Hijikata Toshizou: Red Carnation
Red Carnation: My heart aches for you; admiration
Chapter 2
Her skills with bandaging were average at best, even though she had improved over the course of the war due to bandaging injured soldiers, and because Yamazaki-san had left her with so many tips before his death. Thus, after he collapsed from defeating Kazama-san, she had bandaged Hijikata-san up using the bandages she carried with her; she had a feeling that she might need to perform emergency first aid during the battle, but never thought that Hijikata-san would be the one receiving such an emergency treatment. Although she miraculously succeeded in stopping most of the bleeding, he had already lost so much blood from his wounds that she feared it might be too late.
In the distance, the sound of gunfire had stopped. Later, she found out that sometime after Hijikata-san was shot down from his horse, the Imperial army had won; what was left of the Shinsengumi had surrendered along with the rest of the old Shogunate army at Otori's urging.
Summoning all her strength – perhaps tapping into her dormant demon blood – she somehow managed to transport a barely conscious Hijikata-san to an abandoned shack located in a mostly abandoned village; most of its villagers had evacuated to somewhere further from the fighting just before the snow melted… It suited her just fine, as she was determined to keep the fact that Hijikata-san was alive a secret; not only did many of the soldiers see him receive a fatal gunshot wound and would be suspicious if he turned up alive and well, but if the Imperial army ever found out that he was alive, they would surely come for him, given their hatred for the Shinsengumi.
Over the next few days, his breathing often became so weak that it looked like he might have stopped altogether. As she cleaned the house to make it more comfortable for him to recover in, she would periodically stop to stare at his chest, just to make sure that it was rising and falling. Whenever he groaned in pain in his sleep, she would hold his hand tightly to comfort and reassure him, to convey to him that he was not alone in his battle. Often, she would fall asleep kneeling by his side, her hands holding onto his.
It pained her heart to see him suffering, so much so that she could physically feel the ache in her chest.
Finally, four days after he went unconscious, she woke up to someone gently stroking her hair one morning. Startled, she had quickly sat up and rubbed the sand from her eyes.
"It's been hard on you, Chizuru."
His voice was husky from drinking very little and from lack of use, but there was no mistaking it who it belonged to.
"H-Hijikata-san!"
She didn't cry when he defeated Kazama-san and collapsed on her lap after. She didn't cry when he remained unresponsive to her calling his name. She didn't cry when she removed his top in order to bandage him and saw the multiple ugly wounds he had on his body. She didn't cry when she moved his body to a safer location, fearing that he might turn into ash or stop breathing with every step she took. She didn't cry, not even once, during the four days he was unconscious for.
She didn't cry because she knew that there was no time for her to do so, and that she had to focus if she wanted to keep him alive.
Now, at hearing his voice again, she finally allowed herself to cry, her shoulders going limp. She cried until she had no more tears left in her, and even then, she continued to cry, hands over her face as she turned her body away from Hijikata-san. She didn't want him to see her like this, and offered him her back instead.
"I'm glad," Her voice was muffled as she spoke, her hands still covering her face, "I'm… I'm so glad…"
"Stupid girl," His voice was gentle, and she thought it sounded like he might cry too. A second later, she felt strong arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her backwards. By the time she recovered from the surprise, she found herself laying on the futon Hijikata-san was resting on, his arms holding her in place; his hold was firm, almost like he was afraid to let go. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her back.
"I love you, Chizuru," He muttered, planting a kiss against the crook of her neck.
"I love you too, Hijikata-san," She wanted to cry all over again as she wiggled in his grip, and turned around so that they were now face to face. They stayed that way for a minute before he leaned in to kiss her on her nose, and then once on her lips. It was a brief kiss that left her wanting more, but there was something bothering her.
"You should drink some water," She frowned, noticing for the first time how dry his lips were; she had kept his lips moist while he was unconscious, but he hadn't been taking in any liquids, "And Hijikata-san, um…"
He simply stared at her, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he glowered, "What is it?"
"Well, it's just that um…" She averted her eyes, and tapped him on his arm to get him to let go. She wanted to put some distance between them before she said what's coming. Reluctantly, he gave in and loosened his grip enough for her to get up on her feet. He then rolled back on his back with a soft moan; it was evident that his wounds still hurt him.
"Um, Hijikata-san… It's just that your breath… I-It s-smells a bit u-unpleasant!" She basically exclaimed the last part before dashing out the door to fetch some water from the nearby well, her face red with embarrassment. Not drinking any water for the past four days had affected more than just his voice, even if he might not feel it.
Behind her, she heard him groan loudly, as if wanting her to hear what he had to say next.
"Edo women really are frightful!"
They had moved out of the house shortly after Hijikata-san recovered enough to move about, not wanting to be around when its previous occupants move back in. On official records, Hijikata-san had died after he was shot on horseback, even though mysteriously, his body was never found. Since most people outside of the old Shogunate army did not know how he looked like, they faced very little trouble moving around Ezo in search of a place to start anew in.
