Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn - A star shines on the hour of our meeting (Q)

Le vanae - You are beautiful (Q)

Atar - Father (Q)

Ontáre - Mother (Q)

Updated: 3/24/15


The Decision

"We will talk later, after your council with father. You will inform me on what has transpired between you two, correct?" Artanis queried as she delicately made her way to the door. The white jewels that were securely twisted into her golden tresses reflected light from the sun streaming through my open balcony, generating an angelic glow that hovered around her perfect frame. Her soul-searching sapphire blue eyes met mine and I felt a chill run down my spine.

Once the feeling registered into my system, I shook it off incredulously. There was nothing to fear from Artanis. Indeed, the amount spiritual power she possessed was both phenomenal and unquestionable. Regardless, she is, and will always be, my younger, precious sibling. Sighing in exasperation at her obvious intentions, I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead wearily. "Of course, if it is what you wish."

With a large grin plastered upon her fair face, she nodded eagerly in a somewhat childish way before departing out the door. Oh Artanis. . . still an elfling I see. A part of me was shaking her head at the ludicrous thought of Artanis as a child, but the other half was smiling fondly at her actions.

Blowing out a large gust of air, I rose to prepare myself for the long day ahead.

After discarding my nightshift for my daily robes, I found myself in the corridor that led to father's study facing none other than the one who caused confusion-filled turmoil within my heart. "Ithilia," Haldir saluted me with a small smile playing upon his sculpted lips.

My body automatically bowed into a curtsy in response. "Haldir," I whispered.

"You look radiant today," he complimented, causing a pleasurable flush to creep up my neck.

The hair that usually hung free on both sides of my face were loosely pulled back to be intertwined with each other as it, at the same time, covered my ears. A beautiful, intricate silver circlet with a moonstone embedded in the center rested securely upon the crown of my head as the vines branching out from the sides traced the hair that was swept away. The circlet reconciled behind my head, just above the place where my side-hair wove together, holding the style in place. The rest of my hair flowed freely around, behind, and over my shoulders in waves down to the bottom of my behind.

The silver chiffon neckline of my dress started at the points of my shoulders as it dipped downward in a v-line to my sternum where a complexly-designed brooch of father's symbol rested. From the shoulders, the long, nearly transparent, flowing sleeves fell like water down my arms, its smooth and soft texture gliding like a lover's caressing breath across my skin. Small, starlight-blue hued floral designs curled away and within itself in an ethereal arrangement at the foot of my dress and underneath my bosom.

The multi-colored dress was, by no means, form-fitting yet it somehow accentuated the few curves I had. The piece was meant to be used on formal occasions to have the one who wore it have an air of power and maturity. Frankly, I felt more at ease when I was adorned in this outfit. The others were merely too demanding with all the complicated laces and their many layers.

However I could not even begin to compare myself to Haldir.

His bangs were pulled up and over his head while the top of his side hairs were pulled back to be braided over the mane that was drawn back. The remaining hair, sides included, was left alone as its natural silkiness and slight curvature spilled over and around his able, broad shoulders. He wore a blue, turtle-necked, long-sleeved tunic underneath a sky-blue, open neck, floor-length robe. The robe had white intricate designs that weaved across his chest, to the open-neck, up his shoulders and down his biceps. The flowing sleeves only reached to the middle of his forearms, showing his lean muscles that weren't overbearing like Aegnor's. I noted, with steadily rising horror, that I found Haldir attractive.

A simple navy-blue silk belt was tethered at his waist, accentuating his lithe form.

"If you two are quite done. . ."

I lifted my head to look at the second elf who had taken up a languid, uninterested stance.

Surprisingly, I hadn't noticed Rúmil beside Haldir. However now that I have, I felt something burning red iron-hot within me like Lord Aulë's forges. From antecedent encounters with the brothers, I surmised that they had Ñoldo blood running through their veins. Judging by their behavior and build, of course. "Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn," I said crisply, minding my manners despite my personal perspectives.

