McGonagall is a bit OOC in this chapter, but you have to admit that you TOTALLY can see her doing this.


The entire school was abuzz with rumors that Sunday evening.

"I heard that Myrddin Emrys is a werewolf! And he tried to kill Colin and Sprout and Hermione before Hermione used a spell to kill him but she got turned into a werewolf in the process -"

"Don't be stupid, Dumbledore wouldn't allow werewolves into the school -"

"I heard that Filch blames Gryffindor house for his wedding and he's going after them in revenge -"

"I heard that all four of them are in a secret Muggle cult and they're trying to take over the school -"

"Do you hear how silly you all sound? Obviously this was staged by Dumbledore so that he could have an excuse to slip the Petrified students love potions -"

"Malfoy, what the HELL."

"I heard that Filch is trying to find a spell to turn Norris into a human so that he can snog her properly without bits of fur getting in the way -"

"George, that is disgusting."

"I didn't say it was true..."

And on and on the rumor mill went. A strange number of rumors seemed to be still circulating around Filch and Mrs. Norris, despite the fact that four people had lost their memory and there was a petrifying lunatic on the loose. The only substantial speculation was that the Chamber of Secrets had opened -and several of the Ravenclaws had done some digging (in the library) and figured out that an Heir of Slytherin was involved.

And it was that evening that Merlin, Colin and Hermione traipsed into the Great Hall and plopped down near their respective years, having been reluctantly released from the Hospital Wing by Madame Pomfrey. There had been nothing wrong with them, after all, save for general mental confusion.

Each one was immediately bombarded with questions.

"I heard that you're all ghosts now, but the goblins solidified you -"

"Is it true? They told me you needed birth cream to do it -"

"...and that the cucumber enthusiasts are coming!" One triumphant third-year finished, gazing hopefully into Merlin's eyes.

Merlin frowned. "Sorry, what? Cucumbers?"

"MYRDDIN!" A familiarly jolly voice bellowed, and Merlin winced at the trumpeting in his ear. He turned to find two redheads and a darker-skinned boy grinning at him. "We missed you, mate."

Merlin grinned. "I was only gone for a day!"

Lee shrugged. "What, and we can't miss you for a day?" The boy grinned. "Come on, hurry up with your food."

There was a mischievous edge to all three boy's expressions, and Merlin shrugged as he hurriedly finished the potatoes he had spooned himself.

"Now," Fred said clandestinely after the meal had been finished, mostly, and they were out of the Great Hall on their way up to the Gryffindor tower. "A lot's happened since you've been gone."

"We've talked."

"We've planned."

"Some about you, actually."

"Mostly about Lockhart."

Lockhart. He hadn't actually been to one of the Defense classes yet (ahem, wand) but he'd heard stories of how awful the teacher actually was. He'd also heard of how the DADA position was jinxed or whatnot, and wanted to see it firsthand.

"You see, we've made this, ah...list..."


Minerva McGonagall watched the Gryffindor quartet exit from the Great Hall behind narrowed bespectacled eyes. Dumbledore had given her hidden orders when she'd met with him after Myrddin and Colin had been Petrified.

When the boy wakes up, I'd like you to keep tabs on him," Dumbledore had instructed. This loosely translated to "When Myrddin wakes up, follow him. As a cat. In your free time!"

Well, she was finished with her cooked asparagus. And she could always grade those bird-to-butter Transfiguration papers later...

The corner of Minerva's lip twitched upwards. She was trying, really hard, not to grin excitedly. She just loved when Dumbledore gave her permission to stalk the students.

Casually, the Transfiguration teacher withdrew from her chair and slipped from the Great Hall through the back door. No one saw her go.

It took her quite a while to find Emrys. She hadn't transformed (it would raise questions from the students who did recognize her form) and so she was slower and had duller senses than she would have otherwise liked. Nevertheless, she found Myrddin, along with the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan, loitering in the hallway outside of the Gryffindor tower several minutes after she had set out in search of them.

Honestly, she wasn't quite sure what to do now that she'd found him (she couldn't very well follow Myrddin now, he wasn't moving). She hadn't planned this far. And she wouldn't really have a reason to be skulking.

