Hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a good February :) My boss gave me extra hours this month so I've been working non stop and my exhaustion has meant writing this chapter was a little slow... Sorry for the delay! Now that I have a better idea of what I'm doing with the plot hopefully I'll be able to write it faster. To PotatoeGodess: thank you so much for your review! I am a complete fangirl when it comes to Shion and Nezumi so when I can make someone else smile/fangirl at them (especially in my writing gawsh) it makes me very very happy! I hope you and my Guest viewer continue to read and enjoy the story, and I hope I can continue to make you smile :)
Also for a side note, in case anyone doesn't know this, 'tadaima' is what Japanese people commonly say when they come home, it roughly means 'I'm home!' It's in this chapter somewhere so I thought I'd mention it in case people didn't know.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter lovelies! x
The book Nezumi gave me not only had analysis footnotes, but had little notes lightly pencilled in between the pages. I guessed they belonged to Nezumi, since he was the only one apart from me who had taken it out of the library in the past five years.
It took me a long time to read the book again, since my English is so rusty, but Tamashi was right- Nezumi's little notes flowed in perfect English, in uncharacteristically neat handwriting. I traced the little letters with my fingers when I read them, and used them as discussion points with Tamashi.
Helping Tamashi with his English work gave me an excuse to delve back into my favourite book, and for some reason I wanted to impress Nezumi by reading up on it, since it seemed he knew the story like the back of his hand. My responsibilities for work and home life had pushed my reading out of the picture, and I felt guilty for neglecting one of my favourite stories like that.
I hadn't seen Safu much recently, because she was starting work on her student's first assessment of the term- but I could tell she was verging on annoyed at me starting to read again. She understood that it was a hobby of mine, but she held the firm belief that reading so many fictional stories was a waste of time. She didn't care if I read occasionally, but she always said that once you start getting obsessed with something, you start to neglect everything else in your life. This meant that she had developed an organised system that let her moderate work and leisure- and she often tried to get me to follow it. I let her rant about it now and again, but I tried not to take much notice.
Underneath all her nagging and berating, I still saw the kind Safu- the Safu who held my hand when I was scared as a child, despite claiming 'being afraid of the dark is for wimps'; the Safu who bought me tickets to go see Twelfth Night despite her indifference to the theatre; the Safu who often worked through her lunch break so she could spend the evening with me and Tamashi. In a way I was privileged to see this part of her- most people only see her negative qualities when they look at her- leading some people to question how a guy like me could be friends with a girl like her.
It was, perhaps, because of this that I strove to look past her negative qualities- to show those people that they were wrong.
So when she asked me round for dinner the following week, I complied- the only times I'd seen her recently were when I was dropping Tamashi home, and we had lots to talk about. When she finally got a day off she used it to take a tour of Tamashi's school, and I was eager to find out what she thought of the teachers. Especially ones that liked to hang around libraries with entrancing eyes and sullen expressions. The book he gave me reminded me of him, which meant reading it was coupled with thinking of him. It was a natural curiosity…he had an air of mystery around him. My interest in him was clearly because I love to solve a good mystery- nothing more.
Luckily, Safu wasn't exactly on the ball when it came to noticing things like that, so when I asked if she had come across Nezumi, she didn't even ask how I knew his name.
"Yes, he was an odd character that one." I put down my forkful of spaghetti and looked at her quizzically from across the table. Spaghetti Bolognese is one of my favourite dishes- something I'm sure Safu thought of when deciding to cook it.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well he wasn't exactly eager to talk to me- and he was showing quite a few signs of anxiety, like avoiding eye contact and standing very stiffly. I also think he may have got offended when I asked him what a Japanese man was doing teaching English Literature."
Almost spitting out my drink, I swallowed before laughing out loud.
"Well probably Safu, I think I'd be offended if someone said something like that to me!" She looked taken aback by my laughter and pushed around the food on her plate, shifting in her chair.
"I didn't mean it to be rude. I just wondered if he spoke fluent English…" She played with her food more, chewing her lip in a way I knew meant that she was getting upset.
"Hey." I nudged the back of her hand with mine and waited until she was looking me in the eye.
"Don't worry about it. You still probably need to work on your social skills a bit…" The scowl I received made me nervously laugh and speed up what I was saying. That ice cold stare still had the ability to make me unnerved.
"But Nezumi-sensei was a bit like that when I met him- giving very short answers and not smiling. I wouldn't worry about it." I couldn't bring myself to tell her that he didn't seem to always be like that- how he could be polite and kind, and how his smile had a warm familiarity to it that I could not place.
"So anyway, tell me how your assessment is going. Any promising young students?" I tucked back into my meal, which was now getting cold.
