This certainly brings back memories, Eve thought grimly.

The theatre had been restored back into a courtroom for one night only. The stands were full of civilians, all whispering among themselves. She heard her name. She heard Barnham's.

News spreads fast in a small town. Their secret was out now, and everyone knew about what happened in the office. The leaked photograph was being held as evidence so few had actually seen it, and she was grateful for that. Surprisingly, she wasn't embarrassed or mortified or unable to ever show her face in public; she was oddly at peace with the information being public. A group of young women were glaring at her. Muffet looked like she would cry. Espella looked terrified, and Patty didn't look much better. Eve ignored all of them. She had to focus.

The only difference from the courtroom during the witch trials was the fire pit. It wasn't lit, and the cage had long been taken down and locked away, so the room was mostly illuminated by torches, softly glowing in brackets covering every surface of the walls. It was unnerving to be on the wrong side of the courtroom, she noted. Then she suddenly had a thought; she hadn't checked to see who the Inquisitor for the trial would be. Raising her head, she saw that the other side of the court was empty. No one stood behind the bench.

Unexpectedly, the crowds' mutters turned to shouts, and she spun. Zacharias was there, being escorted to a wooden chair at the edge of a courtroom. There were yells of support, and yells that were less supportive. All celebrities had people who disliked them, and he was no exception. She heard the word 'rapist', and gritted her teeth. This wasn't nearly as enjoyable or as romantic as she'd anticipated. He caught her eye across the room. His eyes were scared and lonely, but he still cracked a smirk when she looked at him, mouthing "Hi." Eve nodded back, smiling sadly.

A sharp sound filled the hall, and the throngs of townspeople fell silent at the gavel being struck. The judge sat proudly in his seat above them all, hood pulled over his forehead, and cleared his throat. "The court is now in session for the trial of Zacharias Barnham, as scheduled… Though it is comfortably nostalgic to be back in the courthouse, I only wish it were under better circumstances."

There was a cry of, "We love you, Barnham!" It sounded strangely like Muffet, and the court erupted into noise again, screaming in support and chanting just like they used to. "Barnham! Barnham! Barnham! Barnham!"

"Order!" The judge shouted just as loud. "Order in this court! Order!" The court settled down finally, and the judge coughed. He looked exhausted already. "Now, I understand in previous trials, the defendant was never offered a chance to give their point of view. However, in this case, just for clarification, it is only fair that we ask the defendant: Are you guilty or not guilty?"

The whispering started again as Barnham was forced to stand, and walked over to the witness bench. He looked at the judge. He looked at Eve. She nodded.

He took a deep breath and raised his head. "Guilty, milord."

"What?!" Eve exclaimed, unable to stop herself. The recession reacted in kind, and even the judge looked shocked.

"Hold it!" A familiar voice behind the Inquisitor's bench spoke, and Eve turned to face the Inquisitor, curling her lip when she saw who it was.

Captain Boistrum. She wasn't even surprised. He hadn't hesitated to jump into Barnham's shoes when he'd been arrested last time; it was a well-known fact the man was bitterly jealous of him. Of course he'd leap at the opportunity to get rid of him for good. "I have a proposal, My Lord."

"Let's hear it then," The Judge stammered, still stunned.

"Seeing as the defendant has plead guilty, the inquisition would like the propose an immediate verdict."

"Objection!" Eve found her voice, shouting right from the bottom of her lungs. "A verdict this early on would be ludicrous! In order to reach a fair verdict, we must examine all evidence and listen carefully to all key witnesses. That is the only way to reach the correct decision."

"Objection sustained," The judge sided with her. "A verdict this early on is out of the question. Would the prosecution please deliver their opening statement?"

"Of course, your Honour," Boistrum looked unhappy at being rebuked. Eve smiled in satisfaction. "I would like to submit this piece of evidence to the court." He pulled out a square of parchment, and the Bailiff handed it to the judge. Oh dear god, please let that not be the photograph…

"Good Lord!" The judge exclaimed, dropping the square as if it had burnt him. He looked to Eve, then to Barnham, then back to Boistrum. "Where on earth did you find this? If you took this yourself, I'm afraid we may have to arrest you as well!"

"For obvious reasons we cannot display it to the court, but this photograph was discovered by a source who would rather remain anonymous, and it depicts our two delightful Inquisitors in a rather… heated dalliance." Eve glared daggers at him from across the room, clenching her hands into fists and locking her jaw. "As of course it is strictly prohibited for these two to have any kind of romantic relationship, it is clear that Lady Darklaw was forced into this situation against her will." He gave her a look. "She couldn't have given her consent even if she wanted to. But believe me, no one is more saddened than I that our beloved Sir Barnham was in fact nought more than a sex offender."

