The camera clicks on to show Samantha's face up close for a few seconds before she scotches on back to the couch and sits herself down comfortably. Beyond is sitting next to her in his usual way, knees pulled up to his chest and fingers dipping down to scoop up some jam from a jar by his feet. Next to him on the other side, scooted as far back from both as she can is Kanki, wrapped in a large quilt and sneezing uncontrollably. The ground around her feet is littered with tissues.

"Hi, all." Kanki says in a my-nose-is-stuffed-up sort of fashion. "Sorry for any sneezing, hacking, and anything of that sort that may ensue. It's not my –" she interrupts herself with a loud cough "– fault. It's Neko-chan's."

"It is not!" Samantha shrieks in response. "I did not make your immune system not worth crap!"

"It is your fault that you locked me outside for six hours!" Kanki shot back.

"That is a bit harsh, sister." Beyond murmured around two jam-coated fingers he was in the process of sucking clean.

"Says the serial killer." Samantha instantly retorted. "Who's side are you on, anyway?"

"I thought that would be obvious. I'm on the jam's side."

"Jam isn't a side! It's my side or her side." On 'her' Samantha shot Kanki a seething glare.

"Jam can be a side if it damn well wants to!" Kanki cut in, then sneezed impressively.

"L bless you!" both Wammy's children said instantly.

Kanki stared at them both silently for a minute or eight. "Wow. Wammy's style brainwashing much?"

"Hunh? Isn't that what your supposed to say?" Samantha questioned.

"Um… sure." Kanki said slowly. "Shall we just get on with today's letters?"

"… yeah, okay." Samantha said, equally slowly as she pulled a piece of paper from a small bag and unfolded it again. She blinked. "Oh, it's from Cloud, again."

"Oh! Our favorite would-be-serial killer!" Kanki cheered.

"She sends me nice jam." Beyond tacked on his opinion of the sender.

"Well, then, read the letter, Neko-chan!" Kanki declared.

"My name is SAMANTHA!"

"Yeah, yeah, Neko-chan, whatever you say. Now just read, allright?"

"Fine, fine…" Samantha held the letter in front of her, clearing her throat. "Okay… 'CLOUD IS BACK! No, I am not Cloud from Zelda' … aww, Mattface will be so disappointed… oh well… 'my name is short for Claudia, but I can give you an autograph just the same!'" Samantha paused, chewing n her lip in thought. "Hmm… I think that he would be able to tell the difference, unfortunately. Thank you for the offer, though! Now, back to the letter… 'And there is NO way I would get caught! You just wait and see… *mwahaha*'" Samantha stopped and looked at the camera in a worried way. "I would really prefer that you didn't…"

"It's really my line of work." Beyond added. "Though I suppose it could be considered a tribute crime to Beyond, yes?"

"Yes." Kanki answered him with a nod. "But I wouldn't. See, my show is monitored by the police systems of eight different countries, as well as that of five cities in the California area, and we have to send copies of every episode to L to be allowed to have Beyond-kun out of confinement." She pouted lightly. "So doing or mentioning anything illegal here is just a bad idea… Kanki is sorry! She doesn't mean to ruin Cloud's murdering dreams!"

"Ahem… can we get back?" Samantha questioned. Beyond nodded, and Kanki sneezed before nodding as well. "Right then… 'QUESTION TYME! Beyond: (I still love you, by the way) Why do you refer to yourself in third person? (same goes to Kanki) DO you see everything in a shade of red (because of your eyes)? How old are you? Do you eat anything but jam?'" she turned to her brother. "Well?"

"Thank you for your fondness, Cloud-san." Beyond said with a little half smile. "It makes Beyond happy. As to why I refer to myself in third person? ... Beyond refers to himself in third person? He was not aware of this. Hmmm…. Beyond supposes that it would be because Beyond spent so much time trying to be L-san, so it is possible that he sometimes forgets that he is supposed to be Beyond, and refers to himself in third person because he forgets that he is indeed himself."

"Well that wasn't confusing." Kanki quipped. "I refer to myself in third person for two reasons…well, three, really… First of all, I picked it up from cosplaying Misa to much, and I have the tendency to pick up on others mannerisms of speech, yeah. Also, in Asia – specifically Japan – it is considered 'cute' to refer to yourself in third person, and causes my friends to squeal something in Chinese that I can't understand, then hug me repeatedly, which makes me feel loved. Lastly, it's really just a habit, hmm. I can't help it, sometimes I just slip into third person. Cloud doesn't mind that Kanki is like that, does she?"

Samantha rolled her eyes. "Kanki, every time I think you couldn't get any weirder, you do."

"Thank you, yeah!"

"…that wasn't a compliment."

"Can Beyond finish answering his questions now?" the psychopathic genius asked from where he was sitting on the couch, before a verbal tennis match could start up.

"Of course, Beyond-kun!" Kanki chirped.

"Thank you, Kanki-chan." Beyond nodded to her. "Beyond does not see everything in a shade of red. For example, black things still look black, and other dark colors. The corners of my vision do tend to have a light pinkish-red tinge however. Does that answer your question, Cloud-san?"

"Kanki bets that it does." Kanki said with a nod. "Next question?"

