Chapter 6
"There is no greater tyranny than that which is perpetuated under the shield of law and in the name of justice."[1]
– Charles de Monesquieu
"Kukukukuku... kuhuhu... bwahahaha!"
Demiurge put down the book he was reading, unable to hold back his laughter anymore.
"Demiurge-sama, is something wrong?"
The pretty homunculus maid looked at him with curiosity. Demiurge was always smiling cheerfully, and was genuinely happy to work for their master's benefit, but the maid had never seen him happy enough to laugh out loud.
"Indeed... hehehe... aaah..."
He needed a few moments to fully regain his composure.
"Indeed! Quite alright, thank you."
The polite and suave devil assured the maid, and stood up, straightening his suit before he walked out of the room.
"Thank you, the meal was splendid."
He left the book open where he had been reading, so the maid naturally approached it to mark the page with a handkerchief before closing the book and placing it back on the shelf.
It was at then, that her eye caught the passage Demiurge had been reading when his humor so drastically improved.
"A lawful evil villain methodically takes what he wants within the limits of his code of conduct without regard for whom it hurts. He cares about tradition, loyalty, and order but not about freedom, dignity, or life. He plays by the rules but without mercy or compassion. He is comfortable in a hierarchy and would like to rule, but is willing to serve. He condemns others not according to their actions but according to race, religion, homeland, or social rank.
He is loath to break laws or promises. This reluctance comes partly from his nature and partly because he depends on order to protect himself from those who oppose him on moral grounds. Some lawful evil villains have particular taboos, such as not killing in cold blood (but having underlings do it) or not letting children come to harm (if it can be helped). They imagine that these compunctions put them above unprincipled villains.
Some lawful evil people and creatures commit themselves to evil with a zeal like that of a crusader committed to good. Beyond being willing to hurt others for their own ends, they take pleasure in spreading evil as an end unto itself. They may also see doing evil as part of a duty to an evil deity or master.
Lawful evil is sometimes called "diabolical," because devils are the epitome of lawful evil.
Lawful evil creatures consider their alignment to be the best because it combines honor with a dedicated self-interest.
Lawful evil is the most dangerous alignment because it represents methodical, intentional, and frequently successful evil."
'What a funny little book.'
The pretty maid closed it and replaced it on the shelf, before beginning to clear the table.
~O~
Studying the Theocracy's death god, Demiurge couldn't help but smile. It was a set of beliefs practically tailor-made for the Supreme Being's benefit. So much so, found himself genuinely wondering if this had been all preplanned by his master's glorious mind, centuries in advance.
After all, assuming that the Supreme Beings were ageless and eternal was only logical. It was one of his pet theories, after all, that they had probably left to conquer other worlds, and would one day return victorious to Nazarick.
Right now, however, he couldn't help but grin as he kept thinking of ways to exploit the Theocracy's death god. No, perhaps, such delightful deity merely needed to be updated.
'Should I try and secure some priests?'
The Empire followed four of the Theocracy's six gods already, these being the gods of water, fire, earth and water, so the theocracy itself would certainly be more than happy to answer to requests for missionaries who could spread the faith in the gods of life and death.
However, rather than having them work against one another in a race to gain new converts, Demiurge wanted to engage both groups in theological debate, and convert them through means magical or mundane, to the service of his new Church of Life And Death, with the Supreme Being, Ainz Ooal Gown as a singular deity ruling over human lives from the cradle to the grave and beyond.
What should this beyond be, exactly? As a devil in a world with magic, it was rather self evident to demiurge that there were other planes of existence. He and everyone else in Nazarick had arrived from one, after all.
Reading what religious texts he had been able to obtain, both in the empire or in the great library of Nazarick, he had realized that there were as many a different afterlife as there were religions, and even some philosophies offered different versions of life after death.
In the end, he decided to go with reincarnation, as it was the most convenient of them all.
The idea that upon death, the soul would go to a higher plane or supreme entity, be cleansed and sent back into the world, was an easy and convenient explanation not just for his master's role in the whole process, but also ruled out the idea of a soul lingering in some heaven or hell.
It would free believers of the fear in eternal damnation, and replace it with a new, if ultimately temporal, new life, whose comfort and stature would depend on how much they contributed to their god's table upon death.
It was a simple, commercial religion where they would be able to buy not only their god's favor in this life, but also in the next.
"Please your God. Live a full life, contribute to your god's church, and receive more life right now. Live many experiences and offer them at your god's table when you die to earn new life all over again."
You could even use it to explain the disparity between fortune and suffering right now. It was simply what you deserved for the sins in your previous life. There is no chaos, everyone is where they deserve to be. If you were fortunate, you deserved to be fortunate. If you were unfortunate, it was up to you to get a better life next time around.