"I can't really tell yet, most of them are still too scared to think outside the box. The other day one of my students dropped a beaker containing amylase on the floor and she started crying."
"You sure you had nothing to do with her crying?" I teased, "I can imagine a lot of your students are intimidated by you."
"That may be true, but although I may lack… social skills," she made air quotations with her fingers and mimicked my voice- to which I simply laughed. "I'm not insensitive enough to make a student cry on purpose. I've been told before that having an expert teacher your subject can be quite scary- they probably think I'll fail them if they get an answer wrong. It seems that kids nowadays don't understand that you need to make mistakes in order to learn."
"That's true. Do you remember when Tamashi was first learning multiplication at school and he cried because he couldn't figure out 6 x 8?" Safu laughed heartily.
"Of course I remember- he kept demanding that the teachers were wrong and tha was in fact 46. It took him two hours to figure it out- and that was after I explained it to him. He sure was one for tantrums."
"Speaking of Tamashi, where is he tonight?"
"Oh he called a while ago to say he had some things to finish off at school and that he would get the train home."
Always a worrier, I felt my stomach knot slightly.
"Will he be ok getting the train? It's quite late…"
"He'll be fine. He texted me to say he was on the train so he'll be home soon. Besides, I showed him which line to take to get home before he started middle school, remember?"
Feeling slightly less worried, we fell into an amicable silence; the only sound between us the clinking of cutlery against our plates. Next Safu would bring out a bowl of popcorn, and we would talk on the sofas, or see if there was a documentary to watch on T.V. Then she would say it was time for Tamashi to go to bed, and I would make my way home.
It was almost always the same, like a record on repeat. Part of me liked the comfort of familiarity- but I felt restless- the type that you feel when you have been sitting still somewhere for a very long time. There was a longing sleeping dormant inside me- a longing to run for miles and miles- a longing to stand still in the middle of a raining storm; a longing to feel something.
I often found myself imagining what those sensations would feel like, and would zone out completely, thinking about the wind and the water and the cold.
Tamashi came home just as we settled on the sofas with the bowl of predicted popcorn next to us. His entrance punctured my little bubble of restlessness, and I jumped up to go meet him.
"Tadaima."
"Ah Tamashi, welcome home! Did you have a good day at school?" Tamashi took his shoes off at the porch and rubbed his eyes, looking small and tired.
"Yeah, it was fine." Safu appeared at my shoulder before I could ask him anything else.
"Hi sweetie, we've just finished dinner. Do you want me to heat up some spaghetti for you?"
"Yes please, I'm starving."
He trailed into the living room, and I picked up the popcorn bowl just before Tamashi fell back on the sofa. I could hear Safu in the kitchen, but I decided to stay and sat down on the other sofa.
"So, what were you doing after school then? Your mum said you had some things to finish up."
Tamashi slowly sat up into an upright position, "Oh yeah…it was just something for biology club."
"Biology club? But its Thursday- I thought biology club was on a Tuesday?" Tamashi all of a sudden became fascinated with the tassles on his scarf, and began to fiddle with them.
"Well yeah it is…I mean…I just needed to talk to Inukashi-sensei who runs it…it was just about the experiment we were doing, that's all."
"Oh right I see. What exper-
"I think I'm going to go wash up." Tamashi stood up so quickly I nearly dropped the popcorn bowl. My eyebrows knotted in confusion, "Dinner will be nearly ready."
Usually a sense of relief washed over Nezumi when the last bell rung out through the school, but today, for the second Thursday in a row, it filled him with dread. Despite finding out the week before on that fateful day in the library that there was no blood relation between the boy he would be tutoring in half an hour, and the man from his past, he couldn't shake the feeling.
Because every time he looked into the boys eyes, he thought about the man's eyes instead.
Nezumi decided to spend the half hour before the dreaded tutoring session by sitting in the empty classroom and reading. He tried to read as many English books as he could in order to refresh his memory of the language, as it often secretly scared him that one day he would open one of his favourite pieces only to find the words staring back a mess of unintelligible lines.
Today he was reading Jane Eyre- after forgetting Bertha Mason's name he found himself feeling almost guilty for neglecting one of his beloved classic novels. He sat at his desk, with his feet propped up on the table, and holding his book gently so as not to crease the spine.
And just like that- his feeling of apprehension flittered away as he delved into the pages; into each word that Charlotte Bronte had written all those years ago. He was nearing the climax of the story, and the pages almost felt warm as he anticipated the fire that loomed on only a few pages away. It was at this stage of the novel that Nezumi felt a slight annoyance for Jane. Only chapters earlier she had left her poor Mr Rochester, and despite liking her courageous and independent character and being able to relate to her character, he always found himself sighing in annoyance at her midnight escape.
