Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
"You, Amish?" Sam laughs a little.
"I'm not kidding. I was Amish."
"You're serious?"
"Yes."
"Then how are you even here?"
"I lived in Holmes County, Ohio, and almost half the residents are Amish. My community did this thing, and when you were eighteen or so, you went outside the community and lived there for a little while."
"And did what?"
"Well, they were basically offering you a choice. Go and see the real world, and if you want to stay in it, than you can. Or you can come back and stay in the lifestyle."
"So you stayed in the real world?"
I laugh bitterly. "I wasn't planning to. I was fine with all the rules. No drinking. No electronics. No smoking. No drugs. No gambling. No premarital sex. I had a crush on the boy who lived down the road from me, and our parents were discussing marriage. I was going to return and settle down and get married and have children, just like I had always wanted."
"Your parents were discussing marriage?" Sam sounds shocked.
I shrug nonchalantly. "You get married young there."
"But you didn't go."
"During my time away, I lived with some of the other kids from our communities. Three boys and two other girls. They were- they were crazy. They drank every night and smoked pot and slept together… I hated living with them. I was planning to return almost immediately, and I made sure they knew it. They convinced me to go on a camping trip to celebrate me choosing."
"Camping?" Sam frowns. "Camping always leads to bad things."
"That night, they were all in their tents, sleeping, and I was sitting beside the fire we had made because I was cold. And all of a sudden, something big just swept me up."
"What was it?"
"Wendigo. But I didn't know it. As it was dragging my back to its layer, I remember grabbing the flint and steel because it was dark, and I needed something on my that would keep me going. Something that gave me a little hope."
"So it took you back to its layer?"
"My roommates, too. I watched them die slowly for days. It ate them. I managed to get my hands untied, but I waited until I saw it leave so I could know how to get out. When it came back and came over to me to start eating me, I lit it on fire."
"You lit it on fire? But you didn't have any training or anything!"
"I didn't know it would kill the the thing, but it did. And then I got out, and I ran."
"And you didn't go home?"
"No. I went back to our apartment, and I took all the money all of us had, and some food, and sold everything else. Then I took our car and set out. I basically thought 'Hey, I've already committed an atrocity and killed something. Why not kill other things and start saving people.' I've met some other hunters along the way that have helped me and given me tips and pointers."
"So that's why you're a virgin and you don't drink?"
"I gamble to make money," I say with a sigh. "I was a virgin. It came in handy whenever I needed to do rituals that required the blood of a virgin. And now that I've broke that, too, I guess a drink wouldn't hurt."
"Oh, no. You are not getting drunk on my hands."
I frown. "Why not?"
"Because you might go crazy and beat the crap out of me."
I shrug. "Are you scared?"
"Of you? Yes. The first time you saw me, you broke my nose. Nice kick, by the way. I never complimented you on that."
"Thanks. But I'm going to need a drink eventually."
"When Dean and Cas get back. That way, they can hold you back if you decide to go nuts on me."
I sigh. "What am I going to do?"
"What do you mean?" Sam asks.
"I can't let other people know that I've slept with someone before I'm married!" I practically screech. "Especially your brother and the angel!"
Sam snorts. "Believe me, Cas doesn't care. Neither does Dean. Most of his personality is drinking, gambling, and premarital sex. That, and annoying the hell out of me."
"But still…" I say. "This is ingrained in my system. I can't change my mindset."
"Dean might get mad about a baby, though."
"Really?" I ask. "He doesn't strike me as someone who doesn't like children."
"Yeah. Dean had an adopted son once, and that didn't work out too well."
"What?" I ask, stunned. "Dean had a son?"
"It's a long story," Sam says. "Basically, the kid's mom almost died because of Dean, so he got Cas to take him out of their memories, and Dean told me that if I ever mentioned them to him again he'd kill me. So yeah, I don't think that Dean would like having a baby in the bunker."
"I could put it up for adoption," I say quietly.
"No," Sam says. "No matter how much I don't want this to be true, that's my baby, and demons will find it and use it to hurt me. We have to keep it here, in the bunker, where it's safe."
"Maybe…" I suddenly get an idea. I don't like it, but it'll do. "I'll leave once I start showing and lay low. I'll come back a few months later with a baby, and I'll say I found it on a hunt. We'll both sort of adopt it."
Sam sighs. "I feel really bad about raising a child like that."
"So do I."
"But that's a good plan."
"So we're doing it?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says sadly. "I guess."
"When should I leave?" I ask.
"Whenever you want."
"I'll leave in three months, I guess. Right before I start showing."
"Okay. But why are you going to leave?"
I think for a few seconds. "If I'm going to have a baby, I shouldn't be hunting. I don't want to live this way anymore anyway. I want to have a normal life with a steady job and a permanent home."
Sam smiles sadly. "You do already."
