Meet the Godparents

A/N & Disclaimer – First, the disclaimer. I don't own the Harry Potter universe. JK Rowling does. And I'd like to thank her for giving the world such an interesting place to play.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to bring up a couple of points. I usually don't do long involved author's notes to address questions in reviews, but the newly revamped review process here on where the answers go to the individual but not to the review page, is fairly maddening. Of course, if there's something I'm missing about answering the reviews on the reviews page, then someone please drop me a note.

At any rate, I've received a number of people asking a couple of basic questions so I'm going to address them here. Firstly, this is a Harry/Hermione story. H/Hr. Harmony. Good Ship Pumpkin Pie. Any way you slice it, they're going to be together. For the Harmonians out there, please be patient. It's currently Monday afternoon in the story, by Saturday morning it'll be harmony. For the folks who enjoy canon pairings, try to keep an open mind. Come to the Dark Side – we might be delusional but we have cookies. Pumpkin cookies to be precise.

The second thing is about Molly. At the start of this story, Molly is simply convinced that her vision of 'One Big Happy Weasley Family' is going to come to fruition, and she's happy about it. The reason she isn't throwing a fit over Harry and Hermione bunking together in the Nursery is simple. It never occurs to her that something might happen.

Harry and Hermione have been crashing together down on the davenport because of their nightmares and she's ok with that. If they're platonically together, then she doesn't have to worry about Hermione ending up in Ronald's bed and Harry ending up in Ginny's bed. I'm not certain why she's so certain something's going to happen at the Burrow and not during the school year when she sends her kids off to a castle for ten months of the year that apparently has more unused classrooms than used ones and a broom closet to pupil ration of approximately one to one.

Anyway, Molly's delusional but she has the kid's best interests at heart. As long as they comply with her vision of the future that is. And now, back to our story – a new player has stepped into the wings…


Chapter 7 – Owl Post, the Happy Couple, and Having Kittens

Murder and mayhem were averted by the return of the elder Weasleys and Teddy from Aunt Muriel's. Obviously Aunt Muriel didn't quite understand everything as an owl arrived with a letter for Ginny half an hour later.

The shocked look on her face was a clue that something was amiss, and when she started rolling on the floor, howling with laughter, Hermione picked up the letter and began to read. Turning a shade of scarlet that even Ron never quite managed to achieve, she was totally speechless as Ron began reading the letter over her shoulder.

Mystified, Harry looked from Ginny's helpless hysterics to Hermione's extreme mortification and asked, "Ron, what's so funny, or not so funny depending upon who reads the letter?"

Laughing, Ron sat down and pulled Hermione onto his lap. He started to answer, but the glare on Hermione's face immediately quieted him. Looking to Gin, gasping for air on the floor, he shrugged.

"Harry, it's priceless. Muriel sent me a letter to cheer me up because…" Breaking down into laughter, tears streaming down her face, she couldn't complete the sentence.

Finally, Hermione found her voice. "Ronald, we are never going to that woman's house again. And on top of everything else, she hasn't seen me in almost a year and I'm still 'that girl with the skinny ankles'. Honestly." Kicking up her legs until they stuck straight out, she glared at Harry. "Do those look like skinny ankles to you?"

Completely baffled, Harry thought for a moment trying to puzzle out where all of this was leading.

"Hermione, you have very nice ankles, they're really quite shapely. But why would Muriel need to cheer Ginny up because she thinks your ankles are disproportionate?"

Reflexively ducking at the look Hermione gave him, he retreated to where Gin was trying to stand. Giving her a hand up, he tried to kiss her and she put up a hand to ward him off.

"Just one second there, Harry. I don't think I should be letting the ex-boyfriend who got the girl with the skinny ankles pregnant kiss me. Aunt Muriel assures me there are much more suitable and faithful young wizards out there."

Sinking back to the floor, she collapsed into another fit of laughter. Looking stunned, Harry looked back over at Hermione, who was blushing furiously and attempting to grab the letter from Ron.

At that moment, Molly came back into the sitting room. Looking around, she saw Ginny helpless with laughter on the floor, Harry standing with a gobsmacked look on his face in the middle of the floor, and Ron laughing while trying to keep a piece of parchment from a furiously blushing and obviously angry Hermione.

"What in Merlin's name is going on in here? Have you all lost your minds?"

