Obligatory Disclaimer: The "Inu Yasha" series and its characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Sunrise, Shounen Sunday, Viz, and other corporate types. I am none of those entities. I'm just a silly fan writing silly stories because it's fun. Suing me would only be a waste of time and funds, so please don't. Any original characters that show up belong to themselves. Just ask them.

Author's Disclaimer: Thoughts and opinions expressed in this work of fiction do not necessarily reflect those of the author.


Overall Rating: M

I CHOOSE NOT TO WARN!

This story contains material that may be disturbing or outright triggering to some. Reader discretion advised.


Author's Note: I'd like to thank inufan625 for giving me courage, Youkai55 for going over this chapter with a fine-toothed comb, and all you lovely readers, commenters, reviewers, favoriters, followers, and kudos-leavers. You all are what keeps me motivated!


Two Plus Two
By Misarae

Chapter Seven
Morning Delight and Spam


[Content removed to conform with fanfiction dot net guidelines]


"Inu Yasha? Kagome? Are you up yet?"

"Not anymore," Inu Yasha muttered, just loud enough for Kagome to hear as they reluctantly drew apart.

Kagome giggled, before calling out, "We're awake, Mama."

"Naoki, Sachiko, and I just got back from the store. Food will be ready in about fifteen minutes, if you think you'll be decent by then."

"Thanks, Mama. We'll be there!"

"Oi," Inu Yasha said as he heard Mama Higurashi's footsteps fade away. "You serious?"

"Neither of us have eaten anything since yesterday. We need to keep our strength up," Kagome said with a wink before sliding off the bed. Her knees wobbled as she tried to stand, and Inu Yasha's arm encircled her waist.

"Fine. A quick shower, and then I suppose we should let our pups know we're still alive."

"Yeah," Kagome said, adding with a wink, "eventually."


Inu Yasha and Kagome emerged from their room twenty minutes later, all olfactory evidence of their tryst removed, but their body language screaming it to the high heavens.

Naoki took one look and rolled his eyes, while Sachiko hopped off her chair to get her usual round of morning hugs.

"You're up early, Sachiko," Kagome teased.

"Granny said I could sleep in, but then I'd miss riding in the car and helping get groceries!" Sachiko replied, some of her words partially muffled as she claimed a hug from Kagome first, then Inu Yasha.

Kagome looked at Mama Higurashi. "Kanzaki-san's been here already?"

"Been and gone," Mama Higurashi said. "It's well past noon here. Even so, I figured that brunch would be a perfect solution while we adjust."

Kagome nodded, taking a seat at the table. Sachiko hopped up beside her, returning to her plate. Inu Yasha surveyed the dishes and frowned slightly, going over to Naoki and literally poking the strange slabs of meat on the pup's plate along with the much more familiar eggs and rice.

"What the he.. ck is that?" Inu Yasha asked.

"It's awesome!" Naoki replied, his mouth still partway full.

"They call it spam," Mama Higurashi said. "I tried some and didn't care for it, but Naoki's on his third helping."

"It's okay," Sachiko said. "I'd like it better if it wasn't so salty!"

And thus the mystery was solved. Inu Yasha's ears perked up.

"Really?" he said.

"Hey!" Naoki cried as Inu Yasha snagged a piece off his plate.

Ignoring the looks from Kagome and Mama Higurashi, Inu Yasha plucked a new slice right out of the frying pan, careful to only use his claws and not let the sizzling meat touch his skin. He placed it on Naoki's plate.

"There, you get the fresh one," Inu Yasha said with a long-suffering drawl before sticking his pilfered prize in his mouth. His eyes widened. "Damn this is good. I mean, darn."

Sachiko giggled, and the others politely ignored Inu Yasha's faux pas.

"I'm glad I picked up a bunch of it on Kanzaki-san's urging, then," Mama Higurashi said.

Kagome smiled her thanks as Mama Higurashi put a plate of primarily rice and egg with just a strip of the spam in front of her. Kagome nibbled on the strange, pink stuff, and found herself agreeing with Sachiko. It wasn't bad, but she would have much rather had fish.

"So, did Kanzaki say anything about what she's gonna make us do each day?" Inu Yasha asked.

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome said, giving him a little kick beneath the table.

Mama Higurashi chuckled. "Yes, she did. I have our itinerary safe in my purse. We have the day off today to deal with jet lag, but tomorrow we meet the kahuna who is going to be officiating your wedding ceremony. Apparently she's a very nice lady."

"She looked nice on the Windswept Weddings website," Kagome added.

"Keh, as long as she's not so old, she forgets her lines," Inu Yasha muttered.

Kagome started to give him a dirty look, which quickly morphed into one of surprise.

"Ow!" Inu Yasha said, rubbing the back of his head where Mama Higurashi had smacked him after she put down his plate, piled high with spam, the rice and eggs more of an afterthought.

"No playing footsie in front of the children," Mama Higurashi said mildly. "Don't make me seat you two at separate tables!"

Inu Yasha glared in response to Naoki's smirk, while Sachiko ignored the whole thing, making some sort of landscape with her remaining spam and eggs.

"So I thought," Mama Higurashi continued, "we could just spend the day at the beach."

