First : all my appologies for my late update. It took me longer to write than normal and when I finally finished it, my beta was occupied and couldn't correct it.
Second : I couldn't bear the idea of making you wait another week so I'm posting it but know that my beta hadn't had time to do her job so there might be some mistakes. Which is why I'm asking you : would you like to play a game called 'let's be mimillekoishi's beta for this chapter' ? If you notice mistakes or grammar problems or forgotten words, please tell me in the commen area and I'll edit this chap later to make it perfect. I am not asking to search for mistakes just to tell me if you find some while reading normally. Thanks in advance :3
Third : I am sick. Like for real. It started sunday (the day I wrote this chapter) so there might be more mistakes than usual (I hope not but huh... I'm still french after all...).

Anyway, as usual I hope you'll like it. Remember that I am still new to the smut world and that I could use any kind of advice you can give so please if you have anything to say, tell me :3


"So ? How are your special classes ?"

"Good, good." Clarke's additional classes had started a week ago. The blonde had met the woman called Nia Quinn, Lexa's friend in Harvard, last Monday and had somehow managed to convince her to give her classes. Under some conditions of course. Clarke would have to attend all her normal classes and obtain perfect marks in every domain and "I have only three months to convince my mother to let me go to Harvard…"

Clarke sighed deeply and Octavia bit her lip. She had to change the subject or Clarke would pace uncontrollably repeating how impossible the task was for the umpteenth time this week. She had never thought she'd say that one day but… "And, how's Lexa ?"

Clarke let her head fall on her desk in a loud thud and groan "We haven't seen each other in a week…"

"Whoa ok. But maybe it's a good thing."

"It's not."

"Oh and why is that ? You're no longer outlawed."

"I don't care." In a week, they had just managed to cross paths only once or twice. Because some drunkards had decided that breaking windows (in April) was funny, the school had budget problems again and the 4th, 7th and 8th grade's school trip were compromised. Since Anya was the one giving Lexa's classes, the principal had to be her own assistant and had no time for herself, Clarke knew it. "I've spent all my evenings in video conference with Harvard teachers. I have no time anymore…" the blonde explained with a face. Planning 'sessions' for Lexa had become a real hobby these past months but now she had no time to even think about it. For a week, her small blue box had been forgotten in the bottom of her backpack. She had let it here 'just in case' but then she even forgot it existed, more absorbed by the work those new teachers wanted from her. Miss Quinn had told her that she would be treated as an actual first year Harvard student. At first Clarke had thought she had exaggerated to scare her but now she was sure of it, this Nia had said the truth and damn this truth was ruthless.

"Yeah it sucks." Octavia rolled her eyes "But again, you can concentrate on something really important."

For a moment Clarke thought about standing and snap back some kind of 'Who are you to tell me what is important, huh ?!' but when she looked at her watch she just sighed. "I don't have time to fight. Gotta go to class."

"Ok. See you tomorrow ?"

Clarke shrugged "As if I had a choice."

Lexa closed the door of her office with a sigh. What a shitty week. Between the reparations of the windows, the budget problems, some angry parents (Raven Reyes, Jasper Jordan and Monty Green had almost blown up the science room for the third time this month) and her ceaseless fights with Anya, Lexa could call her last week shitty.

A small part of her had wished that this Monday, beginning of a new week, would've been better. A bigger part of her, that had been telling her her problems were only starting, had been right. She had had to change a tire before classes on the school's parking because she rolled on a fucking tiny nail. When she had been finished with her car, her uterus decided it was a good time to wake up and make her suffer like a young 14 year old. Lexa hadn't had such powerful menstrual cramps in an eternity. And because her belly is never enough, her head had started pounding like crazy. She had spent her morning in the infirmary with Nyko, their wonderful nurse. He was a good man, experienced with children and good doctor but he had a devouring passion for rubiks cube. He always had one in a pocket of his overall. The thing is that when Nyko had nothing else to do he loved to play with his cube. And a rubiks cube in action makes noise. A very light but very annoying rattle. Lexa would never be able to look at a rubiks cube ever again without smashing it.

Then midday had come. She had open her bag, only to discover that the delicious meal she had spent a long time doing the day before had stayed on her counter. So she had had to go eat at the refectory with her colleagues. The food had never been good nor bad and Lexa could eat practically everything. Yes practically. Of course this time the refectory had had to serve carrots, Lexa's most powerful enemy.

