You're Gibby the Gib Gibson, and you're jealous of people with more versatile names than yours. Seriously, you're running out of things to do with it here.
You've been passing the time by talking with Caleb, who's helpfully forewarned you of what the next seventy years will hold for America and, more usefully, for you. You haven't heard anything from Sam or Freddie, but Carly came back after about fifteen minutes and muttered something about them "talking it out". Knowing Sam, you're sure there's more physical action than a usual 'talk', but given her recent personality flip you're not sure it'll be her usual fare. You can't help wincing as you imagine her kissing Freddie. Biting his neck like a vampire, maybe, but kissing? On the lips? You still can't fit Sam into that image. Your mind flashes back to the time that Carly and Freddie were dating. That picture seemed to work, but of course that was between two actual... people.
You get drawn back into the conversation as Caleb comes up with another fact. It's hard to imagine a world without California, especially after you visited it only a few weeks ago. Now you think about it, it's lucky it'd still be available for the next thirty years, otherwise the trip could have ended very differently. Of course, Steven's whole 'two states, two girlfriends' shtick would have been a lot less effective if he'd had to spend half his time underwater. Although since Hollywood Arts would be a school for mermaids instead, it would have made the whole episode much more... fun...
"He's not from the future!"
Carly's angry interjection takes you by surprise - not least because he obviously is. It's not like he could just make up so many facts, and since they hadn't happened yet, by definition, he must be telling the truth. Eris quod sum. You're not sure what that phrase actually means, but you've heard Freddie use it and you're pretty sure it's the right one for the moment. The fact that this is the first thing Carly's said in over ten minutes also strikes you as odd. You assumed she'd just been soaking up information as you had been, but clearly she didn't think much of Caleb's lecture, so... what hadshe been thinking about?
...Well, you've never been good at reading other people's minds. You quickly come back with a witty response to Carly's objection ("Is!") before Caleb admonishes you for cheeking "the future Vice President of the United States". This seems to win Carly over, and you can't resist poking her playfully in the stomach. And she doesn't seem to mind. Before you can take things further, Sam appears to drag Carly away (trust her to ruin things) and try to make her escape. But of course mental hospitals have the best security (better than most prisons you've checked out), and before long she's being dragged back to her room, while Carly and Freddie are kicked out.
As you watch your friends being escorted from the hospital, you gradually realise that once again, they've forgotten about you and left you behind. It takes you a few more minutes to realise that you've been abandoned in a mental institution, at which point you beat a hasty retreat before you find yourself locked in.
A day later and once again, you're back at Troubled Waters, this time accompanied by Spencer. Spencer in the guise of Pam Puckett, that is, and frankly you're jealous that he always gets to do the mom disguises. Just once, you'd like the chance to... Never mind. You decide to wait outside as Spencer tries to trick the nurses into releasing Sam, claiming that you're "guarding the car". You're not entirely sure whyyou want to stay outside, but after you left the previous day you found yourself haunted by the memory of some of the patients there. Not that you're scared, just... creeped out a little. And besides, you doubt Sam'd appreciate your presence anyway: she's always treated you as a backup Freddie, someone to beat when he's not around. With a twinge of fear you realise that Freddie has somewhat outgrown the position of Actual Freddie thanks to Sam's feelings for him. Chiz. There is always the chance that Sam will just lay off the violence entirely, but... well, it's less a hobby than a primal urge for her. You don't mean it as an insult, of course - you've learnt not to insult her when she's in earshot - but just as a fact of her being. Her chizzy, screwed-up, demented, hungry being.
A part of you is hoping that someone will see through Spencer's disguise. Not because you don't like having Sam around - she may be a sadist bully with no sense of compassion and a vendetta against anyone with a brain, but still, she is... um. She is... quite... Well, there are always the gaps between the bullying. If there's one thing she's got going for her, it's that she's physically unable to torment everyone 24/7. So far. You're sure she must have someother redeeming qualities, because Carly and Freddie like her, and you don't want to think that they're deluded. Then again, Carly is never a victim of Sam's abuse, and Freddie had always stuck around for Carly. Or at least, you'd thought he had, but your perception of what is had been turned upside down ever since The Kiss. Anything which demanded capitalisation on the word 'the' tended to have that effect on a person's world view.
Half an hour later, and you're sitting on a toilet in a mental institution with a PearPad propped up against the door broadcasting iCarly from two rooms away, waiting for your cue to identify the flavour of sushi with your butt. It's good that everything's back to normal. Or at least, you'd thought it was until Carly brought up the whole 'Seddie' issue on the webshow, since apparently Freddie and Sam had failed to resolve it in the confines of a padded cell (or at least, you assume Sam was in a padded cell. You can't imagine that a regular wall would hold her for very long). Within a few minutes, your world takes another turn as Freddie kisses Sam live on the internet and you finally get an idea of what a Seddie kiss would look like. And maybe the whole thing will be a change for the better. After all, both parties have expressed a definite interest in the other, which experience tells you is a huge bonus to a relationship, and if Freddie and Sam spend more time together, Carly's gonna need someone to hang out with... Yeah. Maybe this time, things'll work out. Of course, it's Sam, and nothing is ever simple when Sam's involved. But maybe that'll make it work. Nobody wants a simple relationship, people want excitement, unpredictability, and no matter how uncaring and cruel she can be, it's exactly what Sam is. Sure, things have changed over the last few days: Brad joined the webshow (although you're not sure if he's quit, since he hadn't turned up today); Sam has been nicer, if only toward Freddie; Freddie has devoted more time to helping Sam than you've ever known him to before; Carly's finally accepted someone as Freddie's girlfriend; hell, even Spencer's changed, what with his book club. But no matter how much things change, there are some things, the core elements of the group, which never will.
The fact that you've been left behind at a mental hospital again is just one of them.
