CHAPTER 7
"Thank you for being here." Lena kisses my cheek before resuming the pacing around her living room. In the almost two months we have been together, I've witnessed this side of Lena more than once.
"You're welcome." I move closer to her. Capturing her lips with my own, planting her in place. "Stop pacing, just sit down and relax with me for a minute. Kara isn't even here yet. There's no need to freak yourself out before she even gets here. There's actually no reason at all. You and I both know that Kara will most likely be thrilled about us being together." She nods leaning in to my chest, placing a soft gentle kiss on top of her head, leading us over to the couch.
"I haven't told anyone any of these thoughts or feelings ever! I'm really happy with you Alex. I am. I need you to know that, I need you to believe me." She takes my hand, her Luthor mask cracking just a little bit. "I need you to trust me when I tell you I'm in this relationship with you." I see the nervousness in her eyes. I can hear it in her words. I can feel it in the way she clutches my hands a little too tightly. Almost like she thinks if she lets go of them I'll leave and she'll lose me.
I need her to know that I'm here. That she isn't going to lose me. I reposition my body to make sure I'm making direct eye contact with her. "Lena, I know how hard coming out is. It's hard and scary. Even when we know the people around us will be nothing but loving and accepting. Coming out in anyway, is always scary because it's a life changing moment. They aren't words you can't take back." I can hear the firmness in my own voice steady, as I say my next words. "I'm with you. I'm in this relationship just as much as you are. Whether we tell her right now, or a year from now we don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable or you're not ready to do yet. I'm still your girlfriend we're still in this."
I visibly watch my words sink in, the gears in her mind start turning as she calculates her next words. She lets go of my hand moves from the couch to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine. She uncorks the bottle filling both glasses with generous amounts. I take the glass she offers me when she returns to her spot next to me. She takes a long sip of the deep red liquid.
"It's not that I'm not comfortable or ready to tell Kara about us. It's more that I don't know what to tell her. I wouldn't have an issue coming out if I knew for certain that I'm gay, but I'm not. The words I'm gay, don't fit me. I feel like if I were gay the word would fit me. I like guys I've had connections with them. I've been attracted to them."
I shake my head because for however smart and compassionate and confident she is behind a desk at L-Corp or projecting confidence in a stuffy board room full of stiff businessmen, it all evaporates whenever she is talking about herself.
"Alright the first thing we're going to do is break out of this stupid box system you have constructed for yourself. You're not in the Luthor mansion anymore. Stop hiding in these confined lines of being one proper thing. Bisexuality is a thing Lena Luthor. I know you are cultured enough to know this. If you decide that the term bisexual doesn't fit you either, later on. You can find a term that does fit who you are. Sexuality is a whole long spectrum that can't possibly fit into your tiny little boxes."
A smile appears on her face, I can see that her Luthor mask has cracked completely, the tension has melted away from her body, she is relaxed, she is now a little more confident, and she is happy. I can see words forming on her face but before they can come from her throat there's a knock at her door.
"Hold on Kar. I'll be right there" Lena calls, giving me a smile and a kiss that tells me to stay right where I am. I really hope that Kara isn't using her super hearing or doesn't pick up on my heartbeat being here as well. Or if she does I hope she doesn't realize that it's beating faster than normal. The way it always does when I'm around Lena now, especially when she kisses me.
"Hey Alex, I didn't know Lena invited you over too. This is going to be such a fun girls' night with my two favorite people." Kara brightens up even more.
"Yes, it's going to be fun" Lena motions her over to the couch while she pulls a third glass out of the cabinet, pouring some wine for Kara.
"Is everything ok?" Kara plays with her glasses. "Your heartbeat is a little faster than normal." She lowers her voice for Lena's benefit.
I swirl my wine taking a drink to buy myself a few moments. "Yeah, I'm good, just had a hectic day at work." I brush off it's not technically a lie so I'm hoping she won't pick up on it. "Lena's heartbeat is faster too" Kara mumbles under her breath.
"What about me?" Lena asks, handing Kara her glass.
"Nothing, you seem a little stressed," Kara recovers smoothly beaming up at Lena.
Lena meets my eyes confidence shining in them and I know our secret is about to be know. "I have been busy at work. L-Corp is working on a lot of new technologies and with Eve actually being a double agent in love with my insane brother who's escaped from prison and now has super powers; because of a serum I created." Kara moves to interrupt her, but Lena stops her. "All of this is stressful it's true, but I'm managing. I promise." Her smile grows even wider as she looks at me.
I know I'm smiling before I should be, but I can't help it. Kara is too focused on Lena.
"One of the reasons I'm able to handle this stress in a way. That's not the usual Luthor destruction, is that I've started seeing someone new.
Kara fixes her glasses once again looking up at Lena with a loving supportive encouraging, Kara Danvers smile. "Lena that's great! Who is he? Where'd you meet him? What's his name?"
Lena laughs moving closer to me sitting on the arm of the couch sneaking her hand into mine. "Kara I could answer all your questions and all the other questions that will certainly come with the answers I give you. I've always been better on acting on my feelings rather than talking about them though."
Lena's lips are on mine, and I'm sure my heartbeat is going wild. When we pull apart Kara is looking at both of us with wide eyes, but a classic Kara Danvers smile.
"Lena's the secret girlfriend you've been hiding from me?" She looks to me for conformation.
"Yes, she is" I'm sure my smile is the biggest it's been a while.
"I'm so happy for both of you. I ship you guys" Kara grins. We have to establish one very important rule. You two can't skip anymore game nights to only spend time with each other!" Kara declares, before getting up and squishing Lena and I in a hug.
AN SORRY I'VE BEEN GONE. THE USUAL END OF THE SEMESTER CRAZE, AND ON TOP OF IT I'VE GOTTEN SICK OF COURSE. BUT ONE MORE WEEK OF CLASSES YAY. I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER AGENTCORP STORY UP IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED. REVIEWS ARE VERY MUCH APPRICIATED. THE SUPPORT THIS STORY HAS MEANS A LOT TO ME! HAVE AN AWESOME NIGHT LOVELIES!
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