Lie To Me

Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV

A/N - So, here's chapter seven. I haven't even attempted to proof read, it is probably littered with typos plus my word is annoying, it changes words whenever it feels like it BUT! I'm tired, over worked and sleep deprived thanks to my latest bring idea of a new dog! So I thought I should upload it anyway. Enjoy!


Lie of why you're leavin' early

Deny that you're in any hurry
Cry and tell me not to worry
'Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me.


After his altercation with Jackson in the toilets Aaron had slowly made is way back into the main foyer of the club. "You want me, come out" Jackson's words kept replaying over and over in his head. He made it sound so easy, like it was that easy? If it had been that easy doesn't Jackson think that he would have done it during the past four years? It wasn't easy. Far from it. Tears were stinging his eyes as he fought to keep them contained.

"Alright mate?"

Turning towards the unfamiliar voice he found Darren looking at him with a concerned expression "You alright?"

Before Aaron can open his mouth to reply Jackson butts in, appearing from nowhere "He's fine" Jackson reassures his boyfriend, kissing him quickly on the lips. Aaron practically snarls at the move, Darren doesn't notice but Jackson does, he ignores it and says "He's had too much to drink"

Jackson grabs Aaron's leather jacket from one of the chairs and thrusts it into his arms "Aaron was going home to sober up, weren't you Aaron?" he asks.

"Don't think I was" Aaron replies with a forced smirk "Thought I'd stay here, get drunk and punch someone" he informs the two men. Earning him a confused and worried look from Darren "What you looking at?" he barks at the older man, stepping forward. Darren didn't back down but he didn't have to because Jackson stepped in-between the two of them "Go home Aaron"

Aaron stepped back a hurt look flashing over him before he quickly replaced it with a frown. Jackson was sure someone just stabbed him in the heart. The look of rejection in Aaron's eyes was about to floor him and he was the one that put it there. Using all the willpower and strength he had he said "Go Aaron" one final time before turning and pushing Darren away from the mechanic "Should we leave him? He looks wasted"

"He's a big boy" Jackson says "he can handle himself"

Aaron watched as Jackson walked away, after telling him to go. His heart felt as if it had just dropped into his stomach. Jackson had clearly meant what he said, until he came out, publicly there would be no them.

Xxx

Aaron's weekend started off bad but it progressively got worse. He'd gone home, straight from Bar West after storming out in a mood at Jackson telling him to go and hadn't woken up until gone midday on the Saturday. He'd woken up to a text from Adam asking where he had disappeared to, he didn't answer it. He didn't really have an answer and he was sure he would see him at some point that day anyway.

He had a plan for the rest of the weekend and it involved lots of alcohol and his bed. That was it, he didn't want anything else. He wanted to drown his sorrows and hope that on Monday he woke up a different person or at least feeling a different way.

Sitting in the Woolpack with his second pint of the Saturday afternoon Aaron couldn't help but groan as the door pushed open and in walked Hazel, Jackson and Darren. It would be fine, he told himself because he was sitting with Paddy and they would sit at a table, in their own, right? Wrong. Before the thought had even left his head Paddy was calling out to them

"Hazel, Jackson! Over here"

"Paddy!" he hissed, wondering what the older man was up to. He knew his history with Jackson but the vet just shot him a look and Aaron prayed that right there and then the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

Jackson seemed to be protesting against sitting with them. Good, Aaron thought, he didn't want to sit with him either, not whilst Darren was there anyway. Hazel, in the end won just like she always did and the three of them quickly joined them at the bar.

Aaron had to shuffle along the seat to allow Darren and Jackson to sit, he did, begrudgingly. Silently he prayed that Jackson would be the one sitting in the middle. He did want to sit with Darren because then he might have to make small talk with the guy. His prayers were answered when Jackson slipped in before Darren.

"I'll get the drinks" Hazel announced in her usual upbeat way. Aaron pulled a face and continues to stare at his pint.