"Professor?" Came the impishly timid voice of George Weasley. "We were wondering...can we, uh..." He stuttered to a halt, looking guilty.

"We've been locked out of the tower," Myrddin explained impatiently. "I was in the Hospital Wing when the password was changed and they weren't paying attention." Here, he sent an accusing glare at his fellow troublemakers, who shifted sheepishly.

McGonagall took the hint and gave the password. With thanks, the boys slipped inside the portrait hole, and she watched them go.

When the door clicked firmly shut behind them, McGonagall raised her wand.

"Vigilamotus," the witch whispered softly with a gentle swish, and a slightly pale aura drifted across her wand to settle across the door.

Pleased with her work, McGonagall turned heel and strode swiftly back down the hall, in the direction of her office.

If Myrddin Emrys left the Gryffindor tower from now on, she would know.

Every time.


Merlin grinned as he signed the Anti-Lockhart paper with a flourish.

"One more signature down, only a hundred to go," the warlock sighed in mock longing. The others grinned.

"Ah, it won't be too hard," George assured him. "I mean, half the school already thinks he's a nutter..."

"The male half, you mean."

George just shrugged in a way that could easily mean agreement or the opposite.

Most of the rest of Gryffindor house were pouring in now, having just gotten finished with supper. Ron, Hermione and Harry climbed in through the Gryffindor portrait hole as well, and promptly moved across the room to sit with the Mavericks.

Merlin was uncomfortable around the trio. They obviously didn't trust him. Ron just didn't seem to like him, Hermione was constantly trying to figure him out, and Harry...he didn't really know what was going on in Harry's mind.

Hermione plopped down right next to him, and Merlin actually had to force himself not to edge away from the witch nervously.

"Tho ah you thill thying that Lockhawt thing, then?" Ron asked the twins with his mouth full as he caught sight of the paper that they were putting away. So are you still trying that Lockhart thing, then?

The twins seemed to realise what Ron had said, and they shook their heads frantically as Hermione looked away to scrutinize Ron.

"Lockhart thing?" She frowned. "What Lockhart thing?"

Ron gulped, realising his mistake. "Um...well..." Ron couldn't think of a comeback fast enough, and raised his hands in surrender quickly. "I had no part in it! It was them!" He pointed an accusing finger at the four Mavericks.

Hermione shifted her glare. "What did you do to Lockhart?" She hissed in a dangerously low tone.

Four boys shifted with poorly-concealed guilt.

"Nothing, yet," Merlin supplied hesitantly.

"Yet?" Hermione hissed. "Yet? What are you going to do to Lockhart?"

"Um."

"Erm..."

"Yeah, well, see, that..."

"Nice going, Ron," Fred muttered from the corner of his mouth to his younger brother. Ron just flushed a deep pink, but didn't say a word for fear that Hermione would remember that he still existed.

Hermione dug her hand into George's bookbag and pulled out a now-crumpled sheet of parchment. She smoothed it out and read it, her eyes flying across the paper and growing more livid with each line.

When she finished, she crumpled up the paper in her fist, and ignored the protests of the Weasley twins.

"I'm taking this to Professor McGonagall," Hermione glared at them all. "You're lucky I don't throw it in the fire."

With that said, Hermione turned on her heel and stomped out of the common room. The portrait door closed with a deafening BANG.

"Well," Harry remarked, and didn't say anything else.

The rest all thought that the word summed up the situation quite nicely.


"Fred."

"ZzzzzzZZZZZ."

"Fred!"

"ZZ."

Merlin punched the sleeping boy, hard, in the arm.

"Ghaggh!" Fred woke up with wild look in his eyes, roaring furiously as he made ready to lunge at his attacker. Merlin backed up quickly.

"Hey! No, Fred, calm down! It's just me."

The redhead blinked furiously, as if trying to get Merlin in focus. After a few moments, he squinted at the young-not-so-young warlock.

"Whatimizzit?"

Merlin just shrugged. "Midnight, ish."

"Whaddyawant?"

