LIL7

hey. This chapter is graphical so you may want to skip it.

Marian moaned as she awoke laying on the floor still. She couldn't feel anything. Her entire body was numb. Yet everything seemed to hurt. She could barely keep her eyes open as she glanced around the room hazilly. Everything was a blur as she took in the setting. The cramped desk that was covered in her various perfumes. The bed which was still made, and had not been slept in. She remembered that she was in her own room now. She weakly turned her head and looked at her torso which was bare apart from her bra. She winced as she took in the sight of her torn arms. She resembled something that had been thrown into barb wire. Actually she looked like a caveman that I had found a razor and decided to shave for the first time. She pulled herself to her feet moaning quietly in pain as her jeans harrassed the scar on her tattoo, and the movements of her arms caused her barely healed cuts to stretch. Her arms were weak almost causing her to fall back to the floor. She used the edge of the bed to aid her as she sat on the soft matress. She glanced at her clock. The red numbers hurting her eyes. Eight – fifteen pm. Now what was she going to do? She lifted herself heavily to her feet and dragged her wrecked body over to her wardrobe where she raked through the many items of clothes to find a long sleeved top. Panic removed itself from her mind when she found a long tight fitting black jumper. She winced as she pulled it over her head and walked out of her bedroom, her legs shaking as they carried her through the house.

'Hey hun.' Lauren smiled as she saw Marian come down the stairs.

'Hey.' Marian replied barely audible.

'You sure you OK hun?' Lauren asked in worry as she watched her cousin and best friend barely be able to make it down the stairs.

'I'm fine. Just coming down with a cold I think.' Marian said trying to excuse her odd behaviour.

'You want some hot chocco?' Lauren asked.

'Nah.' Marian answered nodding her head as she walked into the living room and sat down slowly on the couch.

Lauren went to ask more but was stopped by the loud ringing of the door bell.

'Hello.' Lauren frowned as she opened the door and found a stranger dressed in black on her doorstep.

'Hi. Is Marian in?' The man asked.

'Yeah. I'll just get her.' Lauren smiled as she left the man standing on the door step and walked into the living room to get Marian.

'Marian hun there's a man at the door for ya.' Lauren smiled.

Marian rolled her eyes as she rustily got up from the couch. Round two. She thought believing that it was Robin come to give her more of his lies.

'Guy.' Marian said startled when she saw him standing at her door.

'Marian. I was wondering if you would like to come with me tonight?' Guy asked smiling.

'Come with you where?' Marian replied cauitously.

'To the park. I thought that it would perhaps take your mind off Robin.' Guy answered looking genuinly like he cared.

'Yeah why not.' Marian smiled as she walked out into the night and closed the door behind her. Robin had been lying to her all along. So he had probably been lying about Guy also. But then he had attacked her that night in the park. Ah what did she care. Right now getting attacked seemed like an interesting situation.

'So. How are you?' Guy asked as they walked down towards the park.

'As good as could be expected.' Marian answered.

'I am sorry you had to find out that way.' Guy said looking down at her face.

'If it wasn't for you I probably would never have found out.' Marian admitted.

RHRHRHRHRH

Robin walked down the street with Allan. Much and Will.

'Rob she isn't going to want to talk to you man.' Allan said as Robin walked a head in the direction of Marian's house.

'He's on a mission. Your smart ass mouth ain't gonna stop him.' Will sighed at Allan.

'Well. I'm just saying the truth.' Allan defended.

'He has to talk to her. She thinks he cheated on her with Sarah.' Much exclaimed as he tried to walk at the same pace as Robin, but failing.

'Yeah. But we know that he didn't and she'll soon realise that to.' Will spoke into the air.

Robin moaned loudly and turned to face them making them all stop dead in their tracks and look at him in fear. 'Look there are some things you don't know about Marian. This rumour may have caused her more damage than you think.' Robin sighed. 'I have to talk to her.' He added before turning and walking down the path once more.

Allan, Will and Much looked at each other and shrugged before following Robin once again.

'Hey Lauren is Marian in?' Robin asked as Lauren opened the door.