Paddy makes small talk as Jackson introduces him to Darren. Everytime the word "boyfriend" comes out of Jackson's mouth Aaron wants to be sick and whilst he's trying to stop himself from being sick he misses the look on Darren's face. Darren is wondering what is going on with Jackson. As far as he was concerned he wasn't his boyfriend, they were over, yeah they'd been having fun but Jackson had dumped him before coming back to Emmerdale, what was he playing at? He made a mental note to ask him later, away from their audience.

Hazel comes back to the table with their drinks in hand. Small talk is quickly made, chatting and laughing, all of which didn't include Aaron and he was glad. He wasn't in the mood to chat. He would happily sit there drinking his pints all night, if only he didn't have to sit there with Jackson and his boyfriend.

"So what about you happiness?" Hazel finally says, talking to him "You and Holly split up? What happened there?"

"It's over, end of" he barks at her, shrugging his shoulders "what else is there to say"

"Do you wonder why she let a little ray of sunshine like you go?" she retorts, a small smile on her face.

Aaron's eyes narrow at her but he doesn't answer her question because, well, he doesn't have an answer "leave him Mum" Jackson butts in "can't you see the poor guy is pining, ain't that right Aaron?" he asks slapping his hand down onto Aaron's thigh.

"Something like that" he mumbles. His pint is finished. He wants another one but he doesn't want to ask Jackson and Darren to move, plus there's the fact that he didn't want to buy Darren one.

"Want another?" Darren asked, noticing the empty glass "Uh…" Aaron stutters, thrown by the question "thanks" he says, forcing himself to smile at the older guy "No worries"

"Nice boy" Hazel says nodding in Darren's direction "Amazing" Aaron mutters under his breath, was there anyone who didn't like this guy? Apart from him, it seemed not.

Xxx

Eventually Hazel and Paddy move from their table over to a table with people more their age range, as Adam appears with Mia in two "Just what I need" Aaron mumbles but Jackson hears "Cheer up eh?" he snaps at the mechanic, sick of his moody face.

"Shut up"

"You shut up" Jackson counters

"No…You…"

"The both of you shut up!" Holly says, laughing and shaking her head at them.

Aaron gets up, moves away from them and sits a table on his own. He wants to be on his own and he contemplates going back to Smithy but he's enjoying the noise. Sitting in a quiet house, he knows would drive him more insane than watching Jackson and Darren pawing at each other.

Twenty minutes later, Adam tells him to get his ass back to their table. He wasn't sitting on his own, drowning in his own misery. He'd agreed, only to avoid an argument and he was happy to find that Ryan and Debbie had also joined them.

Once again he found himself sitting by Jackson, only this time, he was slightly more drunk and he didn't mind it quite so much, even if Darren wasn't that far away from him.

Under the table Aaron's hand found it's way onto Jackson's thigh. Jackson jumped at the unexpected contact, his eyes widening. "You alright?" Darren asked, seeing Jackson's surprise "Oh yeah, fine" he nods quickly. Turning to glare at Aaron but Aaron is now talking to Ryan about cars.

Jackson tries to move Aaron's hand without drawing attention to him or them but Aaron's hand wasn't for budging, in fact it slips further between his legs, wedging itself between both of his thighs.

Jackson wished that he could hate the touch, that he could tell himself he didn't want it but he did. God how he wanted Aaron, in every sense of the word.

Aaron was rather pleased with himself and couldn't help but smile, well grin. Noticing Aaron's grin Jackson decides that two can play that game and he too slips his hand onto Aaron's thigh, only his hand is slightly more adventurous than Aaron's and he has Aaron squirming in his seat.

Within seconds Jackson knew he had the upper hand and Aaron's hand quickly slipped from his thigh. Jackson couldn't help but smirk, score one to him.

Xxx

Sunday was worse than Saturday. Jackson had planned on staying in, avoiding the pub and the general village to stay away from Aaron but Darren was curious and he wanted to see what the village had to offer, especially when he had heard that there was a game of rounder's in the field. He was up for it and Jackson went along, he couldn't let him go on his own, could he?

