Author's Note: This is a short one, because I know I won't have much time the coming days to write more I thought I'd at least give you what I have. Not a very exciting chapter but I hope you like it nonetheless. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed or alerted/favorited this story so far. Please R&R!
The Words 7
Resolutions, part II
'How do you know where I live, anyway?'
She looked at him curiously, wondering just how prepared he was and how many strings he had pulled to get the information he seemed to have.
'Oh, I have my ways,' he answered. 'Wasn't too much trouble once I located you.'
'It's dangerous, Booth, you shouldn't have come.'
He sighed and looked at her. 'How many times are you going to say that? I wanted to come so here I am, deal with it.'
'I'm going to say that as many times as I want, Booth. You shouldn't have come.'
He dropped it because he knew she wouldn't buckle. 'Fine. How have you been?'
'Fine, we spoke on the phone not too long ago and not much has changed since. A few difficult identifications but other than that, it's fine.'
He nodded. 'Good.'
She looked at him, and he saw it but didn't show it. He kept his eyes on the road, they were almost at her place. She kept watching him and when he turned into a parking space close to her door, she seemed to wake up from her musings and suddenly looked nervous.
'Well, we're here, come on, let's go inside,' Booth said, getting out of the car and walking over to the passenger side. His plan had been to open the door for her but she was already out, not needing or wanting his help at this point.
'So why exactly did you come here?' she asked, once they were inside and settled on her couch with a beer.
'I wanted to give this to you myself. It's just a short one, but it'll do,' he said, digging in his bag for the envelope. He handed her the letter and she looked at him. 'Still, I think you could just have posted it.'
'But I didn't want to. Read it.'
She suddenly felt self-conscious, because his earlier letters had had the power to reduce her to a pile of emotional goo. 'I'll read it later, tell me, how is everything back home?'
'Come on, read it. It's kind of important that you know before we talk.'
'Did something happen?'
He shook his head. 'It's nothing like that. It's just.. Some answers to the questions you had. Read, I'll look around here for a bit and unpack some stuff. Give you some space.'
She nodded, grateful for his understanding but also a bit apprehensive. This emotional connection with Booth was fine the way it was. Would it really work if they were in an intimate relationship? And what if she made him work so hard and ended up disappointing him anyway? Yes, the insecurities were back. Only now she wasn't sure she'd be able to hide them from Booth, because not only had he read all of her feelings for him in her letters, he had also been exposed to this side of her that she hadn't really shown to anyone. It would be difficult to hide it from him again, if not impossible.
Booth walked around her apartment. It was small but nice, wooden floor and a separate kitchen and guestroom. He got his bag from the living room, casting a look at Bones who seemed to be reading his letter. He put his stuff in the guestroom, realizing he had no idea how long he would be staying. He had packed for a few days, but only because he hadn't dared to hope for her acceptance in the first place.
Brennan read his letter, afraid of looking where Booth was because she knew he would see her weakness in her eyes. His words were supposed to soothe her and make her more comfortable opening up to him but they did the opposite. What did he want her to say, do? She didn't know how to deal with this. Throw some scientific problem her way and she'd solve it in a sec, but this was way different. She finished reading and decided to do as he said, ask him her questions.
'Booth.'
He heard her calling to him, and he came walking out of the guestroom. 'Hey, you done reading?'
'Yeah,' she answered. 'Thank you, you were right, it's short but to the point. I can appreciate that.'
'Great. Tell me what's on your mind.'
She gestured for him to sit down next to her and he did. She shifted on the couch, so that she was facing him.
'I do have some questions.'
'Good, ask me. Just ask.'
He saw her hesitate. 'Come on, Bones. This is why I'm here, I thought you might accept what I say when I say it to you like this. You can doubt what I write because it's passive, you know. But I need some help here. Can't help you if I don't know what's bothering you.'
'I also think our friendship is very strong. But what if we destroy that? When we start a relationship, and our dynamic changes, and our friendship can't coexist with our relationship?'
He smiled at her. 'I thought about that. But you know what, we're already together in every way but one. We care about each other, we admitted our feelings for each other, and I thought maybe yours had changed, but now I know they haven't, and I know mine haven't changed, they've only grown stronger. We've seen so much together and we've made it through it all together, we're just meant to be. And before you say it, I know you don't believe in that. But look at the evidence.'
'The evidence states we are able to handle a lot of pain, you're right,' Brennan said. 'But a sexual relationship would make us both more vulnerable.'
'Don't call it that, a sexual relationship, please,' Booth said, half serious. 'It'll be so much more. And we won't be more vulnerable, we'll be stronger. You'll be there for me to lean on and I'll be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. You don't have to pretend anymore, we can be vulnerable to each other and that will help us be stronger, you know?'
She looked at him, a slight frown. 'I'm not sure I understand.'
'You will, in time, you will,' he said. She looked at him a little longer, then looked down. 'I'm willing to accept your reasoning.'
'Good.'
He saw her looking down at her hands, something bothering her. He thought he knew what it was.
'And I know you're afraid of being vulnerable, especially with someone you love because you think they will abandon you anyway. But I won't. Hey, look at me,' he said, taking her chin in his hand and directing her eyes to his.
'I'm staying.'
She nodded. 'Ok.'
He nodded back. 'Ok. Good.'
She stood, escaping from his grasp on her face. 'Would you like something to eat? It's close to dinner time anyway. I have some rice prepared, only needs warming up.'
He knew she was trying to build the confidence to address more difficult matters with him, and he let her. 'Yeah, sounds great. Need help?'
'You can get the table ready, please,' she said, grateful for his help. She turned to the fridge to take out the food and she started moving around in her kitchen.
Booth took that moment to look at her, really look at her. She had changed here. She looked almost the same as she had when he had first met her. Her figure had changed slightly, it had changed a lot in the year he knew her. She'd been thinner a year or so into their partnership, and he had worried that she wasn't getting enough sleep or food, so he had started taking care of her by bringing by food more regularly.
She was back to her beautiful curvy figure, but it was more toned than before she'd left. Also her hair was back in the high ponytail she'd worn in their first year together. It made her look younger, and it looked cute. He guessed it was also more practical.
Her skin had a glow to it, not really a tan but a glow. He wondered if she'd been outside a lot, she must have been.
It was a homely sight, seeing her pad around on flipflops around her kitchen.
She caught him looking at her and she frowned. 'Are you ok?'
'Yeah, Bones. Sure, fine. So. Plates?' He blushed a little, and he wished a hole would appear in the ground to swallow him whole.
'Cabinet under the stove, yeah, that one,' she directed him. 'I'll get the rest.'
She moved to the table, helping him preparing it.
'Would you pour the wine please?'
He nodded. 'Sure.' He couldn't help but feel very happy at the way she was including him in her life immediately. He knew he had a way to go, she wouldn't accept everything just like that, and he knew she was just hiding it from him, but this was a start.
'Bones,' he said. She looked over her shoulder to him. 'Yes?'
'Thanks.'
'For what?' She didn't understand.
'For letting me come here. And help you.'
'You didn't really give me a choice, did you,' she said. 'but you're welcome. I'm glad you're here. I really missed this.'
He walked over to her, making sure to stay at a distance, pretending to check on the rice. 'Me too.'
While he was checking the rice, Brennan checked him. He was standing close, but not too close, knowing she'd appreciate her space. He looked nice, better than when she'd left him to go to Iraq. More relaxed, more at ease with himself. And the shirt he wore accentuated his upper body nicely, she thought to herself. A smile appeared on her face. Maybe this could work, after all.