Ron handed the letter to his mother, and was able to gasp out, "Letter from Aunt Muriel" before Hermione growled at him, got up hurriedly, and then retreated to a seat on the other side of the room.

Reading the letter, Molly's eyes got progressively bigger the further down the parchment she got. Shaking her head, she turned and stuck her head into the hall leading to the kitchen.

"Arthur, we have to go back to Muriel's right this second. She thinks Harry and Hermione had the baby and she's advising Ginny on how to get over him. We have to stop her before she owls the rest of the family."

Looking around, she saw Muriel's owl calmly sitting on the windowsill, eating owl treats.

"Don't let that bird leave, who knows where its next stop is." Walking over, she made gentle noises as she relieved the bird of three more letters.

"George, Minerva, and one to Harry addressed for Grimmauld Place. If that bird wasn't as senile as Muriel, you'd have gotten your letter when Ginny got hers."

Taking the other two and putting them in her pocket, she absentmindedly handed the one addressed to Harry to him as she turned back towards the passageway leading towards the kitchen.

"We'll have to go back and see her, and try to head off any more letters. No telling whom she's talked to via floo."

Looking very flustered, she headed out into the kitchen, yelling for Arthur to hurry up.

Looking at the envelope, Harry noted with relief that the envelope wasn't red. Feeling a subtle tug of magic to the envelope, Harry recognized it as a charm that Hermione had used a couple of times during school to make certain notes that she had left for him in the common room were given to him.

Seeing that the letter was addressed simply to, 'Harry Potter, 12 Grimmauld Place, London', it looked innocuous enough. Deciding that he really didn't have anything to fear from Ginny's aunt other than a good telling off, he took a deep breath and looked up over at Hermione who was still glaring at everyone.

"At least it's not a howler."

Smiling wanly at the look Hermione directed at him, he retreated to a chair to find out what Ginny's oldest living relative had to say about his supposed misdeeds.

Opening the letter, two sheets of parchment fell out; one addressed to Harry, the other was sealed with wax and addressed simply to 'Hermione Granger'. Shrugging, he started to read.

Dear Harry,

From what Arthur and Molly have told me, congratulations are in order. I can understand why you let them bring the baby by; situations like this are a bit unusual. I now understand why you broke up with Ginevra last spring. I wrote her a letter trying to console her, as she is still very taken with you.

I hope your young lady won't take offense, but I did compare her unfavorably to Ginevra in the letter to try to make her feel a bit better about herself. I remember your young lady from the wedding and a couple of other family gatherings, she is a very charming young witch and I could see that the two of you were very taken with each other at those earlier gatherings. I'm sorry you couldn't be there for the wedding, even though the reception ended a bit abruptly.

Arthur and Molly seem very supportive; they assured me that they still consider the two of you as part of the family. I hope you and your young lady are very happy together, and I would be honored if you could remember an old woman when the two of you finally do marry.

I know that the two of you, along with Ronald, were very involved with all of the things that happened this last year and from what Minerva tells me, you both are very admirable young people. I've enclosed a letter for your young lady, I'd like to congratulate her and give her some advice about dealing with Ginevra. She's a dear child who unfortunately takes after her mother. She's a bit high strung and she tends to think with her wand first.

Please feel free to come by the house with Hermione and the baby anytime. I hope the two of you find Grimmauld Place to your liking, I remember the house well from the days when I was still on speaking terms with the Black family.

Personally, I'd pitch everything in there and start from scratch, but I was never fond of "Early Slytherin" as a motif.

Don't tell Ginevra that I think you've made the right decision; she's very sensitive and won't take it well. I'm going to speak to Augusta about her grandson on Ginevra's behalf. I think he would be a very suitable match for Ginevra, and I understand he is a friend of yours and Hermione's.

Warmest Regards,

Muriel Crouch

p.s. I also mentioned this to Hermione, but the next time the two of you are in Hogsmeade, would you please mention to Aberforth that seventy years is a bit long to carry a grudge, even for a Dumbledore, and it would be nice if he would call on an old friend. M.E.C.

Dumbstruck, Harry stared at the parchment in his hand. The letter to Hermione lay in his lap, sealed with a small blob of wax. Snickering, Ron was watching Harry while Ginny continued to laugh on the floor and Hermione glared from her chair across the room.