Her afternoon passed relatively fast since she had had too many things to do. Finally it was evening and she was closing her office, office she hopefully wouldn't see again before tomorrow. But her office's door was only the first of a long list. Half an hour later, she was almost finished. Only one room was left. Just to be sure nobody was left in there, Lexa opened the door of the conference room. The room was empty but something caught her eyes. Clarke's blue jacket. The blonde had probably forgotten it when she left earlier. Lexa grabbed the jacket and starred at it for a minute. It was real leather, the colour was some kind of blue-grey and the garment beautifully done. Sure it had cost a lot. Lexa had a big family and they had never been rich. Clarke's world was completely foreign to her. Expensive clothes, expensive house, expensive life. At least her parents would have no problem paying the girl her studies in Harvard. Well if Clarke managed to convince her mother that is. Thinking about Clarke… It had been a while since Lexa had talked to her. She thought for a moment, counting in her head how many days had passed.

"A week already…"

It's all Lexa had been asking for for months now so why was she so depressed at the thought ? She shook her head. She had no time for useless questions now. She threw the jacket on her arm, closed the door and headed back to her office. She reopened the door and carefully placed the blue cloth on the coatrack in the corner of the room. She'd give it back to Clarke the next time she pass by her office.

Lexa left her office for the second time this evening but with a small smile on her face.

"And good evening Miss Reyes !" Lexa said, almost slamming the door of her office behind the dangerous brunette girl that had managed to bug Anya's office. Lexa had told her cousin hundreds of times to LOCK her door when she wasn't there but Miss there's-nothing-to-fear never did and here they were. During the afternoon, a specialist had spent four hours trying to find all the electronical devices that could be hidden here and there. Of course out of precaution he had combed through her own office, just to be sure. Oh and the worst ? The whole school knew what had happened. Lexa let herself collapse in her desk chair with a long, desperate and tired sigh. Thirty. The specialist had found thirty mics and some type of walkie in Anya's office. Damn, kids were really crazy these days… But this girl and her friends sure were talented. Maybe she could try to find them some good school too… NO. Enough with that. Those little delinquents didn't want to study, just play with some powder and electronics. Lexa had had enough trouble trying to find teachers for Clarke. Plus, Nia would kill her if she asked her anything else.

Lexa's eyes fell on the blonde's jacket then.

She hadn't seen the girl for almost two weeks now. Five days that this piece of leather had been complicating her life. The item was a perpetual reminder that Clarke, that once was here, was not here anymore and it was frustrating. Lexa didn't know why but every time she looked at the jacket she was pissed. Five days that she had been waiting for the girl to come retrieve her thing. Five days that Lexa hadn't seen that said girl. At all. Not even in a corridor or in a classroom or who knows where. It was as if Clarke had suddenly disappeared.

And Lexa was pissed.

Clarke and she had used to see each other at least twice a week for… A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. She realised that ever since… It started, they had never really talked in the end. Every single time Clarke had been the one coming at her, messing with her then leave her behind like nothing had happened. Now that she was thinking about it, it had been more than two weeks since the girl had touched her. Again Lexa shuddered and a weird feeling settled inside her. She rejected it at first. Then memories of all the things that Clarke had done to her in this office, on this very chair even, flashed in her mind and she crossed her legs out of reflex. No way. There was NO WAY she could want something like that. No, her period had just stopped, it was hormonal. She couldn't be missing that, missing Clarke, especially after just two shitty but short weeks.

She resumed her precedent activity : paper marking. But after each two or three questions, her gaze would leave the desk for the coatrack, a wave of arousal coursing through her before she could force herself to concentrate on the reason she was in this office, her work.

After twenty minutes though she stood, noticing the unpleasant, unwanted wetness between her thighs, and walked to the coatrack with tensed, hurried footsteps. She grabbed the jacket with all the anger one could put in such action, and held it above the trash next to the door. This thing had been bothering her for almost a week now, Clarke didn't care about this piece of leather, it was obvious. She hadn't come to get it back after all. Plus, she could easily buy another one, or better, have someone make one for her ! Lexa tried to unclench her fist. Really tried. But somehow it didn't want to obey her.

After a minute or two she finally stated "I can't do this."

Lexa was the kind of people that kept old, torn clothes because, who knows, maybe one day she could make something out of it. So of course she couldn't throw a brand new, very expensive and cool jacket. Plus it was not hers. She couldn't throw something that was not hers. She decided she would just put the thing back on the coatrack so she did. Or tried. She was only a step away from the trash when she fell on her butt in a loud thud and a grunt. She found herself lied flat on her back, the jacket covering her face, one of her shoe had left her foot and for a moment she feared she had broken her tail bone. She held back a sob as tears ran down her cheeks. She was tired. Tired of the shit happening in her life, tired of this jacket tired of feeling. And tired of holding back too.

She grabbed the jacket with both hands and took a deep breath closing her eyes. It smelled like new leather. And it smelled like Clarke. Lexa went to sit against the door, her back leaned on it. She extended an arm to turn the key in the lock. With one hand she held the jacket against her face while the other was unbuttoning her pants.