"… what was it again? Beyond has forgotten…"

"How old are you, brother?" Samantha told him, then paused. "Don't tell them that, because then they'll know how I am. I don't feel comfortable with that information being released to the public."

"But… Neko-chan! Kanki's wonderful viewers – " Kanki begain.

"don't need to know how old we are, end of discussion!" the Birthday girl snapped.

"… scarry!" Kanki yelped, before sneezing violently.

"Now… your last question, Cloud, was if my brother eats anything but jam." Samantha continued, ignoring the quivering author. "Well… if he had his way, he wouldn't but I try to make sure he gets a balanced diet. It doesn't work well, though. Back when we were kids he would be the first to try whatever I baked or cooked, but now, unless it's made with, say, a jam filling, you have to tie him down and force feed him. It's not a very fun thing to do, let me tell you."

"It wouldn't be so unpleasant if you did not force Beyond to part-take of your cooking, sister, and just let him eat his jam instead." Beyond pointed out.

"But that's not good for you!" Samantha said exasperatedly.

"Just get on with the questions, yeah?" Kanki requested.

"Yeah, yeah…" Samantha said with a sigh. "Will do… 'Samantha: How's your head?' Oh, it's fine now, thanks for asking! 'Are the classes/exams at Wammy's hard?' Well, it depends on what class you're in, and what your talent is, really. See, classes like Russian, Indonesian, or other language classes, as well as my math courses are easy for me, but I have to work hard in things like history and literature and the sort. It's nothing like it is for the top three, really. The rest of us are pushed but not overwhelmed, so it really isn't that bad. 'Who do you prefer; Near or Mello?' … I have to choose? I don't think I could! Sheep-san and Second are both wonderful boys. I couldn't pick favorites! How could you ask such a thing?"

"I think Mello's better." Kanki responded. "Personally. He's just… more awesome. I mean, really: a smexy blonde chocoholic with an affinity for guns, who thinks first and acts after or a paraplegic albino kid who eats his toys? Smexy blonde chocoholic all the way!"

"No one asked you!"

"Yeah, but I answered anyway. Watcha gonna do about it, hmm?"

"Lock you out again."

"… you wouldn't!" Kanki scrambled out of her blanket and clung to Beyond for protection from his sister.

"I would. I have. I will." Samantha stood up and took a step toward the girl.

"EEP!" Kanki squeaked, clinging harder to Beyond before a fit of coughing forced her to let go.

"Sister?" Beyond asked, looking at the strange girl who had just let go of him instead of at the one he was addressing.

"Yes, Beyond?"

"Can you stop harassing our guest and continue with the letter."

"… you really are on her side!"

"No, Beyond is on jam's side. Now if Samantha would please continue…?"

Samantha sighed. "Fine, fine… 'Kanki: I feel like irritating Samantha, so I'll say this;' WHAT? I refuse to read this any further!" she threw it at the ground.

Beyond reach forward and plucked the paper up. "Then I suppose I should continue, yes?" he looked to Kanki, who nodded. "Right then… '*ahem* You are totally awesome! You are like SUPAH special awesome! Best author in the world! I hope this boosts you already incredible large ego :)' … Kanki-chan does not have a very large ego, Cloud-san. In fact, she's rather prone to having an incredibly thin skin and being filled with self-doubt."

"But thank you berry buch!" Kanki tacked on before sneezing twice loudly. "It's very appreciated, though you stole Yugi's line there… Feels nice to be called super special awesome! If Kanki didn't feel so bad she'd do a happy dance!" She smiled at the camera while pulling her blanked back up around her shoulders and leaning into Beyond with a light yawn.

"Cloud-san is not done with her letter." Beyond said, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at Kanki, who was rapidly falling asleep against his side before returning his attention to the writing. "She says… 'Sorry for asking so many questions, but it's fun :3

{~*Cloud*~}

p.s. I LUFF U BEYOND'" He paused and looked up at the camera. "Please do not be sorry, Cloud-san. We enjoy answering your questions –" at this comment, Samantha – who was sulking to the best of her ability – snorted loudly "– and hope you will send more. I appreciate your love very much, though I am afraid I will not be able to return your feelings in any other way than as a friend."

"Keh, he's just being nice." Samantha snapped. "You clearly do not know what you're talking about, Cloud, if you think that Kanki is in anyway talented. Little freak writer." She growled, glaring at Kanki who was now fast asleep against her brother, who looked like he didn't know what to do with the fun-sized female who had attached herself to him.

"Samantha should be quiet." He advised in a low voice. "Kanki-chan is trying to sleep."

"I don't have to be quiet if I don't want to be. Let her wake up. Maybe then she'll go to her own home!" Samantha replied.

"I don't think she can go home like this, sister. Beyond votes that we let Kanki-chan stay for now. After all, it is Samantha's fault that Kanki-chan is sick in the first place."

"What? No it's not! She could've gone somewhere else instead of sitting outside our door sniveling for six hours!"

"Samantha…"

"I don't want her staying with us."

"…Please?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because she's an annoying twit!"

"But…"

"No!"

"Even if Beyond agrees to eat 'real food' once a week?"

Samantha stood there, chewing on her lip for a moment. "… Fine. She stays." She agreed at last before turning to the camera. "But don't think that this means that any of YOU people can come and live in my house, got that?" she snapped before clicking the camera off.