The next morning, Santana woke up deliciously wrapped around Brittany. She lifted her head slightly off Brittany's good shoulder to make sure her arms weren't adding pressure to any of Brittany's injuries. When she was sure she wouldn't aggravate any of Brittany's injuries, she rested her head back on Brittany's shoulder. She doesn't know how early it is but it doesn't matter because there's no where she has to be and no where she rather be than with Brittany's arm around her. She internally groans at her own sappiness.
Focusing on the slight movement of Brittany's chest caused by her shallow breathing, Santana wonders why she has never done this before. She feels so... She actually doesn't know what she feels laying in bed with Brittany because she's never felt like this before. Perhaps she feels inexperienced? Immature? Anxious? Or maybe it's just a good thing? She laughs at herself, it's always good when she's with Brittany.
She's never cuddled with anyone – unless she counts Quinn when she and Rachel broke up for a total of 53 hours, which she doesn't – so this is a whole new ballpark for her. She never knew it could feel this good. Maybe it only feels this good because of Brittany.
This new "relationship" territory she basically pushed herself into with Brittany, she regrets not letting herself get experience at being with someone. That is, she wishes she knew how to be more than just a fuck buddy. For Brittany's sake. Without any experience, she's bound to make a couple mistakes. Mistakes that could really hurt Brittany. Mistakes that could make Brittany leave her.
Hindsight is 20/20 but it happened. She needs to charge it to the game and do what she needs to do to protect Brittany. She thinks back to what happened yesterday and instinctively holds Brittany tighter.
"Wait, too much!" Brittany gasps as she reaches out to grab Santana's arms.
Santana immediately pulls back, "Britt, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry!"
Brittany shakes her head and pulls Santana back into her. "No, it's okay. You scared me more than anything. One minute, I was petting the snake and there was a dingo and then the snake bit me and then I realized it wasn't a python but a tiny, little doctor. It was all very sudden." Brittany explained but smiled gently at Santana. "Can we go back to sleep, San? It's still early, honey."
After leaning up to kiss Brittany's neck, she quietly begins, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I..." She trailed off because she didn't really know how to bring up about what happened yesterday. "I was thinking about yesterday, about how you got hurt and... I just really want you to be okay, Britt. I need you to be okay." Santana said more to herself than to Brittany.
Brittany kissed the crown of Santana's head. "As long as you're with me, I'll be okay. I just know it. I feel it in my bones."
Neither Brittany nor Santana said anything while they were in bed. Santana was thinking about how she needed to call the building's security center and have them arrest all tall, white, blonde men that were near the building. While Brittany silently prayed that Santana would never get hurt again.
"I have to go get LT and some groceries. I totally don't have enough food for you." Santana announced, breaking the silence while shifting to look at Brittany.
"Can I go with you?"
"No. I don't want you to leave the house building until Sam gets arrested." Instantly Brittany pouts.
"Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. Britt, as a doctor, I need you to keep the walking to a minimum. Unless you're walking to different parts of the house, you need to be laying or sitting down, occasionally leaning into the pain." She pauses to sit up and gives Brittany a kiss on her forehead. "But as someone who really cares about you, I need you to be safe. I don't trust anything I can't control. The only thing I can control right now is here. If you're here, I can keep people out. If you're not here, you're fair game and that shit doesn't fly with me. I need you to be safe." Santana completely understood that Brittany must be going stir crazy but it kept her safe.
"Okay, fine. My purse is somewhere around here. Just grab whatever card or cash to buy whatever you need and whatever I might want. Hint, lots and lots and lots of chocolate." Brittany demanded of Santana while she was getting up.
"Maybe a little bit of chocolate, but I'm not going to take your money, baby." Santana said as she made her way to her closet. "You're my guest. My momma taught me manners. Aaand, you're going to be out of commission for a while so I'm not going to let you spend your money on unnecessary shit. Not if I can help it." Santana stated as she kissed Brittany once more.
"You've been buying me food since day one, you're opening your home to me and you're my personal physician. Aaand, let us not forget about your extensions. I'm sure they're pricey to fix. Maybe you should be saving your money?" Brittany slightly teased.