He knew he would be there, of course he would but what he didn't expect was to find him hitting on Amy, not only was he hitting on her but it looked as if he was getting somewhere. He wasn't sure if the mechanic has seen him or not, either way he didn't care, what was he playing at? He had told him on Friday, just two days ago that he wanted and what? Now he was back to playing it straight?

Jackson didn't fancy a game, so he sat on the sidelines. Aaron was still pursuing Amy and still unaware that Jackson was there, that Jackson could see him. Jackson felt a nudge of on his arm, he turned to see Clyde standing at the side of him "Hey boy!" he says petting the dog, who eventually sits down by his side and falls asleep watching the game with him.

Aaron hadn't planned on hitting on Amy, but she was there and she was flirting with him, Jackson had knocked him back, so he thought, why not?

"Seen Clyde?" he asks her, suddenly aware that his dog was nowhere near him "with Jackson" she said flippantly

Aaron's eyes widened. Jackson was here which meant he had no doubt seen him flirt with Amy Crap, he thought he's not going to talk to me.

Without a word Aaron sits down beside Jackson on the grass, Clyde inbetween the two of them "shouldn't you be chatting up Amy" he asks, not taking his eyes off of the game in front of him

"Jackson…" Aaron sighs but he has no other words. He can't justify himself, can he? Jackson is the only person he ever feels he has to justify himself to.

Jackson turns out him, anger and hurt clear to see and hear "Forget it Aaron. Forget what I said the other night, forget us, forget everything. Keep pretending you're straight. I couldn't care less anymore"

Jackson gets up and walks away "Jackson!" he calls out, trying to stop him which earns him look from some of the villagers and disturbs a sleeping Clyde

"What you looking at?" he barks at the older generation who were now staring at him.

It took him half an hour before he got Jackson on his own again "What are saying?" he demanded to know

"I'm saying we're done. Us" he points between the two of them "Is done. Over. Amy can have you"

Aaron watched him walk away. He didn't want Amy. He wanted him. "Clyde!" he called on his dog before walking home, he couldn't be around anyone. He would end up hitting someone.

Xxx

It was Wednesday and Jackson was ignoring him. He wouldn't talk or look in his direction. Aaron hated it. Jackson hated it but he was doing it. He couldn't keep letting Aaron Livesy hurt him and every time he saw him chat up some girl, it hurt. He was still continuing with his plan though, kind of anyway. Darren was in Emmerdale until Saturday then...well Jackson wasn't sure, he didn't think he wanted the other guy. He had only invited him to wind Aaron up and it had worked; only Jackson had ended up being the one most wound up.

"Alright?"

Jackson had been standing in his garden, he needed some air. Darren was still fast asleep in bed and Aaron was on his way to work. Jackson ignored Aaron as he tried to make small talk.

"Sooner or later you're going to have to talk to me"

Again, he was ignored.

"Jackson!" he snaps, closing the distance between them "I'm sorry about Amy alright? I was stupid. You did turn me down"

Fixing him with a stare Jackson recounts what he actually said to the mechanic "I told you to come out. You decided to hit on Amy. Your loss" turning he heads back into Dale Head, leaving a dejected Aaron in his wake.

The mechanic couldn't sleep at night for thinking about Jackson. OK, so most of the time he couldn't sleep for imagining what Jackson was doing with Darren in a bed that they used to share but more often than not he couldn't sleep just because he missed him. He missed him like mad.

Man up Aaron, come out that's what he keeps telling himself but it just can't happen. He's not the strong, maybe with Jackson but not without him and he wasn't about to have Jackson until he came out. He couldn't win either way.

Unseen by them Darren was at the bedroom window. Jackson had been distant, different to how he had been at University. He had always suspected that Jackson had baggage in the village but when he had invited him, he'd jumped at the chance. He'd missed him but it was becoming clear that Jackson only had him there to make someone jealous. In bed, they slept. That was it, nothing more but outside of bed, outside of the house Jackson was all over him.

Xxx

Friday morning and Jackson is having car trouble "need a hand?" Aaron asks, coming from the garage only to be ignored "you're useless with cars, move" he says trying to push Jackson out of the way only to be pushed right back "do one" Jackson barks at him "I don't need your help"

Aaron lifts his eyebrows, giving Jackson a look "how else you gonna find out what's wrong with it then?"