"Likewise, Lady Ithilia." Rúmil replied just as quietly. The tension in the air was palpable, causing the muscles in my arms to shiver. Cúran is not here, Ithilia. Do not move. I inhaled swiftly, locking my muscles in place. The place where the elven dagger rested customarily on the side of my right thigh, in its sheath, was barren for I did not need any weapons when visiting kin.

"Where are you off to?" Haldir directed my attention back onto him to prevent any verbal fights commencing between me and his younger brother. Giving the ellon a brief, thankful smile, I tilted my head at the hallway behind him and his ridiculous brother.

"Just answering a summon from my father is all. What about you?"

As Haldir opened his mouth, Rúmil suddenly barked, "Ah, Celvawen, Arawen!" and darted off toward two identical maidens that were strolling, arms linked, through the courtyard beside us.

"Rúm— Ai." Haldir sighed, a vein straining in his neck as annoyance rippled through his stoic features. An amused smile played on my lips. I have experienced this same feeling a millenia ago, when Angrod was an adventurous young adult before he met Eldalótë. Haldir straightened out his back and shook his head wearily as he turned back to me. "My apologies—"

"Do not apologize. . . You have committed no crime." I raised a brow as I cut him off rudely, not wanting to hear any more of this nonsense.

"Of course," He grinned, his silver eyes flashing in amusement at my witticism. "Ah, I nearly failed to remember. . . here." Rummaging through the elegant folds of his robes, he produced a beautiful, royal blue necklace that shimmered alluringly in the dark corridor. Cradling it as if it were a fragile object, which I was sure it was, he slowly untangled the twisted steel. "It was my mother's."

Was?

"Is she no longer a part of this world?" I murmured timidly, looking up at the taller elf through my lashes. I did not want to cause him any trouble, especially if it involved something personal.

Haldir shook his head mutely as he carefully held up the necklace by its silver chains, staring at the shifting hues in a forlorn way. Oh Haldir. I felt strangely disconsolate as I placed a hand on my sternum. My fëa twisted in sorrow as I looked upon the ellon's beautiful, yet desolate, countenance.

"Do not despair for me, Ithilia. It has been many centuries since she has passed over to Lord Námo for judgement. . . To be truthful, I hadn't thought of this pendant until I met you. Its mesmerizing components reminded me of your eyes." Oh my. . . Swallowing heavily at the possible endearment, I clasped my hands before me to still my trembling. Only his voice can cause all the nerves in my body to fall into an assemblage of nothingness, numbing me into oblivion.

"That is. . . very charming of you." I finally said, tilting my head in what I hoped was curiosity for I was genuinely interested in his intentions. Where is he going with this. . ?

Without any warning, Haldir stepped forward until only an inch of space remained between us. I nearly expired, but I held my place as he brushed my hair over my right shoulder, exposing my neck. The innocent flush, which had previously withdrawn, came back full-force like a blow to the gut. Once Haldir's fingers and the cold metal links skimmed over my inflamed skin, I shuddered.

The light, feathery caress of Haldir's fingers mixed with the refreshing, yet biting coldness of the metal caused my mental state to become completely befuddled. All of my senses dimmed and focused on him. His close proximity, his woodland scent, his toe-curling warmth. . . When he linked the chains together behind my neck, he moved my hair back to its original position, caressing the strands as he did. "It is the first time I've ever seen such pale hair. . ." He murmured to himself, seemingly in deep thought, though I knew better.

Even so, I closed my eyes to savor this short moment between us.

"—hith."

Blinking furiously, I tried to gather my scattered wits to understand the ellon's words. "Pardon me?"

"Asëahith. 'Tis the name of the piece." He smirked, tapping the necklace lightly and I blushed. I was sure that the heat emanating from me could heat even the coldest person. He was laughing at my stupefied state!

"I. . . I cannot accept this, Haldir." I stuttered quietly, looking up into his now-intense, silver eyes as I placed a hand on the warmed leaf-shaped gem.

"I want you to have it." He whispered, his perfectly shaped brows knitting together. "Consider it as a promise for our next meeting. . . I am quite sure I have the same effect on you as you do to me." He added the last part quietly, huskily.

What.

