Loki and Thor were glumly eating crunchy pancakes together when a man in a suit came walking into the room. He glanced at his associates, and they all began to gather up the human's belongings. Thor and Loki watched with interest until Jane, Darcy and Erik came walking in. Jane screamed in terror and began rushing around trying to get her stuff back.
"I'm Agent Phil Coulson, and I have to take your stuff because we don't trust you yet," Coulson said, smiling proudly.
"You can't take my stuff!" Jane shrieked, rushing around to try to grab her stuff back.
"Yes, I can." Coulson said. "All I have to do is think of a wonderful thought."
"Any happy little thought?" Erik and Jane said in unison.
"Uh-huh!"
"Like toys at Christmas?" Jane asked.
"Sleigh bells?" Erik added. "Snow?"
Coulson nodded. "Yep! Watch me now, here I go. It's easier than pie."
Jane was super excited. "He can fly!"
"He can fly?" Erik repeated.
"He's stealing our stuff! My ipod!" Darcy wailed as Coulson stole her ipod. "Hey, do you want my number, too?"
Thor stood up and walked over to Coulson, clutching his lunch protectively to his chest. "Agent Coulson, are you going to take the crunchy pancakes, too?"
Coulson stared at him. "Those are plates."
"They're yummy!" Loki exclaimed, and Eeyore nodded.
"Okay. Whatever." Coulson rolled his eyes. "No, we're not taking the crunchy pancakes, you can keep them."
"Thank you!" Thor said, happily going back to eating the plates.
"Jane, let it go!" Erik said, grabbing stuff from Jane and handing it to the agents that were taking stuff away from them. "These people could be dangerous!"
"We certainly want you to think so right now," Coulson agreed.
Loki put Eeyore down on the table and went to look out the window. He began to compose a poem about crunchy pancakes.
"So, I have a feeling that the two of you aren't from around here," Coulson said to Thor and Loki. "I know that because of the strange stuff that's been happening, and you think plates are crunchy pancakes. Care to tell me where you're from?"
"They're from around here!" Erik interrupted. "They're Donald Blake, and... um... er... ah... Tom Lewis!"
"Tom Lewis?" Loki repeated, turning around. "If I was human, I'd be Tom Hiddleston, not Tom Lewis. You're crazy, Selvig."
"Oh, well if you say that they're from around here, they must be from around here," Coulson said with a shrug. "Hey, cool ipod! What songs are on it?"
"Loki! Help me!" Eeyore suddenly shouted. One of the agents was trying to shove him into a plastic bag. With a mighty roar, Loki leaped over the table and slammed into the agent, snatching Eeyore back. The agents all were stunned, and then decided to beat Loki up because he wasn't letting them steal Eeyore. But as they tried to beat him up, Thor beat them up. Coulson watched with interest.
"Cool," he said, watching the fight. He turned to Erik. "Do you have any popcorn?"
But unfortunately, they didn't get to watch the fight and eat popcorn. Because at that moment, the bifrost descended and grabbed Loki and Thor. Pulling them away from the agents, the bifrost took them back to Asgard. Coulson turned to Erik.
"I think you lied to me."
"No, we didn't," Erik said quickly. "That's just the steroids they're on."
"Oh," Coulson said. "Okay. Well, it looks like we've got all your stuff. See you later!"
Meanwhile, back in Asgard, Frigga was waiting for Thor and Loki to return. As soon as they appeared, she threw her arms around them and hugged them tightly.
"Welcome back, boys," she exclaimed.
"Mother, this is Eeyore, isn't he the best friend I've ever had?" Loki said happily. "Eeyore, this is Asgard, my home."
"That's cool," Eeyore said. "I like it here, can we stay?"
"Of course! We'll stay forever!" Loki gushed.
Thor wasn't as happy as Loki and Eeyore to be back. "Mother, I met a woman on earth who said she was my real mother. She was lying, wasn't she?"
"Er-" Frigga bit her lip. "I am your mother, Thor, but I didn't give birth to you."
"You lied to me?" Thor wailed.
Frigga hung her head. "Yes. I lied to you. And that is why you're banished again! Loki, come back here, I'm sending you both back to earth." She hugged her sons tightly. "Goodbye, love you both!"
"Goodbye, mother!" Loki and Thor chorused as Frigga blasted them into the tangled colored lights of the bifrost.
After they were gone, Frigga contemplated what she had just done. She stretched out her arms and nodded once. "I see why Odin likes this so much!"
Just then, because it's necessary for what little semblance of plot this thing has, (even though I really do hate it when authors write into their story that they're writing a story, such as what I'm doing now,) Sif and the warriors three came running in. "My queen," Sif shouted dramatically. "Loki is a traitor! He let the Jotuns into Asgard!"
"How dare you!" Frigga screamed, ignoring proper grammar and adding far too many exclamation marks (even though this site won't allow more than one). "You're all banished!"
"What?" Sif said in confusion, but then the four of them were banished to earth.
Frigga grinned. "Let's see. Who else can I banish?"
