A/N: I did it! I finally finished a piece of fan-fiction, yay me!
I just want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for your follows, favourites and reviews. There is no way I would have completed this without your support, enthusiasm and encouraging comments, so seriously, thank you so much for sticking with me for all this time!
So here we go. Without further ado I present chapter 7. I apologise in advance for any mistakes, cheesiness and overall sugary fluffiness. And with that being said, I hope you enjoy it.
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The Really Good Day
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once." ― John Green
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The two days that followed passed by in an endless blur of paperwork, sleepless nights, bad TV and even worse hospital coffee, but finally, six intrepid 'outside-of-regulation-visiting-hours' visits, six subsequent kicking-outs and about a thousand 'when can I go home(s)?' later, Marty Deeks was finally wheeling his increasingly irritable partner and her various bags towards the front door of the Pacific Beach Medical Centre.
"Jesus Kens, relax!" he chastised in an exasperated but amused tone as Kensi sunk down in the wheelchair and pouted. "No-one wants to cast aspersions on your super-human strength and god-like ability to take care of yourself, okay? It's just hospital policy."
"Yeah well, it's a dumb policy," the brunette grumbled petulantly and Deeks found himself wondering if she had any idea just how adorable she was when she was sulking.
"They're just looking out for their patients' well-being Princess. They wouldn't be good doctors if they didn't."
She snorted derisively in response to that attempt at a placating statement as he manoeuvred the wheelchair and it's precious cargo around a group of elderly ladies who'd apparently decided that the middle of a narrow corridor was the perfect place to stop and have a quick chit-chat. "Oh really? Well answer me this then: If they expect the recently discharged to spontaneously drop dead because they're not in a wheelchair on hospital property, why are they sending them home in the first place? Hmm?"
He scoffed. "They don't expect people to just drop dead, as you so melodramatically put it. They just, uh…" Expect them to fall and break a bone? Not have the energy to make it to the front door? Not have the compos mentis to find the exit? The detective wracked his brain for a clever counter-point to his partner's typically air-tight argument, but in the end had to reluctantly concede defeat. "You know what? Touché, I've got nothing."
Kensi barked out a smug "ha!" as the automatic doors at the entrance slid open (god, she was so competitive) and Deeks grinned to himself as they emerged from the entrance foyer, basking in the feel of the warm summer air outside.
At least, that was until the wheelchair before him came to a complete and abrupt halt, taking him by surprise and causing him to almost trip over both the chair and the grumpy woman sat in it. A quick inspection revealed the source of the problem; Kensi gripped the hand-rims on both wheels, and she had planted both feet firmly on the ground to stop the wheelchair's forward motion.
"Kens, What the…"
"We're outside now. I want off!" Her bags were already on the ground in front of her as she made a move to stand.
"You want off? You know this isn't a roller-coaster, right?"
She let out another unladylike snort. "It felt like one the way you negotiated those corridors. Your driving sucks."
He rolled his eyes and stooped down to fold the wheelchair, considering returning it to reception but deciding he really couldn't be bothered. Instead he abandoned just inside the doorway while she gathered her belongings off the floor. "Okay, this from the woman who drives with all of the enthusiasm and skill of a pre-pubescent boy."
She returned his eye-roll and threw her duffle bag at him forcefully. "Hilarious."
Catching it with both arms, he smiled his patented 'Marty Deeks Super Charming Grin' at her. "Oh and you'd know all about what's hilarious, wouldn't you Miss snort-laughs-at-reruns-of-Gary-Unmarri-OW!" He was expecting her well-aimed punch to his shoulder - because she was Kensi Blye, and when did she not punch him? – but that didn't mean it hurt any less, and Deeks winced and raised his right hand to soothe what was destined to become a bruise as she spun on her heel (smug grin plastered across her face) and headed in the direction of the parking lot, a spring in her step.
He stood and watched her as she strode purposely ahead, a warm feeling settling in his chest. It was amazing really; to look at her now, no-one would ever guess that just two days ago she'd been (for all intents and purposes) dead. If it wasn't for the dressing stuck to her temple, the croak in her voice and the slight stiffness with which she carried herself due to the bruising on her chest, Deeks doubted anyone would even know she'd been injured at all.