"Fuck" she muttered as her hand reached her crotch. She was drenched. How in the world was she so wet already !? She hesitated only a split second before touching herself. She ran her fingers along her folds until they reached her fully erect clit. She barely held back a moan as her nose picked a little bit more of Clarke's smell and her index rubbed at the bundle of nerves that had apparently been left alone for too long. After Costia, she hadn't had sex nor even masturbated for three years. She couldn't believe the desperate state she was in now, after just two weeks. She started to trace small circles around her clit, imagining it was Clarke's hand. She thought about that time in her office when Clarke had pinned her against a wall and touched her in the same way. As she remembered the blonde's expression she cried out something but muffled it with the jacket. The room was silent, so silent Lexa could hear her pulse and damn it was fast. And she felt hot, so hot. She raised a knee to rest the jacket on it, moaning again at the change of position, and started to unbutton her shirt with her now free hand. The cool air on her flushed skin dragged a contented hum out of her throat. But after a moment though she felt hot again and her movements became ineffective. Her finger was still stimulating her clip, strocking and circling but something was off. She wanted something else, needed something else. Lexa tried to remember how Clarke used to touch her and the memory only made her walls clench and her hips jumped. 'Of course' she thought bitterly, releasing a humourless laugh. She changed her pace for an excruciating, slow rhythm, just like Clarke would have done. Then the pleasure came back full force and she realised how much she loved that, how good frustration felt to her and hated the fact that, contrarily to months ago, she wasn't hating nor blaming herself for it. She imagined Clarke's hand pulling at her hair while slowly teasing her clit with a finger and again her hips jumped forward. When she lightly, slowly grazed her clit with the edge of her nail Lexa moaned loudly, glad that the school was empty. Or maybe not.

"Oh god-"

Lexa was panting heavily, the slow rhythm was killing her inside. She could feel all her muscles clench and unclench, sucking at nothing and she felt empty. But not yet. Clarke wouldn't give her what she wanted.

Not yet.

Minutes passed and Lexa was on the edge. She had had to slow herself down constantly to keep her orgasm away for as long as she could. But then she imagined Clarke's teeth digging into her bottom lip she finally gave in. She let her hand stroke the small nub forcefully like her body had been wanting for what felt like years now and her orgasm hit her. She opened her mouth in a silent scream as her hips were jumping and her walls clenching.

Her orgasm hadn't completely died yet when two fingers found their way through warm, wet folds to reach this very special spot Clarke had discovered two months ago in a classroom. She couldn't help the growl that escaped her throat at the feeling. She stopped moving, waiting for her insides to adjust and the image of Clarke between her legs to fully form on the screen of her memories. When she almost heard Clarke's voice ordering her to 'move', she started to thrust her fingers in and out, curling them inside her each time and teasing her clit with her thumb. Again it was taking everything she had in her not to fuck herself hard and fast. She buried her face into the piece of leather on her knee, her free hand unclipping her bra before grabbing her left breast almost violently. She breathed deeply. This smell she used to hate was now her biggest turn on. How did this happen ? When ? Two dark blue eyes flashed behind Lexa's eyelids and her hips bucked, pushing her fingers even deeper in a moan. The hand on her breast was pincing her nipple almost painfully, imagining it was Clarke's teeth. She managed to keep her slow rhythm for another minute or so but when a certain memory of a sadistic smile came to her mind she lost the fight. She started to move her hips in sync with her hand as quiet screams of Clarke's name were escaping her open mouth. Her pace picked up uncontrollably and soon her butt was barely touching the ground anymore. The only things in Lexa's mind in that instant were the memory of Clarke's hands and lips on her, the way her walls were begging for more and how good it felt.

Lexa knew she was on the edge, knew her orgasm was just at the door but somehow she couldn't find the keys to open it. She tried to thrust harder, faster but she couldn't come. Her body was starting to be tired and she feared her pleasure would fade away.

"No, no please ! Please !" she pleaded to nobody in particular. She was so close… Then she heard it. She heard Clarke's teasing voice say 'What if there was a mic left ? What if someone had been listening the whole time ?' A shameful wave of warmth coursed through her body at the thought. Indeed, what if people had heard ? She imagined Clarke's teeth sinking into the thin skin of her neck and she came undone, fists clenching at leather. "Clarke !" She screamed, all her muscles contracting at the same time as she came with tears in her eyes "Clarke" she repeated, head thrown back and eyes tightly shut, still pumping in and out of her in a desperate attempt to fully drag out her orgasm, make it long and strong. Each wave of pleasure was followed by a strangled call of Clarke's name and a swell of her heart.

