, which we would need to marinate for an hour or so. I put Edward in charge of cutting up the vegetables to make the sauce. I sautéed the peppers and onions while the chicken marinated. There was peaceful silence as we worked side by side at the kitchen island.
"What smells so good?" Alice yelled from the entranceway, bags were rustling.
She and Esme came into the kitchen. "Are you making your wonderful chicken enchiladas?" Esme asked with a hopeful expression.
"Yes I am. I thought I would do a little something to thank you for having Edward and me this weekend." I grinned as I stirred the sauce.
Esme waved her hand at me. "You know we are always happy to see you Bella and to see that you finally have a nice young man in your life." I blushed furiously as she came around to one arm hung me. Edward was perched on one of the stools opposite me, grinning, I scowled, which made him laugh.
Edward and I finished assembling the enchiladas and put them in the oven. I put the rice and beans on the stove to cook, and then sat down between Edward and Alice on the kitchen stools. I was exhausted.
"Bella, Edward, do you want a glass of wine?" Alice asked as she poured herself one.
"Sure, why not. I don't think it will help to keep me awake for the movie though."
"Do you have any beer?" Edward asked.
"Out in the garage in the fridge there is some. My dad always stocks up when Jasper is coming." He rose from his stool and went out the side door to the garage.
"Bella," Alice whispered furiously. "Do you want to stay in the same bedroom with Edward or with me tonight? My mom asked, she is fine with Jasper and me staying together, but I wasn't sure what you would want to do."
I hadn't thought about it, but the idea of staying in the same bed with Edward made my face flush, and my guts twist in delight. "If your parents are okay with it, we could stay in the same room." A small smile spread across my face at the possibility of having a whole night next to him, even if it was nothing more than him holding me.
"What are you smiling about?" He whispered in my ear as he came in from the garage. I felt myself blush even deeper. I slipped out of his hold and went to stir the sauce, avoiding his question.
After dinner the five of us plopped ourselves in the living room for the movie. "Your cooking was fantastic as always Bella." Carlisle complimented as he curled up with his wife on the love seat. Edward and I were on the couch and Alice was lying on a mound of pillows on the floor.
Alice put in some sort of comedy. I couldn't pay attention, too absorbed with being in Edward's arms again. I lasted through the opening credits and couldn't fight the pull of my eyelids.
I woke up when the movie was over. Alice was getting up, putting the popcorn bowls and cups in the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme must have gone to bed already. I twisted around and saw the Edward was asleep as well. I stretched my neck up and kissed his cheek and he began to stir awake. "You ready for bed?" I whispered in his ear.
He tightened his grip on me, "I'm not ready to let you go," he murmured with closed eyes.
"Who said anything about letting me go?" He has assumed, like I had, that we would be staying in separate rooms. A smile slowly spread across his beautiful face.
I sat up and pulled him up with me, and with great effort, he conceded. We trudged our way up the stairs, "good night," Alice snickered from the kitchen. "G'night," I called back over the railing from the second floor.
The guest bedroom was at the back of the house. Our bags were already in there and the bedding had been turned down on the king-sized bed. As we got our pajamas out I said, "I hope you don't mind that I assumed you would want to stay in the same room as me." I had my nightshirt in my hand. Edward came over and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Nothing makes me happier than to share a bed with you Bella." The velvety seduction of his voice made my knees quake beneath me. I knew I was in uncharted territory. I had certainly been with a few men, nothing memorable. Just the idea of sleeping next to Edward gave me more delight than repeating any of my past sexual experiences. Once again, I couldn't even begin to imagine what being with him would be like. It made my heart palpitate wildly.
Edward bent down and placed his lips on mine, gently, sweetly. My arms went around his neck, immediately my hands were weaving through his hair. He walked me over to the bed, never breaking our connection, and laid me down, slowly pressing his weight to me. The feeling of this beautiful man, lying on top of me, was more than I could put into words.
We lay there for several minutes, our kissing growing deeper and more passionate. My hands came down around his neck to the buttons on his shirt. With trembling fingers I undid them, disconnecting from his lips to explore his neck. He released little moans of pleasure, which only drove me crazier, knowing I was doing that to him. His hands were on my waist, moving under my shirt, then one was making its way down my hip to my thigh, wrapping around the back of my knee, pulling it up to hitch it around his hip – involuntarily I released a gasp – feeling him against me. He was certainly as excited about this as I was.
The sensations in the pit of my stomach were indescribable, so much desire and want for him. Edward's lips were back on mine as I pushed myself to half-sitting, his fingers lingering around my waist, encircling my navel, making me whimper. I reached down and quickly pulled my shirt over my head. Thank goodness I wore one of my few pretty lace bras.
I pushed his shirt off of his shoulders, and then lifted his t-shirt over his head to reveal what I had only seen in my dreams, the most perfectly chiseled stomach, sculpted chest with strong broad shoulders sitting on top. A faint pink line drew its way down the center of his sternum - a reminder of his heart's past handlings. I knew I was staring – I could do nothing to stop it - nor did I want to. He truly was the most magnificent man I had ever laid eyes on, and he was there, with me, kissing and touching me - didn't seem right.
He pressed me back to the bed with his body and I instinctively drew my legs around his hips. "You are so beautiful Bella." He seductively whispered. My heart was beating so hard it felt as though my chest might not be able to contain it. His hands were trailing up and down my torso, dancing around my bra, but never making contact - driving me wild. I quickly began unbuttoning my jeans, fumbling. Then he gently laid a hand over my trembling ones. He pressed his cheek against mine and whispered in my ear, "Do you think you could stop taking your clothes off?" I was confused. Did he want to do that?
He pulled away, slightly breathless, and took my hand to his face, "There is nothing that I desire more in this world than to make love to you, but not now, not here, not with Alice's parents right across the hall."
I felt myself deflate. I was fighting an enormous internal battle. Everything in me wanted to make love to Edward, to experience every part of him, to melt into him, but another part, the more practical part, didn't want that to happen under Carlisle and Esme's roof either. Not when I had a perfectly good, and more private, bed at my apartment.
I nodded slowly. Giving in to responsibility, damn it! "You're right. We should wait until we aren't sharing a house." I whispered slightly defeated.
"I hope you know it physically pains me to do be so conscientious." He smiled against my neck.
"Well, I would have been happy just curling up in your arms, so this was certainly an unexpected bonus." I smiled at him, he laughed.
He pushed himself off of me and began unbuttoning his jeans. My eyes went wide, had something changed in the last ten seconds? Were we going to throw our caution to the wind?
He noticed my expression. "I'm not going to sleep in my jeans, if that's okay?" He edged his pants down and stepped out them, revealing black boxer-briefs that shaped perfectly to his firm rear, then went to his bag and pulled out flannel pants, putting them on, leaving his chest bare. He handed me my nightshirt, which had been thrown to the floor at his first kiss. I begrudgingly pulled it over my head and took off my jeans.
He crawled into the bed, somehow lifting me and placing me under the covers. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him, my back tight against his chest, his heat radiating through. "The way you feel in my arms is…wonderful. I never want to let you go." He murmured into my hair as he tightened his hold around me. All I could do was nod in agreement, fearing that if I moved, I wouldn't be able to control myself from a pure animalistic attack.
I thought I would never be able to fall asleep, my adrenaline pumping, my mind and heart racing with the possibilities. But, as always, unconsciousness won.