But hey, that was Kensi Blye; indestructible, insupressible, indomitable, invincible and all those other words beginning with the letters 'IN' that were synonymous with 'total bad-ass'.
Of course, regardless of her current appearance, Deeks knew exactly what had happened, and as much as he'd like to erase that particular memory, it wasn't something he would be forgetting about any time soon. The last two nights were proof of that; he'd been haunted by the sound of gunshots and crashing waves, his partner's pale, lifeless face terrifying him every time he closed his eyes.
He hadn't lied to her when he admitted just how badly she'd scared him.
God, he had it bad for her.
He cast his mind back to that amazing moment a couple of nights ago after she'd woken up. He'd been emotional; she'd been sympathetic. He'd held her in his arms and she'd held him back with just as much fervour. In that moment, enveloped in her warm embrace, he'd honestly believed that she might just feel as strongly about him as she did about her, and he'd come so close – so dangerously close – to throwing caution to the wind, forgetting all the rules and just kissing her. He knew that if it wasn't for that Doctor interrupting, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself.
In the two days that had followed, the almost-kiss had played on his mind, but strangely the knowledge of how close he'd come to making a decision that would change them and their relationship forever, well, it wasn't as anywhere near as scary as it should have been.
In fact, if he was really honest with himself, the only negative emotion he felt now in respect of that moment was regret; he'd been interrupted before he'd had the chance to go through with it.
He'd spent so long hiding from his feelings for Kensi over the years that he'd known her, fearing them, certain that such feelings were a problem, a hindrance that he needed to just bury and forget about, so he wasn't entirely sure why his opinion had changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time. Maybe it was because he'd come so close to losing her forever. Maybe it was because she was so far out of his league they were on different planets. Maybe he just got tired of living in a constant state of denial.
Maybe it was all of those things, or maybe it was something else entirely.
Whatever it was, he wasn't going to hide from it anymore.
He was in love with Kensi Marie Blye - completely and irreversibly besotted with her –and he was going to do something that two days ago he would never have dreamed of doing.
He was going to tell her how he felt about her. He was going to tell her how he felt and have faith that she would feel the same way about him.
Maybe she wouldn't return his feelings, and everything would be destroyed between them, and that thought was so petrifying it didn't even bare thinking about.
But, on the other hand, maybe she did feel the same way, and if she did then there was a chance that they could be amazing together. It was a risk he was willing to take.
She must have been about 20 seconds down the footpath when she realised that he wasn't following her anymore and spun to face him, once again oblivious to his internal ponderings, and gave him a look that could have melted titanium. "Let's move, Deeks. I'd like to get home sometime before Christmas!"
Deeks sighed good-humouredly, swinging her duffle bag over his shoulder and jogging after her, adding the word 'insufferable' to his little Bad-Ass Blye checklist.
Of course, he wouldn't want her any other way.
"So, uh... I know you're eager to get back to that glorified laundry-pile that you call your lounge and all that girly reality crap on your TIVO box," he started as he fell into stride alongside her, nudging her arm with his elbow and winking at her with a whole hell of a lot more confidence than he was feeling at that moment, "but I was thinking that maybe we could go uh, grab something to eat first?"
She looked back at him, an enigmatic glint in her mismatched eyes as she took in the hopefully not too eager expression on his own face. "I don't know. Are you buying?"
"Don't I always?"
"Not Peanut Butter and Jelly I hope."
He laughed. "No, no P&J, I promise."
She grinned and nudged him back as they rounded the corner into the parking lot. "Then I'm in."
xxx
An hour later, and Deeks and Kensi were sharing Mezze on the veranda at one of Deeks' favourite family run Greek restaurants just off the 3rd St Boulevard. Kensi had originally wanted to head down to one of the food trucks on the beach for a chilli dog, but Deeks had vetoed that idea immediately. She'd acted like she was affronted, asking what was wrong with her suggestion and he'd managed to stammer out some feeble excuse about them celebrating her miraculous recovery and wanting to try something different for a change in response.
Really though, with the dreams he'd been having the last couple of nights he just couldn't bear the thought of being within earshot of the ocean while he ate.