"W—"

"Haldir, what are you doing? Come, Arawen wishes to meet you." Rúmil appeared out of nowhere, clasping a hand on Haldir's shoulder and nearly dragging said ellon away. Haldir gave his brother a scathing glare before he looked at me gently, his eyes conveying his farewell as he mouthed his words.

I shall see you later, írimaer.

And with that, he was gone.

Led off by his idiot of a brother to two giggling ellith, leaving me to my shock.

Írimaer. . .

Covering my heated face with my hands, I bit my lips as multiple emotions raged within me.

Embarrassment.

Disbelief.

Joy.

Absolute, positive confoundment.

Mentally berating myself, I took in a deep, shuddering breath as I slowly made my way over toward the secret balcony hidden by the leaves of a tree, gravely requiring fresh air. Placing a hand on the cold stone banister, I relished the gentle breeze shifting through the air as it combed through my hair.

"Are you a warrior or a scholar, Haldir?" An elleth purred and I looked down to see Haldir, Rúmil and some ellith standing in the gentle rays of the afternoon sun.

"Warrior." He answered curtly, stoically looking away to show his disinterest. With eyes reaching for the heavens at his attitude, I leaned on my forearms so I could get a better view. Haldir was trained in the art of combat? It would explain his strength.

"Oh my, do you not like warriors, Arawen?" Celvawen gushed, violently tugging on her friend's arm as they giggled like elflings. I think my patience is wearing out. Haldir sustained his neutrality while Rúmil continued to expertly tease them. I could see that their personalities differed greatly.

"I do. . ." Arawen flushed, looking up at Haldir through her long lashes as she pushed a strand of golden brown hair behind her pointed ear. With a forceful nudge from her friend, Arawen sidled up to the said ellon and feigned a stumble. It did not surprise me when Haldir automatically reached out to catch her, for I knew that he was a courteous elf. However, when she dared to place her arms around Haldir's neck, something within me flared in burning hot anger. . . No. It wasn't anger.

What is this?

Blinking in quick succession, I unsteadily stepped away from the balcony.

My chest tightened, causing my breaths to come out ragged and uneven.

My head pounded as my pulse became unnaturally loud, drowning out the noise around me.

My heart burned with both hurt and understanding.

My body trembled uncontrollably as my hands balled into fists.

Stepping back from the balcony and back into the corridor, I involuntarily clutched myself at my waist, withdrawing into the sanctuary within my mind. Why does this scene playing out before me start an endless, raging fire that courses through my veins? My natural element was air, not fire. . . so why? Why does it bother me so? I have seen others in the same situation, yet I have walked on without a care. I shook my head violently, causing the necklace resting on my sternum, above my bosom, to fall out before me.

As I gazed at the mixture of many shades of white and blue swirling before me, I remembered Haldir's words spoken to me not ten minutes ago.

"Consider it as a promise for our next meeting."

"I shall see you later, írimaer."

Feeling absolutely mortified, I shook my head. I should not give too much thought into this. "Lady Ithilia." With my heart trying to escape my body, I turned around to see Ilphas standing behind me, a robe draped over the crook of his right arm.

As a scholar, healer, chamberlain and an advisor to my father, Ilphas was the ideal elf to seek if help was required. With a pair of unusual golden eyes, midnight black hair and tall stature, you'd suspect him to be a warrior. However upon closer inspection, you could see that his eyes were gentle, not stoic or battle-hardened. I knew him only through his wife, Lendia—a beautiful elleth with green eyes and maroon hair who acted as Finrod and I's caretaker when our parents were occupied—and of course, my father.

Ilphas and Lendia were Draugthal's parents which is another factor in how I knew the coupled elves. "Your father is in the gardens with Hiswaonna, milady." He rumbled on, tilting his head to the right which caused his loosely bound hair to fall over his wide shoulder. "Is everything alright?"

Quickly uncrossing my arms at the concern in his eyes, I answered. "Yes," I cleared my throat to get rid of the huskiness in it. "Yes, everything is perfect. Thank you for inquiring and for informing me where my father is. Will you say hello to Lendia for me?" My voice, I noted with weary pride, was strong and nonchalant.

