Chapter 6: Gary Stu – The Stu Strikes Back
"I don't suppose your boss told you how I like things done," said Jadu after the door shut behind the Wookie. "I should probably explain my preferences before we begin."
"Um, ok, but first, uh," Donna frantically looked around the room for anything that could give her precious time. Her gaze fell on the nearby bar. "First, could we have some drinks while we chat? You don't even know my name yet."
"I don't really see how your name is relevant, but I guess it's early enough to talk for a while. The drinks are coming out of your fee though."
Cheap twat thought Donna.
Once she got passed the initial burning sensational sensation and the blue color, the alcohol in this galaxy actually wasn't so bad. They certainly did wonders for the sinuses.
"So," said Donna after a couple sips, "If my name is so inconsequential, let's talk about you. I take it you're worth quite a lot of credits." They sat down together on a nearby bench. Donna tried to keep as much space between them as she thought she could without raiding suspicion.
"You could say that." Jadu brightened at the prospect of talking about himself. With any luck, his ego would keep the conversation going long enough. "You wouldn't believe how jealous some people are of my wealth though. It's pathetic, really."
Donna nodded for him to continue as she carefully rationed her drink to last as long as possible.
"There's this one guy," he continued. "Man, I can't believe we were ever friends! I'm telling you, the guy is the biggest loser I've ever met. He gave me all this crap about power getting to my head after I inherited everything. Can you believe that? But it won't matter soon enough."
Donna continued to nod when suddenly what he just said sunk in. "Why won't it matter?"
At this, Jadu slid along the bench until he could lean over her, his face inches from hers. "Sweetie, as I'm sure you've heard, I've taken up some side jobs as what some might call a bounty hunter. Me, I prefer the term 'contractor.' Long story short, it turns out this old friend of mine ruffled some influential feathers."
"But why turn your friend in? You just said how rich you are."
"Yeah, but here's the thing: when you're your parents' sole heir, you don't just inherit their assets. Their debts are part of the package. That's the problem with having Jedi relatives. They're always spending money they don't have on charities. But if I bring him in alive, I'll be set for life and gain a Hutt as an invaluable ally. Besides, sitting around this house all day would be rather boring. I need a job to keep me from going insane."
Too late, Donna thought. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "But what if you don't catch him?"
"I suppose I could try to find that old Jedi and seek his training in exchange for payment of the family debt. But I will catch my old friend, mark my words." Jadu turned his attention from Donna to a switch on the opposite wall. His brow furrowed in concentration for a moment then suddenly the switch moved as if by itself. Donna couldn't help but jump as the floor directly in front of her opened up to reveal a large pit. It gave off an unearthly chill. "As you can see," said Jadu, "I'm quite capable, even without formal training in force. He'll be frozen in no time." With a wave of his hand the floor closed.
"You see, when I was a kid, an old man came to me and I and said I was supposed to be the 'Chosen One,' or something like that. I don't remember his name, but I think it was something like 'Oboe.' Anyway, he said I had to come with him for Jedi training and in exchange I would never want for anything. I told him to screw off, but you know what? I know now he was right about one thing. I was destined for greatness, even if it wasn't in the way he intended."
Donna was starting to panic. "But why are you telling me all this?"
Jadu smirked, leaning in even further. "You didn't think I'd tell some random whore all this, did you?" At this, he abruptly turned to face the door. "You can stop listening at the door now, Solo."
Not a second later, a burst of blaster fire could be heard coming from the other side of the door. It slid open to reveal Han, closely followed by the Doctor and Susan.
"You guys were listening for quite some time, weren't you? Waiting for the right time to strike? There's never a good time to strike me. As usual, you underestimate my precognition, Solo. Was this really the best plan you could come up with?"
Donna ran to meet her friends and Susan, making sure to step around where she knew the opening was. "If you saw this coming, why did you even let me in? Why did you drag it on?" Donna snapped.
The Jedi shrugged. "I just wanted to see how far I could get with you before they showed up. Honestly, I was kinda disappointed; you were so frigid."
Han didn't want to waste anymore time. He charged, blaster ready to fire and stepped directing into the center of the room.
"No!" cried Donna "Han don't step-"
But it was too late. The floor gave way beneath him. Donna barely had enough time to reach down for him to grab her wrist with his free hand. She almost fell in herself, but managed to find some traction with her feet. She expected the Doctor to come to their aid, but as she turned to look behind her, she saw him and Susan standing to the side, without a shred of concern on their faces. Donna found her balance and began to pull Han out. She looked up to see Jadu laughing at them.
It was at that moment that Donna had her epiphany. She knew what she had to do.
She just hoped the drop below was long enough.
"Han," she said, "I am so sorry."
With that, Donna let her feet loose their grip. As she was plunged into the carbonite, Donna closed her eyes, but not in anticipation of a landing; she didn't want to see Han's face as they fell. Above her, she could just make out the Doctor's yells over the roar of Jadu's laughter.
She must not have been falling more than a few feet when she could no longer feel Han's panicked grip on her wrist. A split second later, she slammed into a hard metal surface. The Doctor's voice grew louder than ever. It was only after Donna realized she was no longer cold that she knew her plan had worked.
She opened her eyes slowly and gave out a sigh a relief. The three of them were back in the TARDIS. As usual, they were being thrown about, but for once, Donna didn't mind it. It landed a moment later, but before she could catch her breath, Donna found herself being flung into the console.
"What do you think you're playing at, Darla? We needed Solo!" The Doctor shook her gruffly as she lay of the floor.
"What am I playing at?" Donna retorted. "What are you playing at? In case you didn't notice, we're back in the TARDIS. That means Han and everyone else are fine. Come on, this isn't like you!
"Look, you said we needed to cause a second paradox, right? Well, while you two were ogling each other in the back of the room, I was putting the pieces together. Do you know why Jadu ultimately became a Jedi? Hm? Either of you?"
The Doctor let go and the two of them stood up. Donna glanced back and forth at the Doctor and Susan who stood by the doors, as far from the conflict as she could get. They both looked dumbfounded.
"It turns out," said Donna, "That life as a Jedi was his second choice. Jadu preferred the infamy of Jabba's number one a bounty hunter. The author clearly intended for Han to escape. I knew I couldn't let that happen."
The Doctor took a step back as this revelation sunk in. "Of course!" he exclaimed. "I heard nearly all of your conversation. Why didn't I figure it out?"
"I don't know," said Donna as she crossed her arms, "Why didn't you? It's not like I've gotten any smarter of past couple days. The creep practically had to spell it out before I connected the dots. I'm telling you, Doctor, normally you'd have figured this sort of thing way before me. It's your job to go all Sherlock and see some tiny shred of evidence and deduce the whole thing."
The Doctor's face clouded over in deep concern. "It is so strange, Donna. It's almost as if I'm-"
"Hey!" Susan interrupted. "Listen!" She pointed towards the doors behind her.
Outside there came the distant voice of a young boy. He seemed to be calling the same name over and over.
The name was Susan.