"You're not the only mechanic in Emmerdale"

"True" Aaron agrees "but I am the only one that fancies you enough not to charge you, now move" Aaron says, trying to see in the engine again "Go away Aaron" Jackson barks out.

"No" Aaron says defiantly. Jackson may have been ignoring him all week but he wasn't going anywhere now, at all.

Jackson doesn't want to give in but he thinks he's going to have to, his car won't start, Aaron is a mechanic, it kind of makes sense but before he can say anything else Darren walks out "What's up?"

"Van won't start" Jackson informs him "Trying to fix it"

"I'm going to fix it" Aaron butts in, smirking at Jackson "No your not, I never said you could touch my van"

Aaron shrugs "I said I could, now move, builder boy"

"Architect now" Jackson points out but Aaron merely grins "We both know you'd rather be a builder, now, excuse me. I have to find out what's up with your van"

Darren stands by the door watching them and suddenly everything falls into place for him. It was him. Why hadn't he seen it before? Aaron was the one that Jackson was crazy about. Aaron was the one he was here to make jealous. How stupid was he that he hadn't seen it before?

"Jackson, can we talk?"

Ending his staring competition with Aaron Jackson follows Darren back inside.

"What's up?"

Darren has his back to him "It's him, isn't it?"

"what?"

Turning to face him, a sad smile on his face "When we were together I knew there was someone you were hung up on, then, after we graduated you dumped me"

"I needed space"

"Then last week you invite me here, i thought it was strange but now i know why"

Jackson bites his lip "Are you in love with him?" Darren asks "Who?" Jackson asks quickly and Darren shakes his head "the temperamental mechanic out there, the one I'm here to make jealous, do you love him?"

Jackson merely nods

"Did it work?"

Again, he nods.

"He's not out I'm guessing"

"He's scared" Jackson tells him "He...he's thinking about his reputation"

"He loves you too"

Jackson scoffs "doubt it"

Darren shrugs "looks like it. Thinking back now, the way he looks at you, I'd say he's in love with you"

Xxx

Aaron is outside he had just fixed the car, it wasn't anything major that was wrong with it when a taxi pulled up and beeped its horn. A few minutes later out came Darren carrying his rucksack, he stops in front of him and says "You're lucky" then gets in the taxi.

Aaron has no idea what he means, but turning he sees Jackson staring at him "You alright?"

"No" Jackson says coming towards him "You've ruined my life" he tells the mechanic "He's a good guy but I couldn't give him anything because I was in love with you"

Aaron's eyes widen

"Yeah Aaron. LOVE! But don't worry. I'm not now, you've seen to that"

"Jackson..."

Jackson is too angry to listen "He's gone because of you, I couldn't be with him because of you. Because I wanted you but you clearly didn't and don't want me enough to come out. You'd rather hit on girls you don't even fancy and will never fancy"

Aaron is too stunned to do anything apart from listen

"But carry on playing it straight Aaron because I mean it, we're through. I don't want you"

"Jack..."

"I would have helped you, I would have been there but now you're on your own. Having a nice straight life Aaron because I want nothing more to do with you. We're not friends, lovers or anything, forget I exist"

Jackson storms away, slamming his house door as he does so. Aaron is left stunned into silence. Had he lost Jackson for good? He was so. He'd never seen him so angry before. What was he going to do?

Xxx

Walking away from Jackson's van Aaron was numb, he didn't know what he was feeling but he knew he was numb. He couldn't feel anything; he didn't want to feel anything. Jackson had just ended them, for good. They were done. Jackson no longer wanted him, if Jackson had given up on him, on them, what did he have? A life that would be normal, a wife, kids but was that what he wanted? Could he pretend for years that he was in love with a woman? That he fancied her? He didn't know but now, now it looked like that was exactly what he was going to do.

He was glad to be alone at the garage for once, because the hurt he was feeling turned to anger, which quickly escalated into rage. He was angry at himself, at Jackson, at being gay he was just angry at everything.