It was easy enough to promote.
Already, Demiurge had shown the death cultists of the empire that they could expect immediate and obvious benefits in this life. The afterlife had always been the vague promise of distant gods in the past, but the new, true god was no distant entity. It existed in the world right now, gave them wife proof of its powers, and offered a new and better life after death.
The rich and the poor, the peasants and the nobles, the stunning and the homely, everyone had reasons to convert. They may want a better life after death, they may wish to prolong their current life.
It provided a simple, easy to understand cycle of life and death, as well as an explanation for the fortune, good or bad, of people. The humans would say "of course, it makes sense now."
~O~
Albedo raised into the sky, flying towards the sky castle in full gear.
Its guardians studied her, and she could sense several spells checking her level, attributes and alignment.
Almost immediately, the guardians began using spells against her, without leaving the castle doors.
Several giant hands of pure force appeared before her in the middle of the air. 10" tall from wrist to fingertip, they prevented her advance. [Interposing Hand] was a middle level spell that provided a impassable barrier and prevented an opponent from approaching its caster.
As a max level NPC specialized in defense, Albedo was exceptionally familiar with this particular spell series, since she was able to use them for great effect herself, summoning the whole spell line to grapple, annoy, punch and crush the enemies of the supreme beings.
Nothing can fool the hand-it sticks with the selected opponent in spite of darkness, invisibility, polymorphing, or any other attempts at hiding or disguise. Therefore, it wouldn't matter if Pandora's Actor polymorphed into a bird, the hands would still prevent him from approaching.
They had to be dealt with, there was no way around it.
The problem was, those guardians in the castle door were summoning more hands even as she hovered out of range.
Well, it was a extremely efficient spell for its low mana cost. The hands hp was identical to that of their summoners at full hp, and their defenses grew with their summoners level, so for example, if Albedo summoned one, it would have exceedingly high defenses and hp.
'Actually, isn't this a good way to measure how powerful those guys are?'
Indeed, if he hands before her had as much hp as the summoners, and if their defenses were dependent on their summoners level, then...
She flew forth again, and swung her axe at one of them. It took damage, but didn't fade away with a single swing.
The hands retreated a little, but Albedo didn't chase them. Indeed, she was familiar with all the spells in that series. Interposing, holding, punching and crushing hands all looked exactly the same, but the latter were far, far more dangerous. To recklessly fly into a swarm of [Bigby's Crushing Hands] would be nothing but a stupid and reckless action, so she was quite content to hover in place and consider her next move.
She flew around the castle, and as expected, the hands followed her within their maximum range, perfectly placing themselves between her and the castle guardians.
'Alright, then.'
She flew under the castle, and as expected, the hands followed her. After all, once a target was assigned to them, it was impossible to fool them. She was slightly faster than the hands, but knew that to an illusion created by the hands simply reacting to her movement rather than taking the initiative.
'How convenient.'
She smiled as she saw more and more hands being summoned.
Each hand was half transparent, allowing one to see through it as if through a dirty window, but with so many of them now between her and the castle, the swarm had become a opaque, nearly solid wall which prevented line of sight for both her and her likely foes.
She flew back up, directly over the castle, braced herself, then dive-bombed when she thought they were done with their summoning.
Nearly six dozen 10" tall hands now floated before her. As she expected, they were not merely [Bigby's Interposing Hands], which were harmless if annoying. There also were several [Bigby's Crushing Hands] hidden in the swarm, each strong enough to crush a boulder into dust or twist a giant's neck.
As one, every giant hand in the area hurried in to intercept her like a strange flock of misshapen birds of prey. There were so many of them, that it was impossible to even see Albedo under the dog pile.
Dozens of fist, strong enough to punch through castle walls and reduce boulders to sand, crashed upon her from every direction... then disappeared as one as Albedo used a [Prismatic Sphere] to welcome them.
It was one of her strongest spell-like abilities, usable three times a day.
Arguably the ultimate defensive spell, the sphere fitted Albedo's purpose perfectly. It was opaque for her enemies, yet appeared at transparent to her, and thus made it impossible to hit her with any spell requiring a target. Not only that, each of the seven layers of the sphere had to be destroyed in order before accessing the next, each demanded a very specific spell to be destroyed, and touching the sphere would automatically trigger the effects of all 7 layers on anyone foolish enough to try his luck with it.
Its disadvantages are that it couldn't move once created, and that it can't be created in a space already occupied by an enemy.
In short, she had to literally hope the enemy was stupid enough to literally run into it. Luckily, the mindless, magically floating giant hands had but one duty and reason to exist, that being to intercept, stop and crush her.