Ilphas touched his brow with his free hand. "Of course. Ah, convey Lendia and I's thanks to your mother for the new dress; Lendia loves the floral pattern." He smiled at me warmly and I reciprocated it easily. This ellon has been in my life since I was a small babe.

"I will endeavor to do that. Good day, Ilphas."

"Good day, Lady Ithilia."

With a final exchange of pleasantries, the two of us parted ways. I felt much better now, after the encounter with Ilphas. My equilibrium was finally restored, for now. Sighing heavily, I clasped my hands before me and proceeded down the hall toward mother's celestial gardens.

-o-o-o-o-

"Le vanae, Hiswaonna. You do not need to fear." I heard father's soothing voice before I actually saw him. Placing a hand on the explicitly carved arch interwoven with flowers that led into a secret grove, I turned the corner and saw father with Hiswaonna, a great, four feet, gray-hued canine with deep blue eyes that stared into your soul.

Hiswaonna looked away, apparently insulted at whatever phrase father had just uttered. Though she was not capable of speech, the wolfhound understood spoken words. When I stepped forward from the shadows, two pairs of eyes landed on me.

Pushing herself upright, Hiswaonna barked once and wandered over to me, brushing the entire length of her long body against my side. As she aligned herself with me, her wise eyes found mine and I knew that she sensed something was wrong. Though I doubt she would tell father, I could see the message in her eyes.

Finarfin will know.

However fortunately, for now, she didn't do anything to alert my father and instead walked over to him to lay down at his feet.

"Thank you, Hiswaonna." Father murmured, stroking the canine's head. "Ithilia." He invited, patting the open space beside him. Feeling like a small child under his scrutinizing gaze, I silently accepted his offer to sit. Once I finished adjusting my skirts that had bunched up beneath my legs, he started conversation. "How do you fare this fine day?"

"Fine, father."

Just like Hiswaonna, his eyes met mine in a piercing manner. "You are not. Do not attempt to trick me, for will I know when you have. Is it something you wish to discuss?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head inaudibly. Discussing Haldir with father was simply too. . . daunting. The way his silver-blue eyes stared into the soul. . . and I sincerely doubted I wanted father, who was already burdened with many problems as king of the Noldor, to be dragged into my insignificant problems.

No, I needed to solve this dilemma myself.

"I will be here, and so will your mother, should your require any assistance." Father's perfect brows drew in together into a worried slant and I waved him off.

"It is a trivial matter I can remedy, do not worry yourself over my problems, atar."

"If you are sure. . ." Despite the normal exchanges, we both knew what we were here for and we were both delaying the inevitable by straying away from the subject. It is the sole reason why Hiswaonna disregarded us so easily.

Steeling myself, I looked up at father's resigned features; he would accept any answer I chose to walk upon. "I will join them. You were correct; Artanis is still young and untrained. Guidance is necessary when it comes to her and neither Angrod nor Aegnor can teach her how to control her power."

Father nodded in agreement before his eyes shifted into those of a wild beast filled with fierce maternal protection. "I trust that you will take care of them?"

"Of course. Until I can no longer breathe, I will watch over them."

Raising from my seated position, I placed a hand on my sternum. "I will not allow them to die before me, I assure you."

Shaking his head in weary amusement, father sighed. "Off you go, your mother wishes to speak with you as well."

"Oh?"

"On the open balcony in the Northernmost wing of the castle."

Nodding once in understanding, I reached over to give Hiswaonna a goodbye-caress on the ear. From the canine's throat came a pleased purr as she accepted my attention. "Farewell, father." I smiled, to which he returned warmly, before I turned away.

A few minutes later, I found myself walking down the beautiful marble corridors of the North Wing. The thought of Haldir's scent came, unbidden, to my mind causing a flush to cover my cheeks for the umpteenth time that day. It was a miracle I was able to remain on my feet then and even now, for my fëa danced in joy at the mere mention of the ellon. The rational side of me was paralyzed with horror at these undignified thoughts of another being, for they went against mother and father's teachings. My heart, however, completely and without any form of hesitation, went against the set of rules that I had been following my entire life.

"Ithilia!"