Eventually, their travels brought them to a quiet village, tucked away from many of the more populated areas. After getting permission from the village head to move in, Hijikata-san, along with some men from the village, started building a house at the edge of the village. The construction took well over a week, and during that time, they stayed with the kindly village head and his family.
She felt bad that she couldn't help with the construction, and did various chores around the house. During meal times, she would bring the men who were working on the house their meals; it also gave her a chance to see Hijikata-san. He looked just as serious carrying planks of wood and hammering them in place as when he was vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, working on paperwork late into the night.
Indeed, he looked the best when he was hard at work, despite his tendency to overwork. She wondered if maybe her admiration for his determination and steadfastness as vice-commander of the Shinsengumi was what eventually blossomed into something more.
He was working on the roof when he spotted her out of the corner of his eye. Immediately, he flashed a questioning look in her direction.
"Time for lunch, Hijikata-san!" She replied with a wave, raising her voice so that he would be able to hear her, "The other men are already eating!"
"I'll be right there!" He nodded, and got back to what he was doing.
She stood there and waited with a half-smile, because if she didn't, he might just forget and carry on working until dusk.
When the construction on the house was finally completed, some of the men who had helped with it had helped them move in. Once they had moved their belongings into the house, the men sat by the fire, drink sake and talking among themselves. Although Hijikata-san did not drink any sake, he played the part of a good host by entertaining his guests; she figured that it was also his way of thanking them for all the help they had given to them.
Quietly, she slipped out the door. Once outside, she stared at the house, a smile playing on her lips; the house was small but cozy, and because it was located at the edge of the village, it was also quiet. She enjoyed how peaceful and tranquil it was, but what she liked most about the house was the fact that it was their shared house. When she became a "guest" of the Shinsengumi, she never imagined that, years later, it would end up like this.
"Congratulations on your house, Hijikata-san!"
She heard a woman's voice from behind her, and quickly turned around to face the newly arrived guest. She must had looked incredibly surprised or confused, or a mixture of both, because the woman immediately looked worried.
"My husband, Tanaka-san, said that he would be here, and that your husband's name is Hijikata," The woman explained, "I'm deeply sorry, did I get it wrong?"
Immediately, Chizuru shook her head, a blush creeping up her cheeks; it wasn't that she had gotten it wrong, but… Husband? So when the woman called for 'Hijikata-san' just now, could she have been referring to her?
She wasn't sure how to explain that they weren't married but still living under the same roof without making it sound like they were being indecent, but she didn't want to lie either; denying that they were married would probably cause horrible rumours, but it didn't feel right to acknowledge it either. So, she decided to change the subject.
"Ah, no. There is no need to apologize! Hijikata is right," She forced a cheerful smile, and hoped that the other woman would not see how nervous she was, "Would you like me to go get your husband?"
She did not notice that Hijikata-san was standing behind the open door, and had heard the entire conversation.
She did not notice that when he left to rejoin the group of laughing men gathered near the table, he was wearing a frown.
"I've not done this in a while," He frowned, clearly worried as he hovered by the door after putting on his slippers.
"I'm sure you'll do well, Hijikata-san," She replied, stepping forward to plant a kiss on his cheek before stepping back, "I believe in you!"
"Alright… Here goes…" He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes to help him concentrate. When he opened his eyes again, they were confident and focused. He raised one arm up above his head, a small paper packet in his hand, "BEHOLD! Ishida Powdered Medicine! Take it with warm sake! It can cure anything from bruises, cuts, abdominal pain, and back pain! It's even good for longevity and rejuvenating!"
"Say, say! Is it really that effective?" She asked, pretending to be a potential customer.
"Oh, of course!" He replied, sounding almost cocky as he grinned, "It's been passed down from generation to generation in my family!"
"I'll take ten packets, mister!" She managed to reply before bursting into laughter, unable to control herself; she was so used to Hijikata-san the demon vice-commander that the sight of Hijikata-san the medicine peddler was enough to send her into giggling fits.
She saw the corners of his lips drop into a frown before he sighed in resignation, taking a step towards her to embrace her.
"Ten packets? I'll give you as many as you want, until I can't do it anymore," His voice was soft, and his action managed to surprise her enough to stop her laughter and cause her cheeks to go pink.
"Hijikata-san…"
"And isn't it about time you change that?"
"Huh…?"
"Hijikata-san, Hijikata-san… When we get married, you'll be Hijikata-san too, you know," He released her from the hug and placed his hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her back so that she was now an arm's length from him and looking straight into his eyes, "So don't you think it might be time to change the way you address me?"
"Hijikata-san…" Her eyes had widened, and her cheeks were flushed pink.
"Eh, what's that?"
"To-Toshizou-san," She muttered, her heart fluttering when she saw him smile.
"I suppose that'll do for now," He answered, a hand resting on her cheek, "Wait for me, Chizuru. Once I save up enough, we'll get married."
She simply nodded, too happy to put her thoughts into words; they might as well be married already, living together like this, but he wanted to marry her officially and give her a wedding… She was contented with what they already have, but the idea of having a little more did not seem that bad at all.
"I'm going out, Chizuru."
"Have a safe trip… Toshizou-san."