"I need the Map. The Marauder's Map."

"Trunk," Fred grunted helpfully, turning around to pull the covers over his head and go back to sleep.

Merlin pulled the covers off. "No, like, I need you to activate it for me. Please?"

Fred seemed to have woken up a bit more with the loss of his covers. "Do it yourself..."

Merlin pulled the Map from behind his back. "I don't know the password."

Fred frowned. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he told Merlin. "Just tap it with your wand and say that."

Merlin shook his head and handed Fred the map, and Fred's wand, which was lying out on his bedside table. "It's dark, I can't find my wand. Please, just do it."

Fred grudgingly did as Merlin asked and handed him back the map, which was now filling itself with inky lines and small-printed words.

"Thanks," Merlin grinned. Fred grunted again and promptly fell back asleep with a pillow over his face. He'd been too tired to even ask what Merlin had needed the map for, which Merlin was glad about.

Silently, Merlin crept from the portrait hole with his eyes on the Marauder's Map. He was half-invisible, but knew that if he ran into Mrs. Norris somewhere, she would be able to sniff him out, so he had to be careful.

(Elsewhere in the castle, McGonagall woke to a chiming noise emitted from her wand.)

Clues, Merlin drilled in his head. Clues, clues, clues. Where would I find clues?

After successfully skirting around a shambling Filch and surreptitiously passing McGonagall's office, Merlin found himself on the second floor.

Specifically, on the second floor before a very familiar girls' bathroom.

DNA sample? Scuff marks, or a dropped accessory?

None of the above -he cast a quick spell on the hallway, finding nothing. No cleaning spells or forensic evidence. There was, however, another substance covering the floor, that struck Merlin to be very odd.

Water.

The ground was wet, just barely, like it had been flooded but then had taken time to nearly completely dry up. There was a puddle at the entrance to the girls' bathroom, and other random water bodies of various sizes scattered throughout the floor.

And leading into the girls' bathroom was a single footprint. A fresh footprint.

Still half-invisible, Merlin stepped around the puddle carefully and edged around the wall into the bathroom.

Why this bathroom? Why would someone go in here, at this hour? Has my secret been found out?

Or maybe, Arthur's prattish voice stated in an insufferable tone, some girl needed to take a dump.

Merlin really, really hoped that wasn't the case. If it were, events were about to get very awkward.

The first thing that Merlin noticed when he stepped into the bathroom was the smell. It was a familiar smell, he'd passed it before...

That smells like the potion that I use to turn into Dragoon the Great. But something's off about it.

It smelled almost the same. Maybe an extra ingredient. Some kind of potion to change one's form, perhaps.

The next thing that Merlin noticed was the voices.

There were voices in the bathroom. And it wasn't just Myrtle talking to herself -it was two distinct pairs of voices, female.

Merlin pressed his back to the wall and listened.

"...Took it," a familiar voice vented frustratedly. "Who could have done it?"

"I don't know, I was in the tubes and didn't see..."

"Myrtle, it's important. Have you seen anyone in this bathroom, at all, besides me?"

It was the first voice again. And it hit Merlin, suddenly, who the voice belonged to.

Ginny Weasley.

Why would Ginny Weasley be here? In this bathroom, of all places to be in the castle? Because this bathroom was no ordinary bathroom, for sure.

Well, she has more reason to be here than I do. At least she's a girl.

"...Well..." Myrtle began in a voice that clearly conveyed that yes, there had been someone here.

"Myrtle," Ginny warned in a dangerously low tone. "Who was it?"

"This bathroom has been strangely active recently," Myrtle commented idly. "Everyone who's been in this bathroom lately's been doing things that's definitely not going to the bathroom. I could tell you all sorts of secrets."

Ginny was becoming livid. "Myrtle, tell me or so help me I will blow up the U-bend."

"All right, all right," Myrtle backtracked. "Leave my U-bend alone, I'll tell you everything."

Merlin's eyes grew wide. Oh, no. Myrtle, please don't...