'Well she's popular tonight.' Lauren smiled trying not to look at Allan who was smirking at her. 'But she's already gone out with someone else.' Lauren added blushing.

'Someone else...who?' Robin asked curiously.

'Don't know. Tall guy, black hair. Looks like he's a member of the village people with all the leather' Lauren replied laughing thinking about the man that Marian had gone out with.

'Guy.' Robin hissed before turning and walking down the path with Will and Much following him.

Lauren raised her eyebrows as she looked at Allan who was still standing on the path smirking at her with his hands on his hips.

'Hey babe.' He grinned.

'Allan!' Robin shouted from down the street.

'Another time.' Allan winked to Lauren before running down the street after the others.

Lauren shook her head and closed the door, thankful that her legs hadn't buckled on her while he was there. God did he have the most amazing smile.

RHRHRHRHRH

Marian giggled uncontrollably as she almost fell from her sitting position at the top of the children's climbing frame. Guy steadied her and she took another swig from the bottle of vodka she had in her hand.

'Well you seem to be happier now.' Guy laughed at her drunken state.

'When your down and have a frown, vodka makes you smile like a clown.' Marian rhymed.

'I like that.' Guy smirked laughing.

'Robin we don't know where she is.' Much exclamied as Robin barged through the streets.

'Where does Gisbourne always go?' Robin asked.

'The junky house?' Allan answered sincerely.

'The park.' Will added shooting Allan a look.

'Exactly which is where they will be now.' Robin said as he walked faster towards the park.

'Woo! I'm on top of the world!' Marian shouted as she stood ontop of the small climbing frame.

'You are mad.' Guy laughed as he watched her from the ground.

'Ahh!' She screamed as she fell from it and into Guy's arms laughing.

Guy smirked and placed her back on the ground starring into her eyes.

'Have some.' Marian laughed as she tried to make Guy drink from the vodka bottle. Guy smiled as he took a swig from the bottle. He watched her. Looked into her eyes. They were the most beautiful colour of blue he had ever seen. Her lips. So lovely and perky. Just begging to be kissed. He should indulge them, shouldn't he?

Robin saw red as he entered the park to see Marian draping over Guy as she held the vodka bottle in her hand singing some silly song, obviosuly drunk. He saw Gisbourne lower his head in a motion to kiss Marian.

'Gisbourne.' Robin bellowed to stop him. He had better not even try it.

'I ain't being funny right...but she's pished.' Allan stated as he saw Marian start to dirty dance awfully.

'Thank you for stating the obvious Allan.' Much bit sarcastically. 'I do not know how we would have figured that out without you.'

Robin marched over to them with one thought in his mind. Kick Gisbourne's backside.

'Back off Robin I think you've hurt her enough for one night.' Guy barked.

'Oh I am the one that hurt her!' Robin shouted as he continued to walk over to them. 'I know you had something to do with the whole Sarah thing.' Robin spat as he walked up to Gisbourne and lifted Marian into his arms bridal style before turning and walking back out of the park. He had to get her home and make sure she was OK first.

'Hey put her down!.' Guy shouted as he tried to lunge for Robin as he walked away but was held back by Will and Allan. 'Robin!... This isn't over!' Guy bellowed as Allan punched him in the stomach sending him to the dirty ground.

'Robin put me down.' Marian moaned as she tried to get out of his arms.

'No Marian. I am taking you home. You are drunk and it is not safe for you to be out her alone at this time.' Robin answered sternly.

'Why? Why do you care? You don't care about me.' Marian laughed acidly.

'I do care Marian. That's what I have been trying to tell you.' Robin moaned.

'Then why kiss Sarah?' Marian bit.

'I didn't!.' Robin shouted before he could stop himself. 'You are so stubborn. If only you would stop and listen.' He added sighing.

'I do not need to listen to you. I have heard it all before. Your just the same, I was stupid to think that you were any different.' Marian argued looking away from his face.

Robin looked at her as her words ripped his heart apart. She didn't trust him. She believed him to be just like the rest of the low life scum that lived here.

'Oi Rob wait up.' Allan shouted as he, Will and Much ran to catch him up.

'She OK?' Will asked walking along side Robin.

