I wrote this pretty quickly, so I hope it is good. It has been eating at me for a while now, so here it goes. I thought of the idea during chapter 11 of About a Boy, where Marcus reads Fiona's suicide note. It was a great book and I highly recommend it. I am watching the movie tonight for film class. It features Hugh Grant and a young Natalia Tena. I hope it is as good as the book, but I heard that a lot was changed.
I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would be watching films for fun in my home theater, not for the aforementioned film class in my friend's dorm.
August 3
Dear Baby,
A letter came for you today, from your father. I got one as well, assuring me he was safe and looking for Harry. He also apologized for making contact with me, told me he loved you and me very much, and once again wished us the best. I could read between the lines. What he meant was, Don't do anything stupid that will get both you killed, Dora. He told me he wanted me to be happy, whatever that took, even if it meant marrying again. He told me a divorce wasn't necessary; the Ministry had already decreed our marriage invalid. I wanted to scream. Am I the only one that our marriage meant anything at all to? I know one thing. I will never remarry. I promise I will do my very best to raise you alone. I may not be cheerful for a while, but I am sure that will come back in time. I look more fit to be a mother with brown hair than pink anyway. Then he signed the letter, Love, Your Remus. My heart melted a bit, because that told me that there would never be anyone else for him either.
I don't know if reading his letter to you works in utero, so I am including both yours and mine in here, like it is part of our conversations. Besides, keeping it here means I won't lose them or him in a way. I am sure you will be glad to have them one day. I won't make any comments on it; just let you draw your own conclusions and make your own opinions. I will say it made me cry a bit, but I believe every word he said.
Love,
Mum
August 2
Dear Baby,
I know you probably hate me, and nothing I can write here will change that. Maybe one day when you are older you will understand what I did and why I did it. Hopefully, you never will never fully understand, because that would mean that you inherited my disease. Truthfully, I am more scared of that than anything. I am scared of you inheriting it and your mother having to take care of two of us. If she has to take care of one of us, I would much rather it be you. I am scared of infecting you after you are born during a full moon. I am scared that being my son will make your life harder.
Even if I had stayed, you would have hated me. I would have doomed you to a life of poverty and ridicule. Trust me, you are much better off with me gone. Maybe I will die in some heroic way and you can be proud of that. I don't know what your mother will tell you about me, but whatever she says I am sure she will make much more of me that I was. Even if she says bad things, I am sure I deserve them. I see now exactly how great I have harmed your mother by marrying her. She is so young, vibrant, and talented. I am old, decrepit, monstrous, and poor. I was a burden to her at best.
I want you to know that I love you and your mother very much. I did not leave because I didn't want you; I left because I could never deserve either of you. I love you enough that I can stay away to keep you both safe from harm, even if the danger is me.
I feel like there is so much to say, and I can't even begin to say it. I'm not sure it is even my place to say some of the things I want to. Please forgive me, Baby. I hope you live a safe and happy life, in a much better world than I ever knew. Above all, know that I love you, and will continue to love you with my dying breath.
Goodbye, Love always,
Your Dad
Review please? Happy Late Mardi Gras and Pancake Day! Happy Ash Wednesday, if that is the right sentiment. Please don't give up reviewing for Lent!
