A/N: It's the end of their weekend - and some things can surprise Anna, not all in a good way. Please bear with me! First and fourth sections are M-rated, but I wouldn't miss them as they're very important. Would absolutely love to know your thoughts - and I hope all these mature scenes aren't being the same old boring thing every time!


VII.

John applied some lotion on his face and took a look in the mirror - he thought he didn't look too bad this morning, but best to keep presentable. As the foam began to form on his face, he wondered if Anna would like it if he sported a beard; he didn't think they had ever been together when he had more than a day's stubble. A small smile crossed his face as he went over their morning so far - it was almost noon now, and they had had a hearty breakfast a couple of hours earlier only to fall back into bed and enjoy over an hour of certain... Activities. He couldn't help it; when he thought he needed a rest, one look at Anna and he was ready again.

He began to shave, slowly but with practice, and just then Anna appeared on the doorway, cheeks still red from their previous engagement and eyes slightly glazed. He gave her a smile and she entered the bathroom, letting out a little sigh before sitting on the long bathroom counter, just beside the sink. She borrowed his white shirt he had worn the night before, though only a couple of buttons were buttoned, whilst the top ones were very much showing a big part of her chest - teasing him.

"What is it?" he asked as she swayed her legs, letting out a yawn.

"I just thought I'd keep you company," she answered simply, giving him a smile and scratching the skin between her breasts, which was slightly red now - probably his fault. "Did you ever cut yourself?"

"Only when I was a boy," John said with a chuckle. Anna watched him with interest.

Anna tilted her head. "I'd like to see you with a stubble. It must look nice."

John smiled. "I'll try to grow one for our next time together, then," he commented, and she broke his gaze; he did not understand. Half his face was done. He washed the razor once more and offered it to her. "Want to try it?"

Anna arched her eyebrows in surprise. "Me?"

"Who else?"

She picked the razor, and he stepped in front of her, between her legs. Her right hand reached for his chin, and he could see she let out a shaky breath. It was quite surprising, the dynamic they had - he felt as if they learned something new every day. It broke his heart how Anna seemed so experienced in some areas whilst she struggled to grasp some intimacy - intimacy that would creep up between them when they least expected, such as moments like these.

"Do you trust me?" she half joked, the razor on his cheek.

"Intimately," he said, and he meant it.

Her touch was light and precise, asking for directions at first but quickly getting the hang of it. He watched as she moved in front of him - her slow breathing, her silky skin. He could see her belly button from his position above her and that mesmerized him. His hands were on her thighs, just because. He stroked the skin there.

"Don't distract me," she mumbled, giving him a mock hard look.

"I'm not," he said.

Anna laughed. "Yes, you are," she moved the razor in a different angle, her eyes settled on the task at hand.

"I can't help it," John revealed, moving one hand up and unbuttoning the first button he encountered. "You look way too tempting wearing my clothes."

"They are comfortable," she defended herself, "and I like that they smell like you."

He smiled, one of his hands traveling up on her thigh; he couldn't find any underwear. He groaned; it seemed almost surreal. Twenty minutes ago, he had been inside her. And now, he already ached to see the sweet expression on her face when he gave her pleasure. It was far too soon for his body to get ready for something, but he was quite sure he could entice such a reaction from her. Another button was unbuttoned. Only one left. The movement left a nipple uncovered.

Anna put the razor away, resting it on the sink, and reached for a towel. "There, I think it's all done."

He accepted the towel, and took a look in the mirror behind her. He nodded in approval; it looked perfect. Anna's palm stroked his cheek.

"It's smooth," she commented.

"You do it better than me already," he said, his hands reaching behind her and bringing her closer. She came willingly, relaxed in his arms. Her lips were still red from kissing - she looked beautiful. He caught them in a slow kiss, whilst his hand worked on freeing the one button left.

"What are you up to?" Anna asked lazily when he released her lips, kissing her jaw instead. The open shirt now revealed her deliciously nude body. He stopped to watch her for a moment before resting his hands on her hips.

"Nothing," he lied, leaning down to catch one of her nipples in his mouth, lightly between his teeth. She let out a shaky breath, one of her hands grasping at his hair.