"There was a black-haired boy, first," Myrtle announced, and Merlin slouched in defeat. Ginny'll be majorly suspicious of me, now. "Pale. Blue eyes. Sharp cheekbones. He and Snape could swordfight. Snape would have to use his nose..."

"Focus, Myrtle. What did the boy do?"

Myrtle frowned. "He appeared out of a wall and left. He was one of the boys who got Petrified. Him and the runty blonde kid."

Merlin could almost hear cogs turning in Ginny's head.

"Okay," Ginny continued slowly. "Pushing aside the fact that Myrddin Emrys appeared out of a wall and walked away, who else has been here?"

"You."

"Yes, who else?"

Merlin felt vaguely sympathetic for Ginny. Getting answers out of Myrtle was like trying to pry scales off of an uncompliant dragon, one by one.

"Those Gryffindors. They were making some sort of potion, I wasn't really paying attention."

This was new. Merlin perked up and listened closely. Out in the hallway, McGonagall strained her cat ears.

"Gryffindors? Which Gryffindors?"

There was a pause.

"The annoying one," Myrtle commented. "And the redhead. And..." the ghost sighed in some emotion akin to infatuation. "That handsome boy..."

"Harry, Ron, and Hermione, you mean?"

There was a silence, but Merlin could assume that Myrtle was nodding.

"That's not all. There's been one more person."

All three listeners held their breath, waiting.

"The teacher. Strawberry blonde."

"Lockhart?"

"Yeah, probably. He came the day after the diary disappeared, played around with some of the sinks, and left."

There were footsteps -Ginny's footsteps, pacing back and forth.

"It's all connected somehow," the girl spoke frustratedly. "Something about this bathroom...any one of them could have the bloody diary, or someone else completely. And what was Emrys doing, why was he in a wall, where did he come from..."

"You could just ask him," Myrtle suggested.

"I will," Ginny spoke determinedly, and Merlin's heart dropped. What excuse was he going to use this time? "Once I get back to the tower, I will march into that dorm and demand that he tell me -"

"Or you could just ask him."

"Yes, I will, haven't you been listening?"

Myrtle sighed. "No. Ask him now. As in, right now. Because he's over there, see? Invisible, but there's footprints in the water and if you look really closely you can see cheekbones -"

And before Merlin could comprehend what was happening, he found Ginny's wand at his neck. Surprised, he released his grip on the Marauder's Map and it fluttered to the ground.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Merlin berated himself mentally as the tip dug sharply into his jugular. All those years of sneaking around Camelot and you still are the worst ninja EVER...

"What are you doing here?" Ginny hissed, and his alarmed blue eyes met her suspicious brown. "Did you follow me?"

Merlin shook his head quickly. "Passing by...heard voices..." he choked out, and took a gulp of air as Ginny lightened up a bit on the wand at his throat. "Complete coincidence, I swear."

Ginny's gaze narrowed. "Say I believe you," she spoke softly. "What were you doing in the bathroom before? Why did you come out of a wall?"

Merlin just gulped as his mind raced furiously to think up an excuse.

"Ah...uh...erm. Well."

Brilliant. She'll definitely believe that.

The wand poked further.

"I was, uh, plumbing."

"..."

"My aunt was a muggle, see, and she had this thing for fixing pipes."

"...?"

"And I came in here a while ago, and the faucet didn't work, so I thought that I'd do all of the girls a favor..."

Ginny just gaped at him incredulously -awed by his fantastic plumbing skills or awed by the fact that anyone could come up with such a horrible lie, Merlin didn't know.

Merlin continued nervously. "I'm sorry to say that I'm not quite as good at plumbing as I'd hoped," he shook his head forlornly. "The faucets still don't work. Which is why I came back here, you know, to re-fix them -and what a coincidence, I met you here -"

I should probably shut up now, Merlin's brain told him, but his mouth didn't comply. It tended to talk a lot when under pressure.

"...And I couldn't help but overhear something about Lockhart, and a potion...and what's this diary you speak of?"

Ginny blinked. "You are a horrible liar," she decided. "You are probably the worst liar I've ever known. And I have six Weasley brothers."

Merlin just shrugged. "You're changing the subject," he noticed. "What's the diary?"

