Hi...

Okay this chapter was really hard for me to write... Not an author blockade... Just something felt wrong, like there was a lack somewhere, or an error... I don't know. But I guess it more or less ended up how I wanted it to... Sort of...

Enjoy!


There was strange warmth surrounding me. It was something odd, unknown and spicy. I've never felt like that before; such an unusual feeling, an alien impression, I wasn't used to it. I've never been used to it, yet I was sure once anyone would have known that sensation for the very first time they would never be able to go back to real life anymore. Was I dead? Let me see… One, two, three, four, five… no, I still could feel my fingers – flesh ones and mechanical ones – twitch and some kind of red and hot light behind my closed eyelids. Guess that was sunlight. Was it morning? I thought… Damnit. I didn't want to wake up. I was too comfortably cocooned in warm and soft sheets. The feeling was exactly like in summertime holiday. You know, it wasn't like those shitty family holiday at the sea, mommy, daddy hanging with you everywhere you go and humiliating you in public, bros and sis kicking your ass down of the bed because they isn't enough room so everyone has to sleep together, nor taking hundred of photos with granny and her fucking pet all over the place then forgetting you didn't save any of them, so back to the start again.

Not like I had those kinds of memories.

Nah. It was much more like this: soft breeze on your skin, sun's welcoming calore on your neck and a soothing scent of sea, trees and a remaining of rain engulfing into your nostrils. You wake up in the morning with the same sensation as before, your whole body is relaxed, your mind in peace. A mug of coffee (cappuccino with no sugar, your favorite) is fuming on your nightstand, seagulls are singing outside. You look on your left and what you see is crushing you: it's the sky's infinity, intensity, its unfathomable depth, its eternal perpetuity. Your eyes are scotched to that scene. Hell yeah it has been a while since you've meet something that much attractive and irresistible; so you continue staring, you stare until your eyes get burnt by that force.

It's dazzling.

It really looks like a landscape behind a photoframe, always there when I turn back even if the colors are fading…

…Ah?

Wait! What the fuck am I talking about? That's nonsense! And just where the fuck was I?

I opened widely my eyes and glared at the first thing I saw in front of me, which was the almost peaceful face of a sleeping Xanxus, black bangs hiding partially his closed eyes, trembling quietly as an inaudible breathe was softly inhaled and exhaled all along with the motion of his broad shoulders.

We were both naked and it seemed like I had been resting my head for the last hours on his folded arm... That was the first time I saw Xanxus' bare tanned skin. His whole body was streaked with countless scars, all, as on his face, a bit darker than the skin they were marking. 'They look like scalds. A car explosion, chissà. By the way is that saliva trail on the bastard's arm mine? How can I be so childish …' so I was pondering until…

'The fuck?' I bewildered inside. 'The fuck? The fuck? The fuck? That kind of situation, doesn't it seem like…'

I rose from my nest and looked down on the sleeping raven.

'Anyway what the hell is that fucktwit doing in my… in my… Voooi!' I finally screamed.

I wasn't in my room, nor in any of Bartali's mansion's. It was a very wide one, with a laid floor covered by huge carpets and walls by wallpapers, the whole lot in a tendency of red and golden. The letto a baldacchino was the same: large dark red curtains were hanging from the ceiling, but that morning they were drawn so I could contemplate the entire bedroom in one gawk. It was already noon. I didn't have to watch at the clock to guess that: a gigantic glass door was opening to the outside and was giving a sight – from at least the first floor – to what looked like a private beach, a fancy, deserted and limitless sandbank, just like on those shitty postcards, the type you'll never get there unless being some kind of VIP son of a bitch, thus forget about bringing mommy, daddy, sis, bros and granny. The sound of waves flapping against boulders, the seagull's cries were coming from outside.

'Stop being so noisy this early, trash…' Xanxus grunted, still half-sleeping.

I nearly slapped that fucktard up.