He caught her other breast in his hand, massaging it. He hadn't had enough time to cherish her - their activities suddenly rushed when she was in control. He wanted to explore her, properly, as best as he could. He might as well start now.

He moved his free hand between her leg, lightly touching the skin there. Anna's grasp on him turned tighter. He pinched a nipple between his fingers, and with his other hand parted her folds. Her hips unconsciously shifted, offering herself to him. My god, she was wet. He ran a hand over her, up and down, leaving her moist all over. She let out a sweet moan against his ear, and he pulled away from her breast, wanting to look at her face. His middle finger began to massage her down, slowly. She was still swollen from their previous encounter, but he could tell she wanted more.

He kissed her lips, and moved his hand, slipping two fingers inside her. Anna moaned. He moved his thumb against her sensitive skin, his fingers moving in and out. She bit her lip, squirming beneath him. One of her hands roughly stroked his chest, while the other dug at his shoulder. He didn't stop his movements.

"John," she hissed, throwing her head back. He had never heard a sweeter sound before. "Oh."

Her moans turned more urgent and he felt her clenching around his fingers, her eyes dark and hazy, and he never wanted to forget that. She clung to him, and he stilled his movements, pulling his fingers out of her soon, stroking her lightly there, leaving a wet trace of herself on her skin. Beautiful.

Her breathing was hard, but she pulled him even closer, opening her lips to give him a deep, slow kiss. His arms embraced her slim waist close.

"What was that for?" Anna said when she pulled away, their faces mere inches from each other.

He grinned. "I want to make you happy."

She smiled, and kissed him again.

He had said the right thing, then.


John smiled as Robert talked animatedly of the plans for a new hotel in London and the opening of another in Scotland; the group was going fairly well, and John was glad that he could be considered part of it. Robert had given him the best chance of his life when he was offered the job; after the divorce, it was the one thing that kept him going, even if he felt as if his life had been in a state of limbo until a few weeks ago. Until Anna.

She was talking to Mary, wearing that lovely white dress they bought the previous day. Had it really only been two days since he picked her up in London? It felt like so much more - it felt like an eternity. Or perhaps too short altogether; he couldn't believe tomorrow they would go back.

He wasn't too excited about that. He wasn't sure how, but he had to tell Anna that he didn't want to be her client anymore. Things were too deep - he would understand if she didn't want him. He was older, of course. And he knew he should be careful. He was well off, and she needed money. But he knew her. He trusted her. It was more than sex, more than chemistry even. He had never felt like this before.

"We're booked until January," Robert's voice shook him out of his reverie. "Not bad for a Yorkshire hotel, huh?"

"No," John agreed, "not bad at all."

Anna's eyes met his. She smiled, a smile that belonged only to him. He knew it. He replied her with one of his own.

"She's lovely, by the way. Your companion," Robert commented. "How the hell did you meet her? Mary tells me she works for an accounting company."

John nodded; Anna hadn't lied. "We had some mutual acquaintances."

"I'm not sure for how long this has been going on but I can tell you she's crazy about you," Robert took a sip of the champagne.

John took his eyes off Anna and looked at his friend. "Really?"

Robert made a face. "Absolutely! Don't you think I noticed how quick you were to leave the gala yesterday? She couldn't take her eyes off you. And I'd say it's a mutual thing."

John shook his head in disbelief, looking at Anna again. Their eyes met for just a second before she looked away.

"And Mary liked her," Robert noted. "Cora did too, but you know how difficult Mary is."

John nodded, though his eyes found someone else's - and he frowned, before the person in question looked away, talking to someone else. How odd. Robert was still talking of Mary and Anna, though John wasn't particularly listening anymore.

"What's Carlisle doing here?"

"Oh, you know," Robert shrugged, "business. The board still hasn't decided if we should accept the offer of a partnership for that hotel in London. I haven't talked much to him - there's something I don't like about him, but I don't know what. It's probably nothing."

John nodded. He had voted against the partnership.

"You don't like him," Robert said. It wasn't a question.