'Yeah. Yeah she's fine.' Robin answered looking at the now sleeping body of Marian in his arms her words still echoing in his head.

'Well hello sexy imagine meeting you again.' Allan smirked as once again Lauren opened the door.

'Marian.' She gasped at the sight of her unconcious cousin in Robin's arms.

'We found her at the park drunk.' Robin replied.

'Good job Edwards not in.' Lauren sighed. 'Can you take her upstairs?' Lauren asked moving aside.

Robin nodded and walkedinto the house and began taking Marian upstairs.

'Her bedroom is the first on the right.' Lauren called up to him before closing the door and turning to face the other three boys. She looked to Allan who winked at her causing her to blush.

RHRHRHRHRH

Robin lay Marian down gently on her bed. She moaned a little in her sleep and frowned before turning slightly. Robin sighed as he leaned down and took off her shoes before putting her legs under the covers to keep her warm.

'I do love you Marian. I never wanted to hurt you.' Robin said sadly before he kissed her forehead and walked out of her room.

Marian opened her eyes and starred at the door when she heard it close a tear rolling down her face.

'Hey Rob Lauren says we can hang here for a bit.' Allan smiled from the living room when Robin came down the stairs. Robin said nothing just walked past the living room and began walking home.

'What was that about?' Lauren asked.

'Never mind him. I'm here.' Allan smriked.

Robin walked home as the thought attacked his head. Marian really hated him didn't she. How could she not believe him? Not even let him speak. He stopped at the corner of the street and looked back to her house. To her room window where the lay on. He could have sworn he turned it off. If she thought that he really was as bad as all the others, then maybe he was best to stay away from her. That would be doing her a favour. She would be better off without him. He sighed sadly with one last glance at the window before walking around the corner.

Marian pulled the covers from her and sat side ways in her bed, her feet sitting on the floor as she placed her head in her hands. She wanted to believe Robin she really did. But she had seen it with her own eyes. How could you deny that. She wished more than anything that she had Robin here and was laying in his arms, but she didn't. She had made her choice. She sighed as there was a light knock at the door.

'Come in.' Marian answered quietly.

'Hey.' Much smiled as he entered Marian's room uncomfortably. He had never been in a woman's room before. And he didn't think the first one he would be in would be his best friend's girlfriend. Or ex, or whatever they were now.

'Much.' Marian said surprised.

'I wanted to talk to you about Robin.' Much said pacing from foot to foot and looking at the floor.

Marian sighed. 'There is nothing to talk about.'

'I don't know what happened. He won't talk about it.' Much said sadly. 'But he said something tonight about Sarah. And I just wanted you to know that he hates her. She on the other hand is obbsessed with him. She will do anything to have him, she's crazy she thinks that they belong together.' Much rambled on.

Marian looked at Much as he spoke for once listening.

'He does care about you Marian.' Much said looking at Marian for the first time. 'I have never seem him smile the way he does when he smiles at you.' Much smiled. 'I thought you should know that.' He finished before he walked out of her room.

Marian sighed and fell to the floor. There were so many things being said that she could no longer hear herself think about the situation.

Robin moaned as he opened the door to the TV blarring as usual. This was his life. Here in this shit hole. Marian didn't belong here. He was holding her back.

'Maw am home!.' Robin shouted into the garbage can house. He kicked a box that had been left lying on the floor as he made his way through the house. He frowned when there was no mumble or grunt in reply. Which was his usual greeting. He tripped over her shoes that had been abandoned on the floor. He groaned and kicked them harshly out of the way to get into the living room. The living room was filled with darkness apart from the glow from the TV. IT was a tiny room that held only a couch and a TV. The couch was old and torn in several places as the many dark coloured blankets lay on the couch where his mother slept. The couch was empty which made Robin all the more confused. He was lucky if she left the room never mind vacate the couch. He walked forward to get a better look in the dark room. He gasped and dashed to his mother side. She was laying on the floor unconcious.