"Fuck, that's right. I usually go get them touched up whenever Quinn goes to make sure she stays a 'natural blonde'." Santana huffed as she finished putting on her shirt. "Actually, it's fine. I don't need the extensions anymore. I already got the girl, I can let myself go now." She winked at Brittany. She was only kidding. If anything, she would fix her weave to look smokin' just forBrittany.
"Oh, I see how it is. Now that you got me in your bed, there's no more effort?" Brittany replied. She saw that Santana was going to say something but cut her off. "Please, just do it for me." Brittany pulled out the pout she quickly discovered was impossible for Santana to say no to.
Santana knew there was no winning. She'll just take the card and cash and pretend to use them. She finished getting ready and with another kiss from Brittany, she was out the door to bring home a cat and some food.
She took a detour to the security desk to tell them the changes she needed made to the building's security and tried to demand they aggressively, perhaps violently, detain any males that fit Sam's description but was quickly informed of the potential lawsuits. Security suggested that they program the elevators so only those with an access code could even get to her floor.
She authorized all changes and told them to inform the residents that the changes would occur at no cost to them. Santana sped to the closest grocery store. Not only did she already start to miss Brittany – pathetically clingy already, how sad – but she also didn't want to be out in public longer than she needed to be.
Luckily she found parking almost right in front of the small grocery store. She grabbed a cart and made her way down the aisles. She hadn't really done groceries in a while and her supply was dwindling because of Brittany. She usually gets take – out or Quinn drops over some leftovers. She only really cooked when she had her family or friends over but she didn't mind cooking for Brittany. Better safe than sorry, she was throwing one of everything in the cart. As she threw in some pickled beets, she heard a car alarm go off. Her car alarm.
Leaving her cart, she ran outside to see that all the tires of her cute, little Italian coupe had been slashed, her windshield cracked and "BITCH" scratched into the hood.
"Fuck."
She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair and turned off the alarm with her keys. This wasn't the first time her car had been vandalized, she wondered who it could have been this time. Someone with no creativity, obviously, because "bitch" had been played out a while ago. Her favorite had been about a year ago. It was some super hot Australian doctor that was in town for a month long conference and somehow Santana ended up with a couple Australian kisses but then bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, her car had "Slutty Cunt, M.D., FACS" spray painted on the side and a potato in her exhaust pipe.
She called a tow truck and instructed them where to take it and that the shop would pay them since they had her card on file. There wasn't much she could do but since she had to take a cab, she went back in and only bought the necessities. She took a cab to Brittany's apartment and easily collected Lord Tubbington. With a bag of groceries in one hand and an oversized cat in the other, she made her way into her apartment.
"Honey, I'm home." She playfully yelled for Brittany. Knowing that Brittany was waiting for her brought a smile to her face. It was nice to come home to someone for a change. She placed the bag on the kitchen counter and leaned down to hold Lord Tubbington while she introduced him to her dog. Just like she suspected, they took to each other and thus the sniffing began.
She stood up and saw Brittany walking towards her. "Hey, you're late. I'm sure after a hard day of bringing home the bacon, you were supposed to greet me at the door with a kiss." Santana smirked as she loosely wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist.
"Sorry, I was in bed and it took me a little bit to roll out. But I can still give you a kiss if you'd like." Brittany softly said as she gently traced the bruises on Santana's neck.
It was obvious that Brittany felt responsible for what happened by the way she was looking at her. Santana didn't want Brittany to feel bad about what happened; it wasn't her fault. "I'll take anything you want to give me, Britt." She whispered before leaning in to kiss Brittany. They had only kissed a couple times but it still gave her the cliched butterflies in her stomach and made her deliciously delirious.
After they broke apart from their kiss, the made their way back to the kitchen. "Sit down, I'll make you something so you could take your meds. Oh, also, don't lift LT up. It'll be bad for you. Don't lift anything up, actually." Santana began to pull everything out of the bag.
"Ok, doctor." She agreed with an eye roll. "What are we going to eat?" Brittany sat on one of the chrome stools at the kitchen counter.
"Well, since I couldn't get all the groceries I wanted, we're kinda' stuck with some plain ol' chicken and rice."