He could tell by the sceptical look on his partner's face that she hadn't bought his justification for a second and that she knew exactly what was going on with him, but she was yet to push the issue of his sudden irrational dislike of the ocean, and for that he was beyond grateful. The last thing he needed was her steam-rolling him into talking about his neuroses while he was trying to eat his Keftèdes and Tzatziki.
Besides, he had other things on he needed to get off his chest today.
More important, slightly terrifying things.
He slowly became aware of the sound of the passing traffic on the street below, the lilting Bouzouki music from inside the main restaurant and of Kensi's conversational voice chattering away in between mouthfuls of food, and he realised he'd completely zoned out.
"…and then we took all our clothes off and rolled around in the mud together."
Wait, what?!
Okay, so that caught his attention, and Deeks looked up to Kensi sharply, fork halfway to his lips, completely stunned by those words as she popped another olive into her mouth, a smug expression on her face.
"You haven't been listening to a single word I've said this past five minutes, have you?"
He was so busted. "Um…"
Her features softened slightly. "Where were you just now?"
He laughed nervously. "What are you talking about, I'm right here,"
"I meant figuratively Deeks, and you know it."
She was staring at him expectantly, and all of a sudden he couldn't think of a single word to say in response. He just stared at her, frozen like a rabbit in the headlights while she sighed and wiped the olive oil off of her fingertips with a napkin.
"You know," she started, a small smile quirking at the corner of her mouth, "you've barely said a word since we got here. In the three years I've known you, the only time I ever saw you this quiet before was when you got shot. And that was only because you were unconscious at the time."
He let out a small huff of laughter at this, pushing the remnants of food around on his plate distractedly with his fork.
"So what gives Deeks?"
She was gazing at him with a warm expression on her face. He put his fork down and pushed his own plate away.
Okay Marty, time to either ruin your life or make all your dreams come true. Here we go.
He drew in a deep breath, placed both palms face down on the table, looked right into her eyes, and, without any preamble, took a huge leap of faith. "I'm in love with you."
Time seemed to slow down as he watched the compassionate expression slide off Kensi's gorgeous visage, replaced instead with a completely indecipherable expression, her eyes no longer looking at him, but staring off somewhere into the middle distance. The sound of the restaurant and the traffic on the street seemed to fade into silence and the detective swallowed uncomfortably as he waited for her to say something, anything in response.
When a few more seconds (or minutes, or hours, or however long it was) passed by and Kensi still hadn't said a word, Deeks started to seriously entertain the notion that he might have actually broken her. (Well, actually, he started to seriously entertain the notion that he might have just made the biggest mistake of his life, but he pushed that thought to the back of his mind for the time being. After all, there was no point in worrying about what he couldn't undo).
Another indeterminate measure of time passed by, throughout which a waiter actually came along and cleared the table, and Kensi still hadn't moved. Deeks decided that he couldn't take the silence for a moment longer. "Kens?" he prompted softly, mortified by the tremble in his voice when he spoke.
It was like she'd forgotten he was sitting there, and despite the tension of the moment he found it hard not to chuckle when her surprised mismatched eyes snapped back up to his own blue ones. He watched as she swallowed then licked her lips, trying to wipe the stunned expression of her face but failing miserably. "You're in love with me." She repeated his words back at him slowly, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.
He nodded, desperately trying to reign in the rising sense of trepidation within his heart as he placed his right hand over her left one on the table. The fact that she didn't immediately flinch away from his touch buoyed his fractured confidence a little.
"Since when?" she asked, a touch of incredulity slipping into her tone.
He couldn't believe she was so shocked by this. Hadn't it been totally obvious to her? "Um, I don't know. Like, forever?" he blustered nervously.
She blew out a shaky sigh of her own, looking for all intents and purposes like she'd just been kicked in the gut, and Deeks started to really panic. Had he totally misread her feelings towards him? He hadn't given any thought about what he would say to her after he told her he was in love with her. He hadn't let himself truly consider the consequences at all. He'd just pushed it all to the back of his mind since he'd made the insane decision to tell her his feelings, assuring himself that it would all be okay, that she'd understand, that she'd feel the same way and they'd waltz off, happily ever after into the sunset together.
God, he was such an idiot.