"Yeah, yeah keep talking!" There a scream from the audience, and it took her a moment to see that it was Rouge. "Everyone knows you've been after Zack's job since before we got here!"

The Judge slammed down the gavel. "Order in the –!"

"Oh, zip it grandad!" Rouge barked. "We're having this big, fancy trial, even though everyone knows he didn't anything wrong!"

"Zip it yourself, Rouge!" Barnham yelled back, twisting in his seat to look up at her.

"Don't shush me! I'm helping you!"

"You're not helping anyone but yourself!"

Boistrum slammed a hand down on the bench. "Defendant! May I remind you you have the right to remain silent?" He smirked. "I advise you exercise that right, unless you want your inevitable verdict to go even faster?" Barnham scowled, but shut his mouth, lips turning pale they were pressed together so tight. "Good."

"Your honour." Eve forced herself to remain calm. "I would like to suggest that the Inquisition treat my client with a little more respect. He is innocent until proven guilty, after all."

"Or in this case, innocent even after admitting his guilt, at least in your eyes." Boistrum folded his arms, tilting his head. "Perhaps you're a little too close to this case to play the part of the defence, Miss Darklaw?"

"Captain Boistrum." All eyes turned to the Judge. "You were selected as the Inquisitor for this case, but may I remind you that you are not in command of this court. You will be expected to treat both the defence and her client with an appropriate degree of reverence. If you are unable to do this, I will be forced to offer a default judgement, and victory will go to, in your words, our two 'delightful' Inquisitors."

"Uh… Yes, your honour."

"Though I have made one observation," he continued. "If you are indeed correct, and Lady Darklaw did not give her consent, why would she be standing here fighting for Sir Barnham's innocence?"

"That is a question we hope to answer," Boistrum said smoothly, having regained his composure. "I'd like to call in three witnesses that I'm sure can shed some light on their current relationship status. Noble witnesses, please take to the stand."

The three couldn't have been more different from one another. Miss Primstone stood as tall and rigid as ever, lips pursed, eyebrows raised, waving that familiar pointer in the air. Eve's gaze hardened when her eyes moved to Foxy, standing with her hips tilted, eyes hidden under that helmet, bust practically bursting out of her 'armour'. She turned to smile at Barnham. He scowled back. And the last witness…

"What on earth is he doing here?!" Eve exclaimed. The Judge sighed deeply, and Barnham dropped his head into his hands.

"What?!" Emeer Puchenbaug stood swaying slightly, brandishing a mug of ale. "I witnessed this crime just as well as any of these ladies! I done seen alllllllllll of it!" He sounded out the word 'all' so long it was stupid.

"You're drinking so much I doubt you even remember what Zacharias was accused of!" Eve was appalled. "Your Honour, this is ridiculous! The defence objects to this witness!"

"Lady Darklaw, may I remind you that you are in court, and I would prefer if you didn't refer to the accused by his first name so casually." It's better than treating him like he isn't a person, Eve thought with frustration, but said nothing. "Secondly, was it not you that said we must listen to all key witnesses in order to reach an accurate verdict?"

"W-well yes, but –"

"Objection overruled. Captain Boistrum, you may begin."

"Thank you, your honour." Boistrum bowed. "Witnesses, would you be kind as to describe what you, in your opinion, think of Lady Darklaw and Sir Barnham's relationship?"

"Objection!" Eve pointed at him across the room, arm outstretched fully, finger unwavering. Barnham smiled at the sight. So dramatic. "May I ask what exactly that line of questioning would achieve?"

"Hopefully, it may show exactly what the chances were that you did in fact offer your consent. It may also show the reason behind your apparent loyalty to the accused, despite the fact that you are the victim in this case." Boistrum explained, addressing the court and not her. "I'm sure you understand the importance of these statements. Witnesses, please go right ahead."


Witness Testimony

"For the most part, they seemed fairly professional whilst they were Inquisitors," Miss Primstone said in that high-pitched, hypercritical tone. "However, a few months ago something changed. He acted different around her somehow."

"It's totally obvious, isn't it?" Foxy giggled and flicked her hair. "The pair are clearly in love. Poor Zacharias… having to be tethered to someone so… what's the word? Unladylike." She giggled again, and Eve narrowed her eyes. Barnham curled his lip, scowl deepening.

"Those guys have probably been together since they met." Emeer slurred. "She's pretty, he's pretty… What happened at the office a few days ago was always gonna happen, and I'm willing to bet cash it wasn't the first time."

"Subtlety certainly was not their strong suit," Miss Primstone remarked.

"It's only their own fault," Foxy purred. "If they didn't want someone to take all those photos, they shouldn't have been doing that in a public office. I can't stand exhibitionists." Barnham snorted as he tried not to burst out laughing and Eve sneered. Oh the irony.