But what exactly does it mean to touch a [Prismatic Sphere] and how do you destroy it?
1st layer – Red. It stops all non-magical ranged weapons, deals fire damage to anything that touches it, and needs to be destroyed with a [Cone of Cold] spell.
2nd layer – Orange. Stops all magical ranged weapons, deals twice as much acid damage as the previous layer did in fire damage, and needs to be destroyed with a [Gust of Wind]
3rd layer – Yellow. Stops all poisons, gases, and petrification effects. It deals as much electricity damage as the previous layer did acid damage, and needs to be destroyed with a Disintegrate] spell.
4th layer – Green. Stops breath weapons, and kills you if you are not immune to poison. Even if you survive, your maximum hit points are diminished by 5% to 15%. It needs to be destroyed with a [Passwall] spell.
5th layer – Blue. Stops all divination attempts, and all mental attacks. It has a high chance to petrify any physical enemy that touches it. It needs to be destroyed with a [Magic Missile] spell.
6th layer – Indigo. Stops all spells. A enemy touching the indigo layer needs to resist or become permanently affected by Insanity. It needs to be destroyed with a [Daylight] spell.
7th layer – Violet. Energy field that destroys all objects and effects. If a creature somehow saves from being destroyed, it is instantly sent to another plane. It must be destroyed with a [Dispel Magic] spell.
Yes, the final, violet layer makes all other layers redundant except in that they force the enemy to spend 6 more spells in order to be able to dispel the final layer. If this was a card game, [Prismatic Sphere] would be considered insane since it would give you a seven card advantage.
You cast one spell, the enemy needs seven, very specific spells, in a very specific order, to counter or dispel yours.
This is why, [Prismatic Sphere] is considered by many as the ultimate defensive spell or ability.
A second after the giant floating hands attacked her, all that was left was Albedo inside her [Prismatic Sphere]. As she expected, the mindless hands rushed her, and were destroyed.
Still, as she left the safety of the sphere and began approaching the castle once again, the guardians at its door either took to the air in her direction, or began summoning again.
The summoners used [Black Blade of Disaster] this time. It was hard to call it a summoning spell, as it 'created' a sword-shaped black tear in reality.
The swords 'summoned' this way had the ability to ignore obstacles such as armors or shields, and dealt heavy damage to their target, and happened to be invulnerable since they weren't real weapons, but tears in reality.
Unlike [Bigby's Crushing Hand] however, the 'sword' could miss their attacks.
Of course, the violet layer of the [Prismatic Sphere] could destroy them, same as it destroyed anything else, but the blades had to be ordered to attack, and the chances of the unknown guardians being as indulgent as to fall for the same trick twice, and trying to attack Albedo her within her [Prismatic Sphere] were nil.
A winged warrior dressed as a viking hero swung his axe at Albedo, while a female archer took aim with a golden bow.
"Harlot, you'd dare approach Eryuentiu, home of the Platinum Lord!?"
Albedo's axe interceptor the viking's, her weapon seemingly as heavy and steady as a fortress. No, her axe had actually dented the viking's.
"It seems some Inferior Being has claimed a grand title for himself."
She calmly replied, and quickly pulled her axe back, swinging it down against the warrior.
While her defense was leagues above what the berserk could aspire to, on the offense her strength was evenly matched with her foe, whom while being slightly lower level than herself, was more rounded up, while she was a defense specialist.
Honestly, one on one there was no doubt Albedo would quickly and easily beat the warrior. It was obvious that if heir offense was similar, she, who had defenses two orders of magnitude better, would come out on top.
"Wolric! I'll assist you!"
The female archer opened fire against Albedo, her golden bow shooting arrows so fast that it looked as if golden rays were stretching between them.
Even with the winged berserker swinging his axe at her, Albedo had little trouble either dodging or blocking the golden arrows. Her super specialized defensive traits and attributes easily dealing with their attacks.
"That old bird house? My glorious master is the only Supreme Being, Ainz Ooal Gown! It is my intention to destroy any would-be challengers of his might!"
Even while chased around by the archer's arrows, it looked as if Albedo would have eventually come out on top against the berserker, and the archer, but dealing with all six guardians and their summons would have been beyond her.
She flew under the castle once more, but this time the summons did not follow her. Obviously, their masters had no intention of losing them to another [Prismatic Sphere].
A few moments later, the summoners were quite happy to see the Berserker and the archer come back into sight with Albedo throw over Wolric's shoulder.