"Why couldn't you get all your groceries? Were my cards declined?" Brittany worried.
"No, not that. It was probably some chick I slept with and never called must've recognized my car parked on the street and she slashed my tires and keyed the car. Same old shit, just a different day." She simply answered as she began to cut some cilantro.
Brittany was worried but she knew it wasn't the first time Santana's car had been ruined.
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry about your whip but I'm glad you're safe, babe." Santana turned around and smiled at Brittany. "Okay, you continue to cook for me like the good, little housewife that you are while I just sit and watch you work up a sweat." She smirked at Santana.
They ate on the couch cuddled up and watching one of Brittany's and surprisingly Santana's childhood favorites, Sweet Valley High. It was a much needed distraction from the day before.
/
A couple mornings after, Santana woke up alone. There was no blonde cuddled into her side. There was no blonde hair splayed all over her face. There was no one with her hand under her shirt subtlety trying to cop a feel.
There was no Brittany.
After wiping the sleep from her eyes, she swung her legs over the side of her bed to get up. She desperately needed to pee so she quickly took a ninja pee because she really wanted to see Brittany. There was nothing cuter than a recently awoken Brittany; her eyes still droopy with sleep, her mumbling, and bed hair were not to be missed. She also brushed her teeth in case she got a little lucky.
As she made her way toward the kitchen, where Brittany's appetite most likely led her, she heard Brittany talking. Santana wondered to whom she would be talking. Work? Maybe her sister? When she got to the kitchen, she saw Brittany slightly hunched over a plate of toast with her phone to her ear.
"No, Amandaaa. I'm fine. I promise I'm fine. You just worry about pushing out your baby." Brittany said and took a bite of toast. "No, I swear. Santana is treating me like a princess. If she were taller, she'd even try to carry me everywhere. She's been the only good thing to come out of this mess I got myself in. She takes care of me." Brittany looked up and smiled sweetly at Santana. "You'll meet her soon, I promise. I have to go but I'll check up on you before you pop him out. Bye, love you, sis."
Brittany put her phone down on the counter. "It's not polite to listen in on people's conversations, Santana." She playfully scolded Santana while slowly inching of the bar stool and walked toward her. "Hey, baby." She greeted Santana while wrapping her arms around Santana's neck, pulling her into a gentle kiss. "Good morning, how are you on this fine day?" Brittany reluctantly let go of her and went to put her plate in the sink.
"I'm horrible. I woke up all alone and then I walk into the kitchen to see that my precious supply of toast is being dwindled by a certain someone." Santana teased and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist when she came back. "But alas, a mere kiss from thy lips shall be the perfect cure for the horrid condition that ails me."
Brittany couldn't help but laugh and lean down to kiss Santana once more. "That's our 17th kiss?" Brittany asks as she Santana nuzzles into her neck.
Breathing in Brittany's scent and loving the warmth surrounding her, Santana cannot picture herself hugging anyone other than Brittany again. "I have no idea but it feels like we've been kissing for years, doesn't it? I think I found my new favorite thing to do." Santana quietly admitted.
"Absolutely."
"How are you feeling? Any new discomfort? Numbness? Difficulty breathing? How's your nausea?" Santana asked in her doctor voice but still keeping a hold on Brittany.
"I'm fine. I was just about to take my meds, including the one for nausea, so hopefully I'll still be nausea free. I really like the new you meds you switched me to. The other ones made me all loopy and sleepy. These make me not feel any pain but I'm still lucid."
Santana pulled back to get a closer look at Brittany's face. "Okay, good. Your lip and eyebrow are looking better. How does your cheek feel?" Santana gently tilted Brittany's face to look at the bruising more clearly.
"I feel pressure but no pain. When are the stitches on the inside of my cheek getting removed? It's annoying." She asked making a face.
"Those don't get removed. Your body will absorb those."
Brittany didn't respond verbally but she did hold Santana tighter and seemingly get lost in her eyes.
"Thank you." Brittany let out as she let out a deep breath.
"For what, baby?" Santana asked confused.