"I think he does his business in a different way than we do," John drank the remaining champagne in his glass. "And while I'm all for trying new things, I think we should stick to our way in this case."


Anna found herself alone as the garden party slowly faded and the day came to an end. She spent most of the time with John and later with Mary and Elsie, and had a very fun conversation with Tom Branson regarding certain Irish habits. She was sure John would want to leave soon, considering some people were already leaving, and she thought she heard Robert inviting them for dinner at one of the Abbey's restaurants later tonight.

She would have to ask John when would they leave the next day. She had to make sure she was all packed and she hoped she wouldn't leave anything behind. They had had such a lovely day - after such a lazy morning, they strolled around the village and she even ran into a girl she went to school with. They had lunch at the pub and walked back towards the Abbey, making the most of such a lovely sunny day.

She never wanted it to end.

But time was ticking, and as much as she didn't want to think about it, she had to. They had tonight - and only tonight. Tomorrow, everything would be different. Everything would have to be different.

She declined the waiter's offer for some sweet macaroni and champagne, and her eyes found John, standing, talking to a man she didn't know. His eyes weren't friendly - he looked angry. The man he was talking to turned - he was tall and blonde, and his eyes found hers. She looked away, feeling a little intimidated - were they talking of her? It couldn't be. She didn't know anyone in this party.

When Anna looked back, John was talking to Robert again, still not with a very friendly expression, and the man was walking away. She realised she still had some champagne left in her glass on the table and reached for it, drinking the rest. The man was walking towards her. She didn't know him - but he looked vaguely familiar. She stood up, hoping to catch John's attention. When she looked into the man's eyes, she remembered.

The man with blue eyes. At the hotel, on her first night with John.

"I've spoken to your man," the man said, in a calming but odd tone. "I must say, it's a surprise to see you here."

"Likewise."

"Your presence here is a good asset for me, though," he continued. "When your boss called me to let me know Bates had accepted you, I was surprised. But I did not know he would like you so much."

She didn't like the mention of Thomas.

"How's that a good thing for you?" Anna asked.

"You see, Bates had voted against our partnership," the man explained. "But now he'll have to vote differently, considering he won't want his name associated with a prostitute. But I must say, you are playing your part very well."

Anna frowned.

"He seems more interested in making sure no one knows about your true job than making sure he isn't ruined," the man shook his head. "You'd think he would know what a whore you are."

Anna gulped, staring at her feet. The tears stung in the back of her eyes.

"And imagine how that would be to the Crawleys and the Grantham corporation," the man let out a fake sigh. "To be linked to one of London's best prostitution agencies. It would ruin their reputation," Anna looked up at him then. "So I thank you, love. Your boss did mention you were the best for this business transaction."

"Is there a problem here?" John's voice startled her. "I believe we're already spoken enough today, Richard."

"I was just talking to my business associate," the man named Richard said, stepping away from her. "I'll leave you be. Thank you again, Anna."

She didn't care how he knew her name. She felt used - manipulated, even. She couldn't let John deal with the consequences - his business would be affected, and if they kept seeing each other, it would be even more so. She knew they would have to end things soon but - this only made it more real. She felt John's hand against hers and took a sharp breath, before looking up at him.

"Let's go, shall we?" he asked, softly.

Anna could only nod.


The walk to their bedroom was made in silence, a silence too loud for Anna to understand anything else. They opted for the stairs, so they didn't have to wait for the lift, and before long they entered the bedroom - their safe haven since yesterday, her dream come true. They parted ways the moment they arrived; John sat on the comfortable sofa beside the door. Anna stood by the mirror.

"What did he tell you?" John asked.

Anna ran a hand through her hair. "He said enough. I'm... I'm sorry, John."

He shook his head. "I think we were both pawns in this game, Anna."

She nodded, closing her eyes. She knew what she had to do. "I think I should go."

"Where?" he frowned.

"Back to London," Anna said weakly. "We can't... We shouldn't see each other anymore, John."

Her words stabbed her heart as well as his, she was sure of that. He didn't speak immediately; he just stared. A tear escaped her eye and she wiped it away quickly.

"Have I... Was it something I did?" was his question. She shook her head; she could almost feel her heart breaking. "Was it something I said?"

