Theme Park Troubles

Disclaimer: "Ooh, a head bag. Chock full of...heady goodness." - Apu, The Simpsons

Chapter 7: Of Beaches and Arenas!

Misfit Manor, The Pit

"From Universal Studios Hollywood, these are the American Gladiators!" The television announced. The parrot known as Polly was watching the television.

"Awk! Go, Zap!" The parrot crowed. "Awk! Glad Pyro's gone! Last Thanksgiving, he tried to stuff me in the oven for the dinner! Awk!" He flew to the phone and started dialing. "Awk! Domino's Pizza! Send over forty large cheese pizzas! Got gold card!" Polly eyed Shipwrecks' credit card.

Adventure World beach

Among the many conveniences that the futuristic theme park known as Adventure World had, there was also a beach, where guests could go and have a nice tan, or relax for a while. And the Misfits' resident "golden couple", Todd Tolensky and Althea Delgado, were sitting on the beach, relaxing and catching some rays. Well, Althea was catching rays. Todd was at a stand, buying ice cream.

"Here ya go, mac." The man at the stand handed Todd two bowls full of ice cream.

"Thanks, yo." Todd handed the man some money and took the bowls away. "Althea will love this!" He didn't notice a figure standing some distance away from him. The figure's face was covered by his jacket and hat, but it stared at Todd with narrow glowing electronic green eyes. Althea herself was lying on the beach, listening to some music through headphones.

"Do you love me? Now that I can dance..." Althea sang. Todd stood over the black-and-blue-haired girl, holding his ice cream bowls. He shook his head with a kind chuckle.

Al,yo...you shouldn't quit the ninja day job. The amphibious mutant chuckled. He noticed that Al didn't realize that he wasn't there. He decided to have a little fun. He placed the bowls of ice cream down, being careful to not allow the chance of the ice cream getting sand on it. Using his hands, the frog-like mutant started to lightly kick sand onto his girlfriend. "Doo de doo doo..."

"I can mashed potato..." Althea sang as she looked down. "Hey!" Althea swept the sand off her. "Toddles, what are you doing?!" Todd burst out laughing.

"I got your ice cream, yo." Todd told her, picking up the bowls and giving her one.

"Ooh, mint chocolate chip. Thank you!" Althea grinned eagerly, taking one bowl. She looked at Todd's ice cream. "Plain ol' chocolate?" Todd shrugged.

"I never was much for all those fancy flavors anyway, yo." Todd took a seat next to his water-manipulating girlfriend and started eating his ice cream. "This is good ice cream."

"Uh-huh." Althea nodded in agreement, licking her lips. "I love mint chocolate chip."

"Why?" Todd wondered.

"Meh. I just do." Althea shrugged. She smiled as she looked out at the sea. "You know, I've always loved the ocean. I've always felt...connected to it, you know?"

"I think it's your powers, yo." Todd shrugged.

"Maybe." Althea dug back into her ice cream. "You know, it's too bad that you and I can't go for a dip in that water. It looks so nice..."

"Yeah, but we change colors in salt water, remember?" Todd remembered. "You turn blue, I turn green." He then looked at his girlfriend. "I always found that funny."

"Found what?" Althea blinked.

"That whole color-change thing." Todd explained. "I always wondered why we do that. I never really thought about asking, though. Other things kept popping up."

"I think I may have a theory." Althea shuffled in her place a bit to get comfortable. "I thought of it after I saw something on sharks on TV." She smiled at Todd. "Do you know why sharks are colored the way they are? Grey on top, white on bottom."

"Well, to be honest..." Todd scratched the back of his head. "I never really thought about that, yo. When I see a shark, I usually don't think about its coloring. I usually just think about getting the heck away from it, yo." Althea laughed.

"Yeah, I don't blame you." Althea agreed. "Well, I read that sharks are colored that way for camouflage. When they're viewed from above, their coloring helps them blend in with the water. "When viewed from below, they appear to blend in with the sky."

"...And?"

"Well, I was thinking that my color changes are a form of camouflage." Althea explained.
Think about it. When I'm in salt water, I turn blue."

"Hmm..." Todd scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hey yeah, I think I'm getting it...you turn blue in salt water as a form of camouflage."

"Yup. That's my theory." Althea grinned. "I turn blue to make myself invisible in the water."

"But why do I turn green?" Todd frowned.

"Probably the amphibian in your DNA." Althea shrugged. "Still, I wish i could shut it off. I'd like to be able to swim in public."

"Ah, I was never much of a swimmer." Todd shrugged. "I've always been more of a land frog." Althea burst out laughing. Todd glared at his girlfriend. "What's so funny, yo?"

"A land frog?" Althea reapted, laughing. "That's silly."

"Why is that silly, yo?" Todd blinked.

"Because frogs don't live exclusively on land, silly." Althea laughed. "Frogs spend their early lives in the water as tadpoles. Once they mature, they become frogs and live on land. In fact, I think the word amphibian means 'two forms' in Latin or something."