'Vooi, you fucking asshole, wake your shitty ass up! It ain't morning anymore, and since long ago.' The bastard's disdain for other people's troubles really made me out of myself. Watching him sleep so quietly was the last straw. I glared. 'Where the fuck did you bring me to? And just how have you done it without me knowing it? That place… Don't tell me… Don't tell me… Vooooi! Wake up! How did yesterday's party end like… this…? I mean, I don't clearly remember what happened back then… That was… Yes, I can recall it! I drank a bit too much so I went out to take some air… So I was outside and… and I think I fell asleep…Wake up I said! I fell asleep and… Shit I don't remember well. But hell would I do… would I do… would I have… with you… Holy fuck! I swear dear God if you've done anything to me when I was unconscious, I'll rip the hell out of you! ... Vooi, Xanxus! ...'

'Piece of trash, I said you were fucking noisy…' Xanxus demanded while rising from his place. He took a grip of my hair then grabbed swiftly at my shoulders and pinned me down in the sheets again.

'Voooi! It hurts! ... Mmph!'

The raven pressed our lips together, harshly, ruthlessly, savagely. That was Xanxus. A fucking spoiled brat who always gets what he wants. Well, yeah, a brat with some skills which, with no fail, always succeeded in leaving my mind freed from all thoughts when they were applied.

And my body simply couldn't say no to that travelling afrodisiaco called Xanxus.

He was bending between my thighs, all his weight crushing me down. Our tongues intertwined and started massaging, tasting, ravishing each other. My arms were already locked on the raven's back, as I was feeling Xanxus' burning hands wandering everywhere on my naked flesh.

'Mmm… Xanxus…'

Teeth clashing, lips bruised, skin still marked by the previous day's ministrations, the man above me attacking and consuming my body, his hands keeping on stroking my hair or grazing my legs, parting them, lifting my waist up and sliding on my thighs. A shudder went through my body. Fuck. Did that asshole really have some trick to stir me up every time he touched me? Or was I getting used to his contact?

Xanxus invaded my mouth. Feeling his appendage filling the wet cavern was still provoking a weird sensation. It was just that when Xanxus was doing something, he was always doing it with his entire strength and his entire wrath, and he possessed both to satiety. I had an impediment in breathing; my vision was blurred enough for me to take only in the raven's dark locks piling up in front of my eyes, hiding his stunningly piercing reddish gaze.

He deepened the kiss.

It left me unable to reason anymore. I knew where my brain's blood was pouring down; I didn't really give a damn at that moment. What only interested me was where Xanxus was lingering his hands: first they had been slowly downing from my shoulders to my chest, and then finally they lazily laid down on my ass. I jolted forward, breaking the kiss.

'Ah! Aan…' An irregular pant was going out from my parted lips.

Xanxus smirked.

'Look who was bitching so much about me fucking him. Now you're just moaning like a natural-born whore and whining for more… Yet, last night you were so drunk I didn't have the delight of hearing more of your mewling.' Xanxus licked at my neck and rubbed at my buttock.

That fucking feccia! Whether he was totally oblivious of my trouble to subdue so easily to someone I've just met, whether he was aware of that fact, and in spite of that, instead of shutting his fucking mouth up and fucking doing what he was up to, I had to hear him mocking at me.

Goddamn piece of junk.

I bit hard on his lower lip. Xanxus swore and drew himself up, a shady glare glowing from his eyes.

'Puttana' he said threateningly 'what was that for?'

Xanxus was angrily staring at me, but I gave him a fierce look of the same level. Both of us were sitting up in the bed.

'Voooi. I should be the one asking that; just tell me why the hell I should let you doing as you want. Right now you're no different from that other asshole. I don't mean of becoming a fucking puppet for both of you.'

Xanxus groaned and brushed his bangs back.

'I thought I've already made clear you were only mine and nobody else's; of course I don't share. If you've got a problem with that, deal with it.'

'Fuck you! That's what I'm talking about! You bring me to some place I don't even know when I was completely dead to the world, you call me a whore again and you start fooling around with me as if I was your fucking pet. You selfish bastard, do you think I'm just some other slut of yours? Vooi, if you need quick screws that badly, go find a hooker and leave me alone already.'