"For being here with me. For holding me at night. For changing my bandages. For giving me sweet lady kisses when I'm sad. For just being with me. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate you and how much I've grown to need you." Brittany's voice began to shake and her eyes watered. She closed her eyes to gather herself. "Damn it, Santana, I'm so sorry. I swear I don't know how he found me." Brittany voices as she gently runs her fingers over Santana's neck, tracing the fading bruises Sam left.
Santana doesn't know what to say to Brittany to get her to understand that she'd do it all over again for her. Without a second thought, she'd do it a million times if she had to. There was just something about Brittany. It could be her eyes, her perfect eyes. Not only were they the most beautiful shade of blue, they were kind and seductive. Her eyes were really the first thing Santana noticed about Brittany, and not just the trauma victim that was brought into the hospital that one night.
"Brittany, I hate that you're going through this, absolutely fucking hate this, but you don't have to worry about thanking me or apologizing. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm not here out of guilt or pity. I want to be with you, I want to protect you. I'll be here for as long as you want me to be." Santana rested her forehead on Brittany's, "Just let me be here, okay?"
Brittany didn't answer, she just kissed Santana. "Okay."
"Good. Did you eat enough or do want me to make you something else?" Santana asked as she carefully wiped away Brittany's tears.
"I'm good, I'll be good to take my meds. Don't worry."
"Okay, good. I'm going to go outside for a quick smoke." Santana pecked Brittany's lips. "I like being able to finally kiss you. The first couple of days were so hard on my lips." Santana giggled as she kissed her again.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, I didn't know you smoked." The blonde asked as she furrowed her brow.
"Well, I usually just stick with cigars but every once in a while I'll smoke a cigarette." Santana answered as she reached for her pack of cigarettes on top of the fridge. "Is that all right?" Santana awkwardly asked, she wasn't used to having to run her decisions through anyone else.
"Uh, yeah, that's fine. I was just a bit surprised because I've never smelled it on you. Go do what you gotta do. I'll be in our bed. I know I laughed at you for getting the new mattress but it's soooo comfortable."
"Told ya' so."
Santana made her way to the balcony and quickly lit up when she was finally outside. She closed her eyes as she let the warm smoke course through her lungs. As she exhaled, she brought her feet up and leaned back into her chair. She needed this cigarette. She needed this to take off the edge. These past couple weeks have been rough. This was too much emotional stress. She hasn't felt this helpless since Quinn had the trouble with the twins' pregnancy.
She has to deal with making sure Brittany doesn't feel responsible for anything Sam has done. She thought that Brittany was holding up better than she really is. Even after constantly telling Brittany how much she cares for her and how she won't leave her, she can tell that Brittany doesn't think she's worth it. But what else can she expect? Brittany's dealt with Sam's bullshit for years, a couple weeks with her isn't going to undo everything. She began to tap her lighter against the patio table she was sitting at.
She took another drag and shook her head. Then, apart from trying to comfort Brittany, Santana's had to deal with this new intimacy she has with Brittany. She loves when Brittany holds onto her as if she was never letting go. She loves it when Brittany holds onto to her as if she couldn't get enough. She loves her warmth and how she breath tickles her neck when they're cuddling. She loves it when she gets to wake Brittany up with butterfly kisses. She loves all that but she's not sure what it all means.
She obviously wants to be in a relationship despite not knowing the protocol. But does Brittany only want her because she's afraid? Does Brittany have feelings for her because she genuinely wants to be with her or because she saved Brittany's life?
As she puts out her cigarette and lights another one, she looks out to the city. She knows Sam is out there. She can feel it. She's not excusing his behavior but she can understand why. As fucked up as Sam is to hurt Brittany like he has, he understands how amazing Brittany is. That's why he's fighting tooth and nail to get her back. She gets that, she really does. Which is why she'll do whatever it takes to make sure she never loses Brittany, regardless of why Brittany has feelings for her.
She taps the lighter on the patio table over and over and over. She chuckles as she thinks about how Brittany teases her whenever they get a little carried with the kissing. Brittany can't have sex and has repeatedly told her during their heart – to – hearts that it's better with feelings. Santana's inclined to agree; everything they've done thus far, as innocent as has been, has been exponentially better than anything else she's done. But it still doesn't stop her vagina from going through withdrawals.
