Chapter Warning: This chapter is pretty heavy and features very invasive thoughts. There are also suicidal thoughts in this chapter. If any of that would cause you trouble, then please skip this chapter.


Marinette yawned. She was exhausted, and she'd only been working for half an hour. It's not that she hadn't gotten enough sleep; she'd gotten plenty of sleep. Too much sleep. She frowned and counted on her fingers, realizing that she'd gotten ten hours, though it was broken up. There was no reason she should be tired, though she supposed that maybe it was because it was interrupted.

She sighed and stared at the design she was working on, unsatisfied with how it was turning out. She glanced around at the other interns and got up, mumbling an excuse about going to the bathroom.

Marinette didn't go to the bathroom. She went to the fabric room; she found it relaxing to touch all the soft fabrics, so she wandered around for a few minutes, running her fingers along as many as she could.

She stopped at a particularly soft one, the desire to keep walking suddenly drained.

She sat on the floor and stroked the fabric where it hung by her face.

She lost interest in that and laid down.

She stared at the ceiling, letting her thoughts wash over her.

You stupid moron. First, you lied to everybody, and now you're literally lying down on the job. Gabriel was nice enough to help you get that internship, and this is how you repay him? You're utterly worthless, Marinette. You can't even motivate yourself to pull your stupid ass off the floor and go back to the thing you're getting paid to do. You never even deserved this internship in the first place; you just got it in some weird scheme full of nepotism and deceit. A better place to lay yourself down would be in the street. Sure, some people would stop, but somebody would have the decency to run you over instead of letting you continue to live this miserable life you've created for yourself. You don't deserve powers of creation, either. Master Fu and Tikki should've known better. Alya would've been a better fit for the job. Then all of Paris wouldn't have to mourn the loss of someone they never really knew anyway. Is it even worth it? All I get is a statue and a blog dedicated to me written by my best friend who still doesn't know my secret. I wonder if Adrien will tell her and Nino and my parents when I'm gone. My headstone will read, 'Here lies Marinette Dupain-Cheng: She saved Paris, but she couldn't save herself.' Adrien will be so disappointed in me. He's gonna wish he had someone else for a partner. No, he's probably already wished for someone else. Nothing to be done about it now, though.

The door opened, startling her.

"Hello?"

Marinette scrambled up. "Freddie! Sorry, I was just, uh, getting inspiration from the fabric! Having a bit of a block this morning!"

He shrugged. "Doesn't bother me. Just show up at your desk eventually."

"Um, I'm gonna go ahead and go right now." She stood there for a moment longer, vacating the area when she had enough energy.

When Marinette got back to her desk, she doodled aimlessly until lunch.

"Hey, Mari, wanna come get sandwiches with us?" Ann gave her a sweet smile.

Marinette blinked. "Oh, uh, I'm good, but thanks. Maybe another time?"

"Okay! We'd love to have you along whenever." Ann gestured to the rest of the group that was waiting. "We'll see you in an hour!" She waved and joined the others.

Marinette waved, laying her head on her desk when they were out of sight.

She's lying. They don't really want you around. They're just saying that because they feel sorry for your sad self. You should walk out in front of a bus later.

She sighed. She didn't feel like eating or working. Or existing, for that matter. Marinette closed her eyes and fell asleep.

"Marinette? Hey, Marinette?"

She blinked her eyes open and yawned. "Yeah?"

"Hey, lunch is over. We thought we should wake you up. Are you feeling okay?" Freddie laid his hand on the back of her chair.

Marinette nodded, yawning again. "Yeah, yeah. Just kinda tired. Thanks for waking me up."

He frowned. "You know what? It's Friday. You're clearly not feeling well. Just go home. I'll cover for you, okay?"

She hesitated, unwilling to accept. "I'll be fine."

"No, Marinette. You've worked hard all this week, and I'm saying that you need a break. Go home, spend some time with your friends, and I'll see you on Monday."

She hesitated, fighting the urge to protest again. "Okay. I'll see you."

Freddie waved as he walked off, oblivious to Marinette's mental turmoil as she packed up her things.

He's saying that because he doesn't want you here, Marinette. He's making excuses so he doesn't have to deal with you for the rest of the weekend. I can't even blame him. I don't want to deal with me for the rest of the weekend, either. He wouldn't mind having you here if you got off your lazy ass and did things for once.

She waved to everybody, covering another yawn as she left.

The barrage of insults continued as she went home.

You know, you could've just avoided this whole thing. You'll never be worth anything, so what's the point in trying? You could just give up now, take over the bakery, and fade into non-existence. That would really suit you well, you know.

She waved briefly to her parents as she walked in. "I'm not feeling too well. I'm gonna go to bed."

They sent their wishes for her to feel better, but they went unnoticed.

Marinette dropped her stuff next to her trapdoor, kicked her shoes off, and curled up on top of her covers.

Tikki flew out of her purse. "Marinette?"

"Hey, Tikki."

"What's wrong?"

Marinette shook her head. "I'll never be worth anything, Tikki. There's no point in doing any of this anymore."

"That's not true, Marinette. There are plenty of people who think you're worth something, and they're right. Where would we be without you?"

"Probably closer to finding Hawkmoth. Probably wouldn't have to wait this long to beat him. They'd be better off if I weren't around." Marinette stared at the ceiling. "But I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it."

"That's not even close to being true. You're doing your best, and everybody's proud of you for that. And living even when you don't want to makes you brave, not a coward."

Marinette shrugged a shoulder. "I'm not so sure. I'm gonna go to sleep now." She rolled over, facing away from Tikki.

Tikki looked at where Marinette's phone was forgotten on the floor and flew over to it, typing a quick message to Adrien and whispering to herself, "I hope he sees that soon."


A/N: Hello, lovelies.

I was supposed to publish another chapter of Off the Hook today, but I've been having a rough time lately. I don't know that I've written much in the last month, honestly, but I had this written, so I thought I'd publish it so I was at least publishing something.

Please let me know what you thought down below; I always appreciate feedback.

xoxo -wwot