Halting in my tracks, I looked around and realized that I had passed the entrance to the balcony where mother was. Sheepishly scurrying back the way I came, I slowed down my hurried pace just as I turned the corner to swiftly descend down the flight of stairs that stood before me. "Good afternoon, ontáre." I greeted as I lowered down to place a kiss upon mother's silver brow.

"For a moment, I thought you had thought us as dead." She smiled teasingly.

"Never!" I gasped, horrified that she would even suggest such a thing.

"She jests, sister. Do not be so pensive." Artanis moaned, throwing her head back in apparent exasperation.

Affronted by her behavior, I lowered myself onto the vacant seat beside mother who took my stiff hand and gently massaged the tense muscles. As her comforting scent consisting of sweet flowers swept over me, along with the soft caresses upon my hand, I temporarily failed to remember my current problems and became an elfling all over again.

No.

I shook off the nostalgic feelings I currently felt. I cannot withdraw into myself any longer, for others need my help. "I know, Artanis." I murmured, relaxing back into the cushioned seat as I enjoyed the cold breeze that fluttered through the open area. Though it does not hurt to unguard myself once in a while. "Ah, I nearly forgot. Ilphas and Lendia love the dress you delivered, mother."

"Really?" Mother's eyes lit up considerably as she gave me a breathtakingly beautiful smile. It was during these moments where I understood why father always stated that mother's beauty couldn't compare to anyone else's. "I was venturing onto foreign territory with a new sewing technique. I'm glad Lendia likes the gift." She enthused, clasping her hands together before her.

I took this opportunity to retrieve my hand from her lap. Meanwhile, Artanis rolled her eyes as she shifted her interested gaze toward me. "What did father say to you?"

Giving a slight shrug of my shoulders nonchalantly, I patted dust off my right knee. "Sailing matters."

"Sailing? Are you going—" Artanis' eyes widened in understanding before one could say Elbereth Gilthoniel. She stood up so rapidly and so vehemently, the chair she previously occupied nearly toppled over as it teetered precariously on one leg. Fortunately, it regained its balance. "What is your resolve?"

Yay or nay? "Calm yourself," I sighed, raising a hand to placate her impatience. "I said I would be going," At her growing excitement, I shook my head, "for I do not feel comfortable leaving you three alone in the wilderness without a supervisor."

Rolling her eyes at me once more, she gave me a bright grin as she rushed over to the threshold of the open balcony. "Artanis, where are you going?" I called, though I knew I did not need an answer to know where she was headed. She was already long gone either way.

"I am going to tell them!" Her voice ricocheted off of the pristine walls of the castle and I placed a hand on my forehead.

"Exasperating, isn't she?" Mother tittered and I peeked up through my lashes, gauging her reaction. Though there was a hint of sadness in her blue eyes, I could also see the pride and satisfaction lurking within those mesmerizing depths.

"And insufferable." I piped in wearily, adjusting my skirts.

Mother leaned back in her seat as she fiddled with the proof of her union with father; a beautiful sapphire ring. "I don't suppose you have started educating her on that matter?"

My entire body stilled. "No." I uncharacteristically peeped out.

As mother laughed, my cheeks heated as hot blood rushed into them. "I jest. . . Asëahith?"

"Pardon me?" I blinked up at her, thinking I heard wrong.

"Your necklace. 'Tis the name, is it not? I have heard tales of coupled elves exchanging a leaf fabricated out of Lady Nienna's mournful tears as she witnessed the pains of love." She tilted her head as a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "Whoever gave this to you must be an admirer."

Haldir as a devotee?

At the thought of him pining after me like a lost puppy, a disbelieving giggle erupted from my throat. "Do not laugh, daughter of mine." Mother chided, though I could see the warm laughter in her soft eyes.

"My apologies, mother." I laughed, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Merely, I cannot believe you all think I have some kind of infatuation with an ellon and he to I."

"You are infatuated, mentally. I see it in your eyes. . . look, even now your body agrees with me. I know love when I see it, Ithilia."

"But I do not." I whispered, the mirth giving way to the heaviness of the truth.

Smiling sadly, mother reached over to place a hand on mine. "If only we had more time. . . I will have to make do with what we have, it seems."