The first time they have sex, or more appropriately make love, it's bound to be perfectly earth-shattering. It has to be, she reasons as she continues to methodically tap the lighter. Their first kiss was one for the record books. Not only was it beautiful, it was amidst the most frightening experience of her life. How something so perfect can come out of something so wrong was beyond her.
She didn't want to think back to Brittany's face when she saw Sam but she knows she'll never be able to forget.
Brittany will always be mine, Doctor Lopez
You can stop playing house now
Santana remembers what Sam spat at her, the venom in his voice echoing in her head.
Brittany will always be mine, Doctor Lopez
You can stop playing house now
She sat and tossed the filter in the ashtray.
Brittany will always be mine, Doctor Lopez
You can stop playing house now
She could feel the bile coming up. He knows her name. He's has to know who she is. Where she is. Where she and Brittany are.
Brittany will always be mine, Doctor Lopez
You can stop playing house now
She got up and ran to her bedroom. She needed to see Brittany. She needed Brittany to calm her down. She needed to tell Nichole.
"Brittany! Baby, where's my phone?" Santana asks as she walks into the room, looking around for her phone.
"I have it." Brittany answers as she holds up the phone. "I was going through the pictures we've taken together. What's wrong?" She sits up and hands Santana the phone.
"Sam knew my name and he said we were playing house. I think he must have been following me. If he was following me, he must know that you're here with me. I don't think we can stay here anymore. I know I said I can protect you but I thought we had secrecy on our side. If he knows where you are, I don't know if I can keep him away from you know. Fuck! How could I forget to mention this! Fuck!" Santana ranted as she walked back and forth in front of the bed.
Brittany didn't say anything. She just stood up and stopped Santana from pacing by wrapping her arms around her. "Breathe, honey. Breathe." Brittany tried to soothe Santana but she began to feel her body shake as she began to sob.
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I can't protect you. I'm sorry. I just want you safe. I can't lose you, I can't." Santana let out between sobs.
Brittany pulled back and cupped Santana's face before crashing their lips together. She poured everything she could into the kiss; gratitude, appreciation, want, need, love, happiness, satisfaction, peace. Everything. When she felt Santana kissing back, she slowly pulled back and waited for her eyes to flutter open.
"Calm down. Nothing's happened. I'm sorry I pulled you into this but as long as we're together, nothing will happen. If nothing else, we have each other. You even said it yourself, this place is a baby Fort Knox. Nothing will happen but let's just tell Nichole. Okay?" Santana nodded and Brittany gave her sweet kiss. "I'm going to get you some water. You call her and tell her what you remembered."
Brittany left Santana and walked to the kitchen, trying to keep her tears at bay. She didn't know what got to her more. Knowing that Sam most likely knew where they were or knowing how much this is affecting Santana. Santana is so much more than just her hero. In the last couple of weeks, Santana's become everything to her. She can't bare to see Santana cry like that.
She takes a couple deep breaths ignoring the throbbing in her ribs and composes herself. She opens the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and heads back to their room.
"... vandalized a few days back. It's in the shop but there's no rush because I don't really need my car now." Santana told Nichole over the phone.
Brittany chastised herself. Of course it wasn't one of Santana's hook ups. How could she not realized it was Sam?
Santana noticed how Brittany's shoulders slumped and figured she must be blaming herself again. She put the phone on speaker and sat on the bed, pulling Brittany into her lap. She gently wrapped herself around the blonde and whispered into her ear, "I'm so glad I met you, baby."
"... unmarked car following you. Don't worry, this might be a blessing in disguise. If he knows where you are, he might lose his patience and try to get you there but he won't get very far before an undercover can get to him." Nichole's voice came through the speaker.
Santana rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder, "Well, what if I don't feel comfortable using Brittany as bait? What if I move us? Will the authorities still provide the same level of security?"
"San, I don't think moving is necessary. He won't attack the building, just you two."
"Well, fuck, like that's any better." Santana said as she rolled her eyes.
"I mean, he isn't the type to learn how to make pipe bombs on the internet and take out your entire apartment building. It's personal so he's seeking a one – on – one interaction. As long as you have a cop a with you, you'll be fine."