It often left Nezumi contemplating the situation well after he had put the book down. He did not see Mr Rochester as a bad person- he simply had bad circumstances. For how could he tell Jane of his awful secret that would surely drive her away forever? How could he hurt her like that?
Reading classics was always more of a challenge when it came to language, so Nezumi was so focused on the book that he didn't even notice Tamashi knocking on the door, or eventually come into the room.
"Ah, sorry sensei, I didn't mean to interrupt you..." Nezumi tried to hide his scowl of being interrupted whilst reading- something he hated the most, closely followed by people that talk too loud and busy trains- and realised that it was five past four.
"No, it's fine. I got carried away reading. Let's sit down and get started, shall we?"
"O-ok." Clearly still nervous around Nezumi, Tamashi was perched on the edge of his chair with his notebook placed in front of him when Nezumi turned to face him. Nezumi tried to spark up conversation to ease the boy a bit before they got down to work. From his experience it was just as hard teaching a student wracked with nerves as it was trying to teach a child with an attitude problem.
"Have you ever read any of the English classics?" Tamashi was clearly startled by the question, as he stared at Nezumi confused for a few seconds, before murmuring,
"Just Hamlet and twelfth night…I read non-fiction books mainly…"
"Oh right, you like Shakespeare then?" A nod was the only reply Nezumi got.
"Well, when you get your English to a higher standard you should give some of them a read. I was reading one now- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. It's an excellent book. Much easier to read than Shakespeare's original work- though I'm sure you read Hamlet in Japanese, correct?" Tamashi's head pricked up a little at these casual words and he smiled.
"Yes I did…Though my mother does have the complete works of Shakespeare in English- but I've never seen her read them so I'm not really sure why she has them…Probably to make herself look cultured to visitors."
Nezumi laughed suddenly- surprised partly at the outburst of the usually silent child, or of his sceptical suggestion about his mother. His laugh ran short, however, when he realised that they were probably a present from Shion. Even though they weren't together, the thought made him feel an odd sense of sadness.
Tamashi, luckily, didn't catch his quick change in mood and smiled brightly, happy that he made the famously grumpy teacher laugh.
Nezumi cleared his throat, and once again assumed the gruff voice that he masked around himself like armour.
"Well anyway let's pick up where we left off last time." He dragged a chair next to Tamashi, who cowered slightly at the proximity of the intimidating older man, but he didn't seem as scared as he was last week, which Nezumi saw as a positive change.
"Did you bring the test with you?"
"Er yeah I did, it's uh…" Tamashi began frantically rummaging through his bag on the floor, realising in his daze of nervousness he hadn't got anything out yet.
He pulled out a slightly creased set of paper and laid it down on the table, trying to smooth out the dog eared corners and blushing at his carelessness. Nezumi didn't comment on it, knowing that Tamashi crying could still be a very real possibility- despite hating it when people didn't take care of their work or their books.
"Ok good. How about you get on with some vocab learning while I mark this, and then we'll discuss what level you're at and what we'll do next." Tamashi nodded, and wordlessly pulled out the 'Big Book of English Vocabulary' that Nezumi had given him the week before.
Nezumi began marking the test, reading the badly scrawled English quickly, as if doing so could make the next hour go by any faster. He found that he was circling more answers than he was correcting, and found he had clearly underestimated Tamashi's level of English. Perhaps Shion had taught him.
He glanced up at the boy then, pen poised just above the paper. Tamashi probably saw Shion every week, if not every other day. He was so oblivious to who he had in his life, and Nezumi had grown to resent him for being ignorant. But then again, not that Nezumi had had time to process everything, he felt an emotion akin to shame for hating on the young boy. He should not hate Tamashi simply for being in Shion's life more than he was…after all, that would suggest that Nezumi was jealous of Tamashi…and he really had no reason to be.
As if he could sense Nezumi's eyes burning into him, Tamashi looked up to meet his gaze.
"Is everything ok sensei?" He said tentatively, and Nezumi looked down too quickly, trying not to blush from the embarrassment, and instead bunched his face up into a blushing angry scowl. Nezumi's eyes were now glued to his paper, so did not see Tamashi have to bite his lip to stop himself giggling at his teacher's odd behaviour.
"Yes, I…I was just thinking about giving you some more reading material." The silence that ensued was far too awkward for Nezumi's liking, and he could feel Tamashi's eyes pinned to him.
"Try and finish that page of vocab and then do exercises one and two."
"Ok." Tamashi's voice still sounded quiet and reserved, but he felt the fear for his teacher start to dissipate slightly, and he went back to his work with more of a smile on his face than before.