"No," she said quickly, walking towards him, sitting on the bed across from him. "You were perfect, you are... But I can't see you anymore. I can't go back to London and see you again. I can't make you lose your job because of me."

"I won't lose my job. Richard doesn't have that power over me," John shook her head. "One word to Robert and this is never leaving this place. I won't give in to Richard."

"But then you'll have to tell him the truth," Anna said. "You'll be associated with my kind."

"It is not your kind, Anna," John closed his eyes. "You're not... You're Anna to me. You shouldn't worry about my job."

"But I'm... I'm a whore, John," her voice broke. "I'm a prostitute. I'm worth nothing. You shouldn't risk your whole life because of this."

"Don't talk like that, Anna," he said forcefully. "Don't say that about yourself. Ever again."

Anna nodded. The tears were flowing freely now; she couldn't contain them anymore. "It is the truth. And I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you. Even if you handle this, if we keep seeing each other... Thomas, he'll..."

"Who's Thomas?"

Anna was still shaking her head. "He's said that if we keep seeing each other, he will... I don't know, I can't bear the thought of anything happening-"

"Don't worry about me, Anna, I can manage this."

"But of course I worry!" Anna said, her voice loud and clear. "I can't not worry, this is... I love you, I won't let this business ruin you!"

He didn't reply, and realization dawned her at what she just confessed. She wiped the tears away, unable to face him. This was it - this changed everything. John was still silent. This was a mess, she knew it. It wasn't how she planned this would go at all.

"You were always more than a client to me," the words left her before she could contain them. "Right from the first night. And that's why... That's why I can't see you anymore. I can't do this to you. You deserve... A proper lady. Someone who understands you."

He surprised her by reaching for her hands.

"You are a lady to me. A fine one," John said. He said it with such confidence, such care. "Let me help you. Please. I can help you with this... Thomas. I can pay him for you. You don't have to work for him anymore."

Anna shook her head; that was unacceptable. It was what got her in this mess to begin with. Not that she didn't trust John; she did, with all her life and all her heart. But she wouldn't bring him into this and she needed to fix it on her own. As hard as it was - how long it might take.

"It's not like that. It's my debt," she told him over her tears. "And Thomas, he's not like that. He doesn't let go gently. He would go after me, and he would go after you, and I can't bear to think... I can't let this happen, to either of us."

"I don't care about what he can do."

"He could ruin you. He can ruin both of us," Anna told him - he had to understand. "He has people everywhere, connections. He can ruin your career, he can ruin my life."

"So for that you would let this go?" John asked. Anna stopped breathing. "You would let go of your happiness because of him? I don't care about my job, I... We shouldn't have to let this go because of his threats."

"But if he ruins you-"

"Forget about me, Anna," he shook her hands. "What about you?"

She sobbed - and thought of all the things Thomas could do. All that he could plan, all that he could do against her, her internship and her studies. She shook her head.

"The only ruin that I'd recognise is to be without you," she half-sobbed, with the most honesty she could manage. "But it's not like that. There's so much more to consider..."

"Come with me," he pleaded, "to Ireland. We can leave tomorrow if you want. Straight to Ireland. Live with me."

Anna sniffed, frowning. "What?"

"I love you," John breathed. She couldn't believe her own ears. "I love you. And I don't care that you're in this business, I care that you're with me. I don't want... I don't want to share you anymore, Anna. You shouldn't have to be shared. You should make your own choices, pursue better opportunities. Please, let me help you. Please."

His words struck a chord on her, and she let go of his hands, covering her eyes. She didn't want to be shared - she didn't want anyone else. But it wasn't as simple as he thought, it wasn't as easy as it seemed. But he, John Bates, he... Loved her.

"Anna," she felt his soft hand on her cheek. "I don't want you to do this because of me. I want you to do this because of you. I want you to be happy. No matter what. Even if it's not with me..."

"The only happiness I know is when I'm with you," she confessed. "I love you. I love you so much, and pretending that I don't has been killing me."

"I know," he said, and she knew he understood. "I feel as if I only live when I'm with you."