I tried to get up but a felt something tugging at my hair, pulling me back to the bed. I sat down.

'Vooi. What? You still want something from me?'

Was I being too much docile? Who cares?

'I didn't say you could leave trash.'

'Huh? Sorry but you don't have your word to say about it. Let me go.'

'Do you even know where you are?'

'Che. Feel free to enlighten me about this or shut up and die.'

'You're noisy, shark trash. And I won't tell anything. Just fuck off.' He said bossily while lying down. As a minimum he set my hair free; I took advantage of it and brought it back to me.

Okay… We were back to immaturo and egoistico Xanxus. Great. I sighed.

'Then die. I'm leaving.'

'How?'

'With the same way you hauled me here.'

'Naked?'

'Vooi. I'll have my clothes back, bastard.'

'You mean that frilly dress? I'm not against it.'

Fuck. I forgot about that.

'Er… Well… How about you lend me some…'

'Don't wanna.'

'You animal!'

The raven haired yawned and began playing with the tip of my hair.

'So you're going back to your master? You really are his bitch, happy with having that lame ass fucking and bothering you out when he's in the doldrums. You surely were a dog or shit like that in your previous life.'

'Have you heard yourself speaking? Seems like you were talking about yourself, earlier.'

'Shut up.' He paused. 'I'm hungry.'

'So what?'

'Go fetch something for me to eat. Carne.'

'And where the heck am I supposed to find some? This is your house! Plus I'm undressed… Vooi. Fuck it! I'm not your servant; if you're hungry, find something for yourself!'

'Carne. The cooks are downstairs. If you don't I'll fucking kill you.' He said and went back sleeping.

'Are you kidding me?' I yelled. 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

A vase crashed on my head.

'Carne. Shark. Now.'

I was back ten minutes later with a still steaming enormous bistecca. The first thing I saw when I came in Xanxus' room was a glass smashing into my head. There still was some brandy in it.

'Voooooooi, bastard! When people are getting food for you! …'

'You're fucking late.'

How couldn't I?

I ended up finding a black dressing-gown in Xanxus' personal bathroom. It took me fucking hours to find the kitchen, but I didn't notice it because I was almost running throughout the house. Shit! When did I officially become that scum's slave? Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it! And the face the cook showed when I talked to him! Something like a 'so-you're-the-young-master's-newest-one'. Screw them all! None of those fucking cooks answered when I asked where we were, they just continued what they were doing before I was there. And back to the bedroom all the reward I got was some shitty brandy dripping in my hair!

'And what if I am? It's not like I am a regular visitor, and 'downstairs' isn't enough for a precision! Raah forget it! I don't give a flying shit about.' I said while almost throwing the dish to Xanxus. 'So, you're finally willing to send me back to my lame ass of a boss?'

'I won't.' Xanxus, still in the bed, was eating greedily his steak. A bit too greedily.

'Che! I'm not yearning for doling out for the rest of the day. Who do you think I am? Your babysitter? Sorry but contrary to you, I'm a grown-up adult with a pile of work waiting for me on my desk. I don't have fucking time to play with you.' I sat on the border, turning my back to the raven haired man. Excepted Xanxus' morning rudeness, it was a relatively calm day, mostly a morning I didn't wake up next to Andrea; I didn't want anyone to jeopardize it.

'You're staying here. I don't like having my properties strolling everywhere. Just forget about that Bartali looser. Why don't you serve me instead? Booze, shark.'

'Fuck off! If you need so much alcohol, then start stopping throwing it all to me!'

'Stop whining, shark trash. This time tequila.'

'Voooi!'

Hell I was tired of it, and so I totally forgot I hadn't eaten anything since the previous day.

'Hurry up.'

'Get lost!'

'Huh? I didn't hear clearly. You just said you wanted to go back to that Bartali shithead, and walking all the way naked from tip to toe, didn't you?'

'… Shit. I got it.'

Same sprint as earlier, but that time, with a bottle of tequila in my mechanical hand.

Again, a glass of wine hitting my head back to the bedroom.