'Oh god maw what have you done?' Robin yelled as fear thrashed through him. 'Wake up.' He shouted as he gently slapped her face. She was ghostly and lifeless. He looked to her arm. The elastic band tight around her upper arm to allow the veins to become more visable for injection. The needle which was empty but still logged into her arm. He felt tears build in his eyes as he failed to wake her.

RHRHRHRHRH

Marian got dresses as usual making sure to wear appropriate clothing to cover her scars.Her head was killing her, and she really wanted to go back to bed and sleep forever, but she had to see Robin. She waited to see if Robin would come for her. But when it was past quarter to eight she decided that he had gone himself and had to leave before she was late herself. She hurried through the metal detector and over to her locker. She threw the appropriate books into her bag and slammed the door closed before running off to home room, which the bell had already gone for.

Marian walked into home room and everyone turned and looked at her. Unlike the day before this time she walked up the back and sat in her usual seat next to Robin. She frowned when she saw that his seat was empty.

'Where's Robin?' She whispered to Djaq.

'Don't know. I think he's running late.' Djaq replied quietly.

Marian frowned but nodded. Robin was not one to be late. Or well he had never been late in coming for her in the morning. Early if anything. She decided that she would visit him on the way home if he did not turn up.

Marian sighed as she closed her book in English as the bell went. Once again she was left to sit on her own as Robin had not appeared for the first three lessons of the day. Where was he?

'Hey look its Marian Sciossor hands.' Sarah joke as Marian walked past her

''Hey look its malibu barbie.' Marian turned mocking her. 'Except shes missing some parts.' Marian added indicating to her chest which was flat.

Sarah huffed and folded her arms across her chest in a protective stance as she watched Marian smirk and walk off.

Marian walked to her locker to put her books away before going for lunch. As soon as she opened the metal door to her locker it glinted at her. It was like a jewel. To her she adored it and needed it, depended on it even. Where as to others it was a mere object to facinate some but to be brushed aside by others. To Marian it was something precious, something she relied on in life. Because no matter what. At some point. Life always got to hard.

'Hey.'

Marian slammed the locker door closed as she heard Djaq's voice coming from the side of it.

'You OK?' Djaq asked frowning as she saw Marian slam the door close rather abruptly.

'Yeah fine.' Marian smiled turning to her. 'Robin still hasn't showed up though.'

'Oh Marian have you not heard yet.' Djaq said her face turning to one of shock.

'Heard what?' Marian asked feared by Djaq's expression.

'Robin's mum. She had to be rushed to hospital last night. Robin found her, she had overdosed.' Djaq explained.

Marian dropped her bag and ran from the school, lraving Djaq standing in shock.

She didn't even know where the hospital was, only that she had to get there. Robin needed her. She had been a fool lately. Making it all about her when she was forgetting Robin had his own problems to deal with. She sighed in relief when she saw a parked taxi.

'Hospital please.' She shouted out of breath as she jumped in the back.

The driver nodded and began driving down the street as Marian sat in the back and tried to catch her breath.

Marian jogged through the hospital doors, them slamming shut behind her.

'Is there a woman here by the name of Locksley.' Marian breathed as she ran up to the main desk.

The receptionist smiled as her before typing on her computer. 'Yes Laura Locksley is on floor two ward 14.' The receptionist answered.

She had barely finished before Marian ran for the elevator. The elevator doors opened on the second floor and Marian ran down the hall. She froze when she turned the corner to find Robin sitting on one of the leather seats. His head down as he played with a piece of string in his hands. Marian walked forward slowly. Her heart ached at seeing the hurt on his face. She almost stopped walking when Robin looked up into her eyes.

Robin heard the faint steps approaching. He raised his head slowly as a nurse rushed past him. He then looked down the corridor. His heart leaped when he saw her standing there, walking towards him. Her face was full of regret and sadness.

Marian almost smiled in relief when he stood to his feet and faced her. His face was sad and his eyes were red, showing that he had been crying. She walked forward uncertainly. She did not know how he felt towards her. Was he angry? Did he even want her here? But the look in his eyes explained it all. She walked forward briskly and pulled him into a deep hug. Robin wrapped his arms around her tight as he buried his head into her hair. He needed her now more than ever. Just being in her arms seemed to make everything OK.