"You're changing the subject too," Ginny mumbled, but complied to answer. "The diary is a...well, it's a diary. I had it for a while, and then I got angry and threw it away."

Merlin's brows furrowed. "It didn't sound like just a diary, from the way that you were talking about it. It sounds bad. Dark."

Ginny removed the wand from Merlin's throat completely and Merlin slumped. Myrtle peered owlishly at him from behind Ginny's back.

"It is dark," Ginny admitted, evidently no longer perceiving Merlin as a threat as her gaze slid to the floor. "It...has a mind. It knows things."

"It has a mind. What does that mean?"

"I mean, when you write in it, the diary -" she paused, and her expression shifted to puzzlement, then annoyance. "Why am I telling you this?" She wondered aloud. "Half the school thinks you're a complete lunatic, the other half thinks you're a dark wizard. You're probably one of the top five most untrustworthy people in all of Hogwarts, now..."

"Because I saw you."

Ginny froze, mouth hanging half-open. Out in the hallway, still listening in eagerly, McGonagall the cat crept closer.

"You saw me," Ginny repeated in a robotic monotone. "When?"

"The Chamber of Secrets has been opened," Merlin recited. "I saw you, then. You ran."

Instead of fear, or shock, as Merlin had expected, an expression of complete bewilderment crossed Ginny's face. "What is that supposed to mean?"

She doesn't remember.

Why doesn't she remember?

She was possessed.

Right.

"I don't want to talk with you about this, now," Merlin muttered, and his eyes flickered to the pearly spectral form that floated behind Ginny. Myrtle took the hint, frowning, and backed away, but was still within earshot.

"I can keep a secret," Myrtle pouted, and Ginny snorted.

"As long as no one threatens your toilet, you can. Would you mind leaving us alone?"

Myrtle darkened in anger, throwing a minor tantrum as she blew away and disappeared down the third toilet.

Merlin found the wand at his throat once again.

"Really, this is getting ridiculous -" he tried, but Ginny would have none of it.

"Do not speak of this," she hissed at him. "Ever. To anyone, or I'll be forced to...investigate further into your plumbing escapades."

Merlin mentally kicked himself, again, for the flimsy excuse from earlier.

"Got it," he nodded. Ginny dropped the wand, gave him one last evil eye, and disappeared out the door.

Once she was out, she dropped the tough facade, slumping her shoulders and taking a long breath in. She shook her head then, straightened, and continued down the hall, not noticing the slit-eyed feline peering at her from a nook.

Inside the bathroom, Merlin moved over to a blank spot on the bathroom wall. It was stained, and cracked; it generally looked like the rest of the broken-down latrine, but the warlock knew better.

Behind this wall lay the place where Merlin had slept for one thousand years. He didn't go in -he wasn't that foolish, someone could be watching -and instead tore his gaze away from the wall and the memories.

He was about to leave the bathroom when he had an idea.

Casting his eyes around the room, Merlin's gaze fell on a rusty toilet that looked somewhat more broken than the others. He leant down, reaching his hand towards a bit of spare lead piping that had come undone from the backside of the toilet and was hanging from the wall by only a thread. With a quick aureate flash of his eyes, the piping ripped free of the wall. With another flash, the lead piping's gray-rusty color faded, being replaced by a soft brown wood. It lengthened, and straightened, and in seconds Merlin held in his hands a stiff stick that looked remarkably similar to an average wizard's wand.

Satisfied with his work, Merlin climbed to his feet and pocketed his pipe-wand. He picked up the Marauder's Map that had fallen to the floor earlier and exited the bathroom with a flourish.

Merlin didn't notice McGonagall, either.


I've decided to post this chapter a bit early for no reason other than I HIT 100 REVIEWS! YAAAAY! I LOVE YOU ALL! (See, good things come to those who review...hint, hint... :))

Side note, Sprout isn't dead, just Obliviated. And someone knocked her out. I think. AND ALSO go read The Prophecy by VikingSong. It's already gotten, like, six hundred reviews or something like that, and I'm hooked.

whenithitsthefan