~O~
Ainz was looking at a large, updated map of the Re-Estize kingdom. It was spread over the desk of his office in the dwarven capital, and held in place by Yuri's fingertips. The paper used by the locals was actually of higher quality than he expected, being woven in fine cotton threads rather than pressed, bleached vegetable fibers, but its texture sucked up ink rather harshly if one wasn't careful when working with it, causing lines and characters to become thick and distorted.
'Uhmm, I guess it really shows when you have a professional do the work. It really feels like a high class item.'
Spilling any liquid on the map would instantly render it mostly unusable due to blurring, but as long as one was careful in that sense, it was a very durable product. It still was weak to fire, but being made of woven threads, it was highly resistant to the tear and wear of regular use.
"What do you think, Ainz-sama?"
"I am quite satisfied with it. Maybe we should have one made in a bronze or copper plate, and sent to Nazarick to be used in future planning sessions."
"I will see to it."
The map had been made by a crew of local dwarven engineers, and its accuracy was astounding. It reminded Ainz of a modern map, with proper scale and symbols, rather than the loose artistic license found in the maps used by the Re-Estize Kingdom.
"Uhmm, looking at it, don't we actually have several villages in our domain, now? Here's Carne, but I wasn't aware of Hueso, Salsa and Fideo. We could actually develop these into more specialized roles rather than having them each grow the same produce."
"Should we begin moving the population around? It would be helpful to have all the people used to growing a given crop together in the same place for it, I think?"
"You think so, Yuri?"
Ainz thought about it. As a modern company man, it seemed natural for him to relocate as his company needed him to. For the people in those villages, however, it meant abandoning their ancestral homes, but this didn't even occur to him at all.
In the end, what saved the people from a massive exodus wasn't Ainz humanity, but his common sense.
"Wait, what if something happens and that village is destroyed? Wouldn't we lose all of the people familiar with that specific crop?"
There were, after all, very real threats to a village's survival in this world. The group of knights that almost wiped out Carne village had successfully erased many other villages off the map, after all. It was a desire to not 'place all eggs in one basket' that kept Ainz from uprooting the villagers and moving them around.
~O~
Yuri had to admit, she much preferred the dwarven city to E-Rantel. Even with the new streets and infrastructure upgrades of the last few months, the human city still had a long way to go before becoming as modern -and clean- as the dwarven city.
There were no vermin on the streets, and even in the marketplace, it was hard to find a stray dog or stain in the ground. The dwarves seemed healthy and were well dressed, every one of them seemingly clear on his or her purpose, and working hard in order to improve not just their own lot in life, but their community as a whole.
"Miss Yuri, it is such a pleasure to see you again. What will it be today?"
As a royal guest, Ainz was provided and cared for by a small army of local servants, but he had asked Yuri to browse the local markets and gain as accurate an idea as possible of the local goods and their value.
"What are these, and how do you prepare them?"
She gestured towards some thick, pale pink roots. She had no aversion towards any local product, and the idea of growing food without direct sunlight was immensely appealing to her as a citizen of underground Nazarick.
Even if 'normal' vegetables could be grown in the 6thfloor, the addition of new goods to Nazarick's pantries could only be a good thing. Adding dwarven vegetables, which were able to grow underground, meant that many more floors were now possible farming grounds.
~O~
"...why, yes, we do have religious freedom. The people are free to pray to whomever they choose, as long as they continue to pay their taxes, and their faith doesn't require them to harm other sentient beings."
The young blood emperor, Jircniv Rune Farlord el Nix, was honestly surprised by the toadman's question. The Baharut Empire formally recognized the Four Great Gods as its state religion, but didn't require its citizens to adhere to it.
In fact, if the emperor was a religious man, he would have in all likelihood found his faith on thin ice at the thought of worshiping a deity that allowed a creature such as Ainz Ooal Gown to exist.
"Is that sho? Won-derfhul!"
Demiurge's attention had already wandered off his own question towards a pretty dancer nearby, and was looking at her swaying figure while stuffing his mouth with food.
Of course, he didn't really had any interest in the human girl, other than perhaps as a new addition to the breeders of his two-legged sheep farm. Having good stock depended on proper breeding, after all, and the girl seemed to ooze health and a healthy sexuality as her body swayed and twisted in time with the music. Of course, he was indeed playing the part of a dull beastman full of obvious flaws and appetites, so he looked at the girl with feigned interest as he continued to eat.
"Would you like me to send her to you?"
Jircniv was delighted to see that Demiurge wasn't immune to the dancer's attractive. If it would gain him a foothold on Nazarick, he would gladly sacrifice every dancing girl in the capital to the 'ambassador' and go to sleep with a clear conscience at night, knowing that it had been to protect the future not just of the empire or humanity, but of all living beings.
"They all look like such good breeders, could I have them all? The men too."