"Greek. Amphibian comes from two Greek words meaning 'both' and 'life', yo." Todd smirked. "It's from the fact they both have lives in air and water." Althea's jaw dropped.

"How'd you know that?" Todd smirked in response to Althea's question.

"I'm not a complete bonehead." The amphibious mutant snickered. "I do read on occasion."

"No you don't." Althea shook her head. "When you wanted to learn about the Battle of Thermopylae, you ordered the History Channel DVD."

"TV stimulates my brain." Todd smiled. The figure that was watching Todd earlier had slunk away, muttering.

Roman World

Roman World was an area in Adventure World patterned after the legendary Roman Empire. Low Light and Spirit had decided to come check out the sights.

"Heh. Who would've thought that this place would also be educational?" Low Light chuckled. "Look at this Roman god." He pointed at a statue of a toga-wearing man wearing a flat wide-brimmed helmet with wings on it. "Which one's this again?"

"Mercury." A voice explained. "The Greeks called him Hermes. He was the god of trade. He also was the gods' messenger because of his ability to move at incredible speed." Low Light and Spirit turned around and caught sight of Lance, Spyder, Craig, and John standing there.

"How'd you know that, Lance?" Spirit wondered.

"Ah, I've always been a bit of a fan of Greek mythology. For some reason, it's appealed to me." Lance explained. John wandered over to another statue of a toga-clad man in front of a forge.

"Hey, who's this guy?" The insane Australian wondered. "For some reason, he appeals to me."

"I'm not surprised." Lance smirked. "That's Vulcan, John. He's the Roman god of fire and volcanoes, and he forged armor and weapons for the gods. The Greeks called him Hephaestus."

"...I like Vulcan better." John blinked. "It's easier to say than Hep-haste-us." The insane young mutant turned back to the statue. "You know, it's too bad this Vulcan guy wasn't a goddess. I'd date a fire goddess." He then smiled fondly. "We'd get married and be together and have lots of sprogs..."

"Oh, man..." Lance moaned.

"I find it hard to believe that there are girls out there who actually like that idiot." Spyder frowned, pointing at John.

"We can hardly believe it either, young one." Spirit nodded in agreement.

"There's always Pele." Craig told John. "She's the Hawaiian fire goddess. But she's got a worse temper than the Scarlet Witch and the Thunderbolt put together." Horns were heard. "Hey, what was that?"

"Sounds like it came from the Colosseum." Lance smirked. "I heard they have robots simulating the gladiator games here."

"Like the ones in Ancient Rome?" Craig blinked. "This I gotta see."

The Colosseum

Roman World had a large replica of the legendary Italian landmark known as the Colosseum. However, this Colosseum didn't resemble the ruins the legendary stadium had become. Instead, this Colosseum looked like it would've in its prime, during the Roman era. Low Light, Spirit, Spyder, Craig, Lance, and John were sitting in the stands alongside the rest of the audience, watching a robotic gladiator clad in traditional armor, and wielding a spear, shield, and net, battling a robotic lion.

"This is good." Low Light slipped his soda. "I'm not normally a cheerful guy, but I have to admit, I'm having fun."

"Isn't this kinda cruel?" Spyder blinked. "You know, forcing an animal to fight a gladiator?"

"This is how they did it back in these days, shorty." Lance explained. "Today, it's considered cruel. Back then, it was entertainment."

"Besides, Spyder..." Spirit smiled. "Neither that gladiator nor that lion are real. They are animatronic."

"Didn't they used to throw people to the lions as punishment?" Craig wondered.

"Yeah, they did." Lance nodded. "Why?"

"We should throw Pietro into the lion's den at the zoo, then. If the cops ask, we can tell them we were dispensing Roman justice." Craig smirked.

"...you're still mad at him for ordering that light blue leather jacket in your name, huh?" Spirit noted.

"You bet I am." Craig scowled. He then looked at his soda container. "Hey, I need another soda!"

"Soda here!" A soda guy, dressed like a Roman, gave Craig another soda.

"Huh." Spirit frowned. "Soda and popcorn at a Roman event. Very realistic."

"What do you expect? It's a theme park, not the History Channel." Lance shrugged. A figure watched the two Joes and four Misfits, eyes starting to glow electronic green.

"Heh heh heh..." The figure snickered under his breath in an English accent. He pulled out a gadget that looks like a controller for an RC plane, only more futuristic and it had a small screen in the center. "Time to have some fun..." He turned on the device. The robotic gladiator stopped stalking the lion and turned its head towards the heroes. He held up his spear and threw it at the heroes, making the audience gasp.

"Oh, God!" Spyder exclaimed. Craig quickly stood up and fired his eye laser at the flying spear. The laser managed to vaporize the spear.

"Somehow, I get the feeling that wasn't supposed to happen." Low Light blinked.

Well, well, well! Looks like problems are about to start! What insanity will happen next? Who was the figure? What was up with the gladiator? How will Shipwreck kill Polly? Will I stop asking stupid questions? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!