"What did she have to say to you, Harry? Reading you the riot act for cheating on Gin and taking up with Hermione?"

Eyes glittering, Ron smirked at the gobsmacked expression on his friend's face.

Getting no response from Harry, he muttered 'Accio Harry's letter' and the parchment sailed out of Harry's grip and across the room. At that, Harry looked over at Hermione and held up the sealed parchment.

"She has a letter for you." Not even cringing at the look she gave him, he just held it out.

"What, she wants to comment on my ankles first-hand? What other physical deficiencies has she catalogued?" Shaking her head, she pulled out her wand. "Why would I ever want to read anything that woman wrote to me?"

Whistling, Ron shook his head in disbelief as he read Harry's letter.

"Well, for one thing Herms, Muriel thinks you and Harry are just about perfect for each other and she's very happy for the two of you."

Silence came over the room as Ginny suddenly stopped laughing and stared at her brother in disbelief.

"Don't fret Gin; she's working to fix you up with Neville."

Trying not to laugh at the gobsmacked look on his sister's face, Ron held up the letter and chuckled.

"I think this is the crown on the Aunt Muriel is batty story. Though she does have Ginny pegged pretty well. I imagine that she'd be hexing everything in sight if you two ran off together."

Shaking his head, he folded the letter and with a flick of his wand, sent it wafting back to Harry.

Hermione quickly accioed the letter Harry was holding for her before anyone could intercept it. Breaking the seal, she quickly scanned the page of carefully written script. Chuckling to herself, she looked up at Harry and mouthed "Aberforth?" before returning to the letter.

As she finished, she carefully refolded the letter and placed it in front of her. Making a complicated pass over the letter with her wand, it began to glow with a pale blue light, gave a sudden twitch, and disappeared.

"Not going to share your fan mail from Muriel?" Ginny asked crossly

Smiling, Hermione shook her head. "It's nothing important Gin, although she did mention the fact that my ankles aren't skinny, thank you very much." Turning to look at Harry, she winked so Ginny couldn't see it.

"How soon are we going to take Teddy to visit Muriel again? I think Muriel's fond of him."

Jumping to her feet, Ginny marched over to Harry.

"May I please see that letter?" she demanded, holding out her hand imperiously.

Holding the letter in his hand, Harry looked at it thoughtfully.

"Gin, Muriel's just a bit confused about the situation with Teddy." Harry was cut off by a snort from Ron's direction.

"Nuttier than squirrel poo is the phrase you're looking for Harry." Ron shifted himself to get a better view of the upcoming showdown between his sister and best mate.

Flashing Ron a glare, Harry looked back up at his girlfriend and smiled.

"Ginny, you have your own letter from Muriel…."

"Which you're more than welcome to read while I'm reading how she's setting you up with Miss 'My ankles aren't skinny' over there." Glaring at Hermione, she momentarily forgot about Harry.

"Why am I being fobbed off on Neville?"

Smiling coyly, Hermione paused to think.

"Probably because you're the one Harry sort of cheated on while he was getting me pregnant. She thinks Neville is a nice safe choice who won't treat you as shabbily as Harry does." Grinning at the horrified look on Harry's face, Hermione started laughing.

"You think it's funny? And what do you mean 'sort of cheated on'?"

Chiming in, Ron smirked, "Well, he did break up with you a year ago, so it wouldn't really be cheating on you. What I want to know is why she isn't trying to fix me up with anyone. I'm the other one who gets dumped in this whole pregnant Hermione story."

"Oh grow up Ron, obviously you never got up enough nerve to ask her out since she was pregnant with Harry's baby. And besides, Muriel probably thinks you're still snogging Lavender in every broom closet you two can find." Clearly less angry as the conversation has gotten more ridiculous, Ginny turned back to Harry.

"Sweetie, can I please see the letter?" Giving him her best 'I'm way too cute to say 'no' to' look, Ginny batted her eyes and held out her hand again.

"Harry, don't do it. If she sees it, I won't get to wear Muriel's tiara at our wedding."

Laughing, Hermione accio'd the parchment out of Harry's grasp and caught it neatly. Repeating her earlier maneuver with her wand, the letter disappeared.

Blinking in amazement, Ginny began laughing again. She collapsed onto Harry's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ron began laughing, as he stood up and came over to where Hermione was sitting.