Greed, gluttony and lust. Demiurge was meant to incarnate all those things before the young emperor. Besides, it was a great chance to add high quality stock to his breeding pens. The citizens of E-Rantel, the adventurers and all the surviving humans in his 'farm' had been pretty random additions, so he didn't held any high expectations about the quality of their offspring.
'Eh? The men too? Wait, is he male or female? Does gender matters to him?'
"I... don't see why not."
The minister sitting next to Jircniv was horrified, but everyone in the room had been carefully selected by their devotion and understanding of their roles tonight. They were fighting for the survival of the world. Everyone, even Jircniv himself, was expendable.
"Oh, that's great, that's great! Thank you, your highness."
Having said so, Demiurge showed a wide, toothy smile, and began drinking from a tall jar, directly pouring its contents into his open maw.
"I am glad you enjoy our food and drinks. Would you like some more, Demiurge-sama?"
Two servants approached with a empty cart to retrieve the empty bowls, and one with fresh food and drinks. The one pushing the food cart waited until Demiurge replied with a nod of his head, and began placing the food on the now empty table.
"It's not bad, but I feel as if I'd need at least three times this much in order to try and match Nazarick's quality with quantity."
Jircniv couldn't even comment. He had tasted the food and drink of Nazarick only once, and he had to admit to them being leagues above the standards of the Empire's finest cuisine.
'Well, I understand trying to compete against quality with quantity, but as Ainz Ooal Gown, that monster, demonstrated at the Katze plains, quantity its no match for truly exceptional quality. No matter how many anthills are emptied to try and take down a dragon, it will still be a pointless fight.
'All we can hope for is that humanity united is more like a endless pack of wolves than a plain covered in ants when it comes to slaying the dragon that is Ainz Ooal Gown and the monsters in Nazarick.'
~O~
"Excellent work, Wolric! How did you manage to take her down?"
The summoners greeted the winged warriors with cheers as they approached them.
"It was easier than you'd think. Right, Albedo?"
At that moment, Albedo's axe appeared in her hands and she swung it against the closest summoner, while the mentally dominated archer did the same against the furthest away one, and 'Wolric' moved to thrust a glowing shortsword through the neck of the summoner before him.
Pandora's Actor [Mage Slayer] thrust had a silence effect added to its heavy damage, and rendered the target unable to cast or use skills for a full 12 seconds, plenty of time for the berserker he had turned himself into to finish it off.
Indeed, it would have been too much to expect from either of them to be able to get into melee with the summoners, protected as they were by a constantly increasing host of magically-summoned defenders, but since their opening summon was [Bigby's Crushing Hand] suggested that they relied on the magical hands' impossible ability to tell friend from foe in order to avoid falling for illusions and the like.
As soon as Pandora's Actor had seen those, he had suggested this plan to Albedo. It was a calculated risk, and it had paid beautifully.
~O~
As soon as she dived under the castle and out of the summoners line of sight, they ordered their summoned [Black Blade of Disaster] to stop, least they too finish themselves off by running (flying, really) into another [Prismatic Sphere].
Thus, it had been just the berserk and the archer behind Albedo.
The pure-white devil began flying around and behind the floating rocks beneath the castle, as if to find cover against the winged archer's shots. The berserker had chased after her, leaving the archer behind, which was all that Pandora's Actor, temporarily playing the part of a flying rock, needed in order to launch a mental assault against her.
A successful [Dominate] later, it was suddenly a three-to-one situation against Wolric, with a dominated level 85 ally and two level 100 enemies collaborating to take him down.
"Did it work?"
Albedo looked at Pandora's Actor while the greater doppelganger stood on top of a flying rock and shapeshifted into the now gone berserker.
"Yes! The divination and dimensional barriers held, so he was unable to use [Message] to warn his friends above. It was a fully successful operation!"
"Alright. You, how many more guardians are there in the castle, and are you the highest leveled ones?"
Albedo addressed the dominated archer, and she confirmed that indeed, the six of them were all that was left of the original guild.
"Let's go, then."
~O~
Trapped in ultra close-quarters fighting with Albedo and Pandora's actor, the remaining guardians did their best by quickly spreading out and attempting to summon again, but it was already a lost fight.
Pandora's Actor shape shifted again into Tabula Smaragdina, and used the mental powers of the paragon illithid [2] to great effect, quickly mind-blasting the two nearest summoners to temporarily retire them from the fight.
The silencedsummoner tried to push Pandora's Actor off the platform by the castle doors, but Albedo had already determined the greater doppelganger[3] as target of her [Bodyguard] skill, and so automatically countered the perceived 'attack' with lethal force.
