Author's Note: I am EXCEEDINGLY sorry for the massive delay in Chapter 7's submission. I had to work out some things in my head that took longer than anticipated for the direction of the story. Please enjoy and as always R&R. :)
Setting the alarm for city hall and locking her office door, Regina breathed a sigh of relief. Finally the day was over and she could get out of here. Spending the day at the office balancing the books and trying to find money to renovate old streets was monotonous and exceedingly tiring. And a completely thankless job. Why she'd ever wanted to be the mayor…
The way she felt now, Regina would gladly relinquish the position. Her back ached from being hunched over her desk, her neck strained from one position most of the day, and there was a pounding, throbbing, relentless headache that had taken up residence in her temple and was currently conducting a march in her head.
All of that faded within minutes of leaving the office building and heading toward her car. It was finally night. She'd spent all day cooped up in her office to avoid going outside and possibly running into him again and she was ready. Her body buzzed with the idea that her goal was so near. All she had to do was find those two missing ingredients in the forest and then she'd be able to mix her potion and blessedly forget.
Everything.
Regina peeled out of the parking lot and headed straight toward the south side of town, away from Robin and his 'merry' men, to find the ingredients. It took her only about ten minutes to get to where she wanted to be, as the area she was going to search was very conveniently located near her office. Grabbing a flashlight as it was dusk and would soon be completely dark, Regina headed into the forest, pushing at branches and preventing them from smacking her in the forehead. How anyone could consider the forest their home was beyond her, she thought sourly. How he'd raised his son there was incomprehensible. It was dark and damp, full of mosquitoes—she thought she could feel about to latch on as she swatted at one on her neck—and things that made noises, weird noises, and possibly bears…
"…And lions and tigers, oh my," Regina muttered sarcastically. She'd had enough of Oz for a lifetime. Yet a pang of regret still managed to surprise her at the death of her 'big sister.' She knew what Zelena had gone through. It had been like looking in a mirror. To quote an often-used phrase, she'd "been there, done that." A part of her felt exceedingly sad and ached at the thought she'd never be able to help Zelena get through that period of hate and self-destructive behavior. They'd never be a family. It would have been nice to have family in town. Henry…she loved that boy like he was her blood, but he wasn't. There was no one in town that was kin to her in that way. And there now never would be.
Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted as she listed slightly when she lost her balance tripping over a root and Regina smothered an expletive. She fucking hated the forest. (Never mind she'd loved it just a short week earlier.) After about another 25 minutes of walking through the brush and between massive trees that looked like they'd been planted or seeded hundreds of years ago, Regina reached the area she thought she'd last seen the two plants.
Her gaze drifted and landed on a fallen tree about fifty feet away. The tree. Where a thief had pilfered a letter written not about her. For a moment, she could almost see them, sitting side by side, her staring off in the distance, thinking of a letter that had always brought her comfort and solace and completely oblivious to the soul-deep look he'd been giving her.
Stunning in every way.
Regina laughed self-deprecatingly. What would he say now that his wife is back? She was probably nothing but a memory to him. A part of her vehemently protested that thought, but she shoved it down. Hope had no place here. The back of Regina's neck began to itch slightly, and she whirled around, fireball in hand, eyes narrowed and searching the ever-darkening forest floor and foliage for an intruder. Her instincts were never wrong, and they told her something was out there.
Watching.
Waiting.
A rustle in the brush produced a deer grazing on some leaves that she almost barbequed on the spot. A bit of relief relaxed her position and she drew her arm back, extinguishing the flame. She sighed in annoyance and turned around, continuing her search for the two missing ingredients. Why did she have to run out of those two? Spying a familiar leaf, Regina brushed aside the undergrowth to reveal one of the two ingredients she was looking for: falce root. Ripping out a chunk, she pocketed the rest and continued her search. Another ten minutes and she found the sleay leaves. These had to be picked cautiously, otherwise the thorns associated with the leaves would scratch and scar, never mind the fact the thorns were poisonous.
It was dark by the time she got back to her car and drove back home. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Mary Margaret's car in the driveway and she could see the shadow of the young woman in the driver's seat. Exiting her own car and walking over, she stopped at the door and waited impatiently, one eyebrow raised.
Mary Margaret rolled down her window, a guilty look on her face. "I thought you'd be home ages ago."
"I went for a walk," Regina said dryly, narrowing her eyes. "What is it that you want? I am not in the mood for a heart to heart."
"I've only come to check on you," Mary Margaret said and hurriedly rolled the window back up and exited the car, following the quick footsteps of the queen to the front door and into her house. "I was…worried," she added, pushing through tentatively.
Regina turned around. "Now you're worried about me. Where was your concern a few days ago when your daughter brought back the dead?" she sniped.
Mary Margaret's breath caught in her throat, her mouth opened on a word, but then she closed it. She was right. Mary Margaret hadn't chased after Regina. No one had. Most of them had been rooted to their seats in stunned disbelief; those that were closest to the conversation and overheard what had occurred…some of them had wanted to see how she was, but were afraid. Others…and yet there were others, spiteful and still bitter, that reveled in Regina's misery. Mary Margaret had seen it in some of their faces and it had prompted her to give them piercingly dirty looks.
"Regina, Emma was…she didn't mean for that to happen. Can't you see that it wouldn't have been right to just leave her there?" Mary Margaret was conflicted. Emma shouldn't have changed the past, but on the other hand, she couldn't have just let someone die.