Sachiko perked up immediately. "Really?"

"Cool!" Naoki said.

Inu Yasha wisely kept his head down. He had absolutely no desire to get smacked again, which he would if he voiced his opinion. Still, the sight of Kagome in a bathing suit would be something to behold.

He just hoped the other males on the beach kept their eyes to themselves. He didn't want to have to tear them limb from limb.


"Oi, Kagome! Everyone's waiting!" Inu Yasha called through their bedroom door.

"I.. you guys go without me. I'll just stay here."

Inu Yasha took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Nothing doing. Open the door or I'll smash it down. You know I will!"

"Inu Yasha?" Mama Higurashi asked. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know," Inu Yasha said. "Kagome's sayin' she wants to stay here."

"Naoki, Sachiko, and I will wait for you two outside, then. But NO funny business!"

"Yes, ma'am," Inu Yasha said begrudgingly.

Satisfied, Mama Higurashi nodded and went back to keep an eye on the children.

"See, Kagome? The longer you stay in there, the longer the pups will stay out in the heat, so stop bein'..."

"Being what?" Kagome spat, flinging the door open.

Inu Yasha took in her outfit, barely able to believe what he was seeing. She wore a huge, floppy hat on her head, and sunglasses that practically swallowed her face, but the part that startled him most was the drab one-piece bathing suit she wore that would have been in fashion around the time he was born, as well as a sarong wrapped around her hips. He knew she'd brought several bikinis. Heck, he'd bought a few outfits, himself, to surprise her with. He had no idea she even owned a one-piece.

"What's all this?" he asked.

"What's all what?" Kagome countered.

Inu Yasha gently hooked a finger in the top of her sarong. "This. Kagome, you're gorgeous!"

"I'm fat!" Kagome burst out, tears rapidly following.

Months ago, Inu Yasha would have panicked. He inhaled deeply, realizing that yet again, she was in the throes of a hormone surge. He took her in his arms, holding tight when she fought him, until she buried her face in his t-shirt.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, when she had enough breath to speak.

Inu Yasha continued to stroke her hair and back soothingly. "That's our pup you're calling fat," he joked.

Kagome gave a watery chuckle. "Aren't you so glad you're involved this time?" she said, her mirth switching to bitterness on a dime.

Inu Yasha slipped a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look up and meet his eyes. "Yes, I am. Tears, hormonal fits, and all. I wouldn't miss it for the world, Kagome."

"How can you be so sweet when I feel like such a bitch?"

Inuyasha lifted an eyebrow and said, "So? I'm part inu youkai. Why wouldn't I love a bitch?"

"That's not what I meant!" Kagome cried.

"But you're smiling again, even though you're still crying," Inu Yasha said, leaning down to lick her tears away. He could feel her relaxing beneath his touch, melting into him with a sigh. He kissed her cheek, mindful that they could have an audience at any minute. "Am I an awful husband for wanting to show off my wife and pup?"

"You're not awful at all," Kagome sniffled. "I just.. I looked at myself in my red bikini. The one I know you like, and I just looked so.. so..."

"Pregnant?"

Kagome chuckled despite herself. "Yeah."

"Well, I did bring along a few things that I was going to save for after the wedding, but I suppose I can give you one early."

"Inu Yasha?"

Kagome's eyes widened as Inu Yasha went over to one of his duffle bags, and drew out something wrapped in a plastic bag from one of the trendiest swimwear shops in Tokyo.

"Inu Yasha," she breathed.

"Hold out your hands."

She did so, and he placed his gift in them, pressing a brief, but very warm, kiss to her lips before stepping back.

"Go ahead."

Kagome unfolded the bag, and reached in, drawing out the contents. She gasped, the bag fluttering to the floor. "It's beautiful!" she said.

It was a two-piece swimsuit in the exact same color as her favorite bikini. The bottom piece resembled a normal bikini bottom, but the top was made of a loose, flowing material only confined at the very top by two straps that would go over her shoulders, and a few strategic cuts and stitches that would make her breasts look phenomenal.

"Oh thank you! Thank you, Inu Yasha!"

Inu Yasha stepped back to brace himself as Kagome flung herself at him, catching him in a very heated embrace, topped off with a searing kiss.

"If you two aren't out here in five minutes, I'm coming in after you!" Mama Higurashi's voice came from just inside the door.

"I'd better get out of here so you can get dressed, then, huh?" Inu Yasha asked, giving her a cocky grin that flashed one of his fangs.

"Yeah, otherwise we'll be a lot longer than five minutes," Kagome replied, her own smile as sultry as the summer breeze outside.

Inu Yasha growled in promise before turning on his heel to leave, suddenly very grateful for his baggy swim shorts.


Author's Note: One thing I've noticed in Inu Yasha canon (though the anime plays with this more than the manga) is that the things Inu Yasha seems to like best are all salty. Ramen. Potato chips. Pickles. So I figure spam would be high on the "yes, please!" list. For those who don't know what the food-type spam is, it's basically a highly processed slab of what is supposed to be meat, but I really don't want to know what animal parts are actually put into it. It is really salty! I used to love it with my grandmother's chili sauce, but alas, it's on the forbidden list now. Le sigh. Better for my body and health, but still...