There were reasons, good reasons why he'd kept these feelings to himself for all those years, every one of those good reasons now flying through his mind at a thousand miles an hour. His heart seemed to turn to stone in his chest when he finally admitted to himself just how badly he'd managed to screw things up within such a tiny amount of time. What the hell was he thinking?
He was already speaking before he made any conscious decision to do so; desperate words spilling out of him like water from a broken dam.
"Look, I know that you don't like surprises, and that this is probably the biggest surprise you've had in years, so I'm sorry for that. We're partners, and I know that I'm not supposed to feel this way about you, but I just do Kens, and I can't just..." he realised he was starting to babble and cut himself off before he could really got going. He cleared his throat before trying to explain himself in a more coherent manner. "I've been in love with you for a really long time, and I tried to convince myself that it was enough to have you in my life as a friend, as my partner. I tried to tell myself that it was just a little crush, a thing," he couldn't help cocking a wry grin at her, "that I'd get over eventually. I've tried to ignore it, you know? But it didn't work. It was like, the more I tried to ignore it, the harder it got to ignore."
God, so much for not babbling Deeks, he thought to himself despairingly. He reached out with his other hand and held hers in both of his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles as her wide eyes filled with tears and he desperately tried to make her understand where he was coming from. "I almost lost you forever a couple of days ago and ever since then it's like I realised I couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't lie to myself anymore. Us being just friends, just partners, it's not enough. It will never be enough for me." A tear slipped down her face and his heart fractured a little bit more. "God Kens, I'm sorry. I know that's selfish of me, and I don't expect you to feel the same way but…"
"No." Her teary voice cut through his rambling confession and he pulled up short.
"No?" He knew there was a possibility that she didn't feel for him what he felt for her, but hearing her confirm it hurt a hell of a lot more than he was prepared for. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to run away. He tried to pull his hands away from hers but she reached out and captured them once again in her own.
"No Deeks, wait!" she started urgently. "That's not what I meant." She took a deep breath and tightened her grip on his fingers. "I meant, no, I don't not feel the same way about you."
Deeks felt his brow furrow as he tried to wrap his mind around that convoluted sentence, a small spark of hope igniting in his chest. "Okay, that was like, a triple negati…"
He never managed to complete his question, but he didn't have to. The sensation of soft hands on either side of his face as she stood and leaned over the table – the feel of her warm breath on his face and her lips pressed gently against his own was all the answer he needed.
His heart jumped up to his throat as he tilted his head back and returned the fragile, tentative kiss, his own hands raising up and wrapping around her tiny wrists, pulling her in closer to him over the (suddenly extremely annoying) table for two.
Eventually, Kensi smiled against his lips and the kiss came to an end (as all good things must). She pulled away from him and sat back in her seat, but their hands remained joined together over the table, Deeks smiling so wide he thought his face might split in two.
And then Kensi, ever the wordsmith, uttered out the one sentence he thought he'd never ever hear her say. "In case that wasn't clear enough Detective Deeks," she started, tone husky, face serious, "I love you too, you dumb-ass!"
He laughed heartily. Trust his Kensi to be incapable of expressing any kind of positive emotion toward him without insulting him in the process. "Really? With the name-calling?"
She smiled back, obviously choosing to ignore the second part of that question. "Really really."
He was seriously considering kissing her again when their waitress interrupted them, clearing her throat to capture the attention of the love-struck pair before her. Deeks dragged his eyes away from his partner reluctantly and looked up at the young Mediterranean woman expectantly.
"Can I offer you any desserts or coffees sir?"
He looked back over to Kensi's smiling face to see what she wanted to do and as she shook her head a sense of peace and contentment, the likes of which he'd never felt before, overwhelmed him. He was in love with Kensi Marie Blye, and for some crazy, incomprehensible reason, she was in love with him too.
"No thanks," he replied with a grin, never breaking Kensi's own happy gaze. "I've got everything I need right here."
It was the truth, and when Kensi smiled back at him happily, rubbing his thumbs with her own, it occured to him that one chapter of the story of his life had just ended, and a new, much more exciting chapter had begun.
And honestly, with Kensi Blye by his side? He couldn't wait to see how it turned out.
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Fin
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A/N: Sequel?