She let out a shaky breath, holding his hand on her cheek. She kissed his palm. She was still crying, but she wasn't sure why anymore. His face was close - his eyes soft and understanding and now she knew what she had been seeing behind them this whole time.

Love.

Their lips met.

His words were true; she only felt alive when he was with her. Their movements were slow, careful. His hands were soft against her hair, the buttons of his shirt were freed with care and practice. She needed to feel him against her, she needed to feel him close. His hands trembled when he reached for the hem of her dress, and she helped him take it off. They only stopped kissing for breathing, or for muttering simple words, with so much significance.

I love you.

I don't want to be without you.

His arms embraced her and they lay on the bed together, him on top of her. Their breaths mingled. Their kisses became fast and raw. His hands touched her as if she was made of porcelain, but in the best possible way. He took off her heels and kissed her jaw, her collarbone, the valley between her breasts. She unclipped her bra, and he helped her take it off. For the first time, she let him set the pace. He kissed her belly button and his hands pulled at her knickers. She was entirely at his mercy.

He kissed her low, slowly, tentative. She opened her legs wider. She had never experienced this before, with any men. His tongue moved masterfully against her and soon she was undone, grasping at his hair and squirming her hips under him. He held her in place all the while, slowly coming up, kissing her lips. She tasted him and herself in his kiss, and he settled between her legs. She wanted him closer - she needed him closer.

John pulled away to unbuckle his belt and take off his trousers, and when he leaned down she eagerly kissed his lips again and again, rolling her hips against him.

Sweat already formed on his forehead and he kissed the corner of her mouth, supporting himself on his elbow, beside her head. His palm caressed her temple, her cheek and her jaw. Their breathing was hard. She could feel his tip at her entrance and moved again. But John blinked.

"We need protection," he mumbled.

Anna let out a deep breath. "We're safe. I need you."

They became one.

And as they moved, and Anna felt his hot skin against her, she vaguely thought - this wasn't sex. But it was her first time making love.


In the beginning, it was hopeless. Then, it was resolved. Now... It was unpredictable.

They never left for dinner afterwards. They stayed in, talking, discovering, feeling. After some time, their stomachs grumbled and they ordered room service. They made love one more time, shared a shower, and fell asleep together, their bodies pressed close. They didn't make plans. They just lived.

And just then, it was enough. But not now. Not anymore.

Anna watched as John slept. His expression was a peaceful one, and she wondered if he was dreaming. Her fingers traced his skin, from his forehead to his lips. They were sharing the same pillow. She nuzzled her nose against his and he smiled in his sleep. The sun was rising, enveloping the bedroom in a golden light. It felt like a new start, a fresh start. He gave her the chance to dream.

But some things she would have to do alone. She couldn't let him interfere where she should have acted so long ago. She couldn't know how accepting he would be of this decision, but she knew he needed time to think things through, same as she did. But of this she was sure of: she needed to resolve certain things on her own. She needed to at least try.

Then, she would let herself dream.

She slipped off the bed, careful not to wake him. Most of her clothes were packed; she took a few minutes in the bathroom to get ready and dressed herself for the trip back. She decided to leave the dresses he bought her behind, and prepared only her sole suitcase. It was quiet outside. John was lying on his back, the sheets pooled at his waist. Her eyes filled with tears, and she took a paper from the little desk by the fireplace and wrote a note for him. She closed the curtains - she didn't want him to wake up and try to stop her.

She gave him a soft kiss, barely even touching his lips.

"I love you," it was a whisper, but it meant the world.

She left the room.

She still had tears on her eyes when she reached the lobby and asked for a taxi. The receptionist was polite enough to leave her alone. She didn't see any guests while downstairs. Before long, the car arrived. When she got in, never bothering on putting her suitcase in the trunk, the driver asked for her destination.

"The train station, please," was her weak tone.

And just like that, she left Downton Abbey and John Bates behind.


*Shaving scene borrowed from an episode of CSI I watched many years ago... I just couldn't waste the opportunity of having John say he trusts Anna intimately here. ;)

Perhaps, with encouragement, I can update sooner rather than later, and end this little cliffhanger...