"Okay, fine. Brittany and I will talk about it and let you know."
"Sure, San. If you need anything at all, let me know. Bye, San." Nichole says as she hangs up.
"Well, bye to you too, Nichole." Brittany sarcastically says.
"What do you want to do, pumpkin?" Santana asks as she gently kisses Brittany's neck.
"As much as I hate to admit it, the slut's right. Sam is dumb as a bag of wet hair, I don't think he'll figure out how to get up here. But when we have to go out, yeah, I'd like a cop with me." the blonde told Santana as she intertwined her fingers with the ones Santana had on her stomach.
"Okay, we'll stay but I'm getting us private security. I don't trust those pigs anymore. They probably still haven't fired that Puckerman dumbass. We don't have to be anywhere for a few more weeks but we'll start calling around later today, if that's all right with you?"
"Anything you want to do, baby. I trust you with my life." Brittany said as she turned her head to look at Santana.
Santana gently kissed Brittany, pulling her bottom lip in between hers. She moans as she feels Brittany timidly sneak her tongue into her mouth. Their tongues collide and Santana whimpers. Brittany's pulls back only to reposition herself so she's straddling Santana's lap. Ignoring the burning in her ribs and the pressure in her chest, she pulls Santana towards her by the back of her neck, crashing their lips together again. Santana runs her hands up and down Brittany's thighs as Brittany begins to suck on her tongue, making Santana moan and grip Brittany's thighs even harder.
Brittany kisses Santana's jaw as lets her hand wander down her chest and cups Santana's breast.
"Britt." Santana exhales and keeps moving her hands until their running over Brittany's perfect ass.
"I'm so glad I met you too, baby." Brittany breathes next to Santana's ear before sucking on her earlobe. Brittany sneaks her hand under Santana's shirt and slowly runs her nails over Santana's abs, making her shiver. Santana tangles her hand into Brittany's hair, pulling her even closer. "I'm so glad I get to kiss you." Brittany lets go of her lobe and starts to suck on the spot she recently discovered could make Santana purr.
Santana breath hitches and she squeezes Brittany's ass harder. Brittany groans and begins to slowly rock into Santana. "Brittany, you feel so good. Don't stop." Santana husks out.
She feels Brittany's knuckles graze the bottom of her breast. "I won't stop. I can't stop. I'm so glad I get to do this." Brittany says as she roughly squeezes Santana's breast, making her cry out in pleasure. "Do you like that, baby? Do you?" Santana feels Brittany grinding harder and she feels Brittany gently dig her teeth into her neck.
Having the woman of her new found dreams, moving so sinfully in her lap, pinching her nipple so good, made her so wet but she knew she had to stop. Brittany couldn't. The more they continued this, the harder it would be to stop.
"Britt." Santana said as she begrudgingly pushed Brittany back. Brittany's eyes were closed, her hair disheveled and her lips swollen.
"Did I do something wrong?" Brittany asked out of breath when she finally opened her eyes.
"No, trust me, you were doing every thing right. I just didn't want us getting to carried away. You're still healing and I want our first time to be special. I don't want us to make love for the first time because we were trying to find comfort after shit news." Santana confesses as she holds Brittany's hands.
"Aww, who woulda' thought Slutty Santana would want to make love?" Brittany teased.
"Hey, if it were anyone else, it'd be fucking but with you it's making love. Don't get it twisted." the doctor playfully glared at Brittany.
"Fine. But just so you know, it doesn't matter if our first time is in a five star hotel over – looking the Riviera or in a yacht in the middle of the ocean or at Motel 6 a couple miles out of town. All that matters is that it's you and me. Just us. You're right though, now that I've calmed down a bit, my chest hurts."
"Well, that's what you get when you think with your pussy."
Brittany was just about to respond when Santana's phone went off. Brittany answered it thinking it'd be Nichole. "Hello."
"Santana?"
Brittany didn't recognize the voice so she quickly looked at the phone to see who it was.
Mamí.
She looked up to see Santana mouth "who is it?"
"No, Dr. Lopez. It's Brittany." Brittany answered and Santana's eyes widen in realization.