With a single swing of her axe, the staff and arms of the already wounded and silenced summoner, hit the ground before falling off the platform and down unto the desert.
The silent scream of the deathly wounded NPC lasted the whole 4 seconds that it took her to sublimate and disappear.
With one already dead and two temporarily stunned, the last summoner stepped backwards before using a [Mindblank] spell to protect himself against any mental attack, thus protecting himself against Pandora's Actor [Mindblast] and [Domination] mental attacks.
"Ah, that might've been a good idea, if our Tabula Smaragdina-sama wasn't also the boomstick of Ainz Ooal Gown. [Polar Ray]!"
Pandora's Actor couldn't access Tabula Smaragdina's over magic nor 10thlevel spells, but a 9thlevel [Polar Ray] hit the desperate NPC in the stomach, almost instantly turning him into an ice sculpture. The cold was so absolute that the ground was covered in frost, and the ice sculpture shattered into ice crystals after a few moments had passed.
Albedo simply began hitting one of the stunned guardians, dropping it to the floor in one blow and then continuing to smack it with her axe until there was nothing but gore and blood on the floor. It was truly a scene worthy of a censoring mosaic, as the blood kept splattering 6" tall into the walls before the NPC finally sublimated and disappeared.
In the meanwhile, Pandora's Actor used Tabula Smaragdina's [Brain Eating] ability to quite simply wraps his tentacles around the final, helpless summoner and archer's heads, then quite simply pull their brains out through their mouth.
A human would have found the scene deeply disturbing and gutwrenching, but Albedo didn't even bat an eye as she watched.
"Hmph! let us explore this glorified bird house now."
"I think you are being too harsh on the place, my lady commander. Just think, wouldn't it make a lovely vacation home for you and Ainz-sama to spend cold winter nights together? Rather than a birdhouse, isn't it a grand love nest?"
Pandora's Actor gestured towards the white castle, then to the scenery, his arms making a grand sweeping motion as he spoke, but by the time he looked at the succubus again, she was lost in her own world.
"Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest. Love nest..."
"Mein commander... Albedo, hello?"
Pandora's Actor waved his hands before Albedor for a minute, but she was unresponsive. Bright red, with both hands on her face, the succubus was busy squirming and grinning to herself. In the end, he had to snap his fingers a couple of times before she snapped back to reality.
"A-a-a-a l-love nest... a love nest for Ainz-sama and myself... ah... ahaha... ahahahaha... yes! Indeed! This castle is such a wonderful place! just perfect as a secluded, intimate love nest for my beloved Ainz-sama and myself... yo-you are a genius, Pandora's Actor!"
It took a while for Albedo to calm down, it wasn't until Pandora's Actor suggested that they still had to clean the place out and vacate any remaining inhabitants, that Albedo truly got a grip of herself.
"Yes! We can't allow for squatters to infest my and Ainz-sama's love nest!"[4]
The succubus' fighting spirit was MAX! and Pandora's Actor could have swore she was in flames as she picked up her axe and moved into the castle.
~O~
The dwarves couldn't understand how their king could so comfortably chat and laugh with the terrible undead sitting next to him.
"Ugh, don't you have a Heaven's Feather, a Fallen Seed or any other race change stuff[5]? Not being able to eat or drink sounds awful! Not to mention girls... oh man I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...! I mean, can you... you know?"
"I honestly wouldn't know. I haven't tried but I doubt it? I mean, I'm just a skeleton."
"Uhmm right, right. Well, something we definitively have to be grateful for is how long we get to live, right? I mean, a dwarf lives for about half a millenia or so. I'm still pretty young by the race's standard. Ah! Hey, you do have some, right? Race change items, I mean? Like I said, I'm still young, but between young and ageless, I know which one I'd prefer."
"How about a Book of the Dead?"
"Eh? I don't wanna be undead. I mean, we'd go back to what I asked you earlier, right? You can't eat, drink or fuck, right? Come think of it, can you even sleep?"
"I can sleep, just don't feel a need for it. But I do happen to enjoy it."
"Ah, well, the smart thing to do would have been to turn yourself into an angel before letting the outside world see you, right? I bet they would be singing a very different tune if an angel had descended from the heavens and rescued that .. what was the name of that village you saved, again?"
"Carne."
"Right! You can bet they would have made a holiday out of it if an angel had come down and rescued Carne village, and you would have saved yourself a lot of pain and bad rep, too! Natural undead are pretty much just like game mobs, you know? They attack anything that isn't another undead."
"Yes, I guess you're right, but it's a bit too late now. I guess Albedo would be happy if I ...ah, never mind."
"Uh nope, no way, who's Albedo, man?"