'Where is she?' Marian whispered as she hugged him.

'In there.' Robin said nodding to the door they were standing outside as he pulled out of the hug.

'How is she?'

'The doctors said that she should be OK. But I have not been able to go in yet.' Robin whispered.

'Come on.' Marian smiled taking his hand and walking into the room.

She was in a single room, just herself as she slept. Marian was shocked at how pale she looked. She noticed the red arm, where she had injected the lethal drug. The machines around her beeped and buzzed almost in a synchronised dance.

'When will she wake up?' Marian whispered as she moved closer to the bed.

'I do not know.' Robin answered from where he stood at the bottom of the bed.

'I am sorry for my actions' Marian said turning to face him.

'It is OK. At least everything is fine now.' Robin answered starring at his mothers sleeping form.

'Yes. All that matters now is that I forgive you and we are fine and your mother is fine.' Marian smiled.

'Wait. You forgive me?' Robin asked frowning and turning his gaze to Marian.

'Yes. For kissing Sarah.' Marian laughed at his confusion.

Robin laughed dryly.

'Robin?' Marian asked now being the one that was confused.

'I did not kiss her!' Robin spoke more forcefuly.

'Well thats not what it looked like.' Marian said sarcastically.

'Marian I did not kiss her so do not think for one minute that I am going to take the blame for something that I did not do.' Robin bit.

'Look Robin I know that you are upset over what happened with your mother, so you probably just need time to think.' Marian sighed and tried to reason.

'No I do not need time to think. And if you had listened to me, and not had me running all over town trying to find you when you run off into the night with Gisbourne of all people. Then I would have been able to stay at home and keep an eye on my mother!' Robin shouted.

'So are you saying that this is my fault?' Marian asked beocming increasingly angry.

'This may not have happened if I hadn't had to worry about you.' Robin spat.

'No. The only reason this happened is because she has a son like you.' Marian snapped before barging out of the room and out of the hospital.

Robin groaned and punched the wall hard.

Marian slammed the house door closed. She was still angry about what Robin had said. Blaming her for his mothers overdose. How was it her fault. How could she be the one to blame for it. She picked up the note that sat on the table.

Gone out with Allan, see ya later hun.

Lauren xx

Marian scrunched it up into a ball and threw it on the floor. At least someone was having fun. She run up the stairs and barged into her room. She went to her on suite bathroom and ran the bath. She let the water run as she walked back into her room and got a piece of paper and pen and sat on the bed.

Doing the world a favour.

She scribbled on it quickly and threw it down on her neatly made bed. Her hands were shaking but not from fear, but anger. This was it. This was her freedom. She would no longer impose on the world. She would no longer cause tears or pain. Things would be better, brighter without her. They could all get on with their lives without having to worry about the train wreck that she was. They could wake up and smile without having to take a double look at her. She walked over to her underwear drawer and opened it. She gazed at the item she seeked. It was the only thing that liked her. That made her feel welcome...alive. She walked back into the bathroom, the bath now full. She turned the water off and stripped. She sighed as she placed her foot in the hot water. It tingled her skin. Waking the sleeping nerves. She held onto the sides of the cold ceramic as she lowered her full body into the water. She smiled and closed her eyes as it warmed her neck and back. She had to tell the truth. And the truth was that she would miss Robin. She would miss everyone. But Robin the most. He had been the only man to ever make her feel special. She did not need a blade to feel life when she was with him. He had truly allowed her to love in this life. Which was something some people never got to experience no matter how long they lived. She smiled when the water had softened her skin. It was time now. She reached over to the small table and lifted the blade into her wet wrinkled hand. She lay deeper into the water so it was just below her chin. She held her right hand up in front of her. She starred at the vein that was so easily viewable on her wrist. She placed the blade ontop of her skin. With one deep breath she pulled the blade across, leaving a deep red gash across he wrist. She gasped as the blood poured uncontrollably down her arm and into the water making a pool of blood around her. She raised her left wrist and mirrored the same action. Once more the blood escaped her like a fountain. Her breaths become harder and faster as she felt her body become weaker. Then she slipped down under the water, and all that was left were the red bubbles.