Oh, you can hear me cry, see my dreams all die, from where you're standing on your own. It's so quiet here, and I feel so cold, this house no longer feels like home.
So Cold by Ben Clocks
Gale and I hastily break apart, guilty looks on our faces.
I'm glad it's dark so they can't see me blush.
Katniss and Peeta stand in the doorway, identical glares on their faces.
"And just what do you think you're doing with my little sister?"
I blush even redder, and Gale seems at a loss for words. "Ummmmm..."
Is she...jealous?
Suddenly I don't see the Training Center. I see Katniss, clutching Gale's hand as my mother and I try to heal the wounds on his back, tears streaming down her face.
Maybe it's not Peeta that she loves.
"Prim. This can't happen. You're too young. The Capitol will slaughter you both if this happens in the arena. Peeta and I barely made it out alive. Think of the consequences."
I already have. "I can't be your Little Duck forever, Katniss," I say hollowly. Then, without another word, I brush past her and run to my room, reopening the door and slamming it again because it wasn't loud enough the first time.
The tears start to flow freely, and I scream into my pillow for a few minutes.
"It's not FAIR! It's not!" I shout, not caring who hears me.
Because it isn't. I miss District Twelve, our little house in the Seam, the freedom to be alone when I wanted to be, Gale taking me out into the woods while Katniss was in the Games.
I remember the first time well. It was about two days into the Games and I hadn't done much but sit there and watch Katniss. In the Training Center. In the Opening Ceremony. Everything.
It was my mother who answered the door when Gale knocked, but his voice could be heard clearly, even from where I was.
"I want to see Prim."
At the time, he was just a friend, so I didn't feel the thing inside me. Not until much later.
"She's in the next room," I heard my mother say, and when Gale walked in, I was sitting on the bed, hugging my knees, facing the wall.
"C'mon, Prim. We're going to the woods."
I had terrible aim with the small bow and arrows, and didn't manage to hit anything but the trees that day. But none of that mattered. What mattered was spending time with Gale.
Time that's now gone, slipped away like autumn leaves in a breeze.
"Primrose?"
Great. It's Haymitch. One of the last people I want to talk to right now. And besides that, I'm just plain embarrassed.
I mean, really. Katniss and Peeta must have told him all about it by now. The Little Duck kissing Gale. Who would have known?
But like I told Katniss, I'm not her Little Duck anymore. I'm no longer the girl who begged to see the pretty cakes in the bakery window, or cried to save a scrawny orange kitten.
I'm the girl who keeps secrets from her sister, and knows how to heal bleeding wounds, and let Gale kiss her.
"Go away, Haymitch," I mumble into my pillow.
"Primrose, I just wanted to say-"
"I've already heard it all from Katniss. Leave me alone."
"- It's going to be fine."
Wait. Did I hear him right? These words coming from Haymitch are so strange that I stop for a moment to listen.
"Everybody loses it. But nothing lasts forever. And by the way, nice goin'. I've never seen Peeta unable to think of anything to say before."
I can't help it. I smile. And then start to laugh. After a moment, Haymitch joins in.
I laugh harder as I picture the look on Katniss's face.
Even though I'm going to die, I've got to be able to have fun once in a while.
Primrose says to review. But please be nice! (Especially if your name is TributeAndProud and you're my best friend.)