Sliding into the seat beside her, he kissed her warmly and whispered something in her ear. Blushing furiously, Hermione stared at him in shock and said, "Ronald, it's going to be a very long time before you're going to have to worry about that after that remark." in an icy tone that stopped everyone in the room dead. Very abruptly she stood up and glared at him.

Stammering, Ron blushed and turned an extreme shade of red and shook his head.

"Herms, you know I didn't mean anything when I said that. I'm sorry you took it the wrong way."

Staring in disbelief, Ron watched his girlfriend storm towards the door. Molly and Arthur came in just as she reached the door.

"I'll take Teddy up to the nursery and put him down for a nap so he's not annoyed by certain parties."

Gently cradling the baby in her arms, she gave him a tender kiss before sending a final glare in Ron's direction. Striding determinedly up the steps, she disappeared from view.

Molly rounded on her youngest son. "Ronald, what did you do to distress that girl?"

"Why does everyone always assume that it was me that upset her? It could have been Muriel's letter or the fact Harry got her pregnant that's got her upset."

"Ronald, be serious. She's almost never upset with Harry." Looking faintly flustered, Molly stared at Harry for a moment before turning her attention back to her youngest son.

"It's bad enough that Muriel's still confused. We've managed to convince her to not send out any more letters, but she did floo Augusta so I'm certain we'll have to sort out Neville at some point." Shaking her head, Molly sighed as she looked him.

"Never mind what you did, you should be thinking of a way to apologize to her at some point when she calms down enough to listen to you." Molly looked over at her daughter, sprawled all over Harry's lap and frowned.

"Ginevra, you should be upstairs seeing if your best friend is ok, not lolling all over Harry like a cat." Pointing towards the stairs, she continued to stare disapprovingly at the two.

"I'll be up in a second to talk to her about something regarding the baby, go see if you can get her calmed down enough to listen before I get there."

"Muriel's still convinced that you and Hermione are Teddy's parents." Looking a bit bemused, Arthur smiled apologetically at Harry.

"The best we could do was convincing her that Andromeda has somehow decided to raise the baby so that the two of you can go on with your lives. She's very disappointed but she can understand it, given your ages."

Looking very tired, Arthur sat wearily on the divan. "Princess, please go upstairs so your mother and I can talk to Harry for a second before she has to come up and talk to Hermione about something. You can come back down when your mum gets up there."

Making a small shooing motion, Arthur closed his eyes as Ginny slowly got up from Harry's lap and walked towards the steps. Stopping with her foot on the bottom riser, Ginny looked over her shoulder.

"Harry, if they start trying to plan a hurried wedding between you and Hermione, I think you should realize that firmly falls under Rule Number One." Smiling sweetly, she blew him a kiss and hurried up the stairs.

Standing up and heading for the kitchen, Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"I know, make myself scarce and figure out a way to get back in Hermione's good books before she decides I'm hopeless." Stopping at the door, he looked back at Harry.

"Any advice mate?"

"Since I don't know what you said, and I don't want to know what you said, I'd be only guessing. If you hurry, you could pop over to Diagon Alley and get her something as a peace offering. She was eyeing a copy of the new edition of the ancient runes syllabary the other day. You were there, so you could make it appear as if you noticed. It was on a table by the checkout." Frowning at his best mate, Harry resisted the feeling of déjà-vu at cleaning up after yet another misstep on Ron's part.

"Thanks mate." Looking dejected, Ron pushed the door open, heading to the kitchen.

Noticing a flesh colored string running back up the stairwell, Harry resisted the urge to chuckle. Looking over at Molly standing there staring at where her son had disappeared to, he turned his attention back to Arthur.

"She'll forgive him in a couple of days, more or less. She'll appreciate he asked what he should do to make it up to her, so that'll go for his credit. They'll be fine, eventually."

Looking worried, he asked, "Is this something I should be standing or sitting for?"

"Sitting will do, Harry." Gesturing towards the chair he had just vacated, Arthur smiled reassuringly. As they seated themselves, they could hear the giggles of Hermione and Ginny coming down the stairwell. "It sounds as if things are going all right up there with the ladies."

"Teddy is probably being himself and they're marveling over him. He seems to have that effect on witches, doesn't he?" Smiling towards Molly, Harry tried not to smirk at the look she gave him in return.