Indeed, for Satoru Suzuki, having someone to talk with was like balm for the soul, pretty much literally. Being surrounded by nothing but sycophants, worshipers and yes men. It was incredibly tiring to have to play the perfect evil overlord 24 hours a day 365 days a year, always worrying about every single little decision, every single word, every single gesture.
Ainz had to practice his mannerisms and way of speech before his full body mirror three times a day before he felt confident enough to leave his bedroom in Nazarick.
~O~
"Ah, sounds like she would indeed be happy if you switched, uh?"
The dwarf king smiled while drinking from his cup. His situation wasn't quite as 'bad' as Ainz's was, but he too was glad to have a fellow player to talk with after such a long time.
"Yama."
"Uhm?"
Please don't make me kill you, alright?
Yama Kobito, the dwarven king known as the Magic Craftsman, nearly chocked on his drink.
"Gah -cough- well, I bloody well hope you don't have to! ...ah, you killed my buzz. I think I'm quite sober now. In fact, I think this is the very definition of sobriety. Come on, I guess we should excuse ourselves and go talk business for a while."
"I'm sorry, and sure."
That's how both the king and his guest left the banquet hall and moved to the gardens, walking around in between strange luminescent flowers as big as palm trees, and gemstones that lined up the dwarven palace's gardens.
"That's pretty impressive."
Ainz was talking about the diamonds thrown around at either side of the garden, marking its roads.
"The flowers? Yeah, there's so much life growing underground, you wouldn't believe it. Even back on Earth there were plenty of weird stuff, but on this world its just mind blowing."
"I meant the gems. Is that quartz?"
"Uh? No, they're diamonds. You find them by the truckload when you dig deep enough."
"Aren't you filthy rich, then?"
"Ah, you are still thinking of the prices on Earth. Diamonds are mostly worthless around here. You can't really work them the way you could with other gems, and they're actually very common, you know? If you think they're so wonderful, I'll fill your bedroom with them in exchange for one of those Heavenly Feathers."
"Wait, seriously?"
"Of course."
"The prices from Earth...? Do you mind if I take just one and come back to you on that offer later? There's something I have to try, first."
"Sure. Help yourself."
Ainz reached down and grabbed a diamond the size of a grape. If the treasure room's Exchange Box was operating based on Earth's prices... just the rocks on this garden could solve all of Nazarick's budget issues for decades to come.
"Thanks."
"Hey, while you are feeling thankful, there's some serious issues I'd like to talk with you about. You are familiar with the Theocracy, right?"
"The country? Yes, I already ran into their forces before."
"That should make things simple then. You know they inherited some of Yggdrasil's worst features, right? I'm talking about their very open racism against non humans."
"I had read some reports about it, but is it so bad?"
"Elves are only good as slaves for them. They're literally their biggest export, and there's not that much difference between an elf and a human. Us dwarves have managed to avoid such a treatment, but only because we are too useful and because attacking a dwarven city is a exceedingly difficult thing to do. On the other hand, those assholes seem to have inherited some World Items, and-"
"What did you say1?"
Ainz interrupted Yama on the spot. This, could it be that he had finally found whomever it was that attacked Shalltear!?
~O~
"I see. Right... so, whomever the Six Gods were, they had World Items with them. And the Theocracy uses them to force the dwarves to pay tribute to them every year."
"That is pretty much it, yes. They also prevent us from expanding. It doesn't matters how secretly it is founded, they have no trouble finding any new outpost and wiping it out before it can be properly fortified. I assure you, there's nothing a dwarf values higher than his clan, so there's no way there's a traitor feeding them the information."
"Yes, I remember there was someone scrying on my fight with their Sunlight Script-."
"Oh? What happened?"
"It turns out, they were trying to assassinate Gazef Stronoff, the warrior captain of the Re-Estize Kingdom."
"I know who he is. To think they are so involved in the kingdom's politics... well, I was hoping you would agree to allying with me."
"Eh? What?"
"I mean, to ally your Sorcerous Kingdom with the Dwarven Kingdom. Next time they send a inquisitor looking for their tribute, I want you to stand by my side and help me tell them to go bugger themselves."
"If your diamonds fulfill my expectations, I'll be more than happy to ally our kingdoms."
~O~
Yuri Alpha had become fairly popular with the kitchen staff. She was a kind and beautiful, if strict, person to work with, and seemed more than eager to learn everything the staff could teach her. She was particularly interested in the local ingredients and their preparation, albeit her luck seemed supernaturally bad when it came to cooking.
Basically, she was the type of person that would cause the vegetables in a salad to catch flame and become charred without fire having been involved in the process at any point. It was to the point where it was unreal.