"I see…" The Judge said. "So the pair were rumoured to be in a relationship for quite some time then?"

"I was Master Barnham's teacher," Miss Primstone added. "I know a schoolboy crush when I see one." Barnham's cheeks went pink, and Eve nibbled a lip. That was it? The whole testimony? What was she supposed to get from that? She furrowed her brow, thinking hard, trying to find something, anything…

"Your Honour," Boistrum said. "I think we can all agree that it's clear that the accused and the victim were –"

"Objection!" Eve pointed on instinct, and the room fell silent at her voice. "Your honour, there is a glaring contradiction in that testimony!"

"Objection!" Boistrum slammed down a fist. Copying Zacharias again, Eve noted. "Impossible! They were merely offering their opinions! An opinion cannot be wrong!"

"Miss Foxy!" Eve's finger moved to point at her. "Can you repeat your last statement exactly?"

"Me?" Foxy lay a hand on her chest. "What could I have said?"

"Your last statement, Miss Foxy, please." She repeated, walking around the bench to the witness stand, standing directly across from her.

"I said if you didn't want someone to take all those photos, you shouldn't have been doing that in a public office." She smiled sweetly. "You must admit, I do have a point, honey."

"Lady Darklaw," The Judge addressed her as she moved back behind the defence bench. "May I ask where exactly the contradiction is in her testimony?"

"Miss Foxy used the words 'all those photos', however this court has only seen one."

"Argh!" Boistrum exclaimed, and Eve smirked.

"I see you've noticed it too, Mr Boistrum. You see, Your Honour, there were actually quite a few pictures taken of me and the accused. The only people who could possibly know of the rest of the photos are myself, the accused, and of course, the person who took the photographs themselves!" Eve slammed her hands on the desk. "If this is true…" She pointed right at Foxy. "How could Foxy possibly know about them?!"

Foxy cried out, and Boistrum shouted in defeat, recoiling as if he'd been slapped. The crowds began to chatter again, and Eve felt quite proud. Barnham was grinning at her, and winked when they locked eyes. She couldn't help but beam back. "Order!" The Judge shouted over them. "Order in this court! Miss Foxy? Do you have anything to say in response?"

Foxy looked flustered. "Uhm, well, you see, I…"

"Objection!" Boistrum stepped in. "You don't know for sure that the witness wasn't also sent copies of the photographs!"

"Yes! That's what happened!" Foxy agreed zealously. "They got sent to me a few days ago in the post! I was shocked, of course, so I threw them away so no one would see them. I wouldn't want you two to get embarrassed, now would I?"

Dammit! Eve was at a loss. What could she say…?

"Objection!" Barnham shouted suddenly. The Judge gave him a look of disapproval. "Please, let me speak!"

"Accused, have I not instructed you to be silent?" Boistrum shook his head. "I don't want another word out of you."

"Your honour, I request permission for my client to speak on his behalf!" Eve asked. The Judge shifted in his seat before sighing.

"…Permission granted. The accused may have his say."

"Thank you, your honour." Eve nodded to Barnham, who deflated in relief.

"What Foxy said is impossible," Barnham said. "The photos were taken on a Polaroid camera. This particular model of camera can only take one hundred photos on one sheet of film. Look at the numbers on the back of the photo, milord." The Judge turned the photo over, squinting at what was printed on the back. "The number of the photo is printed on the back. I was sent fifty photos, and so was Ev– I mean, Lady Darklaw. The notion that Foxy could have received any more is impossible."

"Objection!" Boistrum said. "How can you not be sure that whoever took the photos didn't just change the film to take more?"

"The camera was stolen from a friend of mine," Barnham replied with a smirk. "She stated herself that she hardly ever uses it. It's unlikely that she would have expensive, spare film just lying around for something she doesn't use. Furthermore, I'm willing to bet that a quick search of Foxy's rubbish bin at her house would reveal that she received no such photographs." He leaned back in the chair and smiled. "That's all. Thank you."

The court exploded into noise, the crowd talking among themselves and shouting and chanting.

"That's the Barnham we know and love!"

"Such elegance and tenacity… It's almost as if nothing's changed!"

Eve grinned. They were all on his side now. They might just get the verdict they needed. "This court will take a thirty-minute recess while we investigate these new developments," The Judge announced. "That's all for now. Court adjourned!"

The gavel struck, and Eve released a breath she'd been holding, and looked at Barnham once more. His eyes were heavy with emotion, though he didn't look too fearful anymore. She'd made him feel better. She felt better.

As she walked out of the courtroom, she savoured having the upper hand, and hoped the discoveries made during the break would work to their advantage.

Please God let it work to their advantage.