Asshole. Sometimes I just want to slap him. Nah, that's a lie. No, not sometimes; all the time.

Few times went by like this: Xanxus and I arguing for stupid things, and tequila swallowed like orange juice ('Voi, stop drinking that much. You'll die of liver failure.' – 'Who did ask for your advice, you piece of shit?').

'So, now?' I watched outside. I could guess it was toward 3:00 pm. 'Voi, Xanxus. I mean it I really have to go back home.'

Xanxus' eyes darkened. He had finished his gigantic bistecca some time ago, and was applying himself in emptying his booze. He took one, two gulps, then stayed silenced a few time.

'Or else what? You'll get raped? Did that shitface chastise you so severely that you're perfectly unable to think about anything else but him, even when he's away?' Xanxus mocked.

I was stunned by what he said. I knew Xanxus was a selfish bastard – he was as a self-centered person as he was an alcoholic – yet until now he hadn't say anything, well, especially cutting toward me, and we were quarrelling almost every minute since our meeting. So why so suddenly?

'Voi. Quit it already.' My voice quavered.

Something was weird. Something was truly weird. Actually it wasn't the things he said, rather the way he said them which got me uncomfortable. I've never expected compassion from Xanxus, nor compassion, nor gentleness; I didn't need those. Then again what was that stinging sensation in my chest?

'It must have been hard on you. You don't look like the submissive type. Did it hurt? Did you cry? I'm sure your screams are as delightful as your mouth.' Xanxus came closer and grabbed painfully at my hair.

'Shut up I said.'

Stop this. Stop this.

That really is what I don't want you to talk about.

'Or I'm wrong… So you liked it? That option wouldn't be amazing. Like some time before, when we were kissing, you were responding so well; your body are practically used to a man's touch. I even wonder if a woman still can satisfy you now… At any rate I said you're mine, didn't I?...'

With one hand, Xanxus gripped at the gown's knot.

Ah. What did I feel back then? A mixture of anger, anger from my wounded pride, anger from my wounded body; but also – strange thing – scraps of disappointment, insoddisfazione.

'Quit on choosing for other people's life!' I screamed to him and glared, very seriously. It was getting too far. That subject was a minefield I didn't want to cross, most of all with that Xanxus bastard. 'Do you think the world is revolving around of you only? You're just a shitty spoiled brat, talking as if you knew anything … All you've done was dragging me here and fucking upsetting me… Have you the slightest idea of how much I've become tired of all of this? You, Andrea, or any other retard in this scum-like world… Fed up of that asshole. I feel disgusted and wretched about what he has done of me… I hate it! No matter how I see it, I can't help but loathing at it! And still, you…'

'Trash. You're just some piece of pathetic shark. If you don't like it that much then quit.'

What sort of elementary schoolboy's reasoning was that?

'Shut the hell up! You don't know what you're talking about! That's why I say you're just a fucking brat. Families aren't things you can leave because you feel like it; the Bartalis aren't people I can drop like this, for some feeble reason. How could you even understand it? …'

'You're the one who doesn't understand anything…'

Xanxus pulled my head even closer, but he did it so hard I thought he would scalp me.

'I'm not talking about family or shit. I could care less about all those good-for-nothing idiots. What I'm talking about is you. This is because it's you, Squalo, what I want and what I deserve to have; and this ain't something I'd ask some other scum for.'

He still was clenching at my head, but gradually released his grip.

Awkward silence.

'Vooi. Don't fucking decide by yourself.' I said at last. Then, as if I had thought about something particularly amusing, I grinned at Xanxus, my trademark ferric grin.

'I won't go cheap.'


Calore: warmth

Chissà: maybe

Letto a baldacchino: four-poster

Afrodisiaco: aphrodisiac

Feccia: scum

Puttana: bitch

Immaturo: immature

Egoistico: egoistic

Carne: meat

Bistecca: bifteck

Insoddisfazione: dissatisfaction


Phew. Made it.

Next chapter will come faster (I wish *bow and cry*)

Keep following! ^^

Oh and sorry for spelling mistakes...