Still, she persevered, and stayed up late into the night while doing so. Her dedication was such, that the staff began commenting on how it seemed she had no need for rest as long as she had her duty.
Well, they were not too far from the truth. As a undead Dullahan, Yuri Alpha indeed had no need for rest, though she did made a pause to wash herself and her clothes before going back to attend her master.
It was this effort and dedication that truly earned her the admiration of the staff, and she was practically beaming with pride when she reported to her master that morning.
"Ainz-sama, your breakfast."
She walked into her master's room pushing a food cart with a simple salad and a glass of water.
Ainz had no need for food, and as a fellow undead, Yuri was aware of it, so he couldn't help but to look at her for a moment.
"Yuri, why a salad?"
"It's the only thing I am capable of preparing with the local ingredients at this time."
"I see, alright. ...eh? Wait, what?"
"I have finally raised my [Cook] level to 2, Ainz-sama!"
The battle maid was besides herself with pride and satisfaction. It had been several months since Ainz had ordered her and her sisters to try and cook, then forgotten about it since most of hem seemed unable to prepare anything that wasn't charred beyond recognition.
But Yuri, Shizu and the rest had never stopped trying. And finally, Yuri had succeeded.
"Oh, congratulations, Yuri Alpha of the Pleiades's! This is a great achievement indeed. If you can learn new skills, perhaps then even I could do the same? I was unable to wield a sword before, but if I kept trying long enough, then perhaps... no, wait, this may be related to you not being level 100 yet. You could say that you still have growing potential..."
Ainz thought about it for a while.
"What is your current level? Your experience?"
"Ah, my total level has gone up to 52. I have only now succeeded in leveling up, so my current experience is 0.5% with 99.95% to go before level up."
"I see. So basically, your [Cook] level went from 1 to 2, and you became able to prepare some local foods."
"That would be the case, Ainz-sama."
"Yuri, listen, you don't have to raise your [Cook] level if you would prefer to raise something else. We can always have someone else prepare our meals. To begin with, neither one of us needs to eat, so I don't want you to worry about preparing something that will only go to waste."
"It is not a problem, Ainz-sama. After all, Yamaiko-sama saw fit for me to be a [Cook] as well as a warrior, so I believe she would be happy to see me growing in whatever direction interests me most."
"...it is as you say. As long as it is what you truly wish, I have no objections. Yuri Alpha of the Pleiades's Six Stars, you have worked hard. Once we return to Nazarick, please let me know how I could reward you for it."
"No reward is necessary, Ainz-sama. Ultimately, whom but myself would be the most benefited by my level going up?"
"Don't be difficult, Yuri. I already spoke, so please begin thinking of a request."
"Yes, Ainz-sama."
Yuri bowed deeply and left the room. Once she was in the hallway outside, she made a gutsy victory gesture with both hands closed into fists as she let out a 'yes!' of joy.
Meanwhile, inside the room, Ainz was deep in thought.
Now that he knew it was possible to level up in this world, should he focus on rising the level of his followers? His Death Knights were level 35, and while that seemed to be quite strong for this world, the one he had tasked with learning [Martial Arts] had yet to show any progress.
Was it impossible then, for a creature from Yggdrasil to learn this world's [Martial Arts]? Yuri had managed to learn a local recipe through her [Cook] job.
He was lost in such thoughts, when his eyes fell on the salad that Yuri Alpha had left in his room.
'And... what am I supposed to do with this?'
~O~
Author Notes:
With the incoming release of vol. 10, I'm planning on either abandoning the Ainz Ooal Gown side of this fanfic, or adopting whatever happens on it and continuing, depending on if the Dragonic Kingdom disappears or not. Guess we'll just have to see what happens.
[1] Both this quote, and the fragment I inserted in Demiurge's book are there to show how well they apply not only to our smiling devil guardian, but also to the Theocracy, and how it treats other races under the excuse of mankind's defense.
[2] I invite you to look up "Illithid" on wikipedia before whining to me about Tabula Smaragnida NOT being an Illithid, but a 'Brain Eater' as it says on his sheet. I highly recommend the 'Typical Physical Characteristics' section of the wikipedia article. Personally, I think Tabula Smaragdina was an Alhoon. You can read on them on 'Illithid Variants' further down that same article.
[3] Again, wikipedia is your friend. Look up 'Doppelganger' on it.
[4] I know you should never mention yourself before someone else in a phrase, but my English wasn't good enough to figure out how to say this properly.
[5] Heaven's Feather and Fallen Seed are used to change races in Yggdrasil to angel or devil, respectively. If I remember correctly, Ainz does have some of these and even offered one to Cocytus at the end of the 4th volume.