Slowly she came down from her high, relaxing. She waited for all the aftershocks to stop before taking her fingers out. Slowly she opened her tired eyes and looked at Clarke's jacket. Then her eyes caught a glimpse of pink and green. She picked up the small object probably responsible for her fall. A small bitter smile tugged at her lips. Of course it had to be a candy. Without thinking, she unwrapped it and put it in her mouth, letting the disgustingly sweet, chemical taste flood her mouth. She curled up on herself, holding the piece of leather close to her chest, hiding her face in her knees.

Clarke got startled, to say the least. If she wasn't mistaking she had just heard Lexa moan… She had come to finally get her jacket back but what she had found was way more interesting. The blonde smiled at the small sounds escaping Lexa's mouth and all the wet, naughty noise she could hear. She leaned her back on the door and closed her eyes, picturing Lexa masturbating. Something was weird though. Clarke had never heard the woman being so carefree. Usually she'd hold every little sound inside as much as she could but right now she was just…

'Shit.' Clarke thought. It was turning her on. She wondered for a moment if she could just sit down too and masturbate in sync with the brunette. Clarke sighed. She knew she wouldn't be able to stay silent. She'd be busted immediately, putting an end to the magic moment that was happening. So she just put her ear on the thin wooden door and listened.

It was harder than she had thought. Clarke started to chew her bottom lip nervously. Oh how she wanted to be in that office right now… Not touching herself was hard but not being able to watch was a torture.

She couldn't help her hips from jolting from time to time and thighs to rub against each other and a small moan escaped her throat at a very low growl from Lexa. Clarke's heart stopped beating. She put her hands on her mouth out of reflex, waiting for the woman to stop her ministrations but the moans and panting continued and Clarke relaxed. This was dangerous. She should get out of here. And quickly. But how ? How could she when such symphony was playing for the first and maybe the last time ? She tried to walk away but her ear and heart were glued to the door. She should go but she would stay. She would listen until the end, would stay silent, waiting for Lexa to finally orgasm. But after a while Clarke could hear her movements slow down "No, no please ! Please !" Lexa said and it sounded so desperate… Clarke's heart swelled at the thought that Lexa could be left unsatisfied even with her being here. She thought as fast as possible, thought about what could help the brunette, at what she could do, what she could say to- Wait. Say. That was it. Clarke kneeled down and leaned her cheek on the wood and the corner of her lips curled in a wicked grin.

"What if there was a mic left ? What if someone had been listening the whole time ?" Clarke whispered, silently praying that it would work and that the woman would not believe she was really there. The blonde smirked as she heard a very loud moan but trembled from head to toe when she heard her name. It was the sexiest thing Clarke had ever heard. 'Dammit !' she cursed to herself. She was sure she'd have to wash her pants and throw her underwear away after that. Lexa called her name repeatedly for a while and it took Clarke everything she had in her not to just open the door and join Lexa. After a moment though the brunette calmed down and stilled.

Silence fell and Clarke decided it was time for her to disappear but as she was stopped by an unusual sound. A sob. And a sniffle. And small, quiet cries. She frowned. Was Lexa crying ? Why ? Emotional aftershock ? Hormonal problem ?

"Clarke…"

Lexa's tired, lonely, sad voice called and in an instant, Clarke had her hand on the doorknob. Lexa needed her, Lexa, Lexa had called for her, Lexa was sad and she needed her so why was she hesitating ? The woman's cries became more insistent and again Clarke almost turned the doorknob. Almost. Instead she rested her forehead on the door. She wanted to punch something not even knowing why. 'Fuck !' She thought, why the fuck was she standing there doing nothing when Lexa was crying, HER Lexa was crying.

After a few minutes, the woman's cries died and Clarke left.

"I screwed up." Lexa said in a hoarse voice. "Anya was right." She uncurled herself and wiped her tears. The blue leather was pressed on her chest, her red eyes shut and her face turned to the ceiling when she stated "I fell in love with my student."


So ? How was it ?
I am not a big fan of masturbation scenes actually, for me it lacks spice because pretty much everyone (past a certain age) knows how it feels and sex between you and yourself is boring after a while (ESPECIALLY in fiction). As someone that just can't deal with loneliness in her everyday life (in everything I do), it's hard to conceive interesting sex involving only one person, but that's my nature, everyone might not be like that and I perfectly understand, just know that it was kinda hard for me to write this. It's not that it's not good but I personally don't see the interest of 'watching' a character getting off on their own, especially when this said character is in a relationship and that you started to read this story BECAUSE of said relationship. But again it's just my personal point of view.
However, as much as I don't really like these scenes, I felt like it could be useful to this story. I don't know if I did a good work here or not since I don't usually read stuff like that so I'd like to know what you thought about it. I might even rewrite it if it wasn't good enough (because I don't like not being satisfied by one of my writings.) I try not to release a chapter that is not fully finished or that I am not proud of in general but this one is special. I don't know what to think about it because I can't compare it to anything I've read. So yeah please this time more than never, tell me what you thought :)