These five words in my head scream
Are we having fun yet?
Harry lurched awake when a pillow landed on his face. Recovering his glasses, he saw Bill in his doorway.
"Up. We've got work to do."
Harry glanced blearily at the clock. Seven o'clock in the morning. He'd been having the most restful bit of sleep he'd had in, well, he couldn't remember how long and Bill had to wake him. Harry stared at the elder Weasley and made to go back to sleep.
"Uh uh. Up. There's work to be done."
"I'm not your slave. You can't make me do a damn thing."
Bill came in, threw the blanket off Harry and hauled him to his feet.
"I can and I will because you need the physical labor to think and my wife would like to have a good sized flower and vegetable garden. Everyone wins."
"I don't want to think," Harry pulled away from Bill.
"Too bad. It's time you start thinking about someone other than yourself."
Harry glared at Bill Who made him all high and mighty? All I do is think of everyone. Everyone who was lost. They won't leave me alone. The last thing I need is time to think. As those thoughts ran through Harry's mind, Bill crossed the room to the dresser, pulled out some clothes and tossed them to Harry.
"Get dressed then come downstairs for breakfast. If you're not down in ten minutes, I'll come back up here and dress you myself."
"I don't feel like eating."
"Too bad. You're going to eat. You're going to need it."
Harry watched Bill slam the door behind him. Indignant at the way he'd just been treated, Harry stalked around his room, muttering.
"Who does he think he is? He has no right to keep me here, no right to push me around like this. I save their bloody lives and they imprison me!"
Unaware of how much time had gone by, Harry was once again surprised by the bedroom door opening and Bill entering the room. The long-haired redhead wore a disappointed expression before a look of resignation hardened his features.
"I had really hoped I wouldn't have to do this but have it your way."
A quick flick upward with his wand had Harry's sleep shirt peeling upward and over his head. The clean shirt popped itself over Harry's head and fell limply at his sides, trapping Harry's arms As Harry was getting his arms in the correct holes, his widened as he felt his pajama bottoms drop to his ankles and then take his feet out from under him sending him toppling onto his bed. Finally getting his arms through their proper holes, Harry glared at Bill.
"Don't look at me like that. I warned you."
"Fine," Harry muttered. "I can do the rest myself, thank you very much."
Harry swiped the still floating jeans and hurriedly put them on before they were directed, none too gently, onto his body. Socks and his trainers landed next to him and he donned those. Afterward, the pair headed downstairs to the kitchen.
Ginny was finishing up with the pancakes, placing them on the table as Bill and Harry walked in. Charlie was at the table enjoying his breakfast and only glanced quickly up at the pair before turning back to his food. Ginny quietly sighed at the scowl on Harry's" face. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, the skin under them also red edging toward blue. Straigtening her shoulders, she pasted a smile on her face.
"Good morning, Harry. Hope you're feeling up to some pancakes this morning."
"Not particularly no. And it was a good morning until I was rudely awakened."
Despite his words, Harry pulled out one of the chairs across from Ginny and sat. Bill sat next to him, plopped a pancake onto Harry's plate and cutting it in two. Harry watched the entire procedure with no little bit of resentment.
"I can feed myself, thanks," his voice heavily sarcastic.
Bill forked several pancakes onto his own plate before pouring on some maple syrup. He shrugged at Harry's words.
"Sure you can. Just like you've been doing all this time, right? Eat at least one of those halves, preferably all of it."
"You just worry about your own food and let me take care of mine, huh?"
"But you're not, Harry." Ginny spoke quietly.
Harry pinned her with a stony glare. Picking up his fork, he cut a half into two then cut those pieces into halves. Catching one of the resulting pieces on the end of his fork with an angry jab, he shoved it into his mouth. Haltingly, he chewed. As he did so, he noticed a little extra flavor added to the pancakes. Is that...banana? His nose caught up with his taste buds. It is. I can smell it. When he couldn't possibly chew the bite any longer, he swallowed and waited anxiously for what his stomach would do. When it merely gave a small swoop, he took another bite then another until before he'd realized it, his plate was empty.
"Finish your glass of water and we'll get started on our project."
"I'm not a child."
Bill opened his mouth but Charlie beat him to it. "Then stop acting like one."
"Who are you to judge me? How dare you? You know nothing about me! You--"
"STOP IT!" Ginny cried out. "Just stop. Both of you. Harry, you're right. You're not a child and we don't know everything you've gone through but that's you're own doing. You can't shut us out and then yell at us for not knowing what things are like. Let us in so we can understand."
Harry stared at Ginny's flashing brown eyes, face flushed with anger. Yes, she was quite upset but he could also see concern there. Concern for him. She looks so good. She certainly was never one to hide her temper. That spark of life in those honey eyes, those berry lips. I bet they taste just as sweet as they did before. Merlin, I miss running my hands through her hair, all fiery and silky...Wait, what am I thinking? No, I can't think like that. Not anymore. He shook his head to clear it, took another gulp of water and walked out the back door. Charlie, having finished his breakfast, followed him.
"Told you he'd be back to his surly self in the morning," Bill quipped.
Laughing slightly, it relieved the siblings of the mounting tension. As quickly as it had come, however, it fled again to leave the room in silence. Ginny picked at her food. Bill rapidly devoured his before standing. He glanced at Ginny.
"Gin, hang in there. Believe it or not, I could see a bit of the old Harry for a second while he was staring at you. I think you'll bring him around more than me or Charlie. Just be present. Don't overdo it, mind, but don't hide either. A part of him already wants back what he had, trust me."
Ginny sighed. Hearing Bill's words confirmed what she'd thought she'd seen in Harry's gaze. She'd thought his eyes had softened for the briefest of moments but was afraid to hope.
"I know, Bill. I saw it, too but wasn't sure if I was just seeing what I'd wanted to see."
The older Weasley smiled. "Give us a little while to get into a rhythm and then you can come out and wander, join us or whatever. Just know that Charlie and I plan on working Harry fairly hard so he's going to be exhausted and even more surly."
Ginny gave her brother a hug and brief kiss before he walked out the door to join the other two people out at the area that would soon become a garden. Ginny watched him go, even more determined than before. Oh, yeah, I can be present. Harry, you may be stubborn but you've got nothing on a Weasley. Finishing her breakfast, she began to plan.
As Ginny was making her plans for Harry, Bill joined the others on the section of soon-to-be garden.
"Okay, Harry, we need your help in turning the soil within the rock border that's been already laid out."
"What do you need my help for? You have wands. Use them. Better yet, let me have mine so I can use it."
"No can do, Harry. We're doing this Auntie Muriel's way. She swears that by breaking the ground up by hand, you'll get better results."
"That means," Charlie picked up three tools laying nearby and handed one to each of them, "we use shovels."
Harry stared incredulously at the shovel in his hand. How can they possibly think this much ground can be turned using shovels? We'll be out here forever! Uh-uh. No way. I'm not a slave they can just put to work whenever suits their whims.
"You're kidding me, right? You have to be out of your heads if you think that I'm going to–"
"That's right, you're going to," interrupted Charlie, "we're all going to."
"You want to get out of here, don't you, Harry?" Bill asked with a slight smirk. "When the gardens are done, you're free from here."
Harry stared at Bill then Charlie before staring at the two plots of land. He huffed, marched over to a far corner and struck the earth with his spade. Each action of ramming the blade into the ground and tossing the shovelful aside belied the anger seething inside. Unbeknownst to Harry, Bill and Charlie took up positions not far from him.
"Good and deep, Harry," Bill instructed. "The ground needs to be loose so the roots will have an easier time of establishing themselves."
Harry's response was to mumble to himself as he threw himself into the work. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get out of here. What a glorious day that will be. Surreptitously, he glanced at the brothers. Both had their backs to him, working hard. He glanced behind him. Sorely tempted to drop his shovel and return to the house, he gripped the tool harder and kept working. The only thing you'll find in there is temptation. You're a damn moth to her flame and you know it. After everything, you don't deserve her anymore.
The door opened and the object of Harry's musings appeared. A tray with three tall glasses of ice water floated before her. She sent it to a table under one of the trees. Turning back in their direction, she smiled and walked over.
"I thought you guys might be thirsty. There's water at the table."
"Thanks, sis. That sounds great," Charlie dropped his shovel, heading for the table.
"Perfect," agreed Bill, who also ran for the refreshment.
Awkwardly, she turned back to Harry, only to find him watching her. She tilted her head slightly, welcoming his scrutiny. If she hadn't been watching for it, she'd have missed it. However, she had been watching and saw, for the briefest of moments, longing in his eyes. Her smile grew to a more natural one.
"Thirsty, Harry?"
Now there's a loaded question if I ever heard one, Harry couldn't help thinking. Yes, very much so. Thirsty for some firewhiskey. Thirsty for you. He shrugged and grunted.
"Well, come on then or the guys will drink your share."
Ginny walked away from Harry but as she did so, she twisted her hair into a messy bun, using her wand to hold it in place. She practically held her breath hoping to hear the telltale signs of him following her, nearly jumping for joy when she heard his hesitant shuffling steps. Reaching the table first, she picked up his glass and handed it to him, making sure their hands made the tiniest bit of contact, long enough to be definite but short enough to be taken as accidental.
After the break, Ginny joined the others in the work. Harry wanted to object since she kept distracting him but he also knew, with her helping, the work could go qicker and he could leave sooner. Surprisingly, he found the task kept his mind busy and away from distressing thoughts. That is to say, it did until the sound of rock falling down rock reached his ears. His head whipped around.
Not far from Bill and Charlie, a rockpile had grown where any rocks from the soil had been tossed. Occasionally, big rocks had been tossed onto the pile with smaller rocks on top, some tumbling down to the base of the pile, and that was what had caught Harry's attention. He watched as two more fist sized stones sailed through the air and landed with a crack. A slightly larger one followed them and rolled down the pile.
Instantly, Harry was taken back to the moment of Fred's death. Sweat broke out all over and his breathing became erratic. His heart raced as, in his mind, he saw the wall explode inward, heard the bits of rock hit the inside wall and tumble to the floor. Anguished screams rent the air and Harry covered his ears in an effort to block out the sounds from that time.
Lost in the past, he fell to his knees, eyes squeezed shut, rocking back and forth. He was only vaguely aware of his body's trembling or the tears that ran unchecked down his sweaty cheeks. With his entire being, he tried to deny what is was he was seeing but his mind was stronger. Harry felt his stomach churn as the smell of the soil combined with the remembered scent of rock dust as the walls of Hogwarts were blasted apart.
"No," he pleaded. "No. No. No."
Harry felt two smaller hands cover his own. Those hands moved his away from his ears and gripped them tightly. Another two hands, these much larger, cupped his face forcing him to look into Bill's concerned eyes.
"Harry, breathe with me. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale."
Briefly, Harry wondered why Bill wanted him to breathe that way but then heard his own wheezing breath and felt his frantic heartbeat. He started to panic even more at that but Bill's calm voice and sure grip broke through the haze and he started to breathe easier, bringing his heart rate back under control.
"Talk to us, Harry. What were you seeing?"
Harry stared at Charlie and, for a second, it was like seeing Fred. Yes, George and Fred were identical but something about Charlie's features reminded Harry of Fred. Anger welled up and exploded before he could even think to stop it.
"You really want to know?! I'll tell you. I saw Fred's last moments again. I could hear the walls falling apart! Could smell the dust in the air from missed spells! I keep seeing that Killing Curse just barely missing Ginny! I keep remembering how close your Mum came to dying! I keep seeing Colin, who never should have been there, being carried away into the Great Hall to be placed with all the others! I KEEP SEEING HOW FULL THE GREAT HALL IS AFTER THE BATTLE! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?"
Feeling his stomach lurch, Harry scrambled away managing to reach a tree before he lost what little remained of breakfast. He groaned at the approaching footsteps. He turned and faced the three Weasleys.
"How can you do this to me?" he asked, silently pleading with them. "Just let me have one drink. Just one. Everything will be better after that. Please."
"You know we can't, Harry. And you know it will only make things worse. Believe it or not, this is actually doing you some good. It's all coming out like it needs to."
Harry's temper fired up again. "Who died and made you my keeper? Enjoying torturing me, are you? Having fun at my expense? Let's just get that damned ground plowed so I can get away from here."
Harry shoved his way through the three, picked up his shovel and turned the ground with angry strokes.
Bill turned to his siblings. "It's hard to think so now but he's actually making progress. It didn't take much prodding to get him to open up."
"I suppose," Ginny shrugged.
"Remember what you said before, Gin," Charlie comforted her. "He's worth it. Whatever it takes."
Over the next few days, similar instances occurred and Harry always ended them with the same scornful question.
"Are we having fun yet?"
After two weeks of hard labor, the plots were plowed. No matter how the Weasleys tried, Harry remained distant and refused to return to the Burrow with them. Harry barely listened to Charlie as he tapped his newly returned wand on his leg and waited for Bill to remove the wards that would allow his escape.
"If you ever feel like stopping by--" Charlie was saying when Harry popped out of existence. He turned to see his brother returning.
"He just take off?" Bill asked.
At Charlie's nod, Bill sighed. "We have to believe we got through to him on some level."
Bill draped on arm across Ginny's shoulders and hugged her. "Don't give up on him, Gin. Stay strong a little while longer."
"I'm not giving up. I'm never giving up."
"So what do we tell everyone?" asked an apprehensive Charlie.
"The truth. It's all we can say."
The three stood in that spot, lost in their own contemplations for a long while before deciding to return home. Their return was greeted exactly how they'd feared it would be, a mix of surprise and sadness with a little outrage thrown in for good measure.
"How could you have let him go off by himself again!" screeched Molly.
"He has to come to us, Mum. It's the only way it'll work."
"But he's still hurting, isn't he," she countered, more a statement than question.
Arthur jumped into the conversation in an attempt to help Bill. "Molly, Bill has a point. They've done what they can. The more we push the more likely we'll push him away."
"I just don't want to lose another one, Arthur," Molly sniffed.
The Weasley patriarch took his wife of many years into his arms and rocked her. "I know. I don't either."
Charlie caught Ron's and Hermione's expressions. "You two leave him be as well. Ron, he's already spoken to you. Hermione, I know you're best friends, but this is NOT a time to push."
He turned to the remaining Weasleys. "George, Percy, promise me you will NOT go looking for him. If any of us go to him trying to get him to come back, we may lose him for good."
At their reluctant nods, Charlie sighed. "We just have to give him some time and be patient. The boy, well, man is smart. He knows what's right and he's always done what was right over what was easy."