"That's exactly what she should have done!" Regina hissed. "Regardless of who killed Marian, me or the Goddamned Tooth Fairy for all we know, that woman was going to die if it was fated. By my hand or someone else's. You don't fuck with Fate, Snow, and yet your daughter did. And there will be consequences. I just hope she is the one to deal with them instead of someone else, as is usually the case. Your daughter has a knack for not taking responsibility for her actions. Nothing is ever Emma's fault."
Angrily, Regina moved into her kitchen and dumped her bag on the counter, its contents spilling out over the granite. Opening a cabinet, she gathered the remainder of the ingredients and pulled out a mortar and pestle, angrily beginning to mix her potion.
"Regina…I'm sorry for what Emma did. Bringing back Marian complicated things with Robin," she apologized. Mary Margaret's voice trailed off, watching her mixing and grinding something into the mortar. "What are you doing? Isn't it a little late for mixing herbs?"
Regina laughed shortly. "These aren't herbs, or at least, none that you eat in a meal. Just leave, Snow, none of this is your business."
A bad feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. "Regina, what are you doing? Is that a potion of some kind? You don't need to do this, whatever it is you're doing."
She looked up sharply. "And just what do you think it is I'm doing?"
"Something for Marian? Or Robin Hood? It's not their fault that things happened the way they did. Neither of them deserve it," she said passionately, throwing out ideas based on events from the past.
Regina laughed and it wasn't a pretty sound. "After all this time, these last two years, and you're still quick to think the worst of me? Well, nice to know things haven't changed all that much," she gritted, and the words were like glass, cutting and deep.
Mary Margaret took a bracing breath, let it out in relief. "So it's not for them…" If not for them, then for who? And the lightbulb went off. "Regina, whatever it is you're going to do to yourself, you can't."
"It's none of your concern," she bit out. "None. It won't affect anyone but me."
"What are you going to do?" Mary Margaret began to ruminate out loud. "They're in town, you'll have to see them eventually, Regina. I mean it's not like you can avoid them, pretend they don't exist." Avoidance. Pretend. Memory spells. "You're making yourself a memory spell!"
Reaching over, she grabbed Regina's hands, clutching them desperately. "Regina, that is not the way to get through this. And what's more, you can't do that. Your relationship with him isn't over."
"With his wife back from the dead, I'd say it is," Regina retorted angrily, another lance of pain shooting to the empty place where her heart should be. "Now get your hands off me before you lose them." Rage was bubbling up and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to contain it for much longer. All the hurt and anger and pain of the last few days was starting to get to her and escape the carefully constructed box she'd placed all of it into.
"This isn't the end for the two of you, Regina. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but Robin does love you. Deeply. I saw how the two of you were together. He cares about you. I think he just needs to sort things out with Marian and he will come back to you. I feel it in my bones. Regina, when I look at you two, I see myself and Charming. You're the one who taught me that true love is the greatest magic of all. Believe that he will come back to you. Trust in him. Trust in the two of you," Mary Margaret pled passionately.
Regina shook her head, not wanting to believe, not wanting to hope again and then have that hope shattered and two tears escaped from her closed eyes. She felt the soft brush of Mary Margaret's hand against her cheek and it reminded her of the times when they were young that she'd brushed the tears off Snow's cheek.
"Don't let this week's pain push you into something you'll regret, Regina. Trust in him. Trust in yourself. Things will work out the way they're meant to be. I believe that," she said softly and Mary Margaret entreated Regina with her eyes, wishing her to believe in herself. She deserved happiness, so much happiness. She'd grown so much in the last two years, emotionally and mentally, and deserved her happily ever after.
Regina took a deep breath and released it, and along with it all of her negative emotions. All that was left was a bone deep weariness. "I'm tired, Snow, I'm tired of fighting for something that I never seem to be able to hold on to. I'm tired, period."
"Then let me do the fighting for you," she said simply and watched as her former step-mother's expression turned quizzical.
"Why? After everything that I've done to you, why?"
"Because I still remember the young woman who saved my life that day in the meadow. Because I remember the love in her eyes and the carefree expression on her face and I wish that for you again. Your heart will find its way to happiness, Regina. I believe it, even if you don't. Let me fight for you. Don't take the easy way out and take that potion. It won't solve anything. Believe me, I know. I took it once to forget Charming and it darkened my heart. Yours has started to heal. Don't let it become black again."
Regina took a deep breath and let it out, the ache in her chest still there, but slightly dulled. Hope was rising and she tried to squash it, but it was stubborn. And she really did want happiness. She'd had a taste of it with Robin, a brief note of love and joy in her life and she'd felt her heart lighten, its burden removed slightly. She wanted that back, more than anything. "It's not the answer," she said wearily and watched as a bright smile lit up Mary Margaret's face before she embraced Regina. It was still a shock to her system, this woman who should hate her but didn't, actually caring about her.
Mary Margaret helped Regina clean up, placing the mortar in the sink, wiping down the countertops, and then left with another hug, another surprising embrace that Regina had to force herself from pulling back. It was natural for someone to hug you to say goodbye, she reminded herself. She watched her leave and was about to close the door again when she saw a shadow by the tree in the front yard. It moved and came closer and Regina readied herself, preparing to draw a fireball if needed.
But the shadow seemed familiar…
And as the light from the moon illuminated her visitor as he came cautiously closer, Regina's breath caught at the blue eyes staring back at her.