He gave her one last smile before stepping outside into the sun. It still made him a little sleepy, but he fought that urge, and headed straight for the village; she was strong for him, and he would be strong for her.
"WHAT? You did not marry her?!"
The village head yelled at Toshizou-san, who winced in response. She couldn't help but wince along at the elder's reaction; she supposed that the whole village had assumed that they were married, as it would be scandalous for a single man and a single woman to be living under the same roof, much more for over a year.
"Oh, you poor dear!" The village head's wife took her hand, and Chizuru could only smile sheepishly at her; she never saw herself as unfortunate despite her circumstances. She had naturally always considered and treated Toshizou-san as her husband, regardless of how they had never actually gone through the rites; she was sure that he thought the same. Besides, he never did anything that was… Unbecoming of an unmarried man, to an unmarried woman.
"I know, I know, Yamada-san," He sounded frustrated as he first looked at the old lady holding my hand before looking at the village head again, "That's why I want to make it up to her now, right?"
The village head's lips were pressed together as he tapped a finger against his knee. A minute later, he sighed loudly.
"The two of you will be wed three days later," He decided, still looking unhappy but at least no longer angry, "But until then, Yukimura-san will be staying here, in my house. My wife will help prepare her for the wedding."
She knew that he also probably wanted to keep them apart until they were officially wed. She looked at Toshizou-san, and smiled when he gave her a knowing nod.
"Thank you, Yamada-san," He dipped his head, "You and your family."
The old man just waved him off with a hand, looking both disgruntled and pleased at the same time.
It was getting a little awkward.
They had lived under the same roof and slept on the same futon for over a year now, so why was it suddenly so difficult for her to look at him? She sneaked a look at him out of the corner of her eyes, and wondered if he was as nervous as she was.
He seemed to have noticed her glance, however, and turned his head to look at her. She gasped, quickly looking away, her heart suddenly beating faster; she was suddenly glad for the darkness of night and the absence of a light source in the room, because she was sure that the current colour of her face probably resembled a beet root. She barely heard the rustle of fabric before a pair of strong arms enveloped her from behind. She tensed, and then relaxed, closing her eyes.
"Hijikata Chizuru."
That name sounded so odd, especially coming from him, but at the same time, filled her with a sort of warmth she had never experienced before.
"… Toshizou-san, can you say that again?"
He laughed after kissing her hair, and she was sure that her blush had deepened.
"Hijikata Chizuru," He repeated, and moved himself so that he was now in front of her, "I'll say it as many times as you want me to."
He kissed her again, on the lips this time; it was a slow, long kiss, unlike any of the kisses they had shared before. She could feel herself slowly being pushed down, towards the futon, and she didn't resist. When she was finally lying on her back, staring into the eyes of the man she had grown to love so deeply, she thought that she might be dreaming.
Another kiss from him proved that this was indeed reality.
"I dreamt of you again last night, Toshizou-san," She said quietly as she placed a cup of steaming hot tea in front of the grave; as cheesy as it was, she buried him under a cherry blossom - the tree that reminded her so much of him, especially in full bloom.
It had been over a decade since her husband passed away after succumbing to the Water of Life. On the day of his passing, he acted a little odd the whole day; he was exceptionally cheerful, exceptionally helpful, and exceptionally intimate. She should have known that something was wrong then, but maybe she just didn't want to face the truth; maybe she thought that if she kept it out of her mind, it would really go away.
Then, when they were having dinner in the evening, he had collapsed; his face was pale and his hair was white, a sight she had seen many times after he first drank the Water of Life. She thought that he might need blood again, that the bloodlust had somehow returned after being absent for so long, but he just got her to hold his hand; that was when she figured out that his time was already up. That was when she had no choice but to face the music, and confront her fears.
Having used his Fury powers so much during the war, it was a miracle he managed to hang on for so long.
"Twenty six years," He grinned despite the obvious pain he was in, "Married… Twenty six years…"
"Twenty seven," She had corrected him, tears threatening to fall, "I considered you my husband even before we got married."
His grin had widened a little then, even though his breathing was getting shallower, "Sorry, but… It seems that you'll… Have to run the business by yourself…"
"I'll do a good job," She forced a smile, "You'll be proud of me when we meet again."
"I've always… Been proud of you. Always been proud… To have you as… My wife."
He had turned into ashes then, and all the tears that she had been holding back came flowing. She was glad that their house was located away from most of the other houses, because she was sure that someone would have checked up on her due to all her wailing otherwise. The next morning, she gathered his ashes and buried them before telling anyone of his demise, not wanting to have to explain why there wasn't a body.
"We were watching the cherry blossoms together, just like we did every year," Her smile turned sad for a second as she looked down, but when she looked up again, she was back to normal, "We'll see each other again one day, when I'm done with my work here."
It was a promise.
Author's notes:
And that's the end of Hijikata's chapters! I did a couple of "time skips"; hopefully that did not disrupt the flow.
I like Hijikata even though I thought his story (in the game) was the most plain romance-wise. I liked his story though, and decided that maybe the reason why his romance didn't really come up till later chapter was because he was always holding it in.
I've started to become busy again, but I'll try my best to write and update where possible!