He was taking his frustrations out on a car when Adam pulled up on his quad "Whoa" he says "What's up with you?"

"Nowt" Aaron barks "What do you want?" he snaps at his best friend and Adam jumps off the quad, crossing the distance between the two of them. He sighs, he knows what's wrong with Aaron and its time to tell him he knows

"Had an argument with Jackson?"

Aaron's head snaps around, his eyes going wide "Why would I have an argument with Jackson and why would that put me in a bad mood?" he barks, turning back to the car, whacking it with his hammer, easing some of his frustrations and some of his anger.

"I know" Adam says, straigtening up and ready for whatever Aaron has to do or say.

For split second Aaron doesn't move, until he forces himself to turn around, to face his best friend, telling himself that Adam couldn't know that.

"You know what?" he asks, staring at him

"'Bout you and Jackson, about you"

"I don't know what you're on about" Aaron says, laughing, his voice cracking a little.

"I know your gay" Adam says, putting it out there, admitting it after all these years.

"Jackson's gay, not me" Aaron says, turning away, feeling a stab in his stomach. How did Adam know?

"What did he say? Did you argue?" Adam says, ignoring Aaron's words "I'm not gay!" Aaron snaps, getting in Adam's face now "Gonna hit me?" Adam asks, that won't make you feel better "I've always known Aaron, i'm alright with it, other people will be alright with it. Come out"

"Never gonna happen" Aaron snaps without thinking, his eyes going wide when he realises he's practically just admitted it.

"Then you'll never be happy" the farmer tells him "You want to be sad, lonely and angry all your life that's up to you. But whatever Jackson said to you it's probably true"

Xxx

Five thirty came and Aaron was closing up. Adam's words, Jackson's words and Paddy's words kept spinning in his head. He didn't know what to do, which way to turn. He was lost, he had just lost everything he had ever wanted because he was scared, him that scared to be scared of nothing was scared of admitting who he really was. He wasn't himself, he wasn't thinking straight, which is why, once he'd closed up, locked up, he sat in a car, with the engine running inside the locked garage and didn't move...he wanted to feel nothing. He wanted the hurting and the confusion to go away.

Adam couldn't concentrate, he kept thinking about Aaron. He looked so lost, so hurt. He had no idea what had gone on between him and Jackson but obviously something had. He had to do something, get them to talk, anything. Without a word to anyone on the farm he jumped back on his quad and made for the village.

Adam pulls into the village, checks Smithy to find out Aaron was there, instead he goes to the garage but he shouldn't be there still, not at this time. Pulling up outside the garage he can see it's closed up, but something makes him get off the quad. He can't hear the faint ticking of an engine, killing his own he swings of the bike, walking to peer through the window. That's when he sees it, smoke. Lots of smoke. Trying the door, he finds it locked, the sinking feeling in his stomach is telling him Aaron is still inside, looking through the window again this time he sees his silhouette inside the car

"AARON!" he roars.

Jackson had been in the living room, watching tv when he heard the commotion, despite himself he went to investigate, to find Adam kicking at the door of the garage "Cain'll kill you" he teases "Aaron's in there!" Adam roars "it's filled with smoke.

Jackson is frozen, he doesn't know what to do, what was Aaron doing? Suddenly though his feet were moving and he was helping

"Oi!" they heard Cain shout, just as the door caved "what you doing?"

"It's Aaron!" Adam said again and Jackson couldn't move once again. Cain rushed past him, going to help Adam drag Aaron's body from the car "Call an ambulance!" Cain roared at him "I'm going to find Paddy and Chas"

Cain took off and Jackson had his phone out, calling the ambulance, all the while watching as his friend worked on the man he loved. He wasn't breathing, it didn't look like he was breathing.

It was all his fault...he knew it was all his fault. He'd caused Aaron to try and take his own life.

Adam continued to work on Aaron, waiting on the ambulance, on help, all the while thinking this is all my fault.


A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT ME TO CONTINUE? REVIEW! THEY INSPIRE ME! NOTHING ELSE IS LATELY.