Author's Note: I DO NOT own Harry Potter!
Also, here's the next chapter, as promised. There will be two more added this week and then the story will be complete! I am so excited with how the ending of this story came together and I will be honest, this particular chapter surprised me. It truly formed as I wrote it and I was incredibly surprised by where it took me. Please, please, please, read and review! I want to know what you all think since I haven't written much in four years! Enjoy!
Chapter 7
Even though Draco's office was practically on the other side of the giant underground maze otherwise known as the Ministry of Magic, Harry was still fueling his anger and hurt easily. As he turned the last corner, he was relieved to see light streaming out of Draco's still open office door and he slowed down to a walk, trying to compose himself and prepare a couple of coherent sentences. Standing in the doorway, though, seeing Draco hunched over his desk, hearing the quiet sobs of the unsuspecting man, Harry's less than well thought out plan left him. Instead, he said without preamble, "Why did you keep sending me these?"
Startled, Draco looked up, hastily wiping at his face though he couldn't hide the red splotches on his cheeks or cover his bloodshot eyes. "What?" he managed.
"Why," Harry began, stepping into Draco's office and closing the door behind him so that the two were completely isolated and holding up the multiple pieces of parchment, "did you keep sending me these?"
Harry turned his back on Draco, giving the other man time to compose himself as Harry cast a silencing charm on the office. Even though he was hurt and still angry at Draco, Harry didn't need to fuel the rumor mill any more than it already was. Once he was finished, he slowly turned around and looked at Draco again.
"I don't know," Draco finally answered, running his hands through his hair. "I don't know why I kept sending them. I just did. I guess I hoped that you'd forgive me, that eventually enough time would pass and the wounds would heal. I don't know. It sounds stupid."
"I just don't understand. Why did you cheat? What didn't I give you?" Harry could feel tears burning at the corners of his eyes. "I did everything you asked! We dated in secret and when we moved in together I still kept our relationship a secret. Hell, I've kept us a secret for the past three years now! But I guess I know why you didn't want to come out about us," Harry gave a short, bitter laugh. "Then I guess you'd have had to give up all your side relationships. Or did you move in with them too? How many flats did you have with how many different people?" Breathing hard from the effort it took not to cry, Harry stepped forward, getting right into Draco's face. It felt good to finally unleash all the pent up anger Harry hadn't even known he was still carrying. He should have done this years ago, maybe then his heart would have been able to heal instead of festering with self-loathing and anger. "Or is that what I get for dating a Malfoy?" He ripped open one of the cards and shoved it in front of Draco's face. "That's what you said here, isn't it? That basically, I should have expected you to be a coward because Slytherins weren't known for their courage like Gryffindors? Because, no, it can't possibly be your fault for your actions! Draco, we aren't in Hogwarts anymore! Man up and take responsibility for your actions!"
Words finally failed Harry so he dropped the parchment on Draco's desk and stepped back, glaring at the man. But now that he'd said all the things he'd demanded of his reflection for the last three years, his anger was slipping away and soon Harry was standing in the middle of Draco's office, wondering what to do next. Draco stared at the letter on his desk, not saying a word.
Finally, after what to Harry felt as eternity, Draco looked up at him. "You're right," he said. "You're absolutely right and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."
Draco's apology rankled against Harry's ears. "Is that all you have to say for yourself? That you're sorry? I deserve an explanation. I deserve so much more than an empty apology three years after the fact." Harry paused, trying to bite back the words that had risen but his anger won out. "I deserve so much better than you, Malfoy. I always have." Harry reached for his wrist, taking off the watch he'd worn every day since his birthday and tossed it onto Draco's desk. "Keep this. I don't need anything from you anymore."
As Harry turned away, to release the silencing charm and leave Malfoy behind for good, Draco slammed his hands into his desk. "You don't get to walk away from me again!" he yelled.
Harry whipped back around. "Oh, yeah?" His voice was scathing. "Watch me."
"Petrificus Totalus!"
Harrys' arms and legs sprang to his sides as he started to tip over. Draco caught him before he hit the floor but Harry's skin burned where they touched. Anger overrode surprise and Harry struggled against the charm, glaring at Malfoy. Draco leaned Harry against the wall and then stood right in front of him, his face no longer red and blotched from crying but from anger.
"Let me tell you something, Potter," he began. "You don't get to storm into my office and berate me for a mistake I made three years ago. You don't get to judge me and yell at me and treat me as if I am the scum of the earth and then walk away again. You're not perfect, Golden Boy! You've made mistakes too! And you know what? I'm tired of you treating me like scum. I tired of having my one slip up define me for three years!"
Draco paused, stepping back as he tried to compose himself. After a moment, he looked at Harry again but the anger in his eyes was seeping away. "Do you know how many nights I laid in our bed and hated myself for that night? Do you know how many times I berated myself for ruining the best thing to ever happen to me?"
Harry stopped straining against the body-binding curse, intent on listening to every word that Draco uttered. A painfully silent minute passed before Draco spoke again and this time, his words came out even softer, just a touch above a whisper.
"I'm really good at making bad choices, you know. You should have known that from the first day we met, or at least when I walked away from you all before your last face off with Voldemort. And yet, you loved me anyway. You loved me despite all the horrible things I'd done at school and forgave me time and time again for the things I was forced to do by Voldemort. And that love, your courageous love and commitment, scared me. I was so afraid that one day you would wake up, look over at me and be repulsed. I was sure it was only a matter of time until you realized that I was too horrible and not worthy of your love that I needed to protect myself. I needed to hurt you first, before you could hurt me. It was stupid. I was insecure but I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you about my feelings."
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Part of him was glad that his arms were bound because he didn't have to think about whether or not to wrap Draco in his arms and take away the other man's pain. Seeing Draco's raw pain, Harry knew that they'd both been destroyed by the other and yet, Harry couldn't help but feel that the pain had been so unnecessary. If Draco had only owned up to his fears, if only he'd been truthful, then none of this would have happened!
"I'm going to release the curse now and I'm sure you're beyond angry with me for using it on you. I'm sorry. I won't stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do in retribution, but I just had to tell you the truth without you interrupting. I had to tell you that I still love you."
Draco stood in front of his desk and flicked his wand and Harry's arms and legs sprang apart. Stretching his jaw, Harry was silently thankful he hadn't bitten his tongue when the curse hit but he couldn't deny he was still a little angry for being cursed in the first place. Still, he bought himself some time to think as he stretched his slightly aching arms above his head, wrestling with how to respond to Draco's confession.
Slowly, Harry crossed the small office room again to stand right in front of Draco. The other man closed his eyes, bracing for whatever was coming, but Harry just reached around him and took back the watch. "Thank you," Harry finally said softly and Draco's eyes snapped open, surprise evident on his face, "for the watch and the truth."
Draco was shocked at how calm Harry sounded. "You're welcome," he sputtered, stumbling on the words.
Harry studied the edge of Draco's desk, smiling sadly. Softly, he said, "It's funny, we've wasted all this time. I still love you too. I don't think I've ever stopped."
A small bead of hope grew in Draco's heart. "Will you give me a second chance?"
Harry took a step back. "I don't know. I don't know if I can survive you breaking my heart again." Seeing the pain cross Draco's face, Harry continued, "I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry."
Before the other man could react, Harry released the silencing charm and disappeared into the labyrinth of the Ministry's hallways. Draco let him go, stunned at the turn of events, needing time to think. Harry still loved him. Maybe all hope wasn't lost.
A/N: Well! What do you all think? R&R! Thanks for reading!