"Harry, remember, the older a boy gets, the less cuteness will count. You're old enough where you're not quite as cute as Teddy is." Looking resigned, Molly started in with her explanation.

"What we need to talk with you, briefly, also concerns Hermione. But since she has insisted that any decisions that involve Teddy will involve both of you equally, I thought we'd start by bringing you up to speed." Trailing off, Molly looked over to Arthur for him to continue.

Looking distinctly embarrassed, Arthur blushed and nodded for Molly to continue. Sighing in exasperation, muttering 'Men' under her breath, Molly shook her head and looked back at Harry.

"I know you haven't been exposed to many babies Harry, what do you know about the feeding of infants?"

"I remember Aunt Petunia complaining about the cost of formula and the number of bottles that I went through every so often, but that's really about the extent of it. I've never been around a baby for very long. I do know that Andromeda sent Teddy with a number of bottles, but I don't imagine they'll last very long."

"Well yes, that's a start. Using bottles and formula potions are one method, but it's one that's not used very often in wizarding households. At least not on a long term basis." Looking to Arthur, she glared at him before turning her attention back to Harry.

"However, most witches that are new mothers prefer to use an older, more natural method." Noting that Harry was still looking mystified, she closed her eyes in frustration.

"Harry, you spent time with Arabella, didn't you?" Arthur chimed in, hoping to help. Noticing the blank look on his face, he amended.

"Mrs. Figg, your neighbor?" Seeing him nod, he continued. "You remember her cats, don't you?"

"Of course," Harry smiled, "I don't think I'll ever forget her cats. I think she had set most of them to watching me that one summer. Why?"

"Well, did any of them ever have kittens while you were there?"

Furrowing his brow, he thought. "I think that Snowy had a litter of kittens the year I was eight. What's this got to do with Teddy? Are we thinking about getting him a kitten? I think he's a bit too young for that." At that moment, the sound of another round of giggles drifted down the stairwell.

Shaking his head, trying not to smile, Arthur continued, "No Harry, but do you remember Snowy feeding her kittens?"

"Well yes, it was a bit fascinating when I was eight. What's this got to do with…" Breaking off, Harry started blushing furiously.

"Oh."

"Well, yes. 'Oh' is as good a word as any." Looking back to Molly, Arthur smiled and nodded for her to pick up the discussion.

"That's what I was trying to get to. That's the other method for feeding a baby that is usually preferred."

"I don't think either Hermione or I are exactly set for that. I mean, I know that Hermione is, but since she wasn't pregnant, she's not set up for that, is she?" Blushing and looking perplexed, Harry was trying to figure out what they were getting at.

"Almost every witch is 'set up' for that Harry, but if she's not the birth mother, there is a spell and a potion that will allow her to nurse the baby. That's the decision that you and Hermione need to make, whether you're going to continue with the bottles and formula potion or whether you're going to decide to have Hermione nurse Teddy." Rolling her eyes at Harry's reaction, she looked over to Arthur in frustration.

Blushing furiously, Harry closed his eyes. "I think this would really be a decision that Hermione would have to make, since it would affect her."

"That's where you're wrong Harry. This is a decision that will affect Teddy's well-being and so it's a decision that the two of you need to make together." Looking at him curiously, Arthur smiled.

"This is part of what having a partner and being a parent is all about."

Opening his eyes, Harry looked thoughtful. "Which choice is better for Teddy?"

"Both methods will suffice, but nursing is almost always better for the child." Smiling approvingly, Molly answered. "It allows the baby to bond with the mother and helps to make them a part of the family. It's an instinct that all babies have and most witches."

"Well, this is something I'm certain we'll discuss, but I know which way Hermione will want to go. She's fairly determined and if it's better for Teddy, that's what we'll decide. Which is what I want, so I suppose we're set then."

Nodding at Molly as she got up to go upstairs and discuss the matter with Hermione he looked over to Arthur who was nodding encouragingly to him.

As Molly reached the stairs, Harry stopped her with a question.

"When we decide to do this, is there anything I have to do to help?"

Laughing, Molly started up the steps. Calling over her shoulder, she advised, "Just try not to stare dear and you'll be a big help."


minor editing to correct typos 8/9/2011. thanks to